Showing posts with label thesis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thesis. Show all posts

Saturday, 1 June 2013

Thesis AGain

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah!

Last week I received emails from my course coordinator and also from the school's clerk. They said that my term is not ended yet. My colleagues which is Aida and Prema both also called me. They thought that I am still in progress to repair my thesis but the reality is that I am not repairing anything. I just went to mosques and praying besides reciting the Quran and litanies to purify myself yet I still feel not purified because I think that I am still selfish. Sometimes I had forgotten to take note on my parents feeling. It is a violation of commandments. 

Just about a week ago, those colleagues called me. And now I am almost finishing my thesis which is around 30,000 > words and about 87 pages, haha... I did not sleep days and nights to cope with the running time because this Monday is the due date which would determine whether I will be graduated as a master student of International and Diplomatic Studies (European). What is the title of my thesis? The title is "The Recognition of Religious Minority Rights in Europe: Muslim and UK as a Case Study". This is not really an easy study, but praises only due to the God the Highest. I am thankful to brother Abdullah al-Andalusi. His debates in the Muslim Debate Initiative series really helped me and because of that I could combine my readings about Islamic civilizations. The study also talks about the Sharia law and political angle of Islam besides analyzing the flaws of Western political philosophies such as liberalism and inequity in human rights as people hypocrisy could also be confusing.  

Right now, I am writing the last chapter which is the conclusion for the thesis. Tomorrow I would print it out and just return to USM, with His Will of course. Please brothers and sisters help me to pray for my success in the study. I love legal, policies and political studies though before I frowned at them. I am countering my fear factors now, haha... Thank you for prayers. My prayers is also for brothers and sisters.

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace and love, amin! 

Friday, 13 April 2012

Hope My Thesis Won't Make Me Stuck

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah


Haizzzzzz, I wish that my thesis won't make me stuck here. My supervisor just emailed me saying that she received a bundle of my thesis. She is not sure whether she could finish checking in a short time. I had send her emails many times but she never replies me. I actually didn't get any proper instruction from her. Only once that I get from her in the last two semester and she asked me to again polish up my proposals. I don't know why it should be like a Phd thesis for a master student? I thought that we suppose to do a mini-thesis.

I don't want to be graduated late and I don't want to send it in June. I can't even stand it anymore in here that makes me feel like not joining the graduation ceremony if I managed to pass everything. I simply want to get my certificate as a "receipt" for my parents and later paying back the amount that I had promised them because I had violated their rights in this way. I returned here because of Charlie which was my junior at my previous hostel apart of few other reasons but after I found that my service as a "company" is not needed anymore so why should I stay here anymore? I don't want to meet any new students anymore. It will be torturing me more if I have to also help others being their company while they are alone as I am a company for those who are alone and after that I will be stuck here forever. 

I just sent it after Juma'at prayer service. We also prayed for a passed away lady who was a staff in the Institute of Postgraduate in our institution. I don't know why but my eyes flow a little tears when I touched the coffin... I think maybe I imagined myself in the coffin :'(

I don't want to stay in USM anymore. This is not my time anymore to be a student here and my inner side is rejecting everything here. I have to go to the next scene of this life and not stuck in here forever. I have other responsibilities for nations. This 'course' is confining me from moving around. 

I just went to library before Maghrib prayer service then in the gap between Maghrib and 'Isya' I also spent my time there reading books about the God and the Path alone. I checked the Shariah kitabs at the Malay language section while trying to orally translate things (whispering) that I read into Chinese. I didn't bring any pen to jot down notes on what I had read and generated. I only have my Quran bag which I always bring together as a "friend". I planned to perform a ziyarah (visit) to China western province. I already planned this since I was working as an interpreter for Chinese nationals in airport during the time of Abdullah Badawi the fifth prime minister. I talked with few pilgrims to Mecca from China and asking them here and there about Muslims' area in their provinces, our missions and also about mausoleum of teachers. Many people going to India or Iran to visit teachers but I just want to bring Eastern region again into mainstream spheres and transmitting it more crossing the Yellow sea and among our fellow Malaysian Chinese Muslim brothers and sisters so we have more choice and not only bounded to our Malay or Indian brothers framework. Then checking the books and religious curriculum in Madrasas in China as a service for others here. That's only my ambition for the time-being. 

Ya Allah please help me, make everything flow smoothly and easily for me....... Please make my supervisor finish checking everything in this thesis before this 17th so I could have some time to edit everything and send it all to the panels at 24th April. I don't want to stay here anymore. I don't want to see new students in my hostel or anywhere in the university anymore. I beg You ya Allah. Please don't withhold me here it is very painful ya Allah. Only You know how painful it is. 

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace and love, amin!    

Friday, 9 March 2012

死論文期到

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah


剛跟文佩學妹聊聊
妮娜姐研究生院那裡把死論給老師以四月二十三號
 耐心吧... 不是很久我們都做完吧

 祈禱為宇宙的平安繁榮與愛情, 阿敏!

Wednesday, 16 November 2011

First Chapter Need Changes

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah


Hurrrm, this morning I had just met my supervisor, Dr. Noraida. She said that nothing much changed in the first part. I should repair the first part and put everything that they said in the introduction part. Actually, the more I look at the thesis the more I feel confused because everyday I just wandering in front of the computer looking at the thesis and checking what should I do. I had done the proposal for the thesis many times since last semesters and each time it should be amended according to different lecturers who advised us on research methodologies. I don't like to sit at the computer.  

How do I feel jah? Urmmm just feel like I wanted to cry. I would sincerely admit... I feel like I wanted to cry in the bus while returning to my room. If I am a woman I guess I would just cry in  front of people, hahahahahaha. So, being both man and woman actually is not easy. We have our own differences and problems in life. I feel my neck being tied with unnecessary ropes. I actually had made vow to study religious sciences and returning to my responsibility but this world is pushing me aside the way. I send text messages also to wrong people, so humiliating. It's because I feel so annoyed and my head think about many things. Sometimes I also feel like wanted to retreat, chap ye (tidy up things), return home, finding a job with my first degree certificate again and when I free just meditate in masjids or traveling around to perform da'awa on myself. If I saved enough money, I wanted to to go to some countries in Middle East or South Asia and stay there waiting for my "time" to come. Sometimes I'm quite pessimistic with future, lol. And sometimes I could only see darkness where I see myself in shroud cloth down the ground... 

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Guidelines and Comments Today

What did she advise me to do?

Background Part

On the background or introduction part it should be a brief one. It must be from general to specific introduction of the issue. I didn't change much in this part and it seems like the same with the previous one that I did. It's actually my fault, I didn't put the record in orderly manner. I have piles of paper here and it's all over the places. I told so at the supervisor but she thought that I tried to blame her, hahaha. For example, if I wanted to choose immigration policy, what is the relationship of UK in position of immigration and Muslim issue in UK? The program is about European Union so it must be related to the Union and not about a specific member state of the Union. If we talk about this Union everything must be about policy, politics, administration, legal system and guidelines from the treaties agreed by European Union member states.

Problem Statement Part

I should emphasize on issue chosen to be studied. Whether it is within the context of the policy, how to connect the problem of the immigration issue with the study of muslims in Europe with the UK as the case study? In problem statement, I should question myself, what is the reason to study? If it is about Muslim migrants, what are the reason behind this? What is the problem regarding Muslim migrants in the UK? The problem here is that whether the third and second generation of Muslim migrants are considered as migrants?

On the other hand, I had also put in the study about the notion of multiculturalism. I need to differentiate the study. Whether it is about the current population of Muslim in UK or about Muslim migrants? If I choose this type of social study, I need to make up my mind and choose because it makes my study obscure. When I change this, I must also change the objective as well as research questions.

Research Methodology

The term manipulation of data is not a suitable term to describe a method used in a research. It is more to a process. It is not an explanation of the method used. If I am going to do historical research for example, what are the methods? Try to read something about this in order to get some ideas.   

Sources

Where should I get my data sources? It means that what types of data that I am going to use for the research? In term of type of data sources, whether it is narrative types or people's opinion or academic theories? 

Are the data came from the reports, debates, or narratives of famous figures? Those things on where to access the data such as from internet searching could be described in brief.

Justify also why I need to use secondary data? How will it provides result to my objective and inquiry? 

Process in Analyzing Data

How about this process? How to sort them out? Qualitative process of analyzing the data? How to classify them into categories? How they are related and why they are related?

Significance of the Study

It must be totally changed according to what I choose in the background or introduction part. 

Another Comment

I took it too long and still came out with the same mistake. My sincere comment on this, I just feel lost when I look at this study. The more we dwell in it, the more it confuse us. That's why I love Quranic studies compared to these kind of things. Because I am familiar with it compared to these thesis mesis political science studies nih. Then the dateline for me to resend it to supervisor is at 23rd of December 2011. I need to check the calender as well to make sure that I am alert. She had earlier mentioned that I should see her by 9th December so I would take this as earlier alert for me.   

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I don't blame the supervisor at all on this matter and I think it is wrong to blame anyone! I guess it is better to comply within the guidelines and comments given. She had been generous enough in enlightening me with the guidelines and repeating them again. 

I had also talked with my colleague, Wenpei. She also has the same problem. We had also avoided our colleagues like Siva because we do not want them to know what happened to us. Further, what can they do to help us other than just discuss it and later we still have to deal it with ourselves? Yesterday, Wenpei also sent me messages saying that she's so disturbed with the study and classes. Frankly we think that we're not suitable to study European studies and I don't really like this studies on policies and administration either because it is so complicated and I think I should earlier change to research mode of Social Development, Asian Studies or doing MBA because MBA needs no research but it's too late to be sorry. We are reading on something which does not represent us but representing others and we have to follow their (Europeans) head and not our own head. I read many traditional administration system sources as well like Hindu-Buddhism system of administration (half-feudal system of traditional court) but it's not difficult like modern European ones because they work with values which we could understand here though I am a Muslim.  

I just said to miss Wenpei yesterday next week she better go for Guanyin temple and pray or chanting Heart Sutra if she feels so annoyed. I also tried to meditate and trying chanting dzikr remembering Allah but when we are nervous it is very difficult to regain tranquility. Ya Allah, guide me how should I encounter these? I feel like throwing out blood when I look at those stuffs for this research. We also have to encounter this repeating class : (

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Master Thesis: First Chapter Sent

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah


Quite relieved after I had sent the file which consists my first chapter of the research. About what will happen in the next, I don't care. I just care that a burden had been lifted. First of all, I thank You, my Lord. Although, I am an evil unworthy creature but You still are Merciful and helping me while I am alone without anyone to help me with advise. 

It feels different when we are doing our further degree because we tend to be more different from others. We have to do everything on our own and once a while consulting supervisors. Luckily Azren had helped me a lot with contacts in Women Development Research Center where my supervisor is also a vice director in the center. I must thank Azren and wishing him luck too. I can't mingle around with degree students anymore perhaps because of the level of thought had shifted to be different. I think it's not because I am unfriendly as I can be very very friendly. 

My third sister called me yesterday telling me that she's interested to further into a master degree. Guess what? I'll be the victim again to supervise her beside her lecturers and supervisor. Hurmm, let's see if I wanted to burden my head with unnecessary things again. 

Here are some documents that I have in order to finish my first chapter. I still need to do some data analyzing and dividing the research into chapters and by plan it should be finished around March 2011. I had been talking to my colleague which is miss Wenpei in the class where both of us stuck in, we are so unfortunate and having to pay the sentence. Each time we received email, calls, or messages related to the studies and research center, we would feel nauseated and feeling like being punched at the stomach.

Urmm, these are documents that I used while browsing here and there, typing up and down contents of the research for the first chapter...

These are 'some' proposals which had been rejected. I had worked hard for each proposal and consulting many lecturers even those from outside of my course, no kidding. Each time being rejected, I felt my heart broken and wanted to burst out of tear because I thought that I had done thing recklessly. It also affects worship to Him. I feel sad more. Of course I never show my sadness to people and I always trying to hide my sadness. Sometimes it might also appear at my face and I would try to avoid people I know to make sure they won't be affected.

The first book given to us by a Singaporean representative of the European Union, I can't remember his last name. He's a Singaporean Chinese who had been awarded with European citizenship. He said he's a Belgique, lol. I am not crazed to be an European at all and that makes me laugh in my heart when a fellow Asian calling themselves according to European nation-state identification. I wanted to be a Bhutanese or a Himalayan. Wish everyone happy with whatever they like, haha.

These are borrowed from library. One is about racism studies and one is about multiculturalism in few countries for example Australia, Britain, and Malaysia.

I hate looking at books piled together, it makes me dole on which one should I read first : (

Recording the document. We must be neat with whatever sources that we have. Muslims should also study about Western thought and we should not just talk about the danger of this matter or that matter without checking them through academic light isn't it? We need to move with our journals and "studies" about how stinky is Western civilization too, just like they demonize everyone in this world, let see how they feel when people look down on them with false accusations and generalizations, hahaha... Jahat...

The problem with academic journals written by western scholars is that, they use boastful words and concepts yang entah apa-apa so we need dictionaries and thesaurus. Thesaurus is also useful for everyone to substitute words which had been repeatedly used by other writers so our works will be looking like a new one although most of them are just quotes in the literature review. This is how social studies students write thesis. Sometimes we have problem with Malay so we use Chinese dictionary too. We have to translate some portion into the language. I don't know how Science stream students study, I think they are more clever, intelligent and smarter than us. 

My cousin brother is getting married today where he is doing the 'aqad an-nikah (contract for marriage) in Jitra. I don't want to be there and it's not because I am envious of him getting married at the same age as me. I hate questions from "relatives" about when would I be a married man. I have many things to do rather than entertaining those questions of makcik makcik or pakcik pakcik. I don't even think of marriage nor having a family and I don't have any girlfriend because my job is to serve Him not to play around. When my job is finished I have no significance on the earth, then I should see Him. I also think about Resurrection and now I am living in the period near doomsday. So, I don't care about having children to inherit me or not. My vow is to follow the commandment of the God, and making everyone who made soul vow with Him around me doing the same. I am not living to fulfill any desire or to have pleasure. I am just living because I obey Him. If not because of His order, I won't be a living creature. I wanted to be just wind or soil or anything which people don't have to see me. If people wanted to get married, go on. I support everyone. Just don't bother me. I am not doing anything because I follow anyone, traditions or anything blindly. I am not that kind of person. Even last time when people forced me to study Islamic studies, I myself pulled myself out by diverting to Buddhism and its practice.

Arghh, I feel like I wanted to fly down from the mountain or retreat into the forest. My soul is like being held at my chest while it doesn't want to be strangled there. I just want to see the God : ( Sometimes, I am also listening to Kunga Puntchok while i feel tensed. He's a Tibetan singer who sings about motherland but I don't speak nor understand Tibetan, hahaha. People in exile are always like that. I also think he has a nice hairstyle and last time I tried to do my hair just like his hair but my hair is not of Oriental style, its more to Indian curly style : ( 

Tomorrow, I have to check the tooth at the clinic at 9:00 a.m sharp! On 14th of November, we have mid-semester examination for that stuck paper.

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!

Thursday, 13 October 2011

Our Thesis Follow Up: Multiculturalism Germany Example

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

 Our pride, Europe

This is actually the topic that I had chosen for my thesis, not really specific but this is the issue. I don't know why it slipped out of my mind when we were in research methodologies class and proposing this for my thesis last semesters. They said that this topic must find any loophole in other researches if I wanted to go on with it since this topic perhaps already being discussed in other places. Isn't mini-thesis means that we also try to understand certain things and not only finding loopholes of other researches? I do not know what to study for the EU as they said that the EU is actually the most 'magnificent' invention of human in Europe over the century. Dok perasan tang tu jah la hangpa, noh...When we talk about multiculturalism, it must be related to Muslim communities within Europe and most of them are Third National Country nationals or migrants. Either they worked in labor sectors or running their own business. And some of them were nationals of European Union member states' colonies such as from Algeria, India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Morocco and others.

In the case of Britain, I just don't understand because they were our colonizer in certain states and protector empire for few states during their glorious of the so-called the "Great Britain" period. And the fact that they ran away like chickens after being attacked by the Japanese around 1941 make me feel not attracted to Britain or European at all. They had bombed several places in 'scorched earth operation' and killed Indian migrant workers in the estates before they left and make people lived in misery with their selfishness as when Imperial Japanese Army came, those sources of industries were already bombed. People who conquer and plunder others are just the same terrorists and now they are finding many ways to put the insult to Allah (the God) Who is the Merciful Lord of the universe who never have to conquer the universe because the Dominion is with Him. Just because last time media did not published widely that they were terrorists and thieves, does not mean that people are stupid. And the notions like natives were lazy ass, uncivilized, and others should never being the reason for people to plunder others and being thieves. Beware of language of diplomacy, rules, regulation, and legislation brethren. Those 'snakes' in the West are good at it and look at how they did to Pulau Pinang. This is not to teach enmity but we have to be careful with 'snakes' who thinks that they are so 'civilized' from the first world. To be recognized by the first world standard, we have to be thieves, terrorists, and colonizers... rupanya : )

Now back to the topic, when talking about multiculturalism, Britain was the one who proposed us to be a multicultural 'new' nation after they were 'forced' to release their colonies abroad. Our Sultanate of Kedah (1136-now) was also "forced" to be apart of "Malayan Union" (1946-1948) while we should have our own sovereignty over our own territory, and our people had fought two great Empires of the Northern mainland who were the Siam and the Burma to maintain our sovereignty and freedom whether in term of diplomacy or in term of warfare. That is why we are so proud of our state and sultanate no matter if we are Kedahan Malay, Kedahan Hybrid Arabs, Kedahan Arabs, Kedahan Chinese, Kedahan Siamese, Kedahan Indians, Muslims or Buddhists. For me, I don't care about Europe nor Caucasoid faces their poops are just as stinky as others. Our modest state is enough and more beautiful than Europe. We don't have to be the same like others to be accepted nor being economically advanced like those European countries terhegeh-hegeh to be accepted within the European Union. We have the God to help us with our standard and in exam I can't write like this. Takut some lecturers sentap because in 'academic' the God must be left out and forgotten... hahaha. I can't forget Allah (the God). He is my Protector and the One who Shield me from ignorance. 

Later the "Malayan Union" was changed to the Federation of Malayan Peninsula (1948-1963) under Centralized-Federalism system where we have to nod our head to the Federated States and Federal Constitution who were earlier apart of British Malaya and with the inclusion of Northern Borneo States, we are now known as Malaysia since 1963. Now comes to question whether Malaysia was colonized or not by Prof. Zainal Kling? Where is 1957, the 31st of August where Tunku Abdul Rahman, Tun Sambanthan the Ceylonese, and Tun Tan Cheng Lock the Baba Malacca together harmoniously kissing Her Highness Queen's knees for independence as it could not be 'postponed' anymore??? I had watched the video tape from our video archives during our transcription class session while I was a first degree student. Basically I know what Tunku Abdul Rahman talked about. 

You, politicians may deceive my mum or dad or my grandparents. Maybe they had forgotten or perhaps being manipulated but I am not an easy target for mind manipulation. I don't just follow people but I made researches and questions. That's why in certain part of my life, I was a Buddhist and I don't simply becoming a Muslim now because I follow my ancestral religion or customs, popularity or simply because I wanted to be recognized by my religion status. I made up my mind to choose Islam before formally saying the faith proclamation again asking the God and angels to be my witness and performing penance during circumambulation of Ka'abah during Hajj. It is not easy since I actually had previously having this thought to run away from my house and being a monk, joining Sangha society in monastery. When I failed exams and can't befit in society, I tried to take my own life. What for if we just being known to certain religion status and then we do not practice the religion nor fear the God. We must do everything only for the God not for ourselves nor for other things : ) I don't feel any hatred to Christians nor Jews at all. If they sincerely love Jesus Christ, go on... If they sincerely love Ha-Shem (the Name), go on... They have my support. If they just using religion for the sake of this hideous world and enmity, I pray for anathematization of the God on everyone. Our Lord is the same God, just the matter of concept if it becomes different : )    

From videos posted by Europeans or perhaps European wannabes who knows, it says that Multiculturalism is totally failed and not partly failed. There are some excerpts of speeches by Angela Merkel, David Cameron and Sarkozy. In her speech regarding multikulti concept where people could live side-by-side did not work. She said that immigrants need to integrate more and learn German. Does it mean that they have to leave their religion, their faith, values within their ancestral lineage other than languages and culture to comply within racist Germans? When the French came by to Asia, they said that people in Asia must follow their culture. When British officials entered Burmese palace, they had refused to take off their shoes and bowing to the king respecting local customs and tradition. Everybody must follow their values, but they refused to follow others' values even when they are in others' territory. What kind of human are they? This earth is the belonging of the God, not of anyone's dad and the God is not like European human dad. 

There are also comments that I read regarding Islam is not a race, so it is not wrong to hate Islam by irresponsible racists and I guess they must have failed their school that make them working in low-class stores and lamenting their life for their intelligence. Islam is not a race is true. But those who profess Islam as their Path are nations. We are of different nations. Muslim nations are those who profess Islam no matter they are black, white, yellow, caucasoid, or mongoloid. In Britain, those Muslims in majority there are Pakistanis, Bangladeshis and Indians of South Asia continent. In France, those Muslims are from North Africa and perhaps some are Arabic speaking Muslims from Middle East. In Germany, those Muslims are in majority Turkish speaking people. In Caucasus, they are White and Mongol Muslims. In Africa, they are African Muslims. Beside being Muslims, they have their own values, customs which predates their reversion to the Path and thoughts too as Islam is not a rigid religion. Even in Malaysia, we have Muslims by ancestral lineage since few centuries ago. They are our  Malay compatriots and they think of Islam like Europeans think of Christianity, as customs and not about spirituality and sincere devotion to the God anymore. It is for political survival and bringing people into disunity for the sake of politicians or party interests.  

Merkel further said in a gathering of younger members of her conservative Christian Democratic Union (CDU) party that at "the beginning of the 60s, Germany called the foreign workers to come into Germany and now those migrant workers live in the country. Germans had ridiculed ourselves for a while and think that they won't stay but will be gone after the development is done but it is not reality. Multicultural society and to live side by side and to enjoy each other... has failed, utterly failed." 

Now my comment, why do you people called these foreign workers to work in your magnificent countries and territories? Why don't you just build up your own country with European and German low-class workers? This is also a lesson to our country and people in our country could also see this and don't just blame foreign workers. Look at how politicians did to the country and later we scratched each other faces and treating others like sub-humans.

However, in her speech in Potsdam, the chancellor made clear that immigrants were welcomed in Germany. She specifically referred to recent comments by German President, Christian Wulff. Christian Wulff said that "Islam was part of Germany," like Christianity and Judaism. In her response to this speech, Merkel said: "We should not be a country either which gives the impression to the outside world that those who don't speak German immediately or who were not raised speaking German are not welcomed here."

According to Stephen Evans analysis for BBC News in Berlin, he said that Angela Merkel took pains to say immigrants are welcomed. The words "utterly failed" are very strong, but there lies some nuanced messages about the need for immigrants in a country who needs skilled labor. She's pitching it very carefully with important elections coming up in the spring according to BBC News report on 17 October 2010. According to this analysis, it is important to check the tone of the speech and from this analysis it says that the chancellor basically saying that Germany needs immigrants but immigrants need to do something to get into the society. 

I had also read news about the late Marwa el-Sherbini being stabbed to death by a racist German settler who came from Russia. May Allah bless her soul and protect her son. Is el-Sherbini a low class labor? I thought that her level of education is higher than of the psycho-stabber murderer. I am sorry, Europeans. I don't mean to look down on you people in general but some of you people have arrogant attitude which made me feel nauseated because those level of higher civilization is not according to your standard for me. The level of civilization lies at the God and morality teachings. Europe is no different to Nigeria or Afghanistan who bombs Bamiyan sandstone statue of Dipangkara Buddha. I mean it is in term of mentality when I look at those politician supporters. I was so outraged too last time because of Taleban had bombed the statue of one of my teacher and each time some Muslims compatriot talked about this issue I felt like I wanted to kick their ass and I was so pissed off. This is before my repentance to the Path of Abraham a.s. Dipangkara Buddha was the previous Buddha before Buddha Gautama and before Dipangkara, there was Saranangkara Buddha.   

Lets look at Gert Wildeers (his hairstyle and hair color is so ugly) response over Merkel speech regarding Multiculturalism issue... He mentioned that: "Mrs Merkel said that the Multiculturalism societies has completely failed. Not 'partly failed' but 'completely failed' and it sure means something when she says that! The most important politician, a Christian Democrat in Europe's most important country. Germany breaks the taboo and tells it as it is. She states what millions of people think. Statements for which you would stand trial in the Netherlands are uttered freely by the leading Christian Democrats in Germany. Where they are now taking the lead when it comes to criticism of Islam! I would like to take the time to address Mrs Merkel by saying, Mrs Merkel, you are right when it comes to multicultural society! Mr. Chairman, there is a hope. The political landscape is changing everywhere in Europe. Nothing can stop it!"  

While for Britain, we have David Cameron speech: "We adopted state-multiculturalism, we encouraged different cultures to live separate life apart from each other and apart from the mainstream. We failed to provide the vision of society to which they wanted to belong. We have even tolerated this segregated communities behaving in ways which runs completely counter to our value." 

Now my questions, what is British value? How does value being defined in Britain and in Europe? Should practical Muslims in Europe be like Christians who ridicule Jesus Christ and his noble mother, Maryam al-'Adzraa (Mary the Virgin)? Separating Divine way from their life in term of secularism or joining night bars and being drunk idiots who crashed cars during Sunday nights? Or is it the fear that they are not patriotic to their country such as Britain?  Fear of bombings? How should Britain do in order to curb this? Is it by being cowards or by patronizing Islamic teachings and providing trainings for Islamic religious teachers who came from abroad within local British framework?

In Asia, we are different from you people in Europe. Our sultanate was previously a Hindu kingdom with Hindu-Buddhism values. Even I am a descendent of migrant people who came by 300 years ago still could receive the impact of older values of the land and neighboring lands. The sultanate had accepted the teaching of Islam around 10th century and the king himself together with royal family had patronized the propagation of His Words and Divine Way of life across his country. We descendents of migrant people are the most loyal people toward our sultanate and we love our native brothers and sisters. We love our language which is Kedah Malay and we worked hard to preserve Kedah Malay within Islamic values. I am also encouraging other Muslim nations to preserve their culture and customs through Divine Islamic framework. We do not need secularism here to be united but we have the God as the One who unite us. Many of hybrid Arabs whom fathers were Arabs and mothers were local women or of other ethnicity had fought the Siam empire in order to protect the kingdom from being absorbed into the empire. The villages opened around Alor Setar capital of our sultanate and state some of them were villages of Arabs under royal decree and I had made few checks with museums, elders and the people around. Nevertheless we could still survive in form of a state in a new country though we are controlled by centralized-federalism. Even in term of special privileges of natives, we do not really take it though we are eligible according to our state law. We passed it to beloved native brothers and sisters and even non-peninsular people from other neighboring country like Indonesia are treated even better than us in our own country. Why should we be envious to people when we are lazy like spoiled European youths who only thinks of fun in this short life?

There are some debates about immigration regarding this issue of Multiculturalism. Correspondents said that Merkel faces pressure from within Christian Democrat and its allies to take a tougher stance and require immigrants to do more to adapt to German society. How could I apply this to my thesis regarding Britain? Maybe I should also see how the debate goes on with David Cameron and other anti-immigration groups in Britain. 

Horst Seehofer, the leader of the CDU Bavarian sister party, the CSU said that: "It was obvious that immigrants from different cultures like Turkey and Arab countries, all in all, find it harder to integrate. Multikulti is dead." 

The chancellor held talks with Turkish Prime Minister around October 2010, Mr. Erdogan in which these leaders pledged to do more to improve the often poor integration record of Germany's estimated 2.5 million strong Turkish community. The debate first was heated up in August of 2010 when Thilo Sarrazin, a senior official at Germany's Central Bank said that: "No immigrant group other than Muslims is so strongly connected with claims on the welfare state and crime." Sarrazin has since resigned. His name is also Sarrazin (Saracen)... Such recent strong anti-immigration feelings from mainstream politicians came amid an anger in Germany about high unemployment, even if the economy is growing faster than those of its rivals. This is what correspondent said in their opinion. There is also seems to be a new strident tone in the country, perhaps leading to less reticence about no-go-areas of the past.   

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!

Sunday, 11 September 2011

Third Sis Final Thesis

Assalamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah!


Allah............ I am assisting third sister doing her assignment which appears to be her final thesis. She is quite incapable in writing or reading as she had left her school since whoever knows. She is good in practical terms as she have many years experience working as a trained nurse. I can't deny that since I see it myself. I had refused to help her because I would have to think for her besides reading all the stuffs which are not related to my current studies while she is the one who is doing the study. It makes my brain heavy with piles of stuffs and I feel sorry for my brain. But she knows my weakness. She will cry like our four years old nephew and I will surrender to her sad face. So, if anyone saying that a Muslim is generally a violent person, think again. I am a Muslim, instead I am the one who is bullied by other Muslims or non-Muslims. Just try to avoid generalizing. It is not an academic way but a way of people who never go to school who looks everything at surface value.

Even my second sister who is an aggressive lady keep blasting me when she misinterpret patience as a sign of weakness and sometimes she would say that I am an effortless person. She never fails in her life as she is aggressive and ego though she is not a child pampered at home as our dad was actually a hot-tempered man, as fierce as a lion. She will learn about patience bit by bit no worry though she's older than me. Anyway, nobody at home knows that I am here writing my life journey and I will never reveal it to anyone close to me, hahaha. Perhaps being aggressive is what second sister got from her observation of Westerners and from the training she got at home. Most of sisters at home said that dad and mum prefers me but I never feel anything like that. They just never saw me being beaten with pvc pipes or caned when I was naughty as they were at hostels in our motherland in the northern state. They don't even know I tried to lower parents burden by not making them feel worried about me even when I am sick. They don't know what happened at home or anything happened in myself. 

Second sisters had learned French. Well, she was determined to learn it after she saw me taking interpretation and translation useless degree. I think she is just following the trend when last time she said I was following the trend too after I decided to stop from religious studies. Last time one of our uncle had also suggested her for religious studies but she refused as she thinks it has no future. Well, she is right and everyone is right. Religion is for something which is uncertain. We don't see the God with our eyes nor anything like the hereafter. Those are just prophecies in scriptures by most of all, ancient prophets especially prophet Muhammad s.a.w, an orphan who didn't go to school. She was an engineering student who deals with formulas and learned how to deal with metals (manufacturing). Only if second sis analyzes that European countries had been in wars for their aggressiveness to get coal and mines, what makes the Europeans exploring the East which was out of the map in their ignorant mind for spices and colonial lands through pirate companies or reading about ancient wars for power in Indian epics such as Mahabharata.  

So, let us benefit from whatever that we are doing so that we won't feel tortured. Take everything as a challenge for us to properly overcome which also helps us to improve our selves in order to see the God. When we talk about nursing, we actually are talking about nursing practices and also public health. As nurses are people who assists doctors, their tasks and research is more to improving their practices, equipping themselves with proper knowledge and drafting related policies for nursing students. 

In Malaysia, nurses are not well appreciated like in European countries say, the UK. I get to know about this when I read the notes that third sister provides me from her lectures and helping her to understand her notes. I did some comparison for her and she had also worked in Federal Territory hospital so she tells me what to jot down. She thinks that she is bad with English and that I get to master a foreign language because I am a genius. During Eid, pak su Omar which is my uncle said the same thing and I do not like to hear that. That is silly... I have to memorize dictionaries and that is not something to be considered as genius. Only after that I've got good grades for my language papers. There are many people doing that, maybe being assumed as crazy but still it is normal. I have no time to properly memorize physics formulas or understand them as classes in Malaysian school are packed with students. Each class may have 30+ students and we cannot choose whatever that we want to study. We only focus to pass the examination based on whatever is chosen for us by the school and education system but not to understand the philosophies and the usage of things that we learned. In Europe or the US, perhaps a student may choose to learn in classes that they want. I know this from Marlin who had once stayed at our house for his exchange program which Mahathir Lokman had participated when his dad was an ambassador. Frankly, I hate the exchange program and I am not a fan of Mr. Lokman. Nothing in this world impress me. I am just impressed with the God.

Marlin got A for his O-Level (I don't know what they call that in Germany), but what I see, he does not display any genius traits at all and he was chosen to be apart of a program which needs interview to judge whether a student deserves to be sent with government fund to other countries to be a little ambassador, hahaha. All he cares is about his hair and how he looks like since most Malaysian kids would show their enthusiasm in Caucasians' look, and it creates a kind of narcissism for an immature young Caucasian kid -puke-

I think our friends in Saudi Arabia favor Caucasians so much too though they said that anything related to non-national stuffs must be banned. Where did I get this view? I had been in pilgrimage to Holy Mecca, and I had the same experience like Imam Hu Songshan from Gansu of China. That makes me feel more close to the Chinese (China) or maybe more to Japanese though I don't look like one. Third sister works there in Saudi Arabia too. She never lies about what she feels and sees and she does not like Caucasians because East Asians like us always experienced encountering Caucasians (it includes those in Asia like from Iran or Mid East, Scandinavian territories or in the American continent) love to find ways to enslave others when we tolerate them. They talk a lot and good in articulation but poor in practices, easily pampered. This is what we observe, but it does not apply to every Caucasians since Caucasians are humans like others. I had also seen polite Caucasians in a Japanese Education Fair in Mid Valley Kuala Lumpur. So, it is more to human-nature, which is influenced by the environment where they live and turns out to be a habit inherited to children by generations. 

The thesis I am helping third sister to do is about nursing role in preventing risk factors in heart disease. So, basically it is about nurses roles in helping patience to prevent the risk factors of the particular disease. It is not to cure it as risk factors may increase due to age and environment or may be decreased through health care and preventive care. We also have to check on the evidence-based practices where nurses will gain their knowledge on how to treat patients through their experience and professionally going through the environment around them in their working place. I would still demand her to keep all of the records that she has and read again whatever that I had listed for her.

I personally hate being a bookworm, I mean reading stuffs which makes my head feels heavy. I read comics a lot when I was a young kid until I have to wear glasses but I am not a person who reads stuffs full with writings like journals or articles. I hate writings too and I don't know why people around me look at me like some kind of academician.  We have five chapters to finish up, it begins with introduction with some brief things related to objectives of the study. The second chapter deals with the possible risk factors which could affect a certain group of people. The third chapter deals with policies and plans framed by the councils in a certain country and the fourth chapter is the discussion whether those policies and plans are practical or not. The last chapter is the conclusion.

Another eight days to polish up the thesis while the due date is in 19th of September 2011. I am not doing editing anymore but designing an immediate thesis for others while my own thesis is of no where. I really hope that third sister read all of the stuffs given though she is very busy. She paid the registrations for her study and not for me so it must benefit her and not me!

Arghhh dear Lord, it is painful at my back and chest :'( I sit for long hours in front of the computer for her. I wish her and other sisters happiness though they always envious to me and envious to each other in which I wonder what for they to envy? I am just a hapless guy who has nothing to be proud of and is of no potential to be anything better, and has no possession. I just love all of my family members equally and I treat everyone equally according to their level of life. I appreciate everything including ants, trees, natures and I understand their life when human threaten them. Women and human-being in general are sometimes complicated to understand. Through social studies, I found that it is a tough job to think about the society including it structures and systems which includes those witless ideologies.

Hopefully He gives me some chance to get closer to Him and knowing Him more while I am alive in this ephemeral world. I could never have any second chance to clean myself from my sins of losing hope in Him if He takes away my life though life is torturing. I wish everyone to appreciate their life, not to waste their life with non-beneficial matters. Do physical exercise always, go for recreational and release your tense together with your friends or family. Have nice, delicious, clean, healthy and halal diets for your future. Don't be like me who eats vegetables and crappy meals to cut the cost. I just try not to burden others including the government but it is not good for my self. I apologize to everyone for being a burden in the world. I didn't mean to be a burden and never ask for it...

Sealed with salawat and prayers for peace, mercy, and love, amin! 

Sunday, 2 January 2011

Upcoming Research Proposal

Assalaamu'alaikum w rahmatullah!!!

First of all, I pray that no one will never ever encounter troubles like I have in these first few weeks. Nobody deserves it. The day for my mini-thesis for master degree presentation is almost close. It will be in January 11th (Safar 7th) and I will have to present them twice. The presentation on 11th is only the beginning while I still have time to amend the features in my research if I passed it. But it would be a great trouble and sinful for me if I can't get through it because I will feel guilty to Allah in the first place for humiliating His sacred trust and later to both of my parents and to myself.

Frankly speaking, I have no idea on what should I do. I had been thinking and doing my readings on what to do since last semester but I didn't get any clue about this so-called Union. European Union studies looks like a concrete studies with its theoretical framework although it eveloves according to time. Besides, I have to deal with research questions or problem statements and data analysis methods. It is quite tough for a beginner like me because I was a translation and interpretation student from the School of Humanity majoring in Malay and English. Not a Political Science nor from any Social Science background. I may have ample knowledge about the translation of Quran or Bible into English or Malay, those methods used in interpreting sentences or translating texts and whom are the famous translator like Nida or orator like Cicero. But for political theories or administrative field, ana zero (I am zero) like in a Moroccan saying.

Many would think that why am I taking a field which I am not familiar with for further degree. The reason is that I wanted to change my course. I had few bitter experience with my past lecturer. It is not because I have problems with them but it is regarding principles. Also, translation and interpretation especially of Malay and English is not so prominent in Malaysia. Well, everyone speaks English well or at least could understand that so according to economic principle, no necessity, no service. So, I think that changing the course in the same university would be a beginning for a new future but it is not as easy as I thought. May Allah forgive us our past sins, and may Allah forgive me for being selfish.

Last Friday night, after my Sibtis-Salaam (the peaceful Saturday, the time to remember Allah and reciting holy verses from holy Quran as a service to souls of deceased brothers, sisters, and ancestors). I had been thinking of doing a research about the relationship between China and European Union in political and economic term but then I checked the title with my respective classmate through a message. She said that she's planning to do the same topic, so I have to change to other topic and theme because I had just gotten the idea while she had planned to do that since the whole last semester. Anyway, I am happy for her and I am sure that I won't take away her happiness although I feel that my heart was like going to jump out of my chest after knowing that I have to change my topic.

For a moment I sat down on the floor to respect twice holy times and lamenting myself for being a useless guy. 

This verse from Surah Maryam verse 23 comes out of my mind. It reminds me that the torments and the tests which Maryam, the mother of prophet 'Isa (as) had received  and experienced are heavier than mine, she was alone and nobody to share with her sorrow: "And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm-tree: she cried (in anguish to herself), oh dear!! Would that I had died before this! Would I had been a thing forgotten and out of sight!"

I did have the same thought as what had been told in the surah. I feel that I am useless at that time where I can't think of nothing. I just feel that I have to disappear from others sight or not even born in this world. But as to say, Maryam is strong woman. If she is a woman, then, why should I be weaker than her? She had to suddenly pregnant and receiving this heavy task from Allah SWT. This thesis is nothing compared to what she had gone through, nothing at all.May Allah bless Maryam al-'Adzraa'.   

And suddenly an inspiration came out to me. I have got an idea. I will do some humble service to Muslim nation and community. The first principle that should always be in our mind is, no selfishness! Sacrifice ourselves for others, for Allah path and for the service of Allah. Nothing to lose in this world, the glory appearance of Allah is worthy than anything in this "dream." 

I would do a research on something about law, human rights, discrimination, and Islamophobe in Europe. Last time I had read something about the late Marwa el-Sherbini (may Allah be merciful to her soul). She is an Egyptian born pharmacist and most of all, a poor Muslim sister. She was stabbed to death by a Russian immigrant in the court during a court proceeding. She was verbally insulted by the guy in a small quarrel in a park in Dreisden. Or I might talk about the ban of Burqa or Niqab in Europe and how does it affect the diversity of Europe, is it parallel with their so-called motto unity in diversity or whether it is just a rhetoric? 

Subhanallah!!! There are actually many issues that we could talk and elaborate on concerning the modern Europe. I thought that I can't relate it with the old Europe before WWII and I am going to stuck in this varsity forever or being kicked out for not completing my degree and facing humiliation before Allah.

For now, I will follow the advice of a lecturer from research methodology class. Doing some reading, and I will try to stay calm insyaa-Allah although only Allah knows the turbulence in my heart.

May Allah forgive us our daily sins forgiving my false speech,  but guiding me to His true path. Grant us serenity and may His glory strucks obstacles in our way to see Him. Allah bless our holy prophet Muhammad (saw), Allah bless his family, and Allah please bless all of his companions, his disciples, and his followers the faithful Muslims, Ameeen!!!! 
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