Hurrrm, this morning I had just met my supervisor, Dr. Noraida. She said that nothing much changed in the first part. I should repair the first part and put everything that they said in the introduction part. Actually, the more I look at the thesis the more I feel confused because everyday I just wandering in front of the computer looking at the thesis and checking what should I do. I had done the proposal for the thesis many times since last semesters and each time it should be amended according to different lecturers who advised us on research methodologies. I don't like to sit at the computer.
How do I feel jah? Urmmm just feel like I wanted to cry. I would sincerely admit... I feel like I wanted to cry in the bus while returning to my room. If I am a woman I guess I would just cry in front of people, hahahahahaha. So, being both man and woman actually is not easy. We have our own differences and problems in life. I feel my neck being tied with unnecessary ropes. I actually had made vow to study religious sciences and returning to my responsibility but this world is pushing me aside the way. I send text messages also to wrong people, so humiliating. It's because I feel so annoyed and my head think about many things. Sometimes I also feel like wanted to retreat, chap ye (tidy up things), return home, finding a job with my first degree certificate again and when I free just meditate in masjids or traveling around to perform da'awa on myself. If I saved enough money, I wanted to to go to some countries in Middle East or South Asia and stay there waiting for my "time" to come. Sometimes I'm quite pessimistic with future, lol. And sometimes I could only see darkness where I see myself in shroud cloth down the ground...
Guidelines and Comments Today
What did she advise me to do?
On the background or introduction part it should be a brief one. It must be from general to specific introduction of the issue. I didn't change much in this part and it seems like the same with the previous one that I did. It's actually my fault, I didn't put the record in orderly manner. I have piles of paper here and it's all over the places. I told so at the supervisor but she thought that I tried to blame her, hahaha. For example, if I wanted to choose immigration policy, what is the relationship of UK in position of immigration and Muslim issue in UK? The program is about European Union so it must be related to the Union and not about a specific member state of the Union. If we talk about this Union everything must be about policy, politics, administration, legal system and guidelines from the treaties agreed by European Union member states.
Problem Statement Part
I should emphasize on issue chosen to be studied. Whether it is within the context of the policy, how to connect the problem of the immigration issue with the study of muslims in Europe with the UK as the case study? In problem statement, I should question myself, what is the reason to study? If it is about Muslim migrants, what are the reason behind this? What is the problem regarding Muslim migrants in the UK? The problem here is that whether the third and second generation of Muslim migrants are considered as migrants?
On the other hand, I had also put in the study about the notion of multiculturalism. I need to differentiate the study. Whether it is about the current population of Muslim in UK or about Muslim migrants? If I choose this type of social study, I need to make up my mind and choose because it makes my study obscure. When I change this, I must also change the objective as well as research questions.
The term manipulation of data is not a suitable term to describe a method used in a research. It is more to a process. It is not an explanation of the method used. If I am going to do historical research for example, what are the methods? Try to read something about this in order to get some ideas.
Where should I get my data sources? It means that what types of data that I am going to use for the research? In term of type of data sources, whether it is narrative types or people's opinion or academic theories?
Are the data came from the reports, debates, or narratives of famous figures? Those things on where to access the data such as from internet searching could be described in brief.
Justify also why I need to use secondary data? How will it provides result to my objective and inquiry?
Process in Analyzing Data
How about this process? How to sort them out? Qualitative process of analyzing the data? How to classify them into categories? How they are related and why they are related?
Significance of the Study
It must be totally changed according to what I choose in the background or introduction part.
I took it too long and still came out with the same mistake. My sincere comment on this, I just feel lost when I look at this study. The more we dwell in it, the more it confuse us. That's why I love Quranic studies compared to these kind of things. Because I am familiar with it compared to these thesis mesis political science studies nih. Then the dateline for me to resend it to supervisor is at 23rd of December 2011. I need to check the calender as well to make sure that I am alert. She had earlier mentioned that I should see her by 9th December so I would take this as earlier alert for me.
I don't blame the supervisor at all on this matter and I think it is wrong to blame anyone! I guess it is better to comply within the guidelines and comments given. She had been generous enough in enlightening me with the guidelines and repeating them again.
I had also talked with my colleague, Wenpei. She also has the same problem. We had also avoided our colleagues like Siva because we do not want them to know what happened to us. Further, what can they do to help us other than just discuss it and later we still have to deal it with ourselves? Yesterday, Wenpei also sent me messages saying that she's so disturbed with the study and classes. Frankly we think that we're not suitable to study European studies and I don't really like this studies on policies and administration either because it is so complicated and I think I should earlier change to research mode of Social Development, Asian Studies or doing MBA because MBA needs no research but it's too late to be sorry. We are reading on something which does not represent us but representing others and we have to follow their (Europeans) head and not our own head. I read many traditional administration system sources as well like Hindu-Buddhism system of administration (half-feudal system of traditional court) but it's not difficult like modern European ones because they work with values which we could understand here though I am a Muslim.
I just said to miss Wenpei yesterday next week she better go for Guanyin temple and pray or chanting Heart Sutra if she feels so annoyed. I also tried to meditate and trying chanting dzikr remembering Allah but when we are nervous it is very difficult to regain tranquility. Ya Allah, guide me how should I encounter these? I feel like throwing out blood when I look at those stuffs for this research. We also have to encounter this repeating class : (
Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!