Monday, 14 November 2011

Mid Term Test Done

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

Beautiful creation of the God. We always feeling envious at Northern hemisphere in term of beautiful plants even at their grass flowers. Guess where is this snapped? It's just at the side of Bukit Gambir road in Penang, hahahaha. I don't want any scholarship to France or Germany. My heart is not attracted to those things. I just want to see Him : )   

Thanks dear Lord, we had done with the annoying test. I had forgotten that I should be fasting today because of this test but never mind. I am just so glad that the test had gone though there are several other annoying matters to come after this. In this matter I would like to thank our brother in faith, brother Idris. May he and his family receive happiness and fortune in this life and hereafter for mercy and compassion to other creatures. I believe in brothers and sisters prayers could help everyone going through difficult times. I look at brothers and sisters prayers as the sign that they put importance of brotherhood and sisterhood as their priority. Prayers are our fort, prayers of those who had passed for their generations had also be the fort for the coming generations : )

I actually begin to believe this after maternal grandpa passed away. I had done many wrong things to him... (urmm, let me shed my tears first). After that, I would ask everyone to pray for me. I also talk with hidden creatures in my room or around me to pray for me to be forgiven if they believe in the God and the prophethood of Muhammad s.a.w. I am also afraid that I would hurt hidden "saints." Usually "hidden" saints do not show any difference to others. They appear to be the same like others. Sometimes they appear to be those whom we look down upon in case of my late grandpa. I listened to few tasawwuf angle lessons being introduced to me by Tabligh-e-Jama'at but actually those things are not new to me. I had already noticed that before I return to Islam after I faced the conflicts of aqeedah (creed) in myself where I questioned many things including my goal of life. This actually made me very sensitive with people and fellow creatures around. Sometimes I felt very guilty if I think I did something wrong to people with my face expression, with my speech, or if I made people feel humiliated if I had sometimes didn't notice them talking to me. I would like to first admit my weaknesses. I am a human-being and a creature of the God with flaws because only the God is flawless the Most Perfect. I apologize my sins and wrong-doing to everyone.

I had answered whatever I could remember from the text that I had read. Frankly, I just noticed that the lecturer had uploaded the articles and journals for tests' references only yesterday. I just downloaded them yesterday night and right away walked down to print them out. I thought of finding some acquaintances asking whether they've got printers with them and I would pay for the service. But I think back, no need such an act. I would be a burden to others. That's not our custom to burden others. We would try to survive until the last breath without harming others. I had always practice this since I was a young kid. In school during my childhood time, teachers and people around told me to try solving problems alone first. So now we are familiar with it. If we have any problem not only in studies, but also in daily life like illness and others, we would try to solve them ourselves first. 

Just before I answered the papers, I have to do some translation jobs translating points from articles and journals because words and sentences that they used are complicated. I made them easy and using Malay as the medium because I was a translation and interpretation student trained in both English and Malay. I managed to memorize few points and arguments through this way. Then I talked with auntie Roslin which is my elderly classmate because she doesn't know how to access to the portal where those stuffs are uploaded. To make things easier, I just walked down few minutes before the test began to print the articles for her at least she could pass her paper because this is her third time repeating the same paper. I understand the torment so I don't mind to sacrifice for others. I guess auntie Roslin is around 60's now but still in high spirit to acquire a master degree. She did encouraged me to apply for Erasmus Mundus and other scholarships offered but I turned down everything which came to me because I think it is just enough. I believe in the God as the central part of my life and if I die, I must also die because of Him. I don't need those papers for recognition on me anymore. I just need His forgiveness, His love and acceptance to free me from torments here and in hereafter. I need the knowledge to know Him and being aware about myself. It needs no paper recognition but practices and sacrifice to spread His Mercy and Love : )

There were three articles uploaded by the lecturer for us which are:

1. Ben Aston (2004) How useful are theories of integration to understanding the development of the EU? Politics of Governance: The European Union.
2. Laura Cram (1995) Policy-Making and the Integration Process - Implications for Integration Theory. Department of Government, University of Stratchclyde. UK.
3. Suha Atature (2008) The Historical Roots of European Union: Integration, Characteristics, and Responsibilities for the 21st Century. Vol. 7. No. 2. Political Science and International Relations Department, Yeditepe University, Turkey. 

There were three questions with sub-questions in them. We have to answer the first question as it is compulsory while the other two questions are elective questions which mean that we could choose either one of them. 

The first question is regarding sovereignty. I think the question more or less asking us about the impact of integration process on sovereignty in the European Union (EU) where it refers to the member states. 

Second question directly come from the paper written by Mr. Aston. It touches the theories of integration such as intergovernmentalism, neo-functionalism, and characteristics of those theories. What are the assumptions of those theories.

Third question directly come from Laura Cram paper where it talks about the impact of integration process on the policy making and integration process in the EU.

Basically, I just answered nonsense and trying to manipulate whatever that I have in my empty head. My head is not really empty but it has many other things including that I think classes are not suitable for old teenage like me anymore. After this I would be a 26 years old guy and His calling is also near and near. I don't want to see Him with humiliation but I want to see Him with His acceptance : (

Ya Allah.... 

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!

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