Showing posts with label universiti sains malaysia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label universiti sains malaysia. Show all posts

Monday, 9 April 2012

Lunch with Phd Student

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah


I had a lunch at Mamak Khaleel restaurant just near our hostel in Bukit Gambir here. I coincidentally bumped with the Chinese national Phd student at the elevator while walking down my sorry ass to the restaurant. We walked together to the restaurant because he wanted to have lunch too. He talks a lot with me and for the first time I found suitable person to talk in our level but he is a non-Muslim Han from Hebei. Again I had forgotten to ask his name which I always do to address people though name might not be important for some people.

He asked me about Sarawak state and its special rights in Malaysia. His friends actually planned to visit Sarawak for sightseeing. I am actually scared to be critical about the food at Indian Muslim restaurant to him because he might like the food-style but it seems that he also not comfortable with the food, hahahahaha. Urm, sorry lah mamak-mamak Penang, I am not going to call you people Malays. Malays are different people and our ancestors had long mingled with them. Even when some of our people calling themselves Malay in front of me, I would just frown my face to them and isolate them for lying. Allah creates them in an appearance of an Indian and why they are shy to admit that they're Indians? It is a sin to be an Indian? If these people are Malays, why do they eat curry all the time and selling Indian style food and not sambal belachan based food like Malays? Their Malays sounds Tamil in slang and they speak Tamil or Malayalam when no people around them and reading Tamil newspaper watching Tamil movies and listening to Tamil songs. Listening to Tamil Islamic lectures in radio and I know about this because I am also tuning to their radio channels though I don't understand their language. They marry South Indian Muslim ladies imported from there and some of them are still holding Indian passport as in the case in Federal Territory. These are not wrong for me and nobody will be commenting if these people don't over-reacting.  

We just discussed about Chinese community in Malaysia and I choose to speak in convenient simple English because some people might not also fluent in English and I am not talking in Chinese anymore. I don't tell him that I understand or speaking in Chinese too. It is enough with feeling down when I speak Chinese and Malays or non-Chinese around looking at me like an alien. I am also afraid I might using wrong words or perhaps using rigid Confucian style of speech with people or mixing up with Arabic terms which actually not good. His thesis is about Chinese Newspaper in Malaysia and he is curious to learn more about Chinese publishing in Malaysia which I think is quite an interesting and good topic too as compared to what I have to study. I asked him, do I look like a Chinese? I don't think I have a Chinese face. My eyes are not slant and I have double eyelids. Maybe my skin is a bit yellow but that is among the characteristic of our ethnicity. We are yellow Arabs as some Arabs are also yellow. Maybe I could pass for a Nepali or an urban Japanese but not a Chinese. Actually when Dora sister from Beijing in women studies center asked me whether I am a Chinese or not, I was like wtf??? Yea I speak Chinese also but I am not a Chinese, also not a Malay though speaking in Malay and sometimes wearing in their attire. 

He asked me further about our ethnicity and I just tell him we are more minority than Indian and Chinese immigrants. Some people might try to absorb us in the case of Malays or Indians. Last time in our state our people were quite rebellious and British master were afraid of our people. So, they might also ordering the rumah pasung (police station) suppressing our identity as to contain us. We also talked about pork, hahaha. In the beginning I was like, why do you have to apologize to me when talking about the pork??? For me as what I had been thinking, I had already being a "filthy" guy before. When I had once lose my faith to our faith, I had actually already consumed all of those things including the thing that he apologized to me when mentioning it. I hope brothers and sisters please do not judge me or anyone who encounter this kind of problem in life because I was ignorant and not patient at that time. I don't have time to feel myself as a "holy" man anymore. 

I just said to him, I am a young and progressive Arab descent guy. I am way more open than Malay guys or other pure Arabs though some of them might be playing around with girls behind their wife, groping young guy in case of homo-pedophiles, drinking, not performing daily obligatory salat or gambling and etc. I even went to temples and still is now going to Chinese or Buddhist temples but now with different intention. I do not pray there anymore. I just visit the temples and recite blessings for the inhabitants there or talking with people during temple festivals. If normal traditional Malay people looking at what I am doing now when I was alone perhaps they would fell down and stricken with epilepsy or assuming that I am from a deviant sect but I am actually now very orthodox and already changing to Salafi/Hanbali school of jurisprudence, hehehe. 

After he listened to my view only he feels comfortable to speak out, hahaha. I further said : "Just say out whatever you wanted to say to me or asking me about my view on society or politics here. About headscarves or purdah (hijab)? I already know what you are going to say. I was in your position before because last time I was not observant too although I was educated in Islamic schools and madrasah." He said in the beginning here he arrived in Penang, he said that he could not accept the scene here and the climate is extremely hot even hotter than Southern China. He said it is Chinese (Han) custom that when they have feasts, they would also serve pork. I am familiar with Chinese culture but I listen attentively to his explanation maybe I have other things missing or any difference between northern and southern Chinese culture. He said he saw sections for pork and other things in Tesco and it is very weird. He said they could actually be tolerant to Muslim but why not Muslim also be tolerant and having dinner together in the same place with them when they are having pork? It's not like they are going to thrust those pork-chop into their mouth because for him, he is aware about the 'customs' of Muslim. 

He said he does not like southern Chinese cuisine because their style of food in northern part is more of flour. They eat noodles and bread. After having their meals they usually would have hot soup and they do not drink cold drinks. I told him I am also not accustomed to rice. We are poor people in urban area. We usually take vegetarian foods or fishes but last time I was restricted from taking fish. In our house only few people take fish and its only restricted to scaled fish and not non-scaled fishes because they are haram (illegal). Usually those who consume fishes would have more well-build body but not us who only have vegetables. If we can't take vegetables now, we would be dying because we can't take other kind of food as much as vegetables. Penang mamaks do not eat vegetables and vegetables they cook is not fresh. I guess that is why they are lack of manner.    

I also asked him who is his roommate? Don't say to me the management office placed him with Chinese national too. He said unfortunately yes. He stays with a Chinese national master student. I told him, last time when I was an undergraduate, they had already placed local students of different races together in a room. For example, when I was in the first year, I already stayed with a Malaysian Chinese student but later they shifted that guy from the room because he is a non-Muslim and I am a Muslim. Actually I don't care much about whatever religion is my roommate to profess. I am also familiar with Chinese people as I mingled with both Malays and Chinese. 

My experience when I was a 19 years old Malaysian guy dear brothers and sisters, I went to a private school in Kuala Lumpur behind the Mahamariamman Hindu Temple at Central Market when I was about to take my A-Level after I returned from pilgrimage in Mecca. Every morning I took Metro bus after Fajar prayer services and I counted the prayer-beads and reciting maa'thurat by heart in the bus while the driver which I was familiar with is a Hindu, tuning to Hindu mantras in Sanskrit and Tamil to bless his morning according to his religion. When I went to washroom in the morning at my school also I could listen to Hindu temple bells ringing and the sound of trumpet from the temple just behind the school. My classmates in majority were Indians and they speak Tamil in the class. Few Chinese students and some Chinese students actually are of mixed parentage between Malay and Chinese so they speak in Cantonese in the class with other Chinese friends who also understand Chinese dialects. Malay and Christian students are minority in my class. Teachers who taught me Higher Malay and History papers are Indians. When I see some students especially in undergraduate level in my hostel, also others who are Muslim from countries like Indonesia I actually feel quite bottled up and contained. Because I can't be like them. I was already familiar in multicultural environment and seeing it as nothing peculiar or strange. I know countries like Indonesia also have people of different faith but the way they mingle with people is different because they only have one language policy but in Malaysia we are not like that.              

Both of us agree that it is a sad thing that students becoming not adventurous. How are they going to understand different customs or culture if they are separated according to religion, nationality, language differences, and etc? What if they like it to stay with people with differences with them or enjoy because they could get more benefit as what they assumed? Why not giving a try and be a man if they are men lar? As for me I am actually not afraid of these differences but I am afraid with judgmental people who actually are not religiously well-educated but simply because they mingle among "holy" congregation. I mingled with religious teachers always right now. I ask and sending emails to Shari'a officers and checking my jurisprudence school laws when I am going to do something. Before I stepped into a certain restaurant be it of Muslim or non-Muslim I will first looking at the cleanliness, the food served, the kind of people and many other criteria which actually denotes that I am very orthodox but I don't show it to people as we also listened to the kitab al-Hikam and al-Ghazali regarding the purification of heart. We must be clean both external and internal parts.   

And other thing is yea, we "bad-mouthing" mamaks, ahahhaa. I don't like mamaks just the same like Penang Chinese don't like them. I don't like them because they lies to people that they are Malay while their appearance and culture is obviously not. They are not grateful to Allah for creating them as they are, being Indian and Tamils. Some of them are manner less and speaking in impolite way to people. The one in our masjid here actually tries to approach me too but I teach him a lesson. Speak in a polite manner and make sure the sound of the voice is not harsh before greeting me or other people. If not I don't care about people status, older or younger, rich or poor whatever race they are. I will ignore them and assume them as not exist. 

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!

Wednesday, 16 November 2011

First Chapter Need Changes

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah


Hurrrm, this morning I had just met my supervisor, Dr. Noraida. She said that nothing much changed in the first part. I should repair the first part and put everything that they said in the introduction part. Actually, the more I look at the thesis the more I feel confused because everyday I just wandering in front of the computer looking at the thesis and checking what should I do. I had done the proposal for the thesis many times since last semesters and each time it should be amended according to different lecturers who advised us on research methodologies. I don't like to sit at the computer.  

How do I feel jah? Urmmm just feel like I wanted to cry. I would sincerely admit... I feel like I wanted to cry in the bus while returning to my room. If I am a woman I guess I would just cry in  front of people, hahahahahaha. So, being both man and woman actually is not easy. We have our own differences and problems in life. I feel my neck being tied with unnecessary ropes. I actually had made vow to study religious sciences and returning to my responsibility but this world is pushing me aside the way. I send text messages also to wrong people, so humiliating. It's because I feel so annoyed and my head think about many things. Sometimes I also feel like wanted to retreat, chap ye (tidy up things), return home, finding a job with my first degree certificate again and when I free just meditate in masjids or traveling around to perform da'awa on myself. If I saved enough money, I wanted to to go to some countries in Middle East or South Asia and stay there waiting for my "time" to come. Sometimes I'm quite pessimistic with future, lol. And sometimes I could only see darkness where I see myself in shroud cloth down the ground... 

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Guidelines and Comments Today

What did she advise me to do?

Background Part

On the background or introduction part it should be a brief one. It must be from general to specific introduction of the issue. I didn't change much in this part and it seems like the same with the previous one that I did. It's actually my fault, I didn't put the record in orderly manner. I have piles of paper here and it's all over the places. I told so at the supervisor but she thought that I tried to blame her, hahaha. For example, if I wanted to choose immigration policy, what is the relationship of UK in position of immigration and Muslim issue in UK? The program is about European Union so it must be related to the Union and not about a specific member state of the Union. If we talk about this Union everything must be about policy, politics, administration, legal system and guidelines from the treaties agreed by European Union member states.

Problem Statement Part

I should emphasize on issue chosen to be studied. Whether it is within the context of the policy, how to connect the problem of the immigration issue with the study of muslims in Europe with the UK as the case study? In problem statement, I should question myself, what is the reason to study? If it is about Muslim migrants, what are the reason behind this? What is the problem regarding Muslim migrants in the UK? The problem here is that whether the third and second generation of Muslim migrants are considered as migrants?

On the other hand, I had also put in the study about the notion of multiculturalism. I need to differentiate the study. Whether it is about the current population of Muslim in UK or about Muslim migrants? If I choose this type of social study, I need to make up my mind and choose because it makes my study obscure. When I change this, I must also change the objective as well as research questions.

Research Methodology

The term manipulation of data is not a suitable term to describe a method used in a research. It is more to a process. It is not an explanation of the method used. If I am going to do historical research for example, what are the methods? Try to read something about this in order to get some ideas.   

Sources

Where should I get my data sources? It means that what types of data that I am going to use for the research? In term of type of data sources, whether it is narrative types or people's opinion or academic theories? 

Are the data came from the reports, debates, or narratives of famous figures? Those things on where to access the data such as from internet searching could be described in brief.

Justify also why I need to use secondary data? How will it provides result to my objective and inquiry? 

Process in Analyzing Data

How about this process? How to sort them out? Qualitative process of analyzing the data? How to classify them into categories? How they are related and why they are related?

Significance of the Study

It must be totally changed according to what I choose in the background or introduction part. 

Another Comment

I took it too long and still came out with the same mistake. My sincere comment on this, I just feel lost when I look at this study. The more we dwell in it, the more it confuse us. That's why I love Quranic studies compared to these kind of things. Because I am familiar with it compared to these thesis mesis political science studies nih. Then the dateline for me to resend it to supervisor is at 23rd of December 2011. I need to check the calender as well to make sure that I am alert. She had earlier mentioned that I should see her by 9th December so I would take this as earlier alert for me.   

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I don't blame the supervisor at all on this matter and I think it is wrong to blame anyone! I guess it is better to comply within the guidelines and comments given. She had been generous enough in enlightening me with the guidelines and repeating them again. 

I had also talked with my colleague, Wenpei. She also has the same problem. We had also avoided our colleagues like Siva because we do not want them to know what happened to us. Further, what can they do to help us other than just discuss it and later we still have to deal it with ourselves? Yesterday, Wenpei also sent me messages saying that she's so disturbed with the study and classes. Frankly we think that we're not suitable to study European studies and I don't really like this studies on policies and administration either because it is so complicated and I think I should earlier change to research mode of Social Development, Asian Studies or doing MBA because MBA needs no research but it's too late to be sorry. We are reading on something which does not represent us but representing others and we have to follow their (Europeans) head and not our own head. I read many traditional administration system sources as well like Hindu-Buddhism system of administration (half-feudal system of traditional court) but it's not difficult like modern European ones because they work with values which we could understand here though I am a Muslim.  

I just said to miss Wenpei yesterday next week she better go for Guanyin temple and pray or chanting Heart Sutra if she feels so annoyed. I also tried to meditate and trying chanting dzikr remembering Allah but when we are nervous it is very difficult to regain tranquility. Ya Allah, guide me how should I encounter these? I feel like throwing out blood when I look at those stuffs for this research. We also have to encounter this repeating class : (

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!

Monday, 14 November 2011

Mid Term Test Done

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

Beautiful creation of the God. We always feeling envious at Northern hemisphere in term of beautiful plants even at their grass flowers. Guess where is this snapped? It's just at the side of Bukit Gambir road in Penang, hahahaha. I don't want any scholarship to France or Germany. My heart is not attracted to those things. I just want to see Him : )   

Thanks dear Lord, we had done with the annoying test. I had forgotten that I should be fasting today because of this test but never mind. I am just so glad that the test had gone though there are several other annoying matters to come after this. In this matter I would like to thank our brother in faith, brother Idris. May he and his family receive happiness and fortune in this life and hereafter for mercy and compassion to other creatures. I believe in brothers and sisters prayers could help everyone going through difficult times. I look at brothers and sisters prayers as the sign that they put importance of brotherhood and sisterhood as their priority. Prayers are our fort, prayers of those who had passed for their generations had also be the fort for the coming generations : )

I actually begin to believe this after maternal grandpa passed away. I had done many wrong things to him... (urmm, let me shed my tears first). After that, I would ask everyone to pray for me. I also talk with hidden creatures in my room or around me to pray for me to be forgiven if they believe in the God and the prophethood of Muhammad s.a.w. I am also afraid that I would hurt hidden "saints." Usually "hidden" saints do not show any difference to others. They appear to be the same like others. Sometimes they appear to be those whom we look down upon in case of my late grandpa. I listened to few tasawwuf angle lessons being introduced to me by Tabligh-e-Jama'at but actually those things are not new to me. I had already noticed that before I return to Islam after I faced the conflicts of aqeedah (creed) in myself where I questioned many things including my goal of life. This actually made me very sensitive with people and fellow creatures around. Sometimes I felt very guilty if I think I did something wrong to people with my face expression, with my speech, or if I made people feel humiliated if I had sometimes didn't notice them talking to me. I would like to first admit my weaknesses. I am a human-being and a creature of the God with flaws because only the God is flawless the Most Perfect. I apologize my sins and wrong-doing to everyone.

I had answered whatever I could remember from the text that I had read. Frankly, I just noticed that the lecturer had uploaded the articles and journals for tests' references only yesterday. I just downloaded them yesterday night and right away walked down to print them out. I thought of finding some acquaintances asking whether they've got printers with them and I would pay for the service. But I think back, no need such an act. I would be a burden to others. That's not our custom to burden others. We would try to survive until the last breath without harming others. I had always practice this since I was a young kid. In school during my childhood time, teachers and people around told me to try solving problems alone first. So now we are familiar with it. If we have any problem not only in studies, but also in daily life like illness and others, we would try to solve them ourselves first. 

Just before I answered the papers, I have to do some translation jobs translating points from articles and journals because words and sentences that they used are complicated. I made them easy and using Malay as the medium because I was a translation and interpretation student trained in both English and Malay. I managed to memorize few points and arguments through this way. Then I talked with auntie Roslin which is my elderly classmate because she doesn't know how to access to the portal where those stuffs are uploaded. To make things easier, I just walked down few minutes before the test began to print the articles for her at least she could pass her paper because this is her third time repeating the same paper. I understand the torment so I don't mind to sacrifice for others. I guess auntie Roslin is around 60's now but still in high spirit to acquire a master degree. She did encouraged me to apply for Erasmus Mundus and other scholarships offered but I turned down everything which came to me because I think it is just enough. I believe in the God as the central part of my life and if I die, I must also die because of Him. I don't need those papers for recognition on me anymore. I just need His forgiveness, His love and acceptance to free me from torments here and in hereafter. I need the knowledge to know Him and being aware about myself. It needs no paper recognition but practices and sacrifice to spread His Mercy and Love : )

There were three articles uploaded by the lecturer for us which are:

1. Ben Aston (2004) How useful are theories of integration to understanding the development of the EU? Politics of Governance: The European Union.
2. Laura Cram (1995) Policy-Making and the Integration Process - Implications for Integration Theory. Department of Government, University of Stratchclyde. UK.
3. Suha Atature (2008) The Historical Roots of European Union: Integration, Characteristics, and Responsibilities for the 21st Century. Vol. 7. No. 2. Political Science and International Relations Department, Yeditepe University, Turkey. 

There were three questions with sub-questions in them. We have to answer the first question as it is compulsory while the other two questions are elective questions which mean that we could choose either one of them. 

The first question is regarding sovereignty. I think the question more or less asking us about the impact of integration process on sovereignty in the European Union (EU) where it refers to the member states. 

Second question directly come from the paper written by Mr. Aston. It touches the theories of integration such as intergovernmentalism, neo-functionalism, and characteristics of those theories. What are the assumptions of those theories.

Third question directly come from Laura Cram paper where it talks about the impact of integration process on the policy making and integration process in the EU.

Basically, I just answered nonsense and trying to manipulate whatever that I have in my empty head. My head is not really empty but it has many other things including that I think classes are not suitable for old teenage like me anymore. After this I would be a 26 years old guy and His calling is also near and near. I don't want to see Him with humiliation but I want to see Him with His acceptance : (

Ya Allah.... 

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!

Saturday, 12 November 2011

Mid Term Break: At Dentistry

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah


Alhamdulillah, I had just settled matters with the God which is salat al-'Isya' (night prayer service). I feel very much relieved because I didn't late to see Him for the service : ) Not so many people in masjid today perhaps it is weekend so people would spend more time with family or friends at home or in other places. I had just get an idea to do physical exercise to maintain health. I can use Tamil song videos to work on physical movement because they have lots of ideas regarding choreography, hahahaahaha. What can I lose if I try... I am just alone in the room so nobody would laugh at me if I use Tamil movie scenes to jog. 

Oh yeah, I went to bookstores too at Sungai Dua and I saw many interesting textbooks such as Social Research by Earl Babbie, Sociology Essentials by Anderson Taylor, Introduction to Social Studies, Human Communication, Microeconomics, Management of Strategy and Concepts, Ayurveda (Indian Traditional Medicine Studies), Medical and Nature, and other religious books. I have got no enough money to purchase them for personal references. Only if I found them earlier, perhaps I could also excel in examinations because I could understand basic principles from textbooks before reaching other journals and articles for applications. 

In the end I just bought a book about wudhu' which its title is translated as Characteristics of Wudhu' from Sunnah written by Abu Ezzat al-Mubarak. I had saw many other series but I think wudhu' is also important. I love religious science but nowadays I think religious science is only my dream since I am not suitable to be one of the student for religious science. There are many obstacles but at least I try to approach Him. Does not matter if He hates me, He has every right to hate me but I will still pray for Mercy and Love on everyone and also for myself. I just wanted to remind myself and beloved brethren... we just appreciate whatever that we have even if we think that it is lame and does not look great like others. Because perhaps it is better for us. 

I always feel down when I am among people. I don't know perhaps my past experience and treatment received had made me turning to be like this. I think that I don't deserve to be around people or even being seen. When I watched a Korean movie called 3 Iron which is about a loner guy who could make himself invisible, I was so curious to know how did he do that???! I wanted to be like that!!!

Now let us scan what had we done last Thursday...

Thursday, 14 Zulhijjah 1432 H (10 Nov 2011) 9:20 am

 Pusat Sejahtera which is the Health Center in USM

I went for dentistry to remove the plaque at my lower front teeth. In the beginning I thought that the previous dentist who dealt with my wisdom tooth suggested me to repair my upper wisdom tooth but when I arrived at the dentistry another dentist and her assistant just removed my plaque. I felt my head giggled when the machine working and I only think that it could thrust my head so I said my testimony of faith to the God and His messenger and seal of prophethood, Muhammad s.a.w. 

I actually hate clinics or hospital and always try to avoid from sickness because I don't want to be admitted to hospital. My dad was actually a heart disease patient. We had cried when he was admitted into hospital around the year 2000 and he had underwent bypass surgery. Human life is not always a happy life. We always have to face trials and tribulations where He taught us to be patient and to pray to Him for Mercy and Love. Many times dad was admitted to hospitals because he also refused to be admitted to hospital each time he was attacked by the heart disease. When I studied in upper secondary school and silently observing Buddhism, he was also attacked by stroke. 

Passage to dentistry

In Ramadan 2010, dad once again was attacked by stroke which makes him paralyzed at his right side. He can't pronounce words properly and his right hand can't moves. Before he was attacked by stroke he came to me and stayed in my previous room. He actually loves to have his meal in mamak restaurants and that's why I am so angry with mamak restaurants. They cook things without sincerity and it caused diseases to customers. In Islam, business is for community service and survival. Business and trade is not for excessive benefits which tyrannize community! I can't do anything to prevent dad from mamak restaurant since it became his habit and perhaps other Malaysians as well. Be careful with what you have brethren and I think having meals that we cook ourselves are much better than having them at restaurants or hawkers. In this campus, I have no choice because we don't have stove nor kitchen. In maqasid shar'iyyah (methods of deriving legality of acts and stuffs), we do not only observe halal slaughtering for meat or do not take pork and parts of swine as food but we also check other aspects as well. If the preparations of food is harmful for health, and ingredients are harmful then it is classified as haram (illegal). We are very discreet even in term of politeness toward customers and services. That's why some Muslim teachers of mine who went to Japan said that Japanese had observed Islamic values while most of them are not Muslims because those values are actually "the nature" of human-being. I was not surprised when I heard that because I believe in those values and believe that they should be implemented in society. Not just being discussed and left without any implementation.

School of Physics

Some of those Tabligh kids who approached me last time were students from this school, haha. I don't think that I am worth to be around them because I am not a student who excel well in academics since schooling time. I'm just a human-being who deserves no recognition nor important in this world. Perhaps they are from those schools such as Mara Lower Science Institute (MRSM) before they attend the university without non-Malay students because non-malay students usually are not supported by government so they felt weird to see a "Malay" who speaks in Chinese and do not behave like a Malay. It is because I am not a Malay but a "Malayanized" person. We were forced to be ones because we have no place to go. If I lived a happy life or my life working on smoothly perhaps I don't try to find my ancestral root like other Malay-Arabs but unfortunately we do not live happy life since the time of our grandparents. Even I came to the extend that I tried to lose my Islamic identity because I hate how people looking down on others and actually selfish despite talking about the Greatness of Islam and we are holy, others are filthy swine-eaters, ungodly people... They just talk and talk but never walk the talk even they do not look at things discreetly including the soul and environment around which by the God is called as fitrah (the nature) : )

We live in the world as travelers who have no original homeland, and that explains why I understand how Jews and Chinese compatriots feel when people spew things like "lu India, lu Cina balik negeri lu lar!" (you Indian, you Chinese go home to your homeland!). I am not supporting the killings and tyranny toward human-being but there are many people who have no homelands like Jews for example the Kurdish, the Armenian, the Rauhingya, the Southern Thais and others. Their lands were absorbed into other countries and nations. Racism is something which is used to justify nationalism. It is proved as bringing harms to human-being and the environment because human will spill blood because of it. In shariah, it is haram (illegal) and must be uprooted because it is evil!

Above this building was our Global Political Economy (IPE) class, it is in opposite to School of Physics

Anyway, this school of physics is just in opposite to the health center. In front of this school is a part of Hamzah Sendut I library. We used to have our Global Political Economy class at the upper level of the library with Dr. Zainal Abiddin during our second semester.  

The backyard of Hamzah Sendut I library

So, anyone who have some nostalgia in USM may take a look at those pictures. Perhaps there are many pictures regarding this institution but I just keep some of them here for those who have no camera or video with them. There was also a Malay movie I guess its title is "Ali Setan" took its setting in this institution. Last time when I was a first degree student many of those first year degree students played the movie. Many Kelantanese students too and most of them were students in the School of Humanities taking courses such as History or Geography. Some were in School of Education. 

My ex-roommate brother Zaidi was from School of Education. I know he is a quiet person but he didn't want to talk with me... Maybe I treated him wrongly or maybe I looked like a weird guy. I'm sorry brother Zaidi if I wronged you though you may not read it here. Sometimes, people would look at me like an ignorant person or impolite because people always saw me with "naughty" students or students who have no "good/religious" friends. I tried to bring them to Him while nobody wants them and I could not showing up myself as an orthodox Muslim nor supporting Muslim Students Association in the light. I am actually supporting the Islamic Center though I do not join any association. I sincerely apologize even after many times I apologized to you and others dear brother :'(

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!

Friday, 11 November 2011

Mid Term Break: Night Walking in Sungai Dua

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah


My cousin brother had already passed his contract of marriage, praise be to the God. I thought of calling him to congratulate him but somehow I felt shy, huhuuu. I didn't see his marriage ceremony nor paying respect to the ceremony. Moreover, next week I actually have a test for mid-semester and I felt that it's not safe to go out from my campus. It was postponed until the opening of the half semester break.

It's not actually easy to manage the time even if we are not working. I tried hard not to waste time and filling it with remembrance to Him. Sometimes we would also be deflected by "satan" and in this matter I do not want to blame anyone including satan. Satan could come to us in many forms. I still remember some discourses that I had about lord Buddha Gautham had to also encounter marn (satan) that tempted him in many ways when he meditated. Although he's not mentioned in glorious Quran as anything related to revelation but I still respect his teachings even when I return to the path of ancestors. I also acknowledge that prophet Jesus a.s was also tempted when satan who came to him to deflect him in many ways. 

So, we must be really careful with environment around. Take heed in the changes in ourselves. I am actually reminding myself because every time I feel that the God is leaving me. I am so afraid because I only have Him as my Protector and Friend. Even if I am surrounded by people like parents, siblings, and friends, my real Friend and Protector is actually Him. They will eventually leave me. If He leaves me too, then I will be dead in this life and the hereafter : (

Wednesday, 13 Zulhijjah 1432 (9th Nov 2011)

I supposedly to see dentist last Wednesday to remove plaques at my teeth. However, I had fallen asleep after sunrise prayer service. I hate myself for being a person who's not punctual. That's not a good morality. When we make deals and agreement with people, we must be honest and punctual because He is recording our attitude, acts and words. This is not British culture. This is a culture of a servant of the God who submit themselves to Him. Then I called the medical center at dentistry department and setting the appointment again. So, I have to see the dentist on Thursday which is the next day. 

 
At night I just went to find some food. I just went to Pelita Muslim Indian restaurant at Sungai Dua gate which is close to the mosque after night prayer service. I prayed in the mosque because I always went there when I was a first degree student. I miss the mosque and if I could live inside the mosque I would be so glad. But I just can live far away from Him : ( I had some mutton soup with two slice of bread and it tastes nice. I can't really eat rice here because I am not used to Southern Indian way of cooking. The curries are fierce because they use fierce spices. It's actually harming for spiritual growth. I think I must stick to my dates stock. I could survive with only few dates per day but I am afraid that sometimes people around would feel weird if they see me looking skinny or thinking that I am trying to avoid them. I love everyone who loves the God (Allah) no matter how they look like or what they are. I have weaknesses as a human-being which makes me worried would affect others around me. I don't really care about myself.


Then, I spent my time walking around the area of Sungai Dua. I took some pictures at places where I always walked so anyone passing here could also walk together, hahaha. Not only Malaysian students in overseas facing sadness in foreign countries when breaks come. We local students also feel the same especially when we have no one to talked with. Being a master student is not the same like being a degree student where we have groups of friends around even if not from the same course but we still share other classes or row. Being master students no matter with classes or only conducting research, we have to work on our own. We also have to live alone and isolated from others. My row has less people. It's like I am living alone in this world and perfect for meditation and being tempted by "satan" : )   

Bali Bali Food Court

Bali Bali food court is actually a Chinese food court. Last time I was so fed up with mamak restaurant for their service that made me having some drinks here. I didn't take any food there but just drinks. I saw a Hui girl here but I am not sure whether she had her meal there. Her name if I am not mistaken is Mo Di and she was my German language classmate. There is also Indian hawker there, but I am also not sure whether they are Muslims or non-Muslims. My Spaniard ex-classmate, Celia also had her meals here and she complained that curry in mamak restaurant has strong smells which could not simply being removed by washing hands with soaps and it also sticks to shirts. I just have my meals in mamak's if I have no choice because if we look at the way some of them serve the food, it would fall into haram (illegal and spiritually harmful) category in term of cleanliness. I am actually very particular with food and would rather fast as I hate eating, it tooks away my time in doing other things. Yet, many people who doesn't really know me still look at me as a person who has no religion because I don't like to show off my faith to people and I walk in and out non-Muslim places of worship. Faith should be kept firmly in the heart and we pray for faith to be granted to us by the God. We avoid hurting people with our words or attitude and it would be useless if we only show that we physically keeping cleanliness but inside of our heart is rotten. We emphasize both cleanliness physically and spiritually and His Mercy will reach everyone, inshaallah : )

Lepak, we hang out around here, hehehe

So, I just hang around here alone for a moment watching at the moon and cars. I don't have financial support yet for videos right now. I would also love to produce videos about Muslims life if there are opportunities but for now it's enough with this site. We also have many brothers and sisters with sites about Muslims life and I am happy to see all of them. This idea actually came across when I talked with Dr. Diana Huang who is a lecturer in Women Development Center. Last time Azren had introduced me to her and her assistant, I guess her name is also Wenpei or Peiwen something just like my classmate name but I am not sure about their Chinese character name would be the same. We talked about Chinese culture in Penang and Malaysia. Some parts, we also discussed about why should politicians played the issues like Chinese National school or National school because it is a unique traits of Malaysia. I also had seen a travelogue magazine during we discussed with Dr. Huang. The magazine was published by Wang Changsong, a Chinese national student. He did the publication alone while he was a first degree student. I think that it could be something that could be taken as an example for everyone.

I am actually doing the same thesis about Multiculturalism or Assimilation in Europe particularly Britain who was also a master of vast empire (Great Britain). If we demand people to assimilate, then what degree of assimilation? Britain is a multicultural nation. I didn't tell her that I am of Arab-Gujarat ancestry where our forefathers had came here since before independence of Malayan Peninsula as a Federal component of Malaysia and we were also forced to have dual identity where another identity had been abolished in documents so many of us actually are not aware about ourselves. Some of us thought that we are Indians and some thought that we are Malays. At certain degree some of us would take "Malay" as their identity while in other places they would claim themselves as Hadrami-Yemeni Arabs though they speak Arabic no more nor looking like an Arab because of few generations had passed. 

I had also visited Islamic Museum in Georgetown in the next day. I would put it here for other brothers or sisters of Arab ancestral lineage who are curious about themselves and their culture since we in Malaysia, Myanmar and Southern Thailand are not so significant like those in Singapore and Indonesia for diaspora of South East Asia region. This is not to encourage racism as it is haram! But at least we should be aware about ourselves and brethren of other nations could also learn together. We share everything that we learn and we should be happy that the God has created us with Love and Mercy though we are from different backgrounds and regions. I had also expressed my sadness that some of Muslim Chinese brothers had also being Arabized after returning from Yemen while I am a Muslim of Arabian ancestry encouraging them to flourish within their culture in Islamic framework. Many elders of Peranakan Arab (those Arabs with Malay mothers or other nationality mothers) had also translated religious books into native languages from Arabic. Now, we have vast books in Malay for aqeedah, tasawwuf, shafi'ie madzhab fiqh, and many others. If those elders using only Arabic, would we see Malay books for Islamic teachings today? 

The God created people of every nations to know each other, not to fight over nationalism, being lazy to learn languages and to dwell in negativity. That is baatil (evil) and we should also imagine how boring is this world with only a uniform kind of people. That is why Islam is across the boundary of races and nations. It is the path of the God since the creation of human-being and not the path of human-being like Western ideologies. There is also issue about Malaysian Chinese cuisine which had been published in newspaper. It is called as Bak Kut Teh but had been mistaken as pork based cuisine though the meat in the cuisine could be substituted with something halal (legal) when we do it on our own. It shows that the comprehension of public about usool fiqh and shariah islamiah is still poor. I am so sad because His Wide Mercy had been hidden by people who call themselves as Muslim due to their own ignorance. We would make this an article if we have some time only if He grants it to us the chance. 

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!

Sunday, 6 November 2011

Aidul Adha 2011: Little Walk, Tekun Desa

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

These ones are pics taken yesterday. It was quite pleasant when the climate turns a bit colder after rain. And there were not so many people so I can capture pictures without being seen. Feel uncomfortable when people looking at us snapping here and there, hahaha.  

Campus Site

Moss (Bryophyte) along the pavement just at Fajar Harapan without roof' bus stand

Padang Kawat or marching field where police and army students marching during their activities. I used to drink canned tea and coffee or having some snacks here alone at night when I was in second and third year degree. Then watching at the moon or stars. I wasn't really hanging around with my colleague, Amir though we used to chat about many things. He lives in Jitra in Kedah so everyweek he could return home while I have to stay alone and thinking what should I do while I was alone... : )

Main bus stand for those who live at the hostels across the road to take commuter bus to classes


Climb these stairs at the bus stand to the flyover to RST hostel complexes, picture senget sikit rasa macam nak terbalik pulak, hahaha


 Flyover if we do not want to wait for traffic light in front of Bukit Gambir road

RST Complex Site 

RST complex with the hill as its background. I just imagined myself spending my time in Bhutan while looking at the hill, hehehhe

Desa Universiti with shop lots view from flyover, there you're Khaleel and Roti Bakar restaurants with Maju Jaya and 7E convenient store.

 
Reaching down the flyover, yeahhhh take some deep breath!!!! 

 
Cross the road, I don't know what to call this road, maybe it's called as Jalan desa Tekun

It's trying to warm itself, such a cute creature

 
Neighboring houses, nice architecture

Tekun Hostel Complex

 
Am not sure what is this construction for, but it seems like bus stand with roof

 
Welcome to desasiswa Tekun and Housing Unit, it's just upstairs

Climb stairs and... Hey, cats I hate to show my affection to them when people are there but I would hug them when I am alone, these creatures are cute animals... hahahaha

Thank you elevator, it brings me up this skyscraper

This is my hive, the first room that I could see is Raof and Badi'ozaman's room. Raof is from Sri Lanka and Badio is from Serawak, our Northern Borneo compatriot

Astaghfirullah, is this a room or a tongkang pechah????! ahahaha

Bo..bo dulu... deh!!! hahahahaaha.....
Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!!!

Aidul Adha 2011: Little Walk in the Campus

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

Just the same places where I use to walk in my daily life while studying here. Since first degree until now. What can I say, feel bored walking in the same place but we appreciate what we have. Might be it is good for us or might be something torturing but at least we have something for our selves. Many students have affection to this place. I have no attachment to this place and I don't really develop friendship here so I don't feel any attachment : ) 

Mai kita jalan-jalan tempat biasa... hehehe

Crossing Bukit Gambir Road into the campus

Jalan Bukit Gambir, view from flyover

Welcome to the campus at Bukit Gambir gate

USM Stadium at Bukit Gambir gate

Students' Main Hall (DUP) from the pavement, just after rain pouring down

 Close up at DUP, this is the place we used to sit for examination during first degree time

View of Indah Kembara male hostel from a bus stand 

Prayer Hall of Masjid al-Malik Khalid, this is the only place that I missed in USM I cried here before Him pleading help to face this life : )

I have many memories with grandparents too. Sometimes we were left in our village in Perlis or our grandparents would look after us when they come over to visit us. I hate to stay in the village too when I was a child because we only could listen to radio and can't watch TV. Radio channel that I listened when I was in Perlis was broadcasting from Southern Thailand. Even the TV channel that I could only watch is Malaysian Radio and Television Channel 1 while other popular channel like TV3 can't be reached with short aerial. Most people in grandparents house are settlers from Southern Thailand and they speak in Thai at home although they are Malays. Small numbers of minority were settlers from southern states such as from Negeri Sembilan. Grandparents were settlers from Sanglang of Kedah state and we regard Perlis as a territory of Kedah Sultanate, haha.   

Besides, we can't make friend with village kids because they would mock us as kids from the city whom are viewed in generalization as bunch of arrogant kids. Some villagers (traditional) ones always looking down to us as ungodly people and deserve no respect so they talked to us in impolite manner. I hate to stay in the village too. My sisters always teasing me, they said you are unfriendly unlike us. They are female and when they bring their friend home, they do not have to worry as I am the only male among them beside my dad who is another.

I always think about others before I do anything for myself. Even when I wanted to give foods to a cat or a dog, I would first make sure that it is safe for the animal. If I bring my friends home, I am afraid that everyone would feel uncomfortable since our house is actually a small house, we are poor people. I had been to friends' houses and staying at their house which actually denotes that I make friends and contacts with people around. As an example, I had been to Alep house in Yan just after his dad passed away during our first year as a degree student. He was not even my course mates nor room mates and we are just hostel mates. I understood how it feels when losing someone we love because I love my grandparents though I had not acted as a filial grandson to the late grandpa due to some misunderstanding. I am still maintaining contact with Alep.

Sadly other friends including my ex-roommate Zaidi had lost from the reach because I don't think I have any significance in others' life. Once I think that I have no function in people life, I would get rid myself from them. Other than that, female and male are different in term of functions although we are both human-being. So, we can't take everyone as fitting others but as unique on their own. I regret that sisters at home, even mum has the thinking that everyone must be the same in function. When I say to them why don't you do man job if human function the same? They would rant saying: "It's like no men at home!" If, human are the same in function and ability, why not women be truck drivers, electricians, technicians, mechanics and etc? I will give my full support to women who involve themselves in these field rather than just talk but never walk their talk, LOL... 

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!

Aidul Adha 2011: Just Having Some Walk in Queensbay

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

Didn't plan it. I just grabbed my bag to find something for lunch. Then spontaneously waiting for the bus in front of Tesco. Had a talk with a Penang guy working in the Tesco. He had his time off and going home, so I have some nice chat with him about Penang and bus system. Also about migrant workers from Indonesia where they are concentrated in Relau area.

Poor kid, he said that he wanted to further studies but he has to keep some money. I just think that university is not really a place to study or developing studies but rather a place to keep knowledge only for internal circulation. Other than that, people are not studying because of the passion to study, researching on how to enhance services, or doing something for the betterment of society but only to find job if it is in Malaysian context. So, what's the different between furthering studies and already working? In the end people would have to work for a living either working in a nice office with nice salary or end up like some of my Malaysian Chinese seniors from Kedah in the Language Center working as salesgirls or restaurant managers : ) 

Besides that, who said that I'm not a friendly person if I always keep my silence, hehe. I can be friendly if I wanted to be but when some people who saw me talked with me, I had decided to be unfriendly because of certain reasons. I believe that nothing in the universe and in space existence last long, so do friendship or whatever it is.

Some interior design in Queensbay above the entrance 

 Crowded... We don't have to go for Xiamen or Fujian to travel because here we could also experience being in Southern China region : )

Japanese Restaurant: Nippon Yadamura level Basement Queensbay

Though I don't really like the ideas of the leader who proposed the Look to East (Japan) policy in educational and technological development industry, but I can't deny I love Japanese. I hope some Chinese nationals who are passing here do not smash my face... hehehe. My ability to converse in Japanese had obsolete almost two years ago after I joined Japanese minor class for translation and interpretation degree course. It's because of YOU, Yang Lee Soo! Hate you because if I know that you'd control the classes, I would refrain from that worthless class but rather furthering it in real Japanese University! 

Your teaching method is out of the scheme and not interesting. I'm sorry to say this. I had took the pain learning Japanese in order to read Buddhism books when I was around 15-16 years old. Japanese teachers like Watanabe Jigo, Watanabe Noriko and Goh Sensei who taught me in Egami Private Language Center in Sri Petaling were far more better. I regret I can't complete my Japanese studies. Otherwise, I would have translated all of the fiqh shari'iyyah and tasawwuf books in the rack into Japanese for Muslim Japanese brothers and sisters references. Now I have to do it in Chinese first because my Japanese grammar was destructed by that Yang Sensei who taught in a UNIVERSITY.

Japanese Milk Tea

I miss Japan. I used to buy this in Mami Maato Department Store in front of the factory at Chiba in Tokyo... : ( I can't find this in other convenient store here nor in vending machine like when I was in Japan. We only have green tea and Taiwanese tea. It brings me back to my memory when I was 18 years old. I paid RM8.65 for a little bottle simply because I missed it, ouchhhh!

Jusco drinking water: RM0.35, hehe.

Hainanese Chicken Rice

I didn't check whether it is halal or not but what to do... I had already ordered without checking the owner's status. Next time we must not rush in doing things. Usually they would display certificate in open places like food court but too many people today so I went to place where there was less people, never mind. I hate making fuss about things because it is impolite. 

I just leave the chicken out but only taking the rice, it costs me RM6. Luckily I had bought a fried chicken before entering the food court so I ate that with the rice. Anything wrong I ask forgiveness from the God and His Mercy. That is my weakness and my fault and I am weak. I just used sign language talking with the Chinese hawker. She thought that I am some kind of foreigner since I didn't talk when ordering but just pointing at the menu. She thought that maybe this guy is a Vietnamese or Burmese or perhaps he is deaf or mute, lolll. It's very nice to use sign language, everyone can understand it and no need for voice.  

Penang Bridge view from Queensbay open air parking lot.

A cafe outside the shopping complex.

Many people crowding the shopping complex since it's a public holiday here. Bus is also full with people... 

It's jammed, and many cars. I'm sure those farm folks in the US or Europe never see the world enough when they thought that people in eastern part of the world live on trees. Perhaps they're penniless and stuck in their farms though their currency is higher, kesian... 

Prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!
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