First Chapter Need Changes

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

Hurrrm, this morning I had just met my supervisor, Dr. Noraida. She said that nothing much changed in the first part. I should repair the first part and put everything that they said in the introduction part. Actually, the more I look at the thesis the more I feel confused because everyday I just wandering in front of the computer looking at the thesis and checking what should I do. I had done the proposal for the thesis many times since last semesters and each time it should be amended according to different lecturers who advised us on research methodologies. I don't like to sit at the computer.  

How do I feel jah? Urmmm just feel like I wanted to cry. I would sincerely admit... I feel like I wanted to cry in the bus while returning to my room. If I am a woman I guess I would just cry in  front of people, hahahahahaha. So, being both man and woman actually is not easy. We have our own differences and problems in life. I feel my neck being tied with unnecessary ropes. I actually had made vow to study religious sciences and returning to my responsibility but this world is pushing me aside the way. I send text messages also to wrong people, so humiliating. It's because I feel so annoyed and my head think about many things. Sometimes I also feel like wanted to retreat, chap ye (tidy up things), return home, finding a job with my first degree certificate again and when I free just meditate in masjids or traveling around to perform da'awa on myself. If I saved enough money, I wanted to to go to some countries in Middle East or South Asia and stay there waiting for my "time" to come. Sometimes I'm quite pessimistic with future, lol. And sometimes I could only see darkness where I see myself in shroud cloth down the ground... 

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Guidelines and Comments Today

What did she advise me to do?

Background Part

On the background or introduction part it should be a brief one. It must be from general to specific introduction of the issue. I didn't change much in this part and it seems like the same with the previous one that I did. It's actually my fault, I didn't put the record in orderly manner. I have piles of paper here and it's all over the places. I told so at the supervisor but she thought that I tried to blame her, hahaha. For example, if I wanted to choose immigration policy, what is the relationship of UK in position of immigration and Muslim issue in UK? The program is about European Union so it must be related to the Union and not about a specific member state of the Union. If we talk about this Union everything must be about policy, politics, administration, legal system and guidelines from the treaties agreed by European Union member states.

Problem Statement Part

I should emphasize on issue chosen to be studied. Whether it is within the context of the policy, how to connect the problem of the immigration issue with the study of muslims in Europe with the UK as the case study? In problem statement, I should question myself, what is the reason to study? If it is about Muslim migrants, what are the reason behind this? What is the problem regarding Muslim migrants in the UK? The problem here is that whether the third and second generation of Muslim migrants are considered as migrants?

On the other hand, I had also put in the study about the notion of multiculturalism. I need to differentiate the study. Whether it is about the current population of Muslim in UK or about Muslim migrants? If I choose this type of social study, I need to make up my mind and choose because it makes my study obscure. When I change this, I must also change the objective as well as research questions.

Research Methodology

The term manipulation of data is not a suitable term to describe a method used in a research. It is more to a process. It is not an explanation of the method used. If I am going to do historical research for example, what are the methods? Try to read something about this in order to get some ideas.   

Sources

Where should I get my data sources? It means that what types of data that I am going to use for the research? In term of type of data sources, whether it is narrative types or people's opinion or academic theories? 

Are the data came from the reports, debates, or narratives of famous figures? Those things on where to access the data such as from internet searching could be described in brief.

Justify also why I need to use secondary data? How will it provides result to my objective and inquiry? 

Process in Analyzing Data

How about this process? How to sort them out? Qualitative process of analyzing the data? How to classify them into categories? How they are related and why they are related?

Significance of the Study

It must be totally changed according to what I choose in the background or introduction part. 

Another Comment

I took it too long and still came out with the same mistake. My sincere comment on this, I just feel lost when I look at this study. The more we dwell in it, the more it confuse us. That's why I love Quranic studies compared to these kind of things. Because I am familiar with it compared to these thesis mesis political science studies nih. Then the dateline for me to resend it to supervisor is at 23rd of December 2011. I need to check the calender as well to make sure that I am alert. She had earlier mentioned that I should see her by 9th December so I would take this as earlier alert for me.   

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I don't blame the supervisor at all on this matter and I think it is wrong to blame anyone! I guess it is better to comply within the guidelines and comments given. She had been generous enough in enlightening me with the guidelines and repeating them again. 

I had also talked with my colleague, Wenpei. She also has the same problem. We had also avoided our colleagues like Siva because we do not want them to know what happened to us. Further, what can they do to help us other than just discuss it and later we still have to deal it with ourselves? Yesterday, Wenpei also sent me messages saying that she's so disturbed with the study and classes. Frankly we think that we're not suitable to study European studies and I don't really like this studies on policies and administration either because it is so complicated and I think I should earlier change to research mode of Social Development, Asian Studies or doing MBA because MBA needs no research but it's too late to be sorry. We are reading on something which does not represent us but representing others and we have to follow their (Europeans) head and not our own head. I read many traditional administration system sources as well like Hindu-Buddhism system of administration (half-feudal system of traditional court) but it's not difficult like modern European ones because they work with values which we could understand here though I am a Muslim.  

I just said to miss Wenpei yesterday next week she better go for Guanyin temple and pray or chanting Heart Sutra if she feels so annoyed. I also tried to meditate and trying chanting dzikr remembering Allah but when we are nervous it is very difficult to regain tranquility. Ya Allah, guide me how should I encounter these? I feel like throwing out blood when I look at those stuffs for this research. We also have to encounter this repeating class : (

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!

Sahur in Hostel Ramadan 12th

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

Hahaha, it's quite fun having sahur (predawn-meal) alone. No one to see on how I eat whether I eat like a sungkur tak pernah makan setahun or in polite sopan santun cover manner. Without we realize time working so fast and it is now 12th of Ramadan. Just wake up every morning at 4:30 and having some vegetarian meals such as wholemeal bread, pickled mixed vegetables, ghee and some hua nan tsai (green mustards) in the can. These kind of food reminds me when I was a follower of lord Buddha teaching. Perhaps, his teaching was also influenced by Ahimsa philosophy. I refused meat too last time though it is not a must for a Buddhist. Raya Haji takut lah banyak sembelih daging (Eiduladha was a nightmare), lol.

Green mustard. Simply long time not taking any vegetables asyik makan ayam ja.

These food are classified as pure unadulterated kind of food which they called as sattawah. However I believe I have some ginger, onion, lime and lehsun (garlic) in my pickled vegetable because it tastes pungent and sharp. So, it's not really pure lacto-vegetarian meal as there are stimulator. Some ginger, onion, or garlic are good to drive out blockage in our nose however it is less good than sattawah. This is not sunnah prescribed food but some of it might be in coincidence the same. This classification is made by Brahmins and Yogis of ancient India. They are good in traditional medicinal food and herbs. Their medical tradition had spread as far as Persia in the West and South East Asia in the East.

 

 Garlic, it is good for consumption if we have cholesterol or hypertension problem.

For drink I had some tea mixed with some fresh milk and honey. I can't keep food long here as I have no fridge so it is quite difficult for me to store fresh stuffs. It would be wasting if I have to throw foods away after they become rotten once they're due while only having some of it. So, we have to think for solution to get some balanced nutrients and in the same time minimizing wasting through some budget that we have. I listed down all of the yogic prescribed food in the paper wherever I could recall and checking the price at the market before buying stuffs. Make sure we plan everything. Maybe our plan would not be according to what we planned but at least make some plans to get along with the budget. It is better than nothing. 

Fresh ginger is good to clear up mucus that blocking our nose but it is a stimulant. We can see some strict Chinese Buddhist adhering to vegetarianism and some Orthodox Hindus avoid ginger too.

Perhaps I need to consider getting some powder milk too. Fresh milk is expensive. A small box of fresh milk might cost around RM1.70. Medium size fresh milk say of Dutch Lady brand would cost me around Rm3.30. How could we maintain our nutrients balanced in the same time with minimum budget yah?

Left to right: pickled cucumber, pickled mixed vegetables, honey, windmill gheeblend, and dutch lady fresh milk for both pre-dawn meal and breaking the fast.

 Roti Gardenia, wholemeal to counter the effect of ghee. Who knows we might be caught with heart disease because ghee has some cholesterol in a tablespoon, rich in vitamins like vitamin A and D, helps in vitamin and minerals absorption. Too much of vitamin A is not good for liver. Tu ada tanda halal Jakim, tak kuasa lah nak periksa tanda halal tu kat benda-benda remeh begini. Tiap-tiap tahun pun nak kena perbaharui licence or certification here. Cara yang baik nak mencekik duit dari orang perseorangan n organizations. 

So, this is how some of us 'local' Malaysian students spending in food and beverage especially when we have no support from loaning institution such as PTPTN or getting scholarship from MARA or JPA. If not all but at least some people could know what we're going through in the midst of chosen students studying abroad could get benefits like traveling allowances to release tense and others although their difficulties would be in another form. Nak makan pun kena berkira dengan diri sendiri. When I was a 9 years old little kid, I had almost died starving too when we moved back to Kedah. We had no food, no money, clumsy situation after suddenly moving in to new place and this country is not an under-developed country but the lack of nutrient problem is everywhere.

It's not easy to attain all of those fussy financial help, even zakat. I don't take zakat and would never take it. I am talking on the behalf of other students who really need them. I don't take food at the mosque too in order to give way for others who need them more than myself. I still can survive with minimum consumption of food. What pusat zakat could do is to come down and talking with students or individuals, checking on whether these people really need help or assistance, and not to comfortably rear their ass in their airconditioned office. It is the responsibility and trust from brothers and sisters when orang pusat zakat and religious departments take the job, bukan makan gaji buta and relying on the subsidy sahaja. If everyone could be considerate, compassionate, considering that every soul has their rights before Allah and helping each other, at least the issue such as riddah (apostacy) or feast at the Methodist church could be avoided. There is of no use to blame those Protestants nor commenting on how weak is some people's faith. It is very easy to judge people and living in denial, orang Kedah kata mulut ringan jah wok kluaq kata-kata macam taik lembu selepok. Non-Muslim NGOs are quite active in social work. I noticed that Tzu Chi Buddhist Association is also active.
 

As for expenditure, not all of local students are using money without checking on the capacity because most of us are poor. Some who take post-graduate have to leave their job because of full time classes not only by research and it is not easy to deal with the schedule wherever we are not certain with something. It creates unstable situation where most people could not understand and putting these people into the same situation like them. Not all people are fortunate. We could ask people to learn about happy life all we want to forget the problem or for them not to bother our comfortable life but we can't run from the fact that we are sharing the air and earth with everyone. What would we do if we are in other people's situation? That is the question that we need to ask to ourselves when we talk about others.

Undeniably there are many irresponsible students out there who spend money as it is easy for them to get. I always mumbling at my sisters especially those who love to waste their money for unnecessary things and buying expensive things while there are also cheaper alternatives for that. Allah forgive us our false speech, forgive us our sins in thought and acts. Scripture time, self reflection time...

Sealed with prayer for peace, mercy and love, amin!