Sunday, 2 January 2011

Upcoming Research Proposal

Assalaamu'alaikum w rahmatullah!!!

First of all, I pray that no one will never ever encounter troubles like I have in these first few weeks. Nobody deserves it. The day for my mini-thesis for master degree presentation is almost close. It will be in January 11th (Safar 7th) and I will have to present them twice. The presentation on 11th is only the beginning while I still have time to amend the features in my research if I passed it. But it would be a great trouble and sinful for me if I can't get through it because I will feel guilty to Allah in the first place for humiliating His sacred trust and later to both of my parents and to myself.

Frankly speaking, I have no idea on what should I do. I had been thinking and doing my readings on what to do since last semester but I didn't get any clue about this so-called Union. European Union studies looks like a concrete studies with its theoretical framework although it eveloves according to time. Besides, I have to deal with research questions or problem statements and data analysis methods. It is quite tough for a beginner like me because I was a translation and interpretation student from the School of Humanity majoring in Malay and English. Not a Political Science nor from any Social Science background. I may have ample knowledge about the translation of Quran or Bible into English or Malay, those methods used in interpreting sentences or translating texts and whom are the famous translator like Nida or orator like Cicero. But for political theories or administrative field, ana zero (I am zero) like in a Moroccan saying.

Many would think that why am I taking a field which I am not familiar with for further degree. The reason is that I wanted to change my course. I had few bitter experience with my past lecturer. It is not because I have problems with them but it is regarding principles. Also, translation and interpretation especially of Malay and English is not so prominent in Malaysia. Well, everyone speaks English well or at least could understand that so according to economic principle, no necessity, no service. So, I think that changing the course in the same university would be a beginning for a new future but it is not as easy as I thought. May Allah forgive us our past sins, and may Allah forgive me for being selfish.

Last Friday night, after my Sibtis-Salaam (the peaceful Saturday, the time to remember Allah and reciting holy verses from holy Quran as a service to souls of deceased brothers, sisters, and ancestors). I had been thinking of doing a research about the relationship between China and European Union in political and economic term but then I checked the title with my respective classmate through a message. She said that she's planning to do the same topic, so I have to change to other topic and theme because I had just gotten the idea while she had planned to do that since the whole last semester. Anyway, I am happy for her and I am sure that I won't take away her happiness although I feel that my heart was like going to jump out of my chest after knowing that I have to change my topic.

For a moment I sat down on the floor to respect twice holy times and lamenting myself for being a useless guy. 

This verse from Surah Maryam verse 23 comes out of my mind. It reminds me that the torments and the tests which Maryam, the mother of prophet 'Isa (as) had received  and experienced are heavier than mine, she was alone and nobody to share with her sorrow: "And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm-tree: she cried (in anguish to herself), oh dear!! Would that I had died before this! Would I had been a thing forgotten and out of sight!"

I did have the same thought as what had been told in the surah. I feel that I am useless at that time where I can't think of nothing. I just feel that I have to disappear from others sight or not even born in this world. But as to say, Maryam is strong woman. If she is a woman, then, why should I be weaker than her? She had to suddenly pregnant and receiving this heavy task from Allah SWT. This thesis is nothing compared to what she had gone through, nothing at all.May Allah bless Maryam al-'Adzraa'.   

And suddenly an inspiration came out to me. I have got an idea. I will do some humble service to Muslim nation and community. The first principle that should always be in our mind is, no selfishness! Sacrifice ourselves for others, for Allah path and for the service of Allah. Nothing to lose in this world, the glory appearance of Allah is worthy than anything in this "dream." 

I would do a research on something about law, human rights, discrimination, and Islamophobe in Europe. Last time I had read something about the late Marwa el-Sherbini (may Allah be merciful to her soul). She is an Egyptian born pharmacist and most of all, a poor Muslim sister. She was stabbed to death by a Russian immigrant in the court during a court proceeding. She was verbally insulted by the guy in a small quarrel in a park in Dreisden. Or I might talk about the ban of Burqa or Niqab in Europe and how does it affect the diversity of Europe, is it parallel with their so-called motto unity in diversity or whether it is just a rhetoric? 

Subhanallah!!! There are actually many issues that we could talk and elaborate on concerning the modern Europe. I thought that I can't relate it with the old Europe before WWII and I am going to stuck in this varsity forever or being kicked out for not completing my degree and facing humiliation before Allah.

For now, I will follow the advice of a lecturer from research methodology class. Doing some reading, and I will try to stay calm insyaa-Allah although only Allah knows the turbulence in my heart.

May Allah forgive us our daily sins forgiving my false speech,  but guiding me to His true path. Grant us serenity and may His glory strucks obstacles in our way to see Him. Allah bless our holy prophet Muhammad (saw), Allah bless his family, and Allah please bless all of his companions, his disciples, and his followers the faithful Muslims, Ameeen!!!! 

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