Argggh... Backpain!

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

I actually sat down on the chair thinking on how to repair my research proposal in written term since my lecturer had asked me to send it to her before September. Been like this since few days ago. Well sitting in front of computer more than one hour is actually a torture for our muscle and back. It hurts my back, I can't bent down and it also prevents me from joining Taraweekh congregational prayer service besides the cold and fever.

So, I had been reading about health more since health is also a grace from Allah. We should keep His trust in good condition as to make sure that we do not return this trust which is our mass without any attempt to keep it in good condition. I read articles about backpain and this is one of it. Now only, I realize that I had tormented my back. So, please dear brothers and sisters take a good care of your health and never under-estimate any pain or disease. When you have little sickness or feeling pain at any part, don't be like me feeling shy to burden people in the clinic or hospital. Right away consult your doctors! Always doing some stretching or exercise although only five minutes in a day. It would do, to prevent you from neurological diseases and other pain. It is very important.

Other than that, my roommate, Mr. Jamal has messaged me that he was coming last morning assuming that I might be keeping a scout person in the room. So, I immediately cleaned up my room and packed my hygienic stuffs for worship purpose to Azren's room inside the campus. I would like to thank Azren and expressing gratitude for sheltering me for a night, may Allah bless you with His bountiful sustenance for your kindness. You already helped me a lot. I don't know what will happen to me if you're not there. I had already spent my nights last semesters like at the mosque stairs, under trees (I did cried to Allah alone under trees and reciting stories about our patriarch Abraham and Maryam the mother of Jesus Christ sufferings around mosque's area), under huts without walls and musalla when I had problem with previous roommates in previous room. I also felt like jumping down from 10th floor when I felt like nobody was beside me but the God had prevented it with His Words (Quranic verses) that I recite everyday.     

When staying in Azren's room, I managed to stay away from computer so I have more time revising Quranic verses and reciting it alone because Azren is working. I could take a walk and having some deep breath of unadulterated morning air after Fajr prayer which reminds me of my first degree times. I listened to some excerpts of Fajr lecture after the prayer from outside of the mosque and having some deep thought in silence despite the sound wasn't so clear to my ears. I returned to Azren's room and reading copies of my research's early parts. Jotting my idea manually and watched some TV to relax my mind. It's good for our spine when we do all of these as services to the God, haha.

Then I went to the mosque again for Maghrib service from there since it is closer than when I am in my hostel far across the road outside of the campus. I thought that I would be breaking my fast alone, drinking some milk and having biscuits that I bought from Maju Jaya Sungai Dua store at a hut near the mosque. Suddenly, two servants of Allah whom are a Pakistani and an Arab brothers accompanied me with some roti and mutton gravy. They took care the Arab Bazaar just beside the hut and maybe I had disturbed their common breaking fast place. Thanks Allah that they did not chase me away, instead generously inviting me for their meal. I pray may Allah bless them and be Merciful to them for their kindness. I am a nobody and I always think that I do not deserve warm and friendly treatment. However, when brothers spontaneously showing 'mercy,' it is actually the 'grace' from Allah in their selves because 'it' is in their heart.

I am thankful to Allah, tonight I can pray together in congregational manner and not alone. Thank You dear Allah for being Merciful letting me having this opportunity. I had listened news about deaths from my mum and also from Mijie who was my previous third year degree roommate. Mijie is still there as he works as a research assistant for Geography department. Many people died at a very young age. We will also following the footstep but we do not know when as it is in His wisdom. We could only pray that He shall be Merciful to us and never leaving us alone. As for me, I am already a loner without any close friend, childhood friend, or whom ever friend it is. I only have Allah. If Allah too leaving me, then I would only taste a 'real' death :'(    

Sealed with prayers for peace, mercy, and love, amin! 

Repentance Song

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

It's tedious to type using Chinese virtual keyboard application when transcribing Chinese sounds of certain documents. Now they had changed it to strokes which is complicated compared to pinying sound. I would rather scribble it with my hand which He lends them. This one is called as zhan hui ge or repentance song. It was actually a Buddhist song in Chinese but I had adapted it a little to be more general without any religious connotation in the song except for feeling remorseful for sins and sincerity eliminating anxiety. So, this song basically is about sincerity in repentance, and it urges everyone to repent and perform charity. A memory before I burn this down to ash...

Sealed with prayers for peace, mercy, and love, amin!

Mosque View: Masjid Putrajaya at Night

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

Site view

Front gate

Stairs down to ground level which consists of imam's compartments, office, library, classes and ablution area

 Prayer hall

Wall decorations

Under the Masjid

Souq or bazaar, already closed in operation in the day

Fountain and painting stalls in front of the stair to restaurants

It looks like this when we go down the restaurants. This site is the site of mamak restaurant. Another site has Nando's chicken, Chicken Rice, and others which I could not remember though being here many times

Hope you don't feel bored and take good care of your health. I love you dad. Next time I will travel along with you if God permits it. God bless : )

No matter how beautiful a mosque is, if it is closed and out of activities, it is nothing to be proud of. Just reminding everyone, it's not trying to defame particular person na'udzubillahu min dzaalik but there is a muadzin which is a mosque staff originated from a state in Eastern coast who has some attitude problem. He would scare people away from the mosque if he continues like that. 

If anyone being insinuated or stared at by this particular guy when you are at mosque's feast, just ignore him. I don't like this kind of person insulting His sacred House scaring people away with their closed mentality and sick attitude. He had once shouted and chased a father with a little child out of the mosque during Ramadan Taraweekh service few years back then because of the child was crying in the prayer hall. His deed had put the father into great humiliation in front of other congregation. Poor father and child. The father had just said back to the inconsiderate muadzin: "I will never come to the mosque anymore!" It already turns out to be a sin. May Allah forgives everyone and guide us to righteous attitude. Other mosques' officers are nice and friendly.  

Allah please be in connection with our noble prophet Muhammad s.a.w and his family and his companions. Allah please enlight us our view with the light of Your scripture, make wide our heart, purify us our body, make easy our articulation, strengthen our honor, quicken our understanding, since there is no One who has the Strength except You dear Lord. Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!

Memory: brother Kurnia and brother Idris 2010

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

Always forgotten about these pictures although had been thinking to keep it here last time. This computer can't extract these pictures from the archives as the license is expired. Luckily that they are still there in my mail sent box. I think these pics were taken around late October of 2010 when I was in first semester doing this master. These brothers whom are brothers Kurnia and Idris are among earliest people whom I know when I returned back to USM. We live in the same hostel which is hostel in Bukit Gambir area. They are friendly guys but I just feel shy out of them due to my Chinese accent sounds weird. I dun feel shy to brother Idris since he's from Western China himself but just feel shy to non-Chinese inhabitants who also are the member of hostel's musalla congregation in which most of them are Malays.

I speak in Chinese with one of my classmate too, which is sister Ong. She's a non-Muslim though but she shares same faith with previous me last time. I don't consider myself as different from Chinese or Indian whom most Malays consider as 'immigrants' while we are the same Malaysian, haha. We have other Malay classmate which is Has but I don't feel comfortable with her.    

Bukit Bendera

 Penang view from Bukit Bendera

Black fur monkeys.

Brother Kurnia and brother Idris. Hope to see you again brother Kurnia. Thank you treating me fried noodle at Bukit Bendera. I will always remember that. Just feel sorry because I am a citizen of the host country who should honor both of you but it turns out that you honoring me, haha. I didn't get the chance to treat you. I am sad. Usually I would do that when people don't see me but both of you were right in front of me.

Penang Botanical Garden

 Monkey motherly love to its child.

Naughty monkeys. I am afraid of these primates, hahaha.

Lotus pond.

Short jungle trekking.

It was actually the idea of brother Kurnia. He suggested us to go for some sightseeing visiting places like waterfall or seaside something... to fill our free time during holiday. But it turns out that brother Idris had earlier explored Penang Botanical Park and most of places in Penang. I feel quite embarrassed because I had been here for about three years during my bachelor and I never went out from USM compound after our freshman, hehe. I just went out to Georgetown with our bachelor classmates during bachelor first semester, and few times to Sungai Petani either alone or with my classmate and only friend, Amir. Another one who sometimes accompanied us is Apai who lived in the same hostel with us but I wasn't really close to Apai. He's close to Amir.  

I think brother Kurnia has a great skill in photography because most of his pictures look good. Those monkeys were taken by him. Pictures taken by me always have that blurry image because of the wiggle, lol. These are the only pics that I have for these respective brothers since I tried to avoid people when people start to realize my existence although I wanted to hang around more with them. Feel not comfortable when people coming close to listen what language that I used when talking to brother Idris especially those Tabligh kids. Maybe they never have any experience mingling with non-Malay compatriot while in schooling time that made them feel strange? What is wrong when we speak other languages? I guess in Malaysia there is nothing to be surprised of because we adopt multiculturalism. If those from Indonesia or France feel weird, I still can accept it because they do not adopt multiculturalism to the extend like what is happening in Malaysia. I always see Malay or Indian speaking in Hokkien Chinese in Penang and I don't think that it is a peculiarity.

Please help to pray for brothers and sisters in Xinjiang and other Muslim majority provinces in China. I think brother Yunus whom I came to know in Bengal mosque is a Hui from Xinjiang. I wish their well-being and hopefully they could observe Ramadan fast without any problem. Avoid conflict with authority if possible, pray for the authority to also receive mercy and guidance from the God, insyaAllah. Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!

Some Light Medications

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

I don't frequently take analgesic medications but rely only on natural immune system. This is my first time trying Panadol Soluble and it tastes horrible unlike what my friend told me. It tastes like drinking dissolved camphor but I've got no choice. Need to get better soon or I would miss my Taraweekh like yesterday night. Yesterday I just prayed Isya' service in congregation and performing Taraweekh prayer service alone in my compartment after some sleep. Today I just tried my best to attend the service, need to counter my nausea. Afraid that I will be polluting the mosque with my gut's contents. 

When returning home from mesjid, I feel like creeping with my face on the pedestrian walk, sore headache. That's why I decided to get some medications from 7E. Today is Saturday and the free clinic inside the campus perhaps closing its door until Monday. Don't feel it's a good idea to see private clinic. They will certainly charge me more than RM15 just to check what kind of fever is this. I had experienced that when I went to a clinics in Sungai Dua for diarrhea and food poisoning. The clinic charged me RM27, Zaidi didn't even know that I was sick, hahaha. I tried not to burden him nor anyone. It is a shame to burden others. Four tablets of Panadol Soluble is about RM2.60 while Cosmopas Medicated Plaster for joints pain is about RM2.50. Check the price and quality before taking anything, don't waste in our expenditure.  

Sometimes when we have sickness or facing musibat, it means that Allah loves us. Human hates musibat and musibat are such things like death, illnesses, pain, sorrow, failure in life, and etc. We can't escape these facts, it is apart of the cycle of life. When we face all of these, it denotes that He wanted us to reflect whether our conduct is according to prescribed manner in the glorious Quran or in the opposite. He is evaluating our faith and patience like our prophets had crossed by before.  When we face musibat, we would recite prayer like ...innaalillahi wa innaa ilaihi raaji'un. It means, "indeed that we are from the God and indeed to Him shall we return" (al-Baqarah: 156). It reminds us that He is with us no matter when we are in pleasure or happiness. Everything happens is through His decree, we accept the divine pre-destiny.

However, we also have to have some efforts to stay healthy in order to worship Him in our daily life. Everything in this life is a test for us. The biggest test for us is death. No matter if we believe in the God or not, death is natural causes or caused by the God, it still will reach us. It does not matter whether we are choosing to spend our life with or without any conduct, living according to whatever we feel right. Death will still come to us, nobody in this material universe could escape it : )  

Dear Lord, our God, I love You though sometimes I might forget and asking why You are giving these to me. As a worthless servant and slave I have no right to question You who is the Greatest in Wisdom. I seek Your forgiveness dear Lord on my wrong conducts today and before. Please forgive me my sins and blessed be brethren in faith, dear Lord. Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!    

Reminder: Drink Lots of Water to Avoid Dehydration

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

Peace be upon brethren in soul. This is just a reminder and a community service. Please drink lots of plain water while you break your fast or while having pre-dawn meal. Ramadan is a month which is dry and a little bit hot. It is good to consume less food but we must take lots of water to remove excessive heat.

Though some of us are living in the northern hemisphere but I am sure you also have to deal with dry climate just like here in the southern hemisphere. I was affected by fever now because of the lack of water consumption. Make sure that your health is in good condition while observing fast. When we are in sickness and in pain, make sure that we are in wudhu' (ablution), recite the testimony of faith toward Allah and His messenger the noble prophet Muhammad s.a.w, recite salawat (prayer) blessings for noble prophets Muhammad and Ibrahim, say repentance astaghfirullahal'azeem (I seek forgiveness from You dear the Great God) and anoint some olive oil if we keep it with us. I have joints pain because of this fever. Olive tree is a blessed tree mentioned in glorious Quran, surah at-Teen and olive oil could be used as an external ointment.

I remembered during I was in form 5 just few weeks before the Malaysian Examination Certificate (SPM) where I was affected by dengue. My joints felt so pain, almost passed out alone across the road at my school in Semenyih after finishing classes. I was admitted to hospital. No friends nor relatives visited me. I was alone in the ward with another dengue patient. I don't know what happened to him, after he was brought out when blood appears at his skin, may Allah bless him no matter where he is. My parents and other sisters were busy with elder sister's delivering her first son which is my nephew. He is now eight years old and I love him though never showing it to him nor anyone. I was just thinking about death at that time. It happens before I fully return to the Path and actually many sad events happened since we were young kids. So, when we see a rebel kid, don't quickly judge him or her. He or she might be facing problems in life and we don't know about that because we don't live with them. Regarding dengue, it affects us without we realize so make sure that we go for medical check-up when we feel unbearable heat and pain at joints. These are among symptoms before we realize that we're actually affected by dengue. It is notoriously affecting those in the area of peat land, usually the area with palm plantation in tropical climate. Every hour, nurse would bring syringe with needle to get our blood to be tested. Blood and water would be pumped into our vein.

These practices of faith testimonial and asking forgiveness during in sickness is just a preparation. Who knows He might send His noble angel of death to invite us. Some people like those who just blindly follow their sheikh might accuse this and that as bida'ah (innovation). We always do investigation first, never listen to hear says because sheikhs are not the God. We accuse Jew or Christian counterparts as deviating because they are listening to their cohens and priests like listening to the God but what is our difference when we accuse others' practices because we blindly follow our sheikhs? Whatever Allah says in His glorious Word is also reminders for us. Aren't we too the ahlul kitaab? What is the glorious Quran? Isn't it a kitaab (celestial scripture) too?  

Other than that, perhaps I had wronged the brother whom I gave shelter to and I might be under kaffarah (punishment). Feel sorry for him but my elderly roommate can't tolerate others to scout in the room even though he only comes here once in a blue moon. I already had problems with three previous elderly roommates and I don't want any now especially when it is almost close to the new year. I have to ask the brother to leave through another brother from his movement because I don't want to hurt his feeling. Well he might also forgotten that I am not his roommate and he is illegally scouting. I am also housing his stuffs and other two brothers stuffs on the rack and under the desk. I didn't have any intention to blame him nor looking down at his movement but think that he could also take this as a lesson when he deals with others in the future. Orang memberi kita merasa, orang berbudi kita berbahasa. This is a Malay idiom which means politeness and grateful is always our priority. When this problem happens, it also affects my rituals or responsibilities and it is a cause for me to enrage because the time is killing us.

I would say that I am quite particular regarding adab (civilized manner) and prophetic sunnah (tradition) though I don't wear any religious attire for my faith identification. Nobody would sense my religion when I am outside besides a male do not have to wear hijab (veil). I had already tried my best to serve brother no matter what their movement is and we just known each other less than a year. I am not an easy person to be made a friend, but once a friend I would serve others like a soul brother or sister. It's just a habit. Some of these people here had also, could I say deceived me but never mind. I am just an ordinary human-being, they're also human-being. No one is perfect and I understand that. I could only apologize to him on my weaknesses and limitation. Hope that he won't take it seriously. Wish that everyone spiritually enjoy in worshiping Him today and in this blessed month.   

O Lord our God, please forgive us our sins. Forgive our brethren in faith and in soul sins. Send us Your beautiful Mercy o the One who is Merciful over others. Please be in contact with our noble prophet Muhammd s.a.w and his family and his companions, dear Lord. Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!

Sahur in Hostel Ramadan 12th

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

Hahaha, it's quite fun having sahur (predawn-meal) alone. No one to see on how I eat whether I eat like a sungkur tak pernah makan setahun or in polite sopan santun cover manner. Without we realize time working so fast and it is now 12th of Ramadan. Just wake up every morning at 4:30 and having some vegetarian meals such as wholemeal bread, pickled mixed vegetables, ghee and some hua nan tsai (green mustards) in the can. These kind of food reminds me when I was a follower of lord Buddha teaching. Perhaps, his teaching was also influenced by Ahimsa philosophy. I refused meat too last time though it is not a must for a Buddhist. Raya Haji takut lah banyak sembelih daging (Eiduladha was a nightmare), lol.

Green mustard. Simply long time not taking any vegetables asyik makan ayam ja.

These food are classified as pure unadulterated kind of food which they called as sattawah. However I believe I have some ginger, onion, lime and lehsun (garlic) in my pickled vegetable because it tastes pungent and sharp. So, it's not really pure lacto-vegetarian meal as there are stimulator. Some ginger, onion, or garlic are good to drive out blockage in our nose however it is less good than sattawah. This is not sunnah prescribed food but some of it might be in coincidence the same. This classification is made by Brahmins and Yogis of ancient India. They are good in traditional medicinal food and herbs. Their medical tradition had spread as far as Persia in the West and South East Asia in the East.

 

 Garlic, it is good for consumption if we have cholesterol or hypertension problem.

For drink I had some tea mixed with some fresh milk and honey. I can't keep food long here as I have no fridge so it is quite difficult for me to store fresh stuffs. It would be wasting if I have to throw foods away after they become rotten once they're due while only having some of it. So, we have to think for solution to get some balanced nutrients and in the same time minimizing wasting through some budget that we have. I listed down all of the yogic prescribed food in the paper wherever I could recall and checking the price at the market before buying stuffs. Make sure we plan everything. Maybe our plan would not be according to what we planned but at least make some plans to get along with the budget. It is better than nothing. 

Fresh ginger is good to clear up mucus that blocking our nose but it is a stimulant. We can see some strict Chinese Buddhist adhering to vegetarianism and some Orthodox Hindus avoid ginger too.

Perhaps I need to consider getting some powder milk too. Fresh milk is expensive. A small box of fresh milk might cost around RM1.70. Medium size fresh milk say of Dutch Lady brand would cost me around Rm3.30. How could we maintain our nutrients balanced in the same time with minimum budget yah?

Left to right: pickled cucumber, pickled mixed vegetables, honey, windmill gheeblend, and dutch lady fresh milk for both pre-dawn meal and breaking the fast.

 Roti Gardenia, wholemeal to counter the effect of ghee. Who knows we might be caught with heart disease because ghee has some cholesterol in a tablespoon, rich in vitamins like vitamin A and D, helps in vitamin and minerals absorption. Too much of vitamin A is not good for liver. Tu ada tanda halal Jakim, tak kuasa lah nak periksa tanda halal tu kat benda-benda remeh begini. Tiap-tiap tahun pun nak kena perbaharui licence or certification here. Cara yang baik nak mencekik duit dari orang perseorangan n organizations. 

So, this is how some of us 'local' Malaysian students spending in food and beverage especially when we have no support from loaning institution such as PTPTN or getting scholarship from MARA or JPA. If not all but at least some people could know what we're going through in the midst of chosen students studying abroad could get benefits like traveling allowances to release tense and others although their difficulties would be in another form. Nak makan pun kena berkira dengan diri sendiri. When I was a 9 years old little kid, I had almost died starving too when we moved back to Kedah. We had no food, no money, clumsy situation after suddenly moving in to new place and this country is not an under-developed country but the lack of nutrient problem is everywhere.

It's not easy to attain all of those fussy financial help, even zakat. I don't take zakat and would never take it. I am talking on the behalf of other students who really need them. I don't take food at the mosque too in order to give way for others who need them more than myself. I still can survive with minimum consumption of food. What pusat zakat could do is to come down and talking with students or individuals, checking on whether these people really need help or assistance, and not to comfortably rear their ass in their airconditioned office. It is the responsibility and trust from brothers and sisters when orang pusat zakat and religious departments take the job, bukan makan gaji buta and relying on the subsidy sahaja. If everyone could be considerate, compassionate, considering that every soul has their rights before Allah and helping each other, at least the issue such as riddah (apostacy) or feast at the Methodist church could be avoided. There is of no use to blame those Protestants nor commenting on how weak is some people's faith. It is very easy to judge people and living in denial, orang Kedah kata mulut ringan jah wok kluaq kata-kata macam taik lembu selepok. Non-Muslim NGOs are quite active in social work. I noticed that Tzu Chi Buddhist Association is also active.
 

As for expenditure, not all of local students are using money without checking on the capacity because most of us are poor. Some who take post-graduate have to leave their job because of full time classes not only by research and it is not easy to deal with the schedule wherever we are not certain with something. It creates unstable situation where most people could not understand and putting these people into the same situation like them. Not all people are fortunate. We could ask people to learn about happy life all we want to forget the problem or for them not to bother our comfortable life but we can't run from the fact that we are sharing the air and earth with everyone. What would we do if we are in other people's situation? That is the question that we need to ask to ourselves when we talk about others.

Undeniably there are many irresponsible students out there who spend money as it is easy for them to get. I always mumbling at my sisters especially those who love to waste their money for unnecessary things and buying expensive things while there are also cheaper alternatives for that. Allah forgive us our false speech, forgive us our sins in thought and acts. Scripture time, self reflection time...

Sealed with prayer for peace, mercy and love, amin!