The only memory in Sarawak survives

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

Sadly, this is the only memory during my visit in Serawak saved. I visited few places of worship like mosques and churches around Kuching in the end of March and during Easter holy week in 2010 before I continue my postgraduate degree in USM again.  It is not only a visit for sightseeing because I had been to all of the states in the peninsula from northern to south and from west to the east coast. That time I thought of going to another side of Malaysia in Borneo island. Now, I just have a state which is Sabah that I still haven't reach yet.

I love Serawak although they do not permit us from the peninsula to enter the state freely and I took lots of pictures but when I sent my computer to be repaired they had wiped everything out even after I told them to take care of my D files. I was so frustrated T T

Masjid al-Muttaqin  March 2010

 The fence dividing ladies' prayer sides and gentlemens' in the main prayer hall

 Podium for sermon by the preacher during communal prayers, a very unique pillar

 Left side in the prayer hall

Interesting ceiling with contemporary lamps

These pictures are the pics of Masjid al-Muttaqin in Kampung Buntal. I guess it is the sub-urban area of Kuching but I don't know if the village is already in other district because Serawak is so huge. The interior side is quite beautiful with colorful paints and calligraphy of scriptures on the wall while the outer side had lost the paint maybe because of climate and not painted again. I saw few kids playing at compound of the mosque.

I miss Koloh Mee and had lost the picture too. They have beautiful waterfront and towns in the city. I also have nice memory crossing the river with boats to other side of the city for the musalla in Kampung Surabaya to pray for maghrib service after listening to some sermon in St. Thomas Anglican church during Easter Eve. I can't find any mosque in Kuching town and only realized that the mosques exist at the edge of the town. I found a unique Indian mosque in between shop lots alley and Kuching city mosque which is located high above the hill in the city.

Then I remember I visited museums in the city and being chased out by the officers in the museum because I had forgotten to turn off the flash while snapping the pics, haha. Such a nice visit I don't know if I would ever reach Serawak again to snap beautiful pictures again. Sealed with prayers for peace and love. 

Characters of a prophet and a messenger of Allah

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

This is actually the session for us to recall what we had learned during our schooling time. I believe every muslims learned about these no matter they were schooled in religious schools or in secular schools especially in Malaysia where we have Islamic Education classes but I wonder how many of us bother to memorize all of these at least for their own selves and at least they could answer others' when they ask?

A prophet and a messenger of the God actually possess and displayed prophethood characteristics since their toddler time. The particular person already had those characteristics before he received revelation from the God. They must also possess these characteristics:

1. Siddiq (truth)

It indicates that a prophet and a messenger of the God must be speaking and acting the truth.

2. Amanah (trustworthiness)

He must be a person trusted by others, and trustworthy in keeping the trust of others.

3. Fathanah (intelligent)

He could comprehend everything that happened around him.

4. Tabligh (conveying)

A prophet and a messenger of the God must convey the message to others, so if they do not convey the message then they failed to fulfill the responsibility from the God for their ordination thus doesn't deserve to be known as a messenger of the God.

A prophet and a messenger of the God is impossible possessing these characteristics:

1. Kizzib (liar) 

A prophet and a messenger of the God is never a liar. 

2. Khianah (betrayer)

A prophet and a messenger of the God never betrays others.

3. Balid (imbecile)

The God would never ordain an imbecile to be a prophet and a messenger of the God but He knows who are the best person to be chosen in conveying His message and love to His slaves and servants.

4. Kitman (hiding)

A prophet and a messenger of the God would never hide the message of the God from others because he functions to transmit the teaching of the God to the nation.

Believing in the prophets and messengers of the God is the fourth pillar of sunnah orthodox Islamic faith. The God is protecting and guiding these people acts and words. They are ma'asum which means they are innocent and protected from sins and errors in every aspect of speech, morality, and daily life. But as to say, they are not gods. The God would never have to protect Himself from sins because He is the Most Perfect amongst all. How could we check all of these characteristics whether they fit or not to every individuals mentioned in few posts? We need the help of Quran and Qisaasul Anbiyaa'. Hope it benefits me myself and brothers and sisters that I love with all of my heart.

Sealed with prayers for peace and love. May Allah grants us some knowledge from His infinite knowledge. We pray so that Allah would guide everyone with His guidance and light of truth. May we learn the knowledge of Quran and Sunnah with our heart pure to receive His blessings and making us closer to Him. May He opens our heart to know Him and giving us the goodness in the world that would also be useful in the hereafter, aamin!!!

Ulul 'Azmi

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

When we already know about who are the 25 prophets and messengers of the God. So, what is this ulul 'azmi? I had stumbled on few complaints by some non-Muslim or revert brothers and sisters. Those in western world and english speaking world are alsoo complaining. What are the meaning of some terms used by these muslims while we couldn't understand what are they talking about. So, basically I am trying to help out those fellow brethren.

This is according to my understanding, but if they appear to be a bit wrong please forgive me dear brothers and sisters in Islam. I am also learning and I am not embarrassed of receiving comments and correction. I love those who help me out and correcting me. I understand how revert brothers and sisters feeling when we couldn't understand what are these terms mean because we just begin to learn about the religion. Even when we are exposed to the religion since our childhood time, that doesn't signify that we know everything, right?  

So, basically ulul 'azmi means the prophets and messengers of the God who works hard and facing difficulties with patience and great perseverance in their mission conveying the message of the God to the nation. They worked hard and performing jihad in implementing His teachings in their society although being mocked, laughed at, being accused as lunatics, accused as magicians, the people hurt their feelings, and etc. 

So, western civilized and french secular friends, jihad doesn't always mean holy war as what had been notoriously popularized in the media today. When the Catholic's Jesuit and Franciscan missions coming to South East Asia and evangelizing the natives around 15th C, they were also performing jihad to ungodly people who doesn't believe or doesn't even know about the crucifixion of the Christ according to Catholic creed.  When the Portuguese trying to evangelize and converting the Nazarenes of Malabar Coast in Southern India because they are not Christians according to Latin rites, the Portuguese were also performing jihad.

This is what happened when we teach arabic to people while we do not even know the root word that forms the verb in certain language or its grammar let alone being the believer in the religion.  I don't have to be a Hindu to understand their philosophies and I would never lie about them nor insult their intelligence like what I had seen in few silly websites regarding Islam when the heart is full of hatred and ignorance.

Who are the ulul 'azmis? They are:

1. Nuh (Noah) 

2. Ibrahim (Abraham)

3. Musa (Moses)

4. Isa (Jesus)

5. Muhammad (saw)

Why they are classified like this? Because they had faced difficulties and tests from the God with great patience and perseverance. The tests and difficulties faced by them are actually unbearable and greater compared to what had been faced by other prophets and messengers of the God. How do we know? Very long story where we need to read the Qisaasul Anbiyaa and then we would know why. As for prophet Muhammad (saw), his life is so interesting. He has no close friends too when he was a young man, meditating alone in Hiraa' cave and when I read about him as a seven years old kid, I had great faith but I didn't know how my faith slipped away from my heart when I began to grow up and I didn't know how I could forget the sufferings and torment faced by this great prophet that I read from the kitaab when I was a kid. 

I regret many kids today know about Justin Bieber or other artists but when we ask them about these basic things regarding our religion, they would hesitatingly answer us. It's not only others but also myself. I would spit myself for neglecting these basic things first and praying for His love and mercy to others may everyone be blessed with knowledge, guidance, and success.    

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aali Muhammad ka-maa sallaita 'ala Ibrahim wa 'ala aali Ibrahim. Wa baarik 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aali Muhammad ka-maa sallaita 'ala Ibrahim wa 'ala aali Ibrahim. Fil 'aalamiina innaka hamiidum-majiid! Allah please be in contact with our holy prophet Muhammad (saw) and his family as You had been in contact with our patriarch Ibrahim and his family. Allah please bless our prophet Muhammad (saw) and his family as You had blessed our patriarch Ibrahim and his family. In our knowledge and be known to the world, You are indeed the One entitled for the praises and nobility!!!

Iman in prophets and messengers of Allah

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

Iman or faith in the prophets and messengers of the God is among the conclusion in our pillars of faith. In arabic, prophet is called as nabi. While for the messenger of the Lord, we call it as rasul.

A prophet basically means someone who has the ability to see or perceive whatever behind the metaphysical boundary of other fellow human-being. He is a person who has the connection or contacts with other supernatural entity. In english, the translation for nabi is prophet.  

In Islam, prophet terminologically means a man who receives the revelation from the God but was ordered to practice what had been revealed among their family members, clan, and tribe. They were not ordered to spread the teaching to other nations or the whole world.

Some people might call these kind of people as sages or teachers. As for the hindus and the buddhist, they are calling these kind of people as the teachers or sages who talked or inspired by the devas (gods and angels). For example they have maharishi Vaalmiki who composed the Ramayanna Kawiyam. 

For Siddhartha Gautama who had challenged the authority of Brahmannau (Brahmins) who generally controlled the ritual life of the people around the Ariya Varttam and Indus civilization during his enlightment period. As in Buddhism, Buddha has another title which is khuru (guru) which means someone who tries to enlight others in the darkness after they received enlightment. The God is out of any mention by Buddhists but only on morality. Siddharth Gautama only reached buddhahood or enlightment after a long tapa (meditation) under a Bodhi tree.

There are many teachers, rishis (sages), saints in Hinduism. So does Buddhism where there are many gurus and buddhas but Buddhism is considered as anastika (agnostic) Hinduism. And Hinduism means anything that emerges from Indus civilization whether it is in the form of culture, customs, beliefs, philosophies and others. Before Buddhism, there was actually another teaching known as Jaina taught by a person whose name is Mahavira. Enough said about the comparison on what I understood from my experience as a confused young man.

In the meanwhile, rasul in Islam means a man who receives revelation from the God but was ordered to universally convey the teachings of the God to the whole nations and the world for a certain period or era so that everybody receives the message from Him. In Islam, there are men who are just a prophet but not a messenger of the God and there are also a man who holds these two titles like where they were a prophet and also a messenger of the God.

Sometimes brethren in humanity, we may hear that muslims including myself calling the holy prophet Muhammad (saw) as rasulullah. It means that he is the messenger of the God. He is the prophet and the messenger of the God for this period and era which is known as the period or era of near resurrection. The teachings transmitted through him will be valid from the time he received gradual revelations from the God period until the resurrection happens according to the prophecy in our scripture which is the noble Quran. That is also why he is called as the seal of the nubuwwah (prophethood). The period of near resurrection is actually marked just after the era of prophet Isa (as).

We do not only believe in the prophethood of Muhammad (saw). We believe in others' prophethood as well. Some of them are from the children of Israel while others are from the ancient Arab tribes and nations. As a Muslim, how many prophets and messengers of the God that I need to at least know and recognize? I need to at least know about 25 prophets and messengers. These 25 people are in the same time, a prophet and also a messenger of the God. These names of prophets and messengers of the God are also good names for a muslim's sons.

1. Adam 2. Idris (Enoch) 3. Nuh (Noah) 4. Hud 5. Saleh 6. Ibrahim (Abraham) 7. Lut (Lot) 8. Isma'il (Ishmael) 9. Ishaq (Isaac) 10. Ya'akob (Jacob) 11. Yusuf (Joseph) 12. Ayyub (Job) 13. Zulkifli 14. Syu'aib (Jethro) 15. Musa (Moses) 16. Harun (Aaron) 17. Dawud (David) 18. Sulayman (Solomon) 19. Ilyas (Elijah) 20. Ilyasa' (Elisha') 21. Yunus (Jonah) 22. Zakaria (Zechariah) 23. Yahya (John) 24. 'Isa (Jesus) 25. Muhammad (saw).  

These 25 prophets and messengers of the God are the ones that we have faith in according to our articles of faith in the pillars of faith. Others are only prophets of the God which their names are not mentioned in the Quran but they were also prophets of the God to their tribes and nation during their era and period of time.

One thing that I would like to mention here. Not all in the 25 prophets and messengers of the God in the list displayed here are from the children of Israel. From Adam (as) to Nuh (as), these prophets have no racial or tribal identification. Nuh was the father of the Semites. Hud and Saleh are both of ancient Arab tribes and classified under Semitic branch of people. They are not Israelites. Hud was a prophet and messenger of the God to the 'Ads whom are an Arabian tribes in southern Arabia. While Saleh was ordained by the God to the Tsamud in northern part of Arabian peninsula. Syu'aib was from ancient Arab nation called classified as the Levants. All of these prophets and messengers of the God are the Semites but I am not sure about Ayyub because some mufassirin (commentators) said that he is the father of the Romans.

Once upon a time during my childhood time, I love to read the translation of Qisasul Anbiyaa' (the stories of prophets) and I still remember some of the stories. Later when I was sent to Perlis and feeling angry with my family for sending me away that I began to approach jataka tales learning about the avataram (incarnations) of the Buddha before he ends his samsara cycle, lectures about the teachings from phra acharn (teachers), and phra phor (fathers) to forget my sadness because I was not so close to relatives there.  So, I tried to find other alternatives and those who could accept me without criticizing me for my pathetic self because folks in the village have this attitude where they could be destructive when they have evil intention to anyone, they would try to harm others even with their words and I was just a 13 years old lil' kid.

Then I also began to be exposed to Advaita teachings and philosophies when I was in upper six because I had contact with Indian students as the majority of my classmates were hindus but at that time I had already return to the religion and the faith of our fathers, Islam. I learned many things from the hajj rituals, praise be only to Allah, my dear Lord!!!!

May Allah forgives us our sin. May He place our souls among the souls of the faithful servants and fearful to Him. I am looking to see other servants of the God who sacrificed for His sake with love and peace. May He accept our humble du'as, aaamin!!      

Simple remembrance after prayer services

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

Dear brothers and sisters, especially those english speaking ones. After we finished our salaat or prayer services whether alone or with a congregation in the mosque, home, musalla, and anywhere. It is also a good time for us to make supplications to Him where we may ask anything that we would like Him to grant to us with manner and politeness.

Before we start the supplications dear brothers and sisters in faith, we may want to recite some dzikr or remembrance in order to focus our mind to Him so we won't think about other things except Him since He is the One that we are going to ask for some thing.

They are very simple brothers and sisters. You may just chant few dzikrs if you could not perform the longer version of ma'thurat due to that being occupied with other things. You may chant these for prayer services like dzuhr and 'asr since the times are usually the time where we are occupied with other things. However, firstly clear our mind and begin to focus on Him. Begin our dzikr with:

Seeking forgiveness from the God: I seek forgiveness from the God the Greatest, where there is no One except Him who is the living God and standing without any help from others and I repent to Him! 3x

Proclaiming there is no gods but only the God: There is no gods except for the God, He is alone without any partners, for Him the possession of the vast kingdoms (universe), and for Him praises and He has the power over everything! 3 x 

Seeking protection from the torments: O Lord our God, salvate us from the hell! 3 x

Seeking the peacefulness and tranquility: O Lord our God, You are the Peace, and from You comes the peacefulness, and to You all the peacefulness return, and You had given life to us o our Lord, with Your peacefulness, and place us into the paradise full of peacefulness, blessed be You o our Lord, and exalted be You o Lord, who possesses the Dignity and the Honor! 

Recite al-Fatihah and the verse 255 from al-Baqarah.

Chant the dzikrs:

O God our Lord: Glory be to You! 33 x

And, praises be to You! 33 x

The God is the Greatest! 33 x

The God is the Greatest and He is the Biggest of all, and all of the praises only for Him, and glory be to Him in the morning and in the evening, there is no gods except the God, and there is no power and the strength except with the God who is the Most Highest and the Most Great!

Then we may start our supplications whether in arabic or in our mother tongue that we are comfortable with. We may chant the supplications after the salaat in chinese, urdu, farsi, english, hausa, zulu, swahili, or whatever language that we know or understand. 

So do not worry much. In our country, Malaysia it is a bit different because some people might feel it is a necessity to use arabic in supplications. It is ok to memorize the supplications in arabic but also make sure we understand what we are asking from the Lord : )  

Sealed with prayers for peace and love. May brothers and sisters benefit from the meaning of these chants and try to at least learn the arabic chant for these so you may also enjoy the languages created by the God for everyone to know each other and to be friends in peace.

Night in musalla on 28th May 2001

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

Quite sad, I could feel the musalla being left behind after there is no tablighi and islamic center kids like Shuhaimi or his friend, Ridhuan. These two kids had just returned home yesterday. Well, it is semester break, of course the musalla and even mosque would have less people in the congregation. 

There was only three or four persons at that musalla and I had to take the charge to conduct the prayer services at the evening and night since nobody wanted to volunteer.  I hate that when people notice my presence around them but that doesn't mean that I hate people around. Instead I admire them and I love them just like I love the prophets, the companion of prophets, the family of prophets and others. They are in sacred place where it is full with His love and peace.

 Musalla Tekun Desa at my current hostel, i love you musalla ;-)

It's not really easy to be an imam although it is just for salaat because I feel the burden of sins on my shoulder. I don't know about others feeling, but that is how I feel. That is why I respect those who take charge in conducting the congregational prayer services like brother Firdaus, brother Zaidi my ex-roomate, and many others. They are indeed courageous.

After the prayers, I stayed back at the musalla just to muse myself. Thinking about my sins in the day whether I had wronged His creatures and whether I had misunderstood His taqdeer (whatever is fated) on me. I also managed to strengthen my memorization of surah al-Mulk in the musalla so that is a good thing for me, all praises only directed to Him. It is among good suras and I love to listen to anyone reciting this surah because it is also good for them. The Lord would release us from the torments in the grave while waiting for the Judgement to come especially when we recite it before sleeping.

I heard brother Firdaus reciting the surah in salaat when he was in charge conducting the services before this semester break and before I followed brother Husaimi to Sri Petaling markaz that day, and it is very cool!!! I wanted to listen to him again but I am afraid that I would make him annoyed apart of feeling embarrassed I may appear to be like a three years old kid begging for something. Sincerely, he recites most of the suras very well and I am speaking the truth. 

No matter who recites this surah and other surah which is ad-Dukhaan, I would stay there to listen until they finish because it is awesome and it reminds me about death, His creations, His torments and threats if we forget Him. I don't have gold nor silver to give to those who recite this, but I believe He would reward those who recite the Quran and thanks to those who indirectly helping me reciting the surah. You don't know how much that I had learned from you.

I had also found my late grandpa ma'athurat. It is a ma'thurat by the Perlis state government. I would memorize it firstly for His sake and secondly to honor my late grandpa because I had sinned him and thirdly to benefit my times remembering Him, His Will. Sealed with prayers for love and peace to all of fellow creatures of the God.    

Harapan Lake

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

These are some natural scenaries amongs the creations of the God in the university at harapan lake. I couldn't believe my eyes now that the place looks quite beautiful compared to when I was there, maasya-Allah! I feel a lil' bit scared looking at the monitor lizards roaming around too. They are everywhere even on the trees. These monitor lizards also gave the lake its nickname, which is tasik biawak.

The scene from beside Harapan desasiswa, not really far from masjid. There is an anthill there and a place to keep sports stuffs under the roof there. I believe they had cleaned this side of lake up because last time it was so filthy. 

Harapan desa, I wanted to shift to this desa during ramadhan 2010 because it would be easier for me to reach my classes but I feel sorry for a brother from china. I thought that he had no company in the musalla or to go to masjid for tarawieh prayers so I stayed there in my current desa till now. 

I would only approach those who are alone and being a company for them until they find other friends and companies for themselves and I would later leave them because a personal friend could not be a friend to many. I guess I am this type of being a personal friend and usually waiting for those who are unfortunate or lonely because I could understand the feeling. I can't be a friend for many, maybe that's just me.

I love the tree especially when it is not so sunny so we could see the tree looks like standing in peace on that island. I had been on that island when I walked with few friends that I know during our first year bachelor degree times. 

This is the side of the lake near Aman desa, the hostel where I lived for three years during my bachelor degree. I seldom return home and usually return during the second semester break which is quite long. We may choose this way to go to the mosque during Friday communal prayer and also other prayer services if we do not want to be seen by people we know because for a person like me, I don't have any transportation and just walking and doing anything in primitive ways. Some might think that I am weird and couldn't understand me.

To be honest, I don't have any ability like others to possess anything because when I do something I would only do the thing in pure intention and never mix it with my personal preferences even if I have to burden myself. If I borrow the money from someone for a certain purpose, then it would only be for that purpose. I would never violate the oath, it is a part of convenant to be His loyal servant! 

These are monitor lizards. They had been here for generations. The older generations died out and the new ones emerge. There are also lots of fishes living in the ecosystem. I have to avoid these lizards because I am afraid that they would eat me out, hehe. Maybe they are not interested in a skeleton but who knows, they had been living in the lake and might feel bored. What if they wanted to try a nice skeleton soup???!!!

And I end up my post about these creatures of the God with prayers for peace and love. No matter to trees, to monitor lizards, to fishes, to insects, to other visible and invincible creatures of the God living around me. I pray for you may you be blessed with His boundless and infinite grace, love and peace, aamiiin!!!!!!

Memory in Aman Desa

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

I had not take any pictures of mine in the university when I was in my first degree. I did not have the opportunity to get a camera nor expensive phone with camera like other kids. When I was jobless just after my graduation, my dad had actually tried to persuade me to be a reporter. I guess he has this dream to see at least one of his children inherit his occupation but I don't really like the job.

He brings me to his friend who is an editor in Jalan Riong, but I am not really interested as I am just following him to make him happy. Then my dad's friend suggested me to be a stringer under the supervision of Putrajaya branch. I had only been there for two weeks and I can't take it anymore. I have no transportation and to be a reporter, we need to have a transport like a motorcycle or a car. I didn't get my payment for two weeks. Urmm that's normal because I left earlier than the time and I had to withdraw some savings that I have to buy a camera for the job in the first place. This is how I get the camera, from the saving. May Allah protects the camera, aamin!  

We do had photography sessions for our class during first degree times, but I didn't join them. Our class was divided to few groups and tribes. I and my friend, Amir was amongst the outcast in the class. It is not that we are lazy guts or skipping classes but we did not mingle with other classmates. I actually mingled with some of them like Azren and other chinese students but not as close friends for activities together. Azren is my acquaintance from Putrajaya and we were once schoolmates in SMK Putrajaya I during our lower six.  

 USM Masjid, this is the place where I cried to Him and reading scriptures during bachelor time. I have no other place to talk about my problems faced in this temporary life. Usually some brothers breaking their optional thursday and monday fast or obligatory fast of ramadhan under the tree there.

Today I had only followed my basic plan which is reading the scripture in the mosque and praying congregational prayers for dzuhr and 'asr services. I had a chat with a kelantanese brother who is the driver of the circulatory bus and he talked about university students and job. I am not really interested in job-talking but I respect him as a person older than me. He can speak in kedahan dialect so fair enough. I don't have to talk in others' language but in my own language that makes me feel lot more comfortable with myself.

 O Lord, lead me my dirty feet to You when I am without any guidance concerning this life, aaamin!

After dzuhr prayer service in the mosque, I went to a stall at Sungai Dua and having my lunch there. Quite expansive for a plate of rice, it costs me about rm5. Then I walked myself to desasiswa aman because I did not know where to head to. I have no friend at this time to at least being a company to discuss or listening to stories. Azren returns to KL to attend our bachelor degree classmate's wedding. I had been in aman desa for many times since I returned to usm. I have some memories there. I love the hostel compared to our classes when I was a bachelor degree student, it is like my sanctuary. But now everything turns to be different.

Block KO2 Aman Desa

I was a student in usm for the first time on 7th of July 2006. I lived in block KO2 desasiswa aman with the punggawa (warden) who is known as Mr. Nazru. I lived for a full year with Riduan from Kota Bharu. He is a year older than me and I heard everyone calls him duwe so I just imitate them calling him as duwe too. I don't like him to sneak with my notes on my desk when I was asleep. I could still listen to anything that happened around although I could not open up my eyes. I do not know what is so curious about me that he wants to investigate everything on my desk. I know he is a good guy, just didn't feel comfortable with his attitude. 

Aman desa canteen, I still remember the campaign for first year campus election at night was quite funny with naughty seniors cracking jokes and makin' fun of the candidates, haha. Mama is not there anymore, she sells fried noodles and other fried food with her husband at the most right lot in the pic. Most of times our past time idol, Nasrowi also hanging around there, haha.

When I was in the first year, duwe was a second year student and he was a political science student. I was a translation and interpretation student under the school of humanities but I didn't really sure what exactly my course was about because it was like a loose course. I lived in the first floor and I can't really remember who was the neighbors of my room. 

I just remember few people like nasrowi jusuh who lived in front of my room. He was a product technology student from Pasir Puteh, Kelantan. He seldom talked with people and quite weird but he has a style of his own. Amir was the one who realized about him and he talked about this guy's style to me. We were just 20 years old kids back then, haha. And then we had syed sobri from Kuala Pilah. I was not so close to him, he is close to Amir and he admires amir so much. We called him apai.

As for amir, he was the first one who came to talk with me. I still remember that when I was in the class, I was just a silent 20 years old guy. I didn't talk with others but just observing them. Then during our two weeks semester break, I came back earlier to the hostel. I didn't know that amir was a neighbor with a gap of two rooms after my room. One day, I heard someone knocked the door of my room. When I opened up, amir just slipped into my room and said that he feels boring and his roomate is out of nowhere. He needs to talk to someone. So since then, we became close in class or in the hostel.

We would have some chats and talking nonsense at the TV place. Sometimes we exchanged vocabs due to that I am an outer-state kedahan and I was just aware about old words but not new jargons and terms used by kids in kedah today. Sometimes I listened to him talking about metal music and bands. Amir is from Jitra in the northern part of Kedah.

 Block KO1 where we had to move into in 2nd year after being chased out from the building just next to it

During our second year, we had to move out from KO2 to KO1 to give way for SUKSIS (police) and PALAPES (army) students. We hate them after that for snatching our rooms. Then I lived with zaidi from kota bharu. He was also a quiet kid. The same age with me but he was from ma'ahad muhammadi. They were still with old system where students of the ma'ahad have to be in arabic preparation class before joining i'dadi level. So, in the beginning I had been quite a bully as I thought he was younger than me. Most of the times we would pray together in the room and he reads Quran in the morning. We would also pray in the musalla at the second level of the block. I actually love to have such a roomate, and I always listen to his reading although I pretend like I was sleeping. 

Zaidi wasn't a talkative person, at least with me. I understand him and I had also talked with him regarding this. Maybe he feels not comfortable to talk with a person who speaks different lingo. But now I guess I have the same problem with him too until some kids in my current hostel had also told me to mingle around with others, haha. At least he is luckier for having friends to do activities together. Sometimes I just love to be naughty and annoyed him. In the first place, I thought that he was a member of jama'at-e-tabligh because I saw him sitting together with those people in aman's musalla. For few early months I was with him that I know, he wasn't one of the jama'at. I could say that I enjoyed living with zaidi. He is a blessing from God to me for that time. The reason I could still survive in the university is because of the spirit shared among the people around. We do not have to be totally the same in everything, but at least we have something in common which is Him.

In second year too, kedahan students like pak ku aloq starq, pidot (firdaus) sungai petani, jan pendang, tompok, and alep among those that I still could recall began to develop somekind of state nationalism spirit. Everyone who have connection with kedah would be accepted as their companies. I was quite fortunate because I am a kedahan who could still speak in the dialect but just an outer-state one. If not, they would not talk with me. I noticed some northern perak students tried to talk with them but they didn't reply back nor looking at them even though those students are also speaking in northern malay dialect. 

Until the end of the semester I began to feel sick with this kind of spirit because I assume everyone as equal in front of Him. So, I tried to avoid them when they invited me for activities together like fishing or outing and hanging around. Well, maybe I should also blame my self for being a lone ranger. I had deleted all of these kids numbers because I think nobody would ever remember anyone who just temporarily appears in their life.

 

Musalla in the second floor of aman desa

Inside the musalla, nothing really change except for few notes pasted at the wall

In third year, I lived with tarmizie and I just call him mijie. He is also a year older than me. We could choose a roomate that we are comfortable to stay with but I guess nobody would ever want to live with an orthodox kid like me. Even amir, didn't want to be my roomate instead he choose mat nor who was also our classmate. I was 23 at that time. Mijie is an orthodox and quite traditional. Now, for three years I lived with kelantanese students where western coast students are so afraid to be with them. Mijie is from Kuala Qirai. He also persuades me to try budu (kelantanese anchovy sauce), and I just tried once to respect him. The result was that I had diarrhea and had to go to the clinic.

 Room no.218 where I stayed in third year

My room in the third year was at 218, just near the musalla at the second floor. The musalla at that time quite lively. Sometimes mijie would conduct a banquet or bekwoh for other students in our room. I would just support him because it is a good activity to bring everyone together in the musalla. But the food choice of course was something like nasi kerabu or we call that as khao jam in thai or other kelantanese delicacies. I didn't take part in the eating session but just helping and supporting them.

These are some of my memories during bachelor degree time. I have no pictures for those moments but I just have my memory to keep them all. Life is just like a rare drama in the TV. When the time is up, then it would be finish. May Allah bless all of my roommates. No matter what problem that we faced during our sharing of the room, I know that you people have good hearts. I hope that all of you forgive me if I did something wrong and hurt you people. May Allah forgive our sins and bless everyone, aamin!   

What is Tauheed?

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahim!

In the name of God the Most Merciful, the Most Beneficent. We are still in saturday. Saturday is counted just after 'asr prayer time. Usually in thursday until fajr of sunday we use the time to memorize Quran and prayers so that our time could be used in a beneficial way. That time is what I mean by peaceful saturday. Some people do not understand the term but that is just how we refer to few things. We also may learn about Him and His teachings during these free times so we may become good Muslims and improving our submission to Him, may He help us.

Today we learn about what is tauheed? Tauheed is our arabic word from the root word ahad which means One. So, tauheed basically means Oneness and it refers to the Lord. Another word for it is monotheism. It is an ideology if it is according to politicial studies academician speech and I frankly hate their terms. Everyone in this world know that Allah is an arabic word used by people in arabic speaking and semitic area in reference to the Creator of the Universe. Other reference for Him is, He who is the King without crown. 

In this post, I would like to talk about this Oneness of God. In our syar'iah or the way of life, it is a sub-branch of 'aqidah (belief). 'Aqidah is the first component in the law of life. So, those who talk about secularism in Muslim community. The first thing to be noted is that we are not like western world. Some muslims becoming secular muslims when they believe that religion should be a separate part of human life differentiated with political entity. Eastern world is no west, and even there are christians in the east whom are the adherents of the church of the east, they are not like the french.

Eastern is as diverse as europe and complicated in different ways to europe or the States. It is the area where philosophies emereged since the Mesopotamia civilization. Persian, Greek, and Rome civilizations began to emerge just after Mesopotamian civilization in Semites' area.  

Please do not assume people around the world are the same when europe put this brand where it is promoting diversity in unity as it would show how silly is the brand when europeans do not walk the talk, and are no different from other bigots in the world but masking itself like uncivilized easterners according to european's perception. I am not anti-europe nor western world. 

I'm myself taking the course about european union and I learned about French Revolution when I was in my first degree. I could recall my class with my kamceng colleague and a close friend, Amir. He passed the paper but I didn't pass the paper because I don't really understand revolution at that time. But now, when I go through the previous notes and discussing it with friends online. I manage to understand those tricky reasons behind the French Revolution. Many reasons that could possibly being related to the revolution.

Back to tauheed. It is then simplified by the ulamas (religious science scholars) in the orthodox sunnah pillars of creed. We call it as arkaanul imaan and its meaning is as what we mentioned. Every Muslim regardless sunnah or shi'ite would profess that they believe in the One God which is Lord God. Shi'ite muslims have their conclusion for pillars of creed which are slightly different from sunnah muslims formulation because they have their ulamas and terms.  

Non-muslims too believing Him but some of them tend to take mediators for Him. I had once being an infidel where my 'aqidah is deflected due to environment and circumstances around so basically I understand how non-muslims religious thinking works. Some are taking their teachers as their mediator to be close to Him. Some may take angels as the mediators to be close to Him or asking this and that. Some personify His attributes to different personifications so that is why we can see many gods and goddess emerge to represent another entity which is Supreme but could not easily being achieved by their mind. Some may take money, positions, and others as their gods. Muslim ulamas too had differentiated this model of tauheed into two branches which are called as Uluhiyyah and Rubbubiyah. We would talk about this later according to our understanding from lectures, may He permits it.

In orthodox sunnah creed, the belief in Allah is concluded as the first pillar. It is the first condition to be a muslim. We profess that there is no gods but only the God. It is also concluded in our first pillar of Islam or arkaanul Islam. We recite this in our salaat during a postion called tasyahud (testimonial), and in each salaat we have twice tasyahuds. This matter has connection with creed and faith. Then, what does tauheed in Islam signifies? It signifies the Oneness of Lord God, without any partner, He is the Most Perfect, the Holiest, the Most Mighty, and the Most Just.

How do we perceive faith as muslims? We must have pure confidence in our soul and professing in our heart and orally the testimonial that there is no gods but only the God, and verbally display it with our acts. So from here we may proceed to arkaanul imaan or the pillars of creed.

The pillars of creed consists of six conclusion about the belief of a muslim which are:    

1. We believe in the only God without any partners nor mediators to pray to Him, Allah.

2. We believe in angels and each muslim must at least aware or recognize ten angels.

3. We believe in prophets and messengers appointed by Allah to teach his servants which are humans, each muslim must at least know 25 of the main prophets from Adam (as) to Muhammad (saw) with four of them are called as ulul 'azmi (prophets and messengers of God with great determination and preserverance).

4. We believe in celestial scriptures which are the scrolls given to our father Ibrahim (Abraham), the torah revealed to Musa (Moses), the zabur (psalmer) revealed to Dawud (David) the ewungal or injil (gospel) revealed in the heart of Isa the son of Maryam (Jesus), and the Quran as the conclusion of all scriptures revealed to prophet of this nation of the period near the end revealed in the heart and soul of our beloved prophet Muhammad (saw).

5. We believe in the Day promised by Lord God, which is also known as the Akhirat. Akhirat means the End which would happen just after the Resurrection or Yom al-Qiyamah.

6. We believe in the Qada' and Qadar. Qada' means the good divine pre-destination and Qadar means the evil divine pre-destination. Everything is in His wisdom.

So, this is how tauheed is related to the pillars of creed. We also touched some point of arkaanul islam which are also related to the tauheed. In Islam, there is also jinayat (criminal) component. A person who is known as muslim bounds to the Islamic way of life so this is the point that could not easily be understood by non-muslims.

A person who violates any component in the way of life would have to face consequences in criminal law. When a person violating his 'aqidah by being an apostate, he or she is also violating the law of life. Islam is the religion of nations and it builds up a society. It has nothing to do with fascism. Fascism was created by westerners and they became paranoid and obsessed with their own terms.

I wonder why people including some muslims who think that they are modernized when they followed others' way of life could easily understand civil law but when it comes to celestial law, it is different thing? I am aware that europe had banished death penalty because it is inhuman, but the United States which is among advanced countries still practising it. Till now, how many persons being killed by Syari'ah court? There is not any country with majority muslim population and with leaders identified as muslim in this world executing the way of life.  

In Malaysia nobody was killed because of apostacy. Instead, many had also won their case like the case of Lina Joy. In southern part of Thailand dominated by muslim malays, there are also remote cases of apostacy such as the case of Im Daoloth around 1960's who embraced buddhism to get incentives from central government as he was a government servant. He wasn't killed by syariah court but died in natural way.

A person who understands his or her own religion would never doing something out of ignorance. A bigot in the opposite showing their ignorance when they talk like they were tyrannized because their real god is not the God but others which only they could decipher who it is or who they are. This is just my personal opinion. As a person dependant to the God, I know where is my level and I am a lowly creature of Him. Not to persuade nor forcing anyone into Islam. I would also like to express gratitude if brothers and sisters in faith could help me correcting the notes about pillars of faith for everyone's benefit. And Allah knows well! 

Allahumma salli 'ala muhammad wa 'ala aali muhammad kamaa sallai-ta 'ala ibrahim, wa 'ala aali ibrahim. Allahumma baarik 'ala muhammad wa 'ala aali muhammad, kamaa barak-ta 'ala aali ibrahim wa 'ala aali ibrahim. Lord God our God be in connection with our prophet muhammad (saw) and his family, as You had been in connection with our father ibrahim (as) and his family. O Lord our God, please bless our prophet muhammad (saw) and his family as You had blessed our father ibrahim (as) and his family. May Allah guide us to the straight path. May there be light from His guidance in our life. Please forgive me my sins if I wrote something wrong, dear Lord. Sealed with prayers for peace and love.

Seminar in KANITA: Expressive Body Approach

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

Alhamdulillah, I had already payed the debt for May's hostel rental. And then I managed to get the papers for few months internship in KL. I hope everything goes on as what had been planned but if something different happen then I must quickly recognize everything is in His knowledge.

After the friday congregational prayer, I received an sms from a friend of mine who works in women's development center. The center is also called as KANITA in USM.

He informed me about the seminar. I think that maybe I could learn something new in the seminar organized by the center so I just agreed to be there. The seminar was about expressive body approach. I am not really an artist and not really well-educated about dances but I do familiar about few things in south east asian buddhism which are also connected to animism including several dances and trances in southern thailand.

Too bad I didn't get to jot down few points from the presenter whose name is Aida Redza since I didn't bring pen. I love to jot down everything that I heard because I believe in certain times we may use the lectures for other aspects of life. I heard that she is a contrversial dancer of Malaysia. I don't really know her and from her speech, I could see that she does not really agree with the syari'ah court concerning child custody because she is a divorcee. The center is for women so they could say anything they want in their place. I would never question them. Anyway, I am not here to talk about her or the center. I don't care who she is but I just want to recapture what I've got to learn today.

We learned about the choreography of dance. She retaliates to us about how we could own our body in the sense of making movement and being creative in giving instructions or executing instructions. It is very abstract that I could not easily grasp the speech. It also has to do with communication and teamwork when she proposed us to do. I regret that I could not avoid from touching or being touched by others especially of different gender but I should also respect them in the seminar and not being too strict. I tried to avoid being in contact with all of the people as possible as I can.

The first part of the seminar we did some movements, and then doing some massaging on our own bodies. I take it positively, no evil thinking. And then we have to be in a pair. I was paired with Sardar. He is a Muslim Sri Lankan guy and it is like we are guiding each other on our movements. It is to see how we manipulate each others without necessarily touching each other, trusting our friends. But I had hold the guy's hand because I am afraid that he would bump into girls. It is also to see the guided person being creative with his or her movements. We are stiff because of norms around that making us do not dare to try something new.

Well, I admit that. When I was a little kid, I have to avoid being a cheerful kid according to my way because friends around would laugh at me or looking at me like a clown. At home, my sisters would shut my mouth up when I began to talk except my dad and mom who always listens to me when they are driving so they could avoid feeling sleepy.

But that was when I was a little kid. I slowly turned to be a different person when I became a young youth. And now, I am totally different from before and some people said I look serious. I could not believe what they said, because I am not really a serious person. I could bend myself according to situations around. Aren't all of the people like that? We can't expect a person to laugh when there is a sad news. Or being angry when receiving good news.    

The second part, a person chosen to laid down on two pieces of big thin papers to be drawn around with a marker pen. We may lay down according to our creativity and then decorate the shape with whatever we feel suitable. And then we have to explain about the significance through dancing. So, we can see some of the dances in the pictures here.

These two performed a dance called lust, love, and life. The beginning part of this team is a bit loud so I leave it behind to respect the eyes of others, haha. The girl with the spectacle acts with erotic movement and it's quite creepy for me.

This team is working on a dance about fire something. The guy called Jeevan Supiramaniam in the middle had explained something regarding hindu philosophy about the fire in the stomach where it burns the food in the digestive system, called peetha. This is a new knowledge. The one with red shirt is my friend, Azren and the one with white shirt is Sardar. I thought that he is a Hindu but he doesn't look like one.     

This one is the drawing from my team. The picture is me laying down on the paper and marked down by Mun (in the picture) and Fatimah. The symbols there like ice cream and everything there would be explained through movements.

It is not easy to be a leader even in dancing it shows. But if we do not take the chance to prove ourselves, we would stuck forever on the same stage. This is according to common way of speech. I am not talking in religious sense here but in human way of speech according to what I tried to understand the choreographer had said. If in religious side, maybe being an imaam is a training for a leader. I always try to avoid being an imaam but somehow if the situation needs an imaan and I am appointed to be one I would have to accept the burden of sins behind me.

  

A shot while waiting for the bus. I love how the trees look like near the pharmaceutical center. Unfortunately, I had lost few pictures of the lake and environment around in my old files. I wanted to get them back.

As for today, I had learned about being confident with ourselves. Just be ourselves and do not really think about how people would perceive us. We can't stop everyone from thinking and let people think. We just do everything as well as we can. I also get new friends like Mun from Thailand and another two international students from Sri Lanka which are Jeevan and Sardar. 

Peaceful saturday dear brothers and sisters who are striving in guarding the Quran in their heart. Chant salawaat to prophet Muhammad (saw) and his family and his companion may we have a blessed holy day: "allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aali Muhammad." Friday evening before maghrib is also a good time for personal prayers. Sealed with love and prayers for peace.   

Just arrived in campus... What a tiring day!

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

Just arrived in the campus yesterday evening because I have to prepare my research's first chapter to be checked by the supervisor. Praise be to God, I managed to perform obligatory salaat for mid day and afternoon prayers although through jama' n qasar way. I hope God forgives me because I did not perform proper ma'amad with dirty clothes and vessel but instead just performing ablution as the time was almost out.

Then I still can pray evening prayer in congregation in musalla desa Tekun, thankful to God again You are indeed the Most Merciful. Actually today we are already in peaceful saturday as what we call it as two holy days. We suppose to fast yesterday which is on Thursday but I am in travel so I have to be a bit flexible.

The journey with Plusliner wasn't so pleasant and I have to sit beside a girl. That's still ok, but the seat in the bus is quite limited in space so I felt numb at my feet and other parts of body. The journey becoming rather tormenting when the driver has to drive slowly due to that there are speed traps in the high way.

Long time haven't doing exercise, hehe. It makes me feel like a sick old man when being contained by the bus. Poor grandpa I used to mock him when he said that he felt sick few months before he passed away. I realize how evil I was now, God please forgive my sins. Please let my grandpa resting in peace!!! 

For tomorrow's peaceful saturday I need to get some sugarless bread or dates and a little bit salt. I already have two packets of salt with me. Tomorrow I need to perform ma'amad before friday prayer and also before maghrib. A bottle of plain water. Prepare everything together with prayer books for blessings before sunset so after that I can perform maghrib prayer in peace without disturbing others if performing congregational prayer in masjid.

Now, I don't really know how to describe my feeling. When I arrived in the campus this evening, I have a weird feeling. I don't like this institution or maybe this place because I had lost my moments. Time is indeed playing it's role. Now I really have to make choice and taking the risk again and again in this uncertain period. Tomorrow, I've to get a letter at the center for graduate students to make sure that I can find the job. Then I would have to discuss this matter with my supervisor. I guess I would have to finish european language paper through external classes.

I hope our lecturer do not obligate us to attend her classes when we take the paper for politics and decision makin' again but just obligate us to answer the exam. I really need tools to perform this life. I hate to talk about money as it would be considered as thaghut (idolatries) if being needed excessively, and in the end our god would actually be the money and not Him. It is also mentioned in scriptures but what else can I do. That is the necessity now. I have no choice and I already feel ashamed to my parents for being a burden to them. I hope I am not being a polytheist again and may He forbids me from being a person attached to money nor materials.

Last few nights I already had quarrels with one of my sister concerning this matter. But as to say I never ask her to sponsor me anything. She just sponsors me when she wants me to company her for entertainment like watching her French movies where I don't really like those movies nor do I understand them.

I would not take anything from anyone if it concerns my dignity. Even when I did not have money for expenditure, I would rather fast so I may not be a burden to the world. Anyhow, I should be aware that He is testing me. I am not out of His holy view. May He forgives me, everyone around me and giving me patience to go through this tiring journey. May this nightmare never haunt me when I began to open up my eyes in the eternal world there.

When we are in difficulties we ought to remember that He is with us backing us up. The test is to make us closer to Him. When we are in easy time, we should also remember. He is also testing us whether we would be in the straight path or deviating because we tend to forget Him who sustains us. That is called as istidraaj. Already happened to humans before us like the Tsamud and the 'Aad tribes of the ancient Arab nation mentioned in the holy Quran. 

Anyhow, I would like to express my gratitude to You for a safe journey where You protect me. I realize that You are protecting me, dear Lord. Help me to perform this life. Please protect my faith and creed so I would be in the right track of Yours, o You who is the Most Beneficent. I had already facing tests and tribulations in this life since I was a toddler but only now I get to realize it. I believe all of us, Your servants would be tested because this earth is the field for those who are tested. Praises be only to You forever, aamin!!!