Showing posts with label journey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label journey. Show all posts

Thursday, 4 October 2012

Happy 'Aidul Adha 1433 and Happy New Year 1434

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah


Recently I have been really... really... really busy. So nice that I could write or speak in proper polite English. Usually I can't avoid to speak vulgar ones. It's just the way I talk with the people I was dealing with, haha. For sure that is not the characteristic of a member of the paradise. So, I would actually advise myself not to forget my responsibility and to remain "pure" like the lotus among the mud. The lotus can not leave the mud because it is surrounded with it and needs to cooperate with the mud to protect the balanced earth. 

First of all before I go further about what happened in this temporary earth and in the life of a slave of Allah. I would gladly wishing brothers and sisters happy 'Aiduladha and Happy Rossussanah 1434 H. It is our new moon and I think as always most people will recite the supplication and prayers in the masjid. Among all celebration, I actually in deep love with 'Aiduladha as its significance of Qurban or sacrifice to seek nearness to Allah warming my heart with the love to Him. I always remember and cherish my memory while in holy Mecca and those whom I had met during the pilgrimage season and high holy days there. It makes me realize who is my self and what I found is that I am nothing in this universe but He is full of Glory and full of Greatness. I am actually shedding my tears when the flashbacks come in my head hope nobody see it here, hehe :') 

Awareness on the Significance of Qurban and 'Aiduladha

This is only a summary of what I know about my faith, my ancestral tradition and my religion. I would like to call all brothers and sisters regardless denominations and schools of jurisprudence to keep the awareness about what is the significance of certain celebration and festival in our religion. I don't actually care whether brothers or sisters are from different schools of jurisprudence or from whatever denominations. We still profess the same prophet Muhammad s.a.w as our seal of prophethood, reciting the Quran and our faith is solely in Allah where we direct all of our hopes and dependance only to Him. 

Many young people are not really aware about the details of their religion but yet calling it as a "tariqa" of their life. I was also like that though I studied about Islam but that was only for examination papers. Not for "myself" to use it to perform pure livelihood in the way to seek His Glorious Holy Appearance in the hereafter. Nowadays I would question people but it seems that most of them do not understand it yet they think I am trying to put them down. I was not talking to them as a "second person" but I assume that I was talking to my another self when those questions come out

This has nothing to do with any mysticism. I beg those who accidentally stumbled by to please do not misunderstood me. I am tired people thinking that I am practicing mystical mysterious dzikr or whatever practices. I am just an ordinary Muslim man like brothers and sisters out there. I don't like people looking at me like a scary pathetic ghost and it makes me crying in my heart. I am a human and I live like other people watching TV, listening to radio and also typing in the computer now. Only Allah knows how I feel where I feel like I wanted to slap the face of "adik-adik" or kicking their ass when they approached me and asking me about some kind of turuq practices. Fortunately it is in the musalla or in the canteen so they were safe. Otherwise I will make sure they bleed their nose without they even realize it! I do pray for brothers of another "realm" but I do not do it for false practices. I am doing it for their benefit because I am always alone. I rarely made friend and as a responsibility of a fellow brother for them I reserved some "foods" and sprinkled them while walking to masjid early in the morning when everyone were asleep. I hate magics, sorcery and tricks! 


Sa'ie, Love of a Mother for Her Infant Son and Sufferings to Continue Survival

Briefly, 'Aiduladha is the peak of a series of high holidays. It is a tradition inherited from our father, Abraham and his son Ishmael. Well, this is according to our tradition's exegesis of Quran. An event that makes me feel touched was about the love of a mother to her son. Hagar as a mother had ran here and there at the Safa and Marwa seven rounds in order to find water after being left by Abraham a.s in the barren valley.  At that time infant Ishmael was around three years old as far as I could remember our elders recital of the chronicles in Arabic poetry form. I recalled everything that I heard when I was in Mecca, while in the Arafat desert and while traveling to Jeddah and Medina along the desert.

We imitated her deeds at the Safa and Marwa hills and I was almost dead with my mother there because so many people and they almost stepped me to death before a man helped me. My mother said that she does not care anymore if she dies, so I was so scared and I took her hand before someone hit me and I was the one who was down there. I never realize that I love my mother and I still have 'some' love in my heart that I thought had already gone after few sad incidents in my life. 

Hagar and Ismael a.s were sent down after Sarah a.s can't hold her jealousy and when Ishmael had teased her son, Ishaq a.s she just asked Abraham a.s to send them both away. That is normal I guess for women. I live with women and I am familiar with jealousy. My younger sister are always jealous to me when my mother gives me something but I actually never ask her anything. I always give everything that I have to others to avoid from "evil eyes". I hate to have issues with others but I just don't understand why they still love to find issues with me.

Back to the story, Abraham a.s just left both of Hagar and Ismael a.s with a prayer may the barren valley be blessed with sustenance which dearly brothers and sisters could read in the Quran Surat Ibrahim verse 37. These prayers were also pasted at the mihrab of our masjid here. Each time when I visit the masjid and pray there I would recite those prayers in my heart and looking at those verses. The valley is filled with metal hill. I am not talking without experience. I saw that the hills do no absorb the water when rain falls and it caused a big and ferocious flood in the Ajyad area.    

Qurban of Abraham and Ishmael a.s

It tells that once upon a time, father Abraham a.s came down to the Meccan valley to visit his wife, Hagar a.s and their son, Ishmael a.s. At that time, Ishmael was already a young man. While staying there, Abraham dreamed that he was slaughtering his son. The same dream happens few times so Abraham understood that the dream is a revelation of Allah (surat as-Saffat vs. 103-107). So, he told it to Ishmael and Ishmael agreed as it was a revelation and a commandment. Everybody at the ancient Jurhumite Arab village thought that Abraham had already losing his mind. 

Jamrat and Throwing Pebble Stones

A "man" appears to Hagar and told her everything. He said that Abraham a.s is going to murder his own son and claimed that it was a revelation. The man according to exegesis was a "satan" in the form of a human. When Hagar a.s heard the word "revelation", she just ignored the man and said that if so then let it be. She knows what Abraham a.s is doing. The "man" was disappointed so he leaves and "appear" to Abraham and Ishmael a.s. Three times the "man" appears to them while they were on their way to a hill to perform the "sacrifice" and commandment. At these three points where the "man" appears, they chased him away with pebble stones throwing. The points nowadays were known as jamrat and the act of these two prophets of Allah is imitated by Muslims all over the world during pilgrimage season. I recalled that we had thrown seven stones in each jamrat and the event happens in three days in Dzulhijja month. The spiritual and psychological significance of this actually is about how we deal with evil whispers. Whether we listens it and stay far from Allah or we just ignore it and be closer to Allah. 

Reward of Qurban and the Love of Allah Saves Everything

At the time when Abraham a.s almost hitting the neck of his son; his sword was directed to another point where he didn't really hit his son. But he hits a sheep. The reward of this sacrifice is what we could see today. Prophet Abraham a.s is blessed with the mercy to the universe for the end of the ages. It was through his prayers and sacrifices that his descents are blessed by Allah.

Other Version: Ishaq as the Subject

I have no time to slip the Old Testament but I am aware that the Children of Israel believe in Ishaq as the one who was sacrificed. I just read the Epistle of Barnabas which is the interpretation of the Old Testament by Jews who were the believers of Jesus a.s that stated this tradition of exegesis. For brothers information, since the end of September until now, our Jew friends are also in High Holy Days where they observed the Yom Kapparot for atonement where they would fast at that day and seeking forgiveness, New Moon of Rosh Hashanah, Sukkot festival and Simchat Torah. To tell everyone the truth; I don't give a damn to any version of the narration or on the differences of gentiles and non-gentiles. Allah blesses everyone regardless they are of any lineage and worldly fame means nothing

What I care is the spirit to seek nearness to Allah or G-d or whatever it is spelled because I am referring to the Highest Authority of the Universe, the King. During High Holy Days while waiting for our prayer times, I usually would chat with brother Eidan who happened to be a fellow Hadrami Arab descent but of different religion. We just discussed and sharing our family traditions. He is a Jew since his mother is a Jew but we are connected with the same Muslim paternal lineage of Iraqi immigrant in Yemen who was known as the Migrant though of different clans and of different flows.

Basically, these people were known as high sufis of various tariqa and could be founded among Sunni or Shi'a groups of Muslims whether in Yemen, Africa or Indian sub-continent. Both of us are not registered with those associations because for me I just realized that after I made researches as I began to feel weird after comparing our selves with other locals, I made consultations on behalf of my father and his family and checking with the authority while for brother Eidan he is of different religion and already migrating to their holy land.

Anyway I am not going to be registered nor revealing it widely to other relatives of my father side though many elders actually aware about that and it was discarded from young people knowledge because of some conflicts between clans. Maybe they were shy or afraid to tell people because of consequences that our people faced since Abbasid era. They are no different to the Umayyad dynasty. That is normal when we are at the height of "power" and it turns us to be "blind". It takes away our conscience and that is one of the thing that our elders always said to us on what they are afraid of. I know several those who "still" use the title but they behaved not accordingly to the noble morality. Some of them are married to our cousins too. What for the name if the "spirit" is dim and Allah hates us

Wishing

Again wishing everyone Happy 'Aiduladha and Happy New Year 1434 H. To those who perform pilgrimage in holy shrine in Mecca and the Masjid an-Nabawi, you don't know how fortunate you are especially the areas are very tight with authority supervision. Take the opportunity to purify yourselves from worldly matters and always ask to officers around if you have problem in the manasik and confused with the flow of the worship in the pilgrimage rituals. Don't listen to self-claimed "ustads" or you might confuse yourselves. Make sure what kind of pilgrimage you are performing because you need to bolt it in your "intention" and revise neatly what is the important process before the day come. For those who perform Hajj al-Ifrad especially in the early groups who arrived in Jeddah, please please please don't mix with other pilgrims or else you will repeat my mistake. I performed tahallul before I finished everything with the obligatory pilgrimage because I listened to my mother who wants to follow her roommates in the moassasah (foundation) to perform 'umra. I regret it until today after I listened to the lecture on the mistakes in rituals. It is not easy to return and performing it again as to ask forgiveness from Allah through the rituals. Hajj mabrur, wa sa'yan mashkur. May your performed rituals lead you toward charity and chastity. May your efforts being followed with gratitude to Him.

Allahumma salli 'alaa aali Muhammad wa 'alaa aali Muhammad wa sahbihi ajma'in...

Sealed with prayer for mercy, peace and love, amin!              

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Memo: Drafting New Spiritual Plan

Assalamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

I'm done with first chapter, thank You Lord!!!!!!! I'll return for Penang and planning spiritual plan for myself on papers to get the success in the world and the hereafter. He is our purpose of life and death... He is our intention... His Blessing, Mercy, Love and Pleasure are what we are trying to beg!!!!!!!!

No mercy toward myself anymore, no pampering anymore we are in evil period and time is running out before He is taking away the knowledge and kitabs from our heart and soul. I'll have to beat my nafs and rotten flesh hard without any mercy for deceiving my heart view toward Him and listening to evil environment around, His Will!!! Everything must be according to Quranic responsibility and Sunnah! I must punish myself for violating Quran and Sunnah, repent ya 'abdullahhhhhhh!

As a reminder ya 'abdullah, don't stop fasting this Thursday until the half of Sya'aban in order to celebrate and inviting holy month, Ramadhan Mubarak. Today is already 10th of Sya'aban. We pray and fast only for Him, not only in specific nights but we must always remember Him in every second of our life. The hadith about prayers all night long in 15th of Sya'aban is weak, so don't take it seriously. However, ones who always perform optional fasting could always fast to remember Him and for self purification according to valid sources and practices. 

Give the right of the God in ourselves, give the right of our selves to our selves, and the right of everyone according to their places.

May our journey this Thursday being a safe journey under His protection. May our works done followed by His Help and Supervision. Our Lord, give us patience and strength to walk through this thorny and tormenting world. May we finish everything according to the time and no time being wasted. Forgive me for times wasted. Sealed with prayers for peace, mercy, and love for dearly brothers and sisters, amin!

Thursday, 26 May 2011

Just arrived in campus... What a tiring day!

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

Just arrived in the campus yesterday evening because I have to prepare my research's first chapter to be checked by the supervisor. Praise be to God, I managed to perform obligatory salaat for mid day and afternoon prayers although through jama' n qasar way. I hope God forgives me because I did not perform proper ma'amad with dirty clothes and vessel but instead just performing ablution as the time was almost out.

Then I still can pray evening prayer in congregation in musalla desa Tekun, thankful to God again You are indeed the Most Merciful. Actually today we are already in peaceful saturday as what we call it as two holy days. We suppose to fast yesterday which is on Thursday but I am in travel so I have to be a bit flexible.

The journey with Plusliner wasn't so pleasant and I have to sit beside a girl. That's still ok, but the seat in the bus is quite limited in space so I felt numb at my feet and other parts of body. The journey becoming rather tormenting when the driver has to drive slowly due to that there are speed traps in the high way.

Long time haven't doing exercise, hehe. It makes me feel like a sick old man when being contained by the bus. Poor grandpa I used to mock him when he said that he felt sick few months before he passed away. I realize how evil I was now, God please forgive my sins. Please let my grandpa resting in peace!!! 

For tomorrow's peaceful saturday I need to get some sugarless bread or dates and a little bit salt. I already have two packets of salt with me. Tomorrow I need to perform ma'amad before friday prayer and also before maghrib. A bottle of plain water. Prepare everything together with prayer books for blessings before sunset so after that I can perform maghrib prayer in peace without disturbing others if performing congregational prayer in masjid.

Now, I don't really know how to describe my feeling. When I arrived in the campus this evening, I have a weird feeling. I don't like this institution or maybe this place because I had lost my moments. Time is indeed playing it's role. Now I really have to make choice and taking the risk again and again in this uncertain period. Tomorrow, I've to get a letter at the center for graduate students to make sure that I can find the job. Then I would have to discuss this matter with my supervisor. I guess I would have to finish european language paper through external classes.

I hope our lecturer do not obligate us to attend her classes when we take the paper for politics and decision makin' again but just obligate us to answer the exam. I really need tools to perform this life. I hate to talk about money as it would be considered as thaghut (idolatries) if being needed excessively, and in the end our god would actually be the money and not Him. It is also mentioned in scriptures but what else can I do. That is the necessity now. I have no choice and I already feel ashamed to my parents for being a burden to them. I hope I am not being a polytheist again and may He forbids me from being a person attached to money nor materials.

Last few nights I already had quarrels with one of my sister concerning this matter. But as to say I never ask her to sponsor me anything. She just sponsors me when she wants me to company her for entertainment like watching her French movies where I don't really like those movies nor do I understand them.

I would not take anything from anyone if it concerns my dignity. Even when I did not have money for expenditure, I would rather fast so I may not be a burden to the world. Anyhow, I should be aware that He is testing me. I am not out of His holy view. May He forgives me, everyone around me and giving me patience to go through this tiring journey. May this nightmare never haunt me when I began to open up my eyes in the eternal world there.

When we are in difficulties we ought to remember that He is with us backing us up. The test is to make us closer to Him. When we are in easy time, we should also remember. He is also testing us whether we would be in the straight path or deviating because we tend to forget Him who sustains us. That is called as istidraaj. Already happened to humans before us like the Tsamud and the 'Aad tribes of the ancient Arab nation mentioned in the holy Quran. 

Anyhow, I would like to express my gratitude to You for a safe journey where You protect me. I realize that You are protecting me, dear Lord. Help me to perform this life. Please protect my faith and creed so I would be in the right track of Yours, o You who is the Most Beneficent. I had already facing tests and tribulations in this life since I was a toddler but only now I get to realize it. I believe all of us, Your servants would be tested because this earth is the field for those who are tested. Praises be only to You forever, aamin!!!             
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