Showing posts with label sincerity. repentance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sincerity. repentance. Show all posts

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Memo: Drafting New Spiritual Plan

Assalamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

I'm done with first chapter, thank You Lord!!!!!!! I'll return for Penang and planning spiritual plan for myself on papers to get the success in the world and the hereafter. He is our purpose of life and death... He is our intention... His Blessing, Mercy, Love and Pleasure are what we are trying to beg!!!!!!!!

No mercy toward myself anymore, no pampering anymore we are in evil period and time is running out before He is taking away the knowledge and kitabs from our heart and soul. I'll have to beat my nafs and rotten flesh hard without any mercy for deceiving my heart view toward Him and listening to evil environment around, His Will!!! Everything must be according to Quranic responsibility and Sunnah! I must punish myself for violating Quran and Sunnah, repent ya 'abdullahhhhhhh!

As a reminder ya 'abdullah, don't stop fasting this Thursday until the half of Sya'aban in order to celebrate and inviting holy month, Ramadhan Mubarak. Today is already 10th of Sya'aban. We pray and fast only for Him, not only in specific nights but we must always remember Him in every second of our life. The hadith about prayers all night long in 15th of Sya'aban is weak, so don't take it seriously. However, ones who always perform optional fasting could always fast to remember Him and for self purification according to valid sources and practices. 

Give the right of the God in ourselves, give the right of our selves to our selves, and the right of everyone according to their places.

May our journey this Thursday being a safe journey under His protection. May our works done followed by His Help and Supervision. Our Lord, give us patience and strength to walk through this thorny and tormenting world. May we finish everything according to the time and no time being wasted. Forgive me for times wasted. Sealed with prayers for peace, mercy, and love for dearly brothers and sisters, amin!

Friday, 24 June 2011

Memory in Mecca: Sincerity in Repentance

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

I learned a lot when watching movies. Last time we always watch Hindustani movies in Hindi as it medium because dad loves Hindi movies so much. I am familiar with Hindustani ever green singers like Muhammad Rafee, Lata Mangeshkar, Kishore Kumar, Asha Bhonsle and others. Even until now, I know many other Hindi movies. I also watch Tamil and other southern Indian language movies especially after I returned from the holy land.

I remember where I met few Muslim Keralites in Mecca during hajj pilgrimage. One of them is Asyraff and he worked in the muassasah (hostel for pilgrims) where I had once lived, and I talked about our Tamilian community in Malaysia. They know about that but funny thing is that I sang him the motto of our national radio in Tamil, woolagammai samayyum, vallnooli aarru (famous around the world, sixth channel). I can't stop laughing when I remember this. He also taught me how to count in Malayalam which sounds a little bit like Tamil counting... wunne, renne, munne, naaalu, aanji, aaru, yeeru, yetthu, moppatthu, pattu... say yes ammama, say no illelle... hahahahahahaa....  It was so fun. I gave them fruits and Malaysian currency that I have to thank them for teaching me some Malayalam.

Although being a kid raised in the midst of multicultural society, I still had some stigma which is bad when it comes to Indian community. That is normal anyway in Malaysia or anywhere. But then when I was in Mecca, an Indian is the one who helped me when I almost died being trampled under the sea of human during sa'ie (effort) ritual. There was so many people there, and I tried to save mum from being stepped. Instead I was trampled. It was packed at that time as it is the time where everyone was rushing to perform tahallul (releasing themselves from prohibitions in ihram). A person I guess an Indian or a Pakistani helped me at that time. He grabbed my hand and pulling me to the Safa hill. Be careful at the Safa and Marwa especially at the peak hour during hajj season before people performing tahallul cos the hills are slippery. If you are under the feet of the people, there will be no way for you to survive unless if He wants to see you repent to Him and doing something important in your life. Then I remembered that I had bad-mouthing Indians in generalization and thinking that how silly it is.   

I also talked with a Pakistani guy, he told me that his name is 'Ariff. He speaks in Arabic with me but I can't reply him in Arabic because I was not fluent in the language. Instead I talked in English and some smattering Urdu. I could understand what he says and he taught me few important things. Weird it was, because he seems like knowing something about me or it was just my feeling. He talked to me few things about sincerity in repentance and also something about black ants on a tree trunk in the dark night. After that we prayed congregational Dzuhr prayer service in in the Haram ash-Shareef. I quickly leave Ariff after saying my supplications to the God, and going down from the second floor of the mosque to approach Ka'aba. I was actually so terrified. I cried while walking around the Ka'aba, made few vows and promises to the God. Among them is to be on the path of the righteous. 

I still remember those vows and still afraid if I break them. After that I still see Ariff, he suddenly appears in front of me from nowhere when I was about to go out of the mosque. He hold my hand and said, now I give you the ijazat (permission and certify) that you must always have in mind what we had talked about. Later he said his farewell with takbeel (a custom of clicking sound at the cheek) and disappear in the sea of people. I regret that I didn't take his detail for contact. I wanted to thank him for the lecture. 

This is in relation to the first hadith of matan arba'in. Just a reminder to myself because vows to the God to be within the convenant musn't be violated by myself. I am thankful to Allah, I had managed to properly memorize the explanation of the hadith. We would proceed to the second hadith, His Will. Sealed with prayers for peace, mercy, and love for beloved brothers and sisters in faith.  
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