Happy Chinese New Year 2011

安賽倆目阿來空!!!

這空間的時... 我向我們華人兄第姐妹大家恭祝一句...

新年快樂!!!

心想事成, 萬事如意...!!!

Happy Chinese New Year to all Chinese brothers and sisters. Although I am not a full blood Chinese and with Arab paternal lineage but I still consider myself as apart of Chinese civilization. I grew up alongside with Chinese environment surrounded me. It might be strange and might be unusual but that is what I am now.

No matter where we are, we still aware of our cultural root. We remember the traditional values taught by Confucius. Hahaha, my mom always remind us about Confucius even when we crossed the streets when I was a little kid. Allah has created us to know each other and to appreciate everyone as they are. 

This holiday is just a week, but Chinese New Year is about 15 days. I didn't get to tidy up my room, sticking some red papers  with good luck remarks like I did with my younger sister during Chinese New Years. I have a roommate whom I believe will not tolerate a different culture because he lives in a non-multicultural area. He might feel uncomfortable in a Chinese environment, lol.

Allah bless prophet Muhammad (saw) and his family and his companions, as Allah bless prophet Ibrahim (as) and his family. Keep us in peace, ya Allah to its due time. Sealed with love to brothers and sisters.

Semester Break Begins!

Assalamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah!

We had began our semester break altogether with Chinese New Year holiday last Thursday. It is only a week holiday anyway. On Saturday, I felt so bored and  feel tensed with my Palestinian roommate. This recent roommate placed with me by the office is the second Palestinian. I had earlier lived with another Palestinian and also with an Indonesian after the first roommate moved out. So, I decided to have some sightseeing and day walk around Georgetown. 

Georgetown?? Hurmmm, I had been in Penang for almost four years, and now only that I get the chance to go to Georgetown. Many places in Penang that I haven't discover yet. Instead of thinking too much of whom will accompany me or being my company to travel. I went there alone... Of course I am afraid that it is not safe there in the town but before I went out I made some prayers so that Allah 'Azz wa Jalla will protect me. I believe He will always protect me.

To cut it short, I went to Georgetown by Rapidpenang from the bus stand just in front of Khaleel restaurant. I didn't plan much but I made some lists of places that I wanted to see. It just cost me two bucks for a bus ride and the rest I just spend on my food which doesn't take me much because I just eat like in a pinch.

I brought a bag filled with few clothes with me just in case and a camera to capture some memories. Well, I made my move to Georgetown around 12:00 noon and of course I arrived at the town around Zhuhr prayer. The first place that I visit was Masjid Kapitan Keling. 

After that, I walked around and capturing pictures. Here are some pictures that I get. This one is just close to KOMTAR, on the flyover junctions. It is quite interesting, well for me because we can see those crossing roads from above. We can talk about philosophical matters here related to the flyover junctions but I would like to avoid it here because I just want to record my experience walking all the day alone in the town in silence : )

I can't really remember which roads and streets that I had passed by because I believe I walked around and around without having the chance to jot down the names of the road.  What I can remember, I walked along Jalan Macalister too.

Along Jalan Macalister, I can see foodstalls selling Chinese cuisines. And I was trying to find Jalan Zainal Abiddin which was previously known as Jalan Yahudi. Just to see the Jewish cemetery because I had heard that those people were once settled there. But at that time, it was already Asar prayer time. I have to stop by at a mosque or at least a musalla to respect the Lord who have the Dominion over the Time. 

Then I found this mosque, Masjid Pakistan. I went inside and pray together with the congregation there. The imaam has a good voice and recitation, maasyaa-Allah!!! Too bad that I can't stay long there because I am on foot and I have to follow everything according to what I had planned in a bit last night. It's not a big mosque, just a little one with small number of people in the congregation. 

This house is the Center of Sun Yat Sen. Everybody knows that he was related to the early development of Guomindang. Also few Chinese Muslims from Guangxi and Gansu involved in Guomindang and Chinese Nationalism. But I was not fortunate that day because the center was closed once I walked in front the center. Maybe next time, I still have plenty of times to plan everything and Allah will arrange it for me.

 Maqabir Yahudi (Jewish Cemetery)

 Jalan Zainal Abiddin (Jalan Yahudi)

  
The Jewish cemetery is taken care by an Indian family. They locked the gate and they have a dog there. I don't want my pants being polluted by dogs fur because I need it for praying so I just stay outside the gate and snapping the picture. 

I guess they might be hired by those Jews who had moved out from Penang to other countries like Australia or Singapore to take care the grave of those deceased family members. I saw a guy looking something, perhaps his family member grave by reading the name inside the grave compound.

Later, I visited three Buddhist temples in that same day. It just reminds me of my confused times. But I just went there for visit like normal tourists, not as a devotee anymore. I don't kneel to Buddhas' idol like before and chanting gathas in Pali, Thai and Chinese with my heart crying pouring down all of my problems and asking for things that I need in front of the rupam (idol). 

I saw "tikam nombor" lists at Wat Pushparam prayer hall for civilians in Jalan Perak. I don't think that it is right in Buddhism either, because it is considered as speculating on something which we are not sure. I don't want to talk with the monks there and  I am sure they are puzzled looking at a strange guy who walks passed all of the idols and just standing in front the idols and grinning alone without performing any "vai" or worship.

 Wat Pushparam, Jalan Perak

Wat Chaiyamanggalaram

On the way to civilian prayer space in Wat Thammikara

Not to forget that I was locked in Wat Thammikara. It is a Burmese temple. I keep snapping pictures and reading about the deities in there till I forgot that the temple is closing. The monk was locking the gate in the evening. They are in renovation for the time-being. 

I had to pretend to be a Thai and talking in Thai to workers and monks there asking politely the other way out from there as not to create problem for everyone, hahaha. Or else I will have to sleep in the temple compound or asking mercy from the monks there to shelter me in Kutthi which is monks' compartments while I would be donating something in return to them. 

The day after the visit to Georgetown, I planned to visit Kek Lok Si but I changed my mind. I better go home first and seeing my parents because I think that they might miss me. I could sense that when my mother keep sending me messages asking me here and there, what am I doing, had I prayed? She might feel lonely like I feel too.

This travel reflects my journey to return back to my ancestors' faith and heritage. Walking in silence alone with prayers in my heart to Allah SWT and trying to find His love and lamenting my sins for blaming Him without any rights as we are just His creature not even equal to Him. 

There are few other pictures but I think these are just enough and I will just print the rest out for my memory. Chinese New Year will begin at 3rd of February I guess. I still have some times to stay at home. 

I end this post with my prayers to Allah 'Azza wa Jalla for His Mercy to everyone.  Bless be our journey in this world to the hereafter world. Help us O Allah to see You, Your Glorious appearance. What else is more satisfying then seeing You O Glorious God :) 

Tabligh and Religious Work

Assalamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah!

Alhamdulillah, praise be to Allah. I had done with the first stage of presentation of my mini-thesis. The methodology lecturers are quite helpful and easy-goin'. I am so grateful to Allah 'Azza wa Jalla and to those lecturers of course. So I have lots of time to review everything. I can also take this opportunity to write about my experience today. 

This morning I had fallen asleep after morning prayer. A brother who is a Tabligh Karkon called Firdaus rang me a phone around 58 past 9 in the morning and reminding me about their program in mosque. I am so touched that he called me although I am not a member of Tabligh Jama'at. 

I am just a lone traveler where I am just walking alone in this dream. So, when the brother called me, it is touching for me. Nobody called me for religious purpose and not usually young guy. I always had my mother begging me to follow her to mosque, once upon a time. I decided to just follow them and listen to what they are going to talk in their meeting in the USM's mosque.

As what had been said by Imam 'Ali (r.a): "The most helpless of all men is he who cannot find a few brothers during his life time. But still more helpless is he who finds such a brother but loses him." 

I do not want to lose any good brother. I had already have no close friends nor companies. When I walk to the mosque, I just walk alone. When I have breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I am just alone in the hostel or anywhere. If I am at home, I have my mother. She is such a wonderful person although sometimes I have had few quarrels with her, but later I will apologize to her through my prayers for her.

I actually had asked the brother to visit me at my room and recite to me what they are talking about in the musalla. I didn't know that Tabligh members have their own kitaab which are the compilation of ahadiths from prophet (saw). 

But he did not even visiting me. Instead he told me to join their meeting in the mosque, which took place today. Ok, that is a good start for me. I can see how they work. They call their work as "religious work" which refers to Tabligh. A work done by prophet Muhammad (saw) and his companions.

I had browsed few links about Tabligh because I am curious. There are few negative remarks about Tabligh Jama'at and there are also positive ones about them. My maternal uncle is also a member of Tabligh Jama'at. He repents from his old lifestyle to embrace what had been taught by Tabligh Jama'at. Honestly I could say that, I was not a fan of Tabligh. I have this few bad experience with my maternal uncle's son and daughters who are also Tablighs. We saw them like, "what a boast."  I also had few bad experience with Tablighs who asked me to go to the musalla without realizing that I am also practising those sunnah things. I guess they might need some enlightments in the methods of preaching da'awa and sunnah to people so that their work could be more effective.

At that time I didn't realize about my paternal ahlul bayt lineage yet. I do have some religious knowledge but environment around makes me felt not interested to practice anything nor going deeper. My late maternal grandpa too seems like having high estimation on my Tabligh maternal uncle's family compared to us who love him so much and taking care about him and our grandma. He looked to us like we are ungodly ones. That is among the reason I became an infidel and being rude to Muslim's practices. By the way, my maternal grandpa was an appointed Imam of a village mosque in Arau before my maternal grandma fell sick. May Allah 'Azza wa Jalla forgive my grandpa, my grandma, and my sins. Have Mercy on us O Allah!

After my grandpa passed away, I feel so guilty and sinful. He wrote a letter before he passes away in Arabic script Malay saying that he apologized to me, and my sisters if he hurt our feelings. I have no hard feeling to him anymore and now I tried to be polite and positive with everyone including to Tabligh people when they came and talked with me. Bless my grandpa soul ya Rabbana!

What I can recall from the Tabligh meeting that I had joined this morning is that they keep emphasizing about the importance of religious work. About how Tabligh members among students must manage their time well, finishing their assignments before time before joining the khuruj or outing for mission in spreading the teachings of prophet (saw). 

Now I understand a lil' bit about the practice of outing in 3 days, 40 days, or 4 months. They will go to India, Pakistan or Bangladesh because those people there are among the first people who are blessed to pass the religious work to others. But I wonder why not to Mecca and Medina?

And then, they have this session which I always see after the 'Isya prayers where they will ask students or anyone to volunteer giving their name to be noted in their notebook for religious work or outing. I didn't offer my name. I think that I am not qualified enough for this although one of their leader had said that people do not have to wait to have a qualification to repair the broken society. I had read this in a tasawwuf book too.

I myself think that according to sirah nabawiyya or the history of prophet (saw), there was a part mentioned that prophet (saw) have to gradually purify himself in Hiraa' Cave. And then receiving revelation which is the knowledge and wisdom from Allah 'Azz wa Jalla through the mediation of Gibrael (as). And later spreading the religion in silence to his household and clan. And later to his companions. To neighbors which are the people of Yathrib and Ethiopia.

I guess that I am still in purification level. It does not mean that I am not doing any da'awa at this stage. I am doing it in silence through prayers and wisdom. When I see people, I will pray for them and for guidance. I will pray for light and blessings to be poured on people around me, to His creatures visible or invisible. And I try to behave according to the code taught by Allah Azza wa Jalla in Quran. 

Later, the program ends with a feast where everyone eats together in a tray filled with biryani rice and curry chicken. I am not that type of person who eats in the tray. I just eat some as to make sure that I am being polite and later excusing myself because I feel nauseated. I feel sorry to them, but I can't stand it. I went to Sungai Dua and vomit out at the back alley of shops. That might be a sacrifice to have good relationship with other Muslims regardless of their affiliation. 

I do not know if prophet (saw) eats in a tray with four persons or there were people selling basmathi rice and curry chicken in a tray in either Mecca or Medina period. I guess during prophet (saw) time, he might eats dry breads, grilled chicken, dates, and drink plain water with his companions. But not biryani rice with curry dripping from their beard.  It seems more like cultural things to me, and biryani seems like Indian than Semitic.

I don't want to sound like a Wahhabi nor a Secular because I am just a lay person Muslim. Mind too that I do not hold any problem with Wahhabi nor any school. I do not want to judge others, although people from Wahhabi could be harsh to others. Instead I want all Muslims regardless of their affiliations to be in Unity.  Let them who curse others realize that it is not good to be rude but through prayers may people gain guidance and enlightment from Allah 'Azza wa Jalla.

The karkon whom I mentioned in the beginning of the post called my phone. He asked me whether I want them to send me back to the hostel. I just do not want them to know that I vomit out at the alley, haha. So, I told him that I have to meet my classmates for assignments. Which is not true, because it was 1 pm when I threw out and going to a fast food restaurant for nourishment. I have to meet Celia and Emad at 5 pm for a presentation on the topic of LIFE+ Fund in EU this comin' Tuesday.

I sent him a message again to apologize: "Salam, thanks inviting me. I am sorry I have to leave early. I meet my classmates for assignment at Sungai Dua. Sorry not participating in name-giving (for khuruj). I believe that angels of peace are recording everyone's deeds (before Allah). I agree with most of those (Tabligh) leaders said... Anyhow, you have my prayers and moral support. It is not easy to see youngsters into religion. It is a grace from Allah."

As the conclusion, I believe that everyone have their own system of da'awa which still holds root to the tradition of prophets. Not only to prophet Muhammad (saw) but all of those prophets and messengers of Allah 'Azza wa Jalla. I refuse to despise anyone. Not even Shi'ites, Wahhabi, Sunnah, Salafi, Tabligh, and etc. As long as we profess witness to Allah as the only One worth to be worshipped. Muhammad His slave and messenger.

I apologize for my rude words in the post,  it is my weakness not of anyone. May Allah forgive me my sins. I don't intend it to insult any party but this is just my curious experience today. 

I pray for Allah to show His Mercy to everyone, pouring lights and guidance to us. Blessed be prophet (saw), his companions, his family, his disciples, and his ummah which is the nation of this dark aeon regardless of their creed. Save us from evil o Allah, bring us nigh to goodness, Aminn! 

Knowledge which leads us to the act of worship!

Assalamu'alaikum warahmatullah!

I'll have to present my mini-thesis topic next week's Tuesday in a mock circumstance. I met a lecturer today and I listened to him for about three hours, hehe. It's not just about my thesis but he also talked about few matters including Palestine-Israel issue. 

Well, that issue really makes people around the world go crazy, either in Jews' side or Arabs' side and not to forget the people in our Malaya too. I'm not going to elaborate more about Palestine-Israel issue. It's not my first intention to create this post.

I just want to drag back my attention to Allah 'Azza wa Jalla. I'm still feeling weak and restless. Even I notice that I have veins protruding out of my head. That is not good. The sign of tensity. I better not taking this task too serious and trying to enjoy life without forgetting Allah 'Azza wa Jalla but this is not easy too. I tried many ways including meditating in the musalla (surau). But I guess I might did something wrong until these meditations didn't come to work.

In whatever things that we do in our life. We need to always be confident that Allah 'Azza wa Jalla is monitoring us. He is watching us. Whatever we learn too must reflect remembrance to Allah 'Azz wa Jalla. I somehow feel it is still my fault that I had diverted from my previous destiny. I supposedly to be in religious studies but it turns out to be like I am today. I don't know, it could be written in His tablet too that I will be like this since the who knows except Him. 

I listened to a religious lecture from radio Kedah by an ustad that I can't barely remember his name. That is because I was like between asleep and conscious. I was so tired after my class in the afternoon. Not because I have to walk here and there to different schools but because I feel that I am not fit in the field that I am studying right now.

However I managed to capture some of the ustad's lecture into the paper that I hold in my hand before I fall asleep. I seek forgiveness before Allah, if there are flaws in my notes. The flaws indeed are from my recklessness.  I'm afraid that I'll lose it so I wanted to record it here.

It says, the splendour of knowledge learned should be assured that it brings us to be closer to Allah 'Azza wa Jalla. When we do charity, we are doing charity to ourselves. When we do evil, then evil will come to us. In the summary of surah al-Hujurat verse 17th, Allah says that He has nothing to lose when we do not perform observances to Him. Neither does He gain anything from our observances nor worship. Our observances, our worship are for our own benefit.  The same things goes to knowledge which is His grace toward us.

This quote reminds me of what I learned from Buddhism lectures that I listened and read when I was a Buddhist. I believed almost the same thing. What goes around comes around. Any bad luck that strucked me down is due to my paapa (sins). When I did charity, I accumulated bunniyam (merit) and it helps prolong my life and my future. It's more to Karmma (acts' law). I also believed that our Karmma affects others around us. Sometimes, it is quite confusing for a revert like me. Because these old values still mingling within me and I can't forget it just easily.

Then, in surah al-'Alaq. Allah 'Azza wa Jalla says that He taught human with pen (al-'Alaq vs 4). To learn something we need to have a pen. It means that we need to jot something down from the lecture. Which is what I was doing before falling asleep and lost everything after that. 

We have to realize that wisdoms and knowledge come from Allah 'Azza wa Jalla. The knowledge and wisdom that we have is not ours but they are from Him. And further, He taught human on what they do not know (al-'Alaq vs 5). When we are grateful to Allah 'Azzza wa Jalla, He will surely increasing His blessings to us through the increasing of knowledge and wisdom. When Daud (as) and Sulaiman (as) received knowledge and wisdom from Allah 'Azza wa Jalla, they said : "Glorified be Allah 'Azza wa Jalla for His blessings on us over others."

Last two nights I had sent a phone messages to a Tabligh brother who was in charge to be an Imam in musalla at this hostel where I am living. I am not a member of Tabligh Jama'a anyway. I am just a lay Muslim not of any affiliation. I found that he has a very nice recitation with his vowels are according to the sound approximation in tajweed which is quite nice. But he seems confused in pronouncing alphabet sounds. The ones which came out from the middle of adam's apple and mouth cavity. He had mistaken in pronouncing some parts such as when it should be ع but he pronounced it with ا and also in the opposite way. Also ح and  ه.  I believe that this is one of a problem for most Malay speaking people but for us, we used to recite everything according to Arabic dialect since our childhood. We began our Quranic learning when our mother teaches us the alphabets at home. Later only we went to state's government's evening religious school and learning them again in national school's Islamic knowldge subject. So, when we read the Quran we will put emphasize on the sound first before memorizing anything from the suras.

I was afraid that it is like too fussy and annoying for him but when I saw tajweed books, they are called as lahnun jaali which means the obvious mistake. I'm just reminding him for his own benefit. I have no other intention at all and that is why I just sent him a message and not talking about it in the midst or people or even in the musalla so that he will feel comfortable. I just hope that he thinks out of it positively and never mistook me. It's not like I am in a position to teach anyone because I am also learning. It will always be like that. 

Anyway, I love to see enthusiastic youngsters like this guy who became the imaam. I love listening to his recitation and also to others because I will visualize the alphabets in my mind. I am myself not a good imaam and and not a good example. So they really impress me for their spirit. Usually I will pray to Allah 'Azza wa Jalla for their consistency and may they become good example for me and others. I also hope that my reminders didn't make them feel jaded nor irritated because that will be a sin for me. 

As to say, wisdoms and knowledge in this Universe are His belongings. We have no right to claim them as ours copyright. It should be spread to others for the benefit of our nation in order to be close to Allah 'Azza wa Jalla. Thus, I pray to Allah please keep our creed purified forever, make our life as a worship itself to You, please grant us Mercy and make us grateful servants and slaves o Allah, blessed be prophet Muhammad (saw) and his family, his companions and his faithful followers!           

Upcoming Research Proposal

Assalaamu'alaikum w rahmatullah!!!

First of all, I pray that no one will never ever encounter troubles like I have in these first few weeks. Nobody deserves it. The day for my mini-thesis for master degree presentation is almost close. It will be in January 11th (Safar 7th) and I will have to present them twice. The presentation on 11th is only the beginning while I still have time to amend the features in my research if I passed it. But it would be a great trouble and sinful for me if I can't get through it because I will feel guilty to Allah in the first place for humiliating His sacred trust and later to both of my parents and to myself.

Frankly speaking, I have no idea on what should I do. I had been thinking and doing my readings on what to do since last semester but I didn't get any clue about this so-called Union. European Union studies looks like a concrete studies with its theoretical framework although it eveloves according to time. Besides, I have to deal with research questions or problem statements and data analysis methods. It is quite tough for a beginner like me because I was a translation and interpretation student from the School of Humanity majoring in Malay and English. Not a Political Science nor from any Social Science background. I may have ample knowledge about the translation of Quran or Bible into English or Malay, those methods used in interpreting sentences or translating texts and whom are the famous translator like Nida or orator like Cicero. But for political theories or administrative field, ana zero (I am zero) like in a Moroccan saying.

Many would think that why am I taking a field which I am not familiar with for further degree. The reason is that I wanted to change my course. I had few bitter experience with my past lecturer. It is not because I have problems with them but it is regarding principles. Also, translation and interpretation especially of Malay and English is not so prominent in Malaysia. Well, everyone speaks English well or at least could understand that so according to economic principle, no necessity, no service. So, I think that changing the course in the same university would be a beginning for a new future but it is not as easy as I thought. May Allah forgive us our past sins, and may Allah forgive me for being selfish.

Last Friday night, after my Sibtis-Salaam (the peaceful Saturday, the time to remember Allah and reciting holy verses from holy Quran as a service to souls of deceased brothers, sisters, and ancestors). I had been thinking of doing a research about the relationship between China and European Union in political and economic term but then I checked the title with my respective classmate through a message. She said that she's planning to do the same topic, so I have to change to other topic and theme because I had just gotten the idea while she had planned to do that since the whole last semester. Anyway, I am happy for her and I am sure that I won't take away her happiness although I feel that my heart was like going to jump out of my chest after knowing that I have to change my topic.

For a moment I sat down on the floor to respect twice holy times and lamenting myself for being a useless guy. 

This verse from Surah Maryam verse 23 comes out of my mind. It reminds me that the torments and the tests which Maryam, the mother of prophet 'Isa (as) had received  and experienced are heavier than mine, she was alone and nobody to share with her sorrow: "And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm-tree: she cried (in anguish to herself), oh dear!! Would that I had died before this! Would I had been a thing forgotten and out of sight!"

I did have the same thought as what had been told in the surah. I feel that I am useless at that time where I can't think of nothing. I just feel that I have to disappear from others sight or not even born in this world. But as to say, Maryam is strong woman. If she is a woman, then, why should I be weaker than her? She had to suddenly pregnant and receiving this heavy task from Allah SWT. This thesis is nothing compared to what she had gone through, nothing at all.May Allah bless Maryam al-'Adzraa'.   

And suddenly an inspiration came out to me. I have got an idea. I will do some humble service to Muslim nation and community. The first principle that should always be in our mind is, no selfishness! Sacrifice ourselves for others, for Allah path and for the service of Allah. Nothing to lose in this world, the glory appearance of Allah is worthy than anything in this "dream." 

I would do a research on something about law, human rights, discrimination, and Islamophobe in Europe. Last time I had read something about the late Marwa el-Sherbini (may Allah be merciful to her soul). She is an Egyptian born pharmacist and most of all, a poor Muslim sister. She was stabbed to death by a Russian immigrant in the court during a court proceeding. She was verbally insulted by the guy in a small quarrel in a park in Dreisden. Or I might talk about the ban of Burqa or Niqab in Europe and how does it affect the diversity of Europe, is it parallel with their so-called motto unity in diversity or whether it is just a rhetoric? 

Subhanallah!!! There are actually many issues that we could talk and elaborate on concerning the modern Europe. I thought that I can't relate it with the old Europe before WWII and I am going to stuck in this varsity forever or being kicked out for not completing my degree and facing humiliation before Allah.

For now, I will follow the advice of a lecturer from research methodology class. Doing some reading, and I will try to stay calm insyaa-Allah although only Allah knows the turbulence in my heart.

May Allah forgive us our daily sins forgiving my false speech,  but guiding me to His true path. Grant us serenity and may His glory strucks obstacles in our way to see Him. Allah bless our holy prophet Muhammad (saw), Allah bless his family, and Allah please bless all of his companions, his disciples, and his followers the faithful Muslims, Ameeen!!!!