An Eid Talk with a Hostel Mate, Brother and Friend : )

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

I will always be proud with this friend and will mention his name without any alteration. His name is Alef bin Ahmad. I do not know whether he would reach here but I want you to know Alef. You are my brother in this world and hereafter. I believe that if people love you, it is surely because Allah 'Azza wa Jalla loves you. If people hate me, it is because Allah 'Azza wa Jalla hates me and I deserves it for what evil that I had committed. This friend of mine was not so fortunate because his father passed away due to sudden "heart-attack" while working at their village and he was still in the first year studying in the university. He is from Yan. He is still living with his mother and siblings back there in Yan.  

Yan is a district within our state but by our state standard, it was actually a region with few feudal lords just like other places in our state. Most of feudal lords and chieftains were actually of Arab descent but there were also native feudal lords from the native court. By today we have 12 districts but before 18th century we had few other districts or regions which is now in the lower of Myanmar, separated as a different state with its independent king and in Southern Thailand. One of our district in Southern Thailand is known as Satun which was separated into Thai administration under the governance of a royal member known as Ku Din bin Ku Meh while another which was made a state by its own right is Perlis. The king of Perlis now is of Arab descent of Jamalullayl Sayyid clan who happened to intermarry with Kedah female royal members.       

Alef was one of my hostel mate but not my course mate. We were quite close back then when I was in Aman hostel in the Universiti Sains Malaysia (USM). The hostel has so many memories for me before I went further my postgraduate studies. I have no picture with him nor any other friends at that time so people might think I am a lone-ranger at all the time. Alef is among my friend and he is my compatriot Kedah national. Our religion and faith which is Islam and the state, Kedah Darul Aman where we share the same regional language and cultural traits bonded us together as very close brothers though our state is very diverse in term of ethnicity and cultural traits by its regions. I used to watch TV with him other than with Amir. During Ramadan, we would talked about various issues whether it is about religion, daily life and politics. We became even more closer after I visited him but I just tried to avoid talking anything about whatever I did because I don't want him to feel grateful to me. I did that as a responsibility to comfort him and his family. I do not want any return and anything that I donated is not of myself but from Allah 'Azza wa Jalla. It was his property once he received it and it's not so much because I just donated what I can. If I have that much then that much is donated for unfortunate brothers and sisters. That's all.  

I used to visit him and his family just after his father passed away. I did not have any vehicle back then and I saw that those Kelantanese hostel mates had left for Alef's father burial. Other compatriots had left me alone with Amir without informing us. I just hit Amir with a message and trying to see whether he is interested to visit the poor family and pay respect to the deceased. I guess Amir did not understood me. I felt so sorry that I cannot pay respect and help in burial process of Alef's father. After a week, and we were still in long term holiday. I prepared a rucksack and took buses for Yan from Penang. I immediately reserved some RM300 (USD 98.70) from my personal account for Alef's mother and buying few stuffs for condolence donation under the da'awa banner because of Allah and started to travel for Yan. I understood how Alef felt especially I had just lost my beloved grandmother where I cried like a crazy little kid and losing appetite for weeks. It was very difficult to access the rural area while I was alone. There was only one or two route of buses from Sungai Petani to Alor Setar through Yan. When I arrived in the rural area there was no bus anymore and by the time it was near Maghrib prayer service. I never informed Alef anything about my visit. I know Allah 'Azza wa Jalla was with me. Then I chartered a taxi at the little town and I cannot remember how much it was. When I arrived at the village only I called Alef just to inform him I am visiting his family because I cannot help with burial lest saying condolence. I feel so ashamed of myself because the matter of death is very important for me and it reminds me on how helpless I am before Allah if He does not sustain me with His precious Mercy.

After long, Alef had gave me a text message wishing me for Aidul'adha greetings. I am actually so happy to receive the message from him. I do not make many friends in my entire life and I am always grateful to Allah 'Azza wa Jalla for few friends and acquaintances that I have though we cannot see each other often. They are actually my pride as our beloved imam Ali r.a said: "The most helpless among men is he who cannot find a few brothers during his life time. But still is more helpless is he who find such a (good) brother but loses him". That is why I always feel afraid to be closer to newly-known brothers or friends. If they leave their footprints in our heart, we would feel like dying when the "time" ends. I do not care whether a "brother" is a Muslim or non-Muslim. The definition of a brother or a sister is very broad for me. Once they are considered as my "brother" it means their blood is also my blood. I would have to protect them like protecting my self.  If they are sad, I would have to comfort them like I comfort myself.

I called Alef when he miscalled me. Just talked with him like around 20 minutes and we talked about we missed each other and other friends while we were living in the hostel. All of friends had left us and we had lost contact. I just said to him I am grateful that I do not lost his contact. We talked about job and I could sense that he feels low self-esteem. I just told him the truth. I am a "da'awa cadre" but I never appear like one because I need to be alert with the situation and condition of society. I did postgraduate studies and it seems like I am pursuing it for career advancement but the real meaning is that I am doing this postgraduate studies to reconcile the gaps between traditional Islamic sciences and other fields. Nobody understood me even my younger sisters said that I am a "chowder-head" when they saw that I never grab any opportunity to further anything or getting good jobs for myself. 

I began to understood my destiny and facts of life when I was in Holy Mecca while I sat alone in the desert and pondering myself in al-Haram al-Sharif. And I felt so sinful that when I returned that I tried to return to the "responsibility" again. This is actually a very painful situation I think one would rather stabbed their heart with knife than to feel stuck like this. I told Alef to be patient and take a good care of his family. Do not worry about worldly affairs as we have faith in Allah 'Azza wa Jalla. He had already prescribed our fate in His tablet and our sustenance is within His wisdom. Just do not feel low and to strive hard to perform worship to Allah 'Azza wa Jalla. Learn more about kitabs and try to increase knowledge through religious discourses in his state. He still messaged me after we end our conversation and saying thanks for not forgetting him though he lives in the village. I just dropped few tears after reading that because it is me who should be thankful to him... I wish you happy Aidul'adha and in the Day of Atonement may our sacrifice brings us closer to Allah's Compassionate Mercy and Love. I am not good with words but you can feel it when I am closer to you, dear friends and brothers. I am just a nobody since I honor you as blessings of Allah for me :')  

            

I wish Allah 'Azza wa Jalla to have mercy on me because I am afraid Allah would throw me into the torments in the hereafter if my intention is wrong. I do not intend to tell anything here as something to boast nor getting names. I even mildly scolded Azren, who lived in the same hostel last time when he told his friends about my visit to Alef's house because that is not my intention to boast around instead I did it alone and not inviting others. I am doing that for Allah 'Azza wa Jalla and it is our traditions to comfort brothers and sisters who are in sadness. This is just a memory with Alef. He is one of my pride and I wish him to be among the da'awa cadres propagating His Names and teachings of morality by understanding the spirits which determined me to visit his house last time and why I keep them in my prayers :') 

Dedicated to my beloved prophet Muhammad s.a.w, his progeny and his companions may Allah always be in contact with them, bless them and be merciful to them. I also dedicate this post for brothers and sisters in faith and brothers and sisters in humanity. No matter where you are... Those who had been in contact with me are actually kept safely in parts of my heart. Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aali Muhammad wa sahbihi ajma'in.

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace and love, amin!

Aidul Adha 2011: Little Walk in the Campus

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

Just the same places where I use to walk in my daily life while studying here. Since first degree until now. What can I say, feel bored walking in the same place but we appreciate what we have. Might be it is good for us or might be something torturing but at least we have something for our selves. Many students have affection to this place. I have no attachment to this place and I don't really develop friendship here so I don't feel any attachment : ) 

Mai kita jalan-jalan tempat biasa... hehehe

Crossing Bukit Gambir Road into the campus

Jalan Bukit Gambir, view from flyover

Welcome to the campus at Bukit Gambir gate

USM Stadium at Bukit Gambir gate

Students' Main Hall (DUP) from the pavement, just after rain pouring down

 Close up at DUP, this is the place we used to sit for examination during first degree time

View of Indah Kembara male hostel from a bus stand 

Prayer Hall of Masjid al-Malik Khalid, this is the only place that I missed in USM I cried here before Him pleading help to face this life : )

I have many memories with grandparents too. Sometimes we were left in our village in Perlis or our grandparents would look after us when they come over to visit us. I hate to stay in the village too when I was a child because we only could listen to radio and can't watch TV. Radio channel that I listened when I was in Perlis was broadcasting from Southern Thailand. Even the TV channel that I could only watch is Malaysian Radio and Television Channel 1 while other popular channel like TV3 can't be reached with short aerial. Most people in grandparents house are settlers from Southern Thailand and they speak in Thai at home although they are Malays. Small numbers of minority were settlers from southern states such as from Negeri Sembilan. Grandparents were settlers from Sanglang of Kedah state and we regard Perlis as a territory of Kedah Sultanate, haha.   

Besides, we can't make friend with village kids because they would mock us as kids from the city whom are viewed in generalization as bunch of arrogant kids. Some villagers (traditional) ones always looking down to us as ungodly people and deserve no respect so they talked to us in impolite manner. I hate to stay in the village too. My sisters always teasing me, they said you are unfriendly unlike us. They are female and when they bring their friend home, they do not have to worry as I am the only male among them beside my dad who is another.

I always think about others before I do anything for myself. Even when I wanted to give foods to a cat or a dog, I would first make sure that it is safe for the animal. If I bring my friends home, I am afraid that everyone would feel uncomfortable since our house is actually a small house, we are poor people. I had been to friends' houses and staying at their house which actually denotes that I make friends and contacts with people around. As an example, I had been to Alep house in Yan just after his dad passed away during our first year as a degree student. He was not even my course mates nor room mates and we are just hostel mates. I understood how it feels when losing someone we love because I love my grandparents though I had not acted as a filial grandson to the late grandpa due to some misunderstanding. I am still maintaining contact with Alep.

Sadly other friends including my ex-roommate Zaidi had lost from the reach because I don't think I have any significance in others' life. Once I think that I have no function in people life, I would get rid myself from them. Other than that, female and male are different in term of functions although we are both human-being. So, we can't take everyone as fitting others but as unique on their own. I regret that sisters at home, even mum has the thinking that everyone must be the same in function. When I say to them why don't you do man job if human function the same? They would rant saying: "It's like no men at home!" If, human are the same in function and ability, why not women be truck drivers, electricians, technicians, mechanics and etc? I will give my full support to women who involve themselves in these field rather than just talk but never walk their talk, LOL... 

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!

Aidul Adha 2011: Just Having Some Walk in Queensbay

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

Didn't plan it. I just grabbed my bag to find something for lunch. Then spontaneously waiting for the bus in front of Tesco. Had a talk with a Penang guy working in the Tesco. He had his time off and going home, so I have some nice chat with him about Penang and bus system. Also about migrant workers from Indonesia where they are concentrated in Relau area.

Poor kid, he said that he wanted to further studies but he has to keep some money. I just think that university is not really a place to study or developing studies but rather a place to keep knowledge only for internal circulation. Other than that, people are not studying because of the passion to study, researching on how to enhance services, or doing something for the betterment of society but only to find job if it is in Malaysian context. So, what's the different between furthering studies and already working? In the end people would have to work for a living either working in a nice office with nice salary or end up like some of my Malaysian Chinese seniors from Kedah in the Language Center working as salesgirls or restaurant managers : ) 

Besides that, who said that I'm not a friendly person if I always keep my silence, hehe. I can be friendly if I wanted to be but when some people who saw me talked with me, I had decided to be unfriendly because of certain reasons. I believe that nothing in the universe and in space existence last long, so do friendship or whatever it is.

Some interior design in Queensbay above the entrance 

 Crowded... We don't have to go for Xiamen or Fujian to travel because here we could also experience being in Southern China region : )

Japanese Restaurant: Nippon Yadamura level Basement Queensbay

Though I don't really like the ideas of the leader who proposed the Look to East (Japan) policy in educational and technological development industry, but I can't deny I love Japanese. I hope some Chinese nationals who are passing here do not smash my face... hehehe. My ability to converse in Japanese had obsolete almost two years ago after I joined Japanese minor class for translation and interpretation degree course. It's because of YOU, Yang Lee Soo! Hate you because if I know that you'd control the classes, I would refrain from that worthless class but rather furthering it in real Japanese University! 

Your teaching method is out of the scheme and not interesting. I'm sorry to say this. I had took the pain learning Japanese in order to read Buddhism books when I was around 15-16 years old. Japanese teachers like Watanabe Jigo, Watanabe Noriko and Goh Sensei who taught me in Egami Private Language Center in Sri Petaling were far more better. I regret I can't complete my Japanese studies. Otherwise, I would have translated all of the fiqh shari'iyyah and tasawwuf books in the rack into Japanese for Muslim Japanese brothers and sisters references. Now I have to do it in Chinese first because my Japanese grammar was destructed by that Yang Sensei who taught in a UNIVERSITY.

Japanese Milk Tea

I miss Japan. I used to buy this in Mami Maato Department Store in front of the factory at Chiba in Tokyo... : ( I can't find this in other convenient store here nor in vending machine like when I was in Japan. We only have green tea and Taiwanese tea. It brings me back to my memory when I was 18 years old. I paid RM8.65 for a little bottle simply because I missed it, ouchhhh!

Jusco drinking water: RM0.35, hehe.

Hainanese Chicken Rice

I didn't check whether it is halal or not but what to do... I had already ordered without checking the owner's status. Next time we must not rush in doing things. Usually they would display certificate in open places like food court but too many people today so I went to place where there was less people, never mind. I hate making fuss about things because it is impolite. 

I just leave the chicken out but only taking the rice, it costs me RM6. Luckily I had bought a fried chicken before entering the food court so I ate that with the rice. Anything wrong I ask forgiveness from the God and His Mercy. That is my weakness and my fault and I am weak. I just used sign language talking with the Chinese hawker. She thought that I am some kind of foreigner since I didn't talk when ordering but just pointing at the menu. She thought that maybe this guy is a Vietnamese or Burmese or perhaps he is deaf or mute, lolll. It's very nice to use sign language, everyone can understand it and no need for voice.  

Penang Bridge view from Queensbay open air parking lot.

A cafe outside the shopping complex.

Many people crowding the shopping complex since it's a public holiday here. Bus is also full with people... 

It's jammed, and many cars. I'm sure those farm folks in the US or Europe never see the world enough when they thought that people in eastern part of the world live on trees. Perhaps they're penniless and stuck in their farms though their currency is higher, kesian... 

Prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!

'Aiduladha Mubarak

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

I wish everyone 'aiduladha mubarak, 古爾邦節快樂, 祝願安拉把全人遮蔽吧 kurbang jieh kuaile, zhuyuan Allah ba quanren zhebi bah!  I pray so that may Allah protect everyone in this uncertain period near the resurrection.

I am now still in the midst of our examination since I still have other two papers which are the Global Political Economy and International Relation. It is quite frustrating that I could not enjoy the celebration like others but I am thankful to Allah for having His mercy on me so that I could see the celebration this morning and pray communal prayer in the mosque.

Yesterday I fast so that Allah will grant His mercy on everyone. I had not performing fast since long after being advised by someone that it is not good to fast so much as I am just a skinny guy, haha. Frankly I don't really care about myself. But as to say everything has its right so I decided not to over the limit. Besides Allah will hate me.

This 'aiduladha will always be a remembrance for me. I went for Hajj pilgrimage last six years. I really miss the moment and the Holy Land since then. Today the people will getting ready to go for Mina for jamrah. I will always remember what I had experienced in Mecca. It is an interesting spiritual journey and hope that I could go through it as many times as possible. I love it so much, hope that my Arabic will get better again also I could memorize Quran in full insya'Allah : )

May Allah bless our honorable father, Ibrahim (as), and his family. Blessed be our prophet Muhammad (saw) and his family and his companion also everyone.