What Am I Doing in Gap Period???

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

My new hair I shaved it all on 29th of July 2012

I don't know actually what I wanted to write. I still have the balance of the thesis to be finished before December 2012. So, kinda stopping by and reading again what I wrote. Found them very weird maybe I wrote them in several moods, hehe. Ow yeah, just letting brothers and sisters who read this about the job interview on 15th of August 2012. I guess the job is not meant for me as they never call me even after the 'Eid holiday to inform me whether I am eligible or else. So, it is ok maybe Allah has other plan for me. I'm not so much hoping for the job and I sent other applications to other companies and organizations as well. 

Sometimes when we see around of course it would make us thinking that we have no life like other people as they are settled down, have money, possessions, married and could relax with friends during holiday doing activities like sport or vacation together with friends. It would be lying to say that if we looked and something and we would not be thinking because we have brain and soul. Lying is a portal to sins, hehe. Think it in other way around. Maybe it would also be stressful to work as not all people facing the same situation. I just think to pay my study loan which I think is not good thing to be postpones. I hate debts and I regret that I took it when doing undergraduate papers. After few years pondering and contemplating; I guess our education system nowadays, not only in our country but in whole world is to get human labors rather than for the development of civilization based on humanity values but we would ask what kind of labors that we need? 

There are many rough jobs in services like waiter, receptionist, call center customer service, supervisors, management trainee and others. There are also rough jobs like construction sectors and others. There would be questions asked by people who are already settled down, why university graduates (they who ask are also graduates) refuse to work in service fields and others and trying to grab their positions in government or private sectors? Let me answer, because people who ask the question also never do that kind of job. If they did the job, did they do it permanently? Certainly no because doing the job like that is tiresome, consists of shifts and they took away our resting time which could be used to develop spiritual knowledge like studying scriptures. So, we ask others, why not we think in the shoes of others? Just try to put our ruh (soul) inside the body of the person that we asked. I personally hate when people that I encountered asking me, what are you doing right now? Where are you working? It is a sensitive question to other people who are jobless, try to talk about other things for example like what food you love to eat? This is more polite for me. Other than that, why would we tell kids to study and get through the university if we can get labors without wasting government expenditure? It is just a waste time to study in the university while we could earn money and buy low-cost house if we just go right away to work after O-Level or even LCE. Basic school education is more than enough.        

Well, in this gap period which is the period where I am stuck before transferring to other phase of life I would read all sorts of thing especially things related to philosophies because those books are in my father's collection and I don't have to buy them. Many people who don't really engaged in philosophies might think that I have some short circuits in my head when I talk but I am actually talking philosophies and I am talking about daily human life. Sometimes I just use rough words used in daily life without using high academic words because most of all many people in the world talk more than observe or reading. Philosophies was banned during the period of struggle between imam al-Ghazali and the Shi'a Muslims or Mu'tazila groups related to the Creed about God. I also discussed with mom to dispose some books and just leaving behind religious studies books. I would try to memorize some important religious books for example prayers or hadiths that I could memorize and jot them down again beside practicing them before disposing those books too as to preserve the contents of the books. 

I walked at night around my family's house neighborhood. Maybe I would take some stroll at 12 a.m alone and reciting Quranic verses while walking for two or three hours greeting the unseen brothers and sisters around, hehe. I found that I don't have any surviving friends in my neighborhood anymore. Last time I was in lower six class, I had some friends but all of them had already furthering studies in various colleges and universities before we could even end our form six classes, hehe. Many had moved out from the area too and I don't make any new friend anymore here after we also moved out from old quarter. 

Yesterday's evening I just bought some exercise books to jot down Farsi lessons and starting some translation of kitabs into Chinese for future usage. It's just to increase my knowledge about Islam in Chinese language so next time when Chinese friends asking for information, I would easily convey the message in pure, plain and non-mixed Chinese. I found that Farsi is an interesting language and one of my acquaintance studying in Iran also learned the language and Islamic philosophies there. Rarely talk to him but sometimes I would chat with him and enjoy listening his experience and researches.

I also read some blogs written in Malay about random people life and their language style is quite nice, loll. Dah macam baca novel la pulak. I envy these people as they could write in proper Malay. I just know how to write in dialectical Malay which sometimes people don't understand and sometimes the grammar is upside down, hahaha.  

Sleepy, I need to rest my eyes...  Please help me praying for my father's health and may I finish my thesis before December, insha Allah.

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace and love, amin!    

Aidul Adha 2011: Little Walk, Tekun Desa

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

These ones are pics taken yesterday. It was quite pleasant when the climate turns a bit colder after rain. And there were not so many people so I can capture pictures without being seen. Feel uncomfortable when people looking at us snapping here and there, hahaha.  

Campus Site

Moss (Bryophyte) along the pavement just at Fajar Harapan without roof' bus stand

Padang Kawat or marching field where police and army students marching during their activities. I used to drink canned tea and coffee or having some snacks here alone at night when I was in second and third year degree. Then watching at the moon or stars. I wasn't really hanging around with my colleague, Amir though we used to chat about many things. He lives in Jitra in Kedah so everyweek he could return home while I have to stay alone and thinking what should I do while I was alone... : )

Main bus stand for those who live at the hostels across the road to take commuter bus to classes

Climb these stairs at the bus stand to the flyover to RST hostel complexes, picture senget sikit rasa macam nak terbalik pulak, hahaha

 Flyover if we do not want to wait for traffic light in front of Bukit Gambir road

RST Complex Site 

RST complex with the hill as its background. I just imagined myself spending my time in Bhutan while looking at the hill, hehehhe

Desa Universiti with shop lots view from flyover, there you're Khaleel and Roti Bakar restaurants with Maju Jaya and 7E convenient store.

 

Reaching down the flyover, yeahhhh take some deep breath!!!! 

 

Cross the road, I don't know what to call this road, maybe it's called as Jalan desa Tekun

It's trying to warm itself, such a cute creature

 

Neighboring houses, nice architecture

Tekun Hostel Complex

 

Am not sure what is this construction for, but it seems like bus stand with roof

 

Welcome to desasiswa Tekun and Housing Unit, it's just upstairs

 

Climb stairs and... Hey, cats I hate to show my affection to them when people are there but I would hug them when I am alone, these creatures are cute animals... hahahaha

 

Thank you elevator, it brings me up this skyscraper

This is my hive, the first room that I could see is Raof and Badi'ozaman's room. Raof is from Sri Lanka and Badio is from Serawak, our Northern Borneo compatriot

Astaghfirullah, is this a room or a tongkang pechah????! ahahaha

Bo..bo dulu... deh!!! hahahahaaha.....

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!!!

It is so boring!

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

It has been a while. We are near to Ramadan day by day, today is 17th of Sya'aban 1432 H. I don't know whether I would perform rehlah to Bangkok or not before this Ramadan. It's in my head since long and I feel quite bored in USM. I would feel like I wanted to bang my head on the wall when I am bored. 

You know when you stay alone without any human presence to lead you, satan will blow the poison in your head and evil mind will appear and influencing you until you forget Him, then losing self control. It also happens to our brothers in soul who are about to die or leaving the world. So, we can't leave them alone. I'm still patient and accepting the period like this as a test from Allah. His slaves, the children of Israel were also tested by Allah in isolation as a mean to purify their sins. Noble prophet Muhammad s.a.w was also in isolation and performed 'uzlah away from a corrupt society.

I actually have many things in my head but as always mobility and limitation are our problem. I am alone and I need to carefully plan the trip and everything to make sure that I won't have any problem beyond the border.

What should we do tomorrow, ya 'abdallah?

1) Activate our atm card at the bank for overseas activation and ask whether they have the branch in the city? We can't bring too much cash in hand and it's dangerous especially when we are alone. I had this experience even in KL, kawan kena pau dengan two Patanese or perhaps Kelantanese when I was in form six just across Central Market.

2)  Find the past paper for the exam paper and notes from the files for the subject that we need to repeat in the next semester. We need to xerox them for a senior, an she really is a senior citizen.

3) Clean up the room and my side including the floor mopping. I need to warn brother Fairuz not to come by for few months. I had offered him a shelter in my room but I didn't warn him that he can't use the side of my roommate. I arrived in USM the day where bro. Fairuz in the room. That's why he slept at the roommates bed. I actually am offering my bed to bro. Fairuz because he still have few weeks to see his supervisor and I understand the condition of those who have no room. He doesn't have to worry about me because I can sleep on the floor. But I guess he might not dare to come again. I had lost a person who recite His teachings in my room, blessings will be gone too :'(

He was scolded by the roommate for using the other side when the roommate uncle suddenly arrived early in the morning. I am so sorry for that. Well, you know a teacher and an uncle. He must be quite strict with principles and anyone would be pissed off arriving searching for the bed and suddenly came over an unknown guy at their place. 


I'm strict with principles too but I may tolerate brothers of da'awa movement. The roommate is not always in the room. He comes once a month to see his supervisor. I have to flee the room too to avoid from arguing with the roommate over brother Fairuz issue. He doesn't know anything about me in detail because we are not close and the story of my relationship with Tabligh-e-Jama'at brothers here anyway. I had my previous Kelantanese roommates bringing scouting friends, smoking in the room and slept on my bed during my first degree but I could still tolerate them and be patient. Why can't elderly be tolerant to others too and politely asking people on what actually happened? Seriously, I can't understand some people thinking.    

4) Change some money to TB and USD at Forex because I may need it for expenditure in the rehlah. Maybe I would need some cash in hand for some food and bus fare. I might also accidentally bound for Chiangmai or perhaps Laos. So need to be careful with the money spent and be careful with the people around too not to be cheated. Recite some supplications and dzikrs to avoid evil in travel regardless anywhere we are. Check the debit card too coz we have no credit card. Thanks to al-Rajhi. 

5) Make some list for things to bring for the rehlah. Check also immigration law of the country and the other country at the north. Time is limited so everything must be need. Find the list of mosques and their addresses in Bangkok and also in Chiangmai, just in case. Also the address of Malaysian embassy and Wisma Putra contact number. Check for the list of budget hotels in case we can't find mosques or we can't stay at the mosque. Maybe we can also check for some temples whether they have some vacant room for some donation to the temple if we have no choice.

6) Check for economy class ticket for the train to Bangkok and prepare for a killing waist. Ask for the immigration procedure in the train. Bring some notebook and jot down relatives contact number in Thai and English script in a notebook. Make a list for places that we need to visit especially holy places (mosques) and Muslim areas to avoid time-wasting. How many days we would stay there? Maybe around 4 days, or perhaps a week. Hopefully not extended to a week, we have no financial support and alone. Don't bring any school books to clear up our jammed mind except for Quran and prayer book to recite prayers and blessings for the trip and people around.   

Urmmm, just enough to do list for tomorrow. It's just a plan anyway, it's not guaranteed to happen. No need to rush and no disappointment if it does not happen, ok : ) Make sure to read Quran and start the memorization again tomorrow. I can't really memorize Quran in room when brother Fairuz was in the room. Maybe because I'm shy or perhaps afraid I would disturb him with certain rituals to respect the mushaf. I'm just like that since I always have to keep my religion a secret in front of non-Muslim friends or afraid being looked down upon by some "zealots" last time. It developed to be a bad habit then.

What did we do today????? Nothing interesting... I had to stay at Azren's room since the morning of 16th Sya'aban until today's afternoon. I tried to avoid quarrel with the uncle about why did I gave shelter to our brother and coincidentally he slept on his bed. He pays for the bed and his side so he is also rightful when it comes to half part of the room. It's ok, I understand him. I don't blame anyone. I just prayed Fajr prayer inside Azren's room because I didn't bring any hygiene stuffs and my shirt stinks with sweat smell. It's not so nice to be close to holy sanctuary with stinky cloth. But I had no choice.

A whole day wandering inside the campus waiting for the uncle to leave the room. I prayed yesterday's Dzuhr and 'Asr prayers in mosque too. After Fajr prayer and dzikr ma'thurat services, I just went to sleep without reciting any Quranic verses. Azren was still sleeping at that time. I don't wanna disturb him. Thanks to Azren for the shelter offered, he also trusted me to duplicate his room's key. At least I can find some place when I have problem with an elderly roommate. I really appreciate his assistance. 

I think being a roommate to the elderly is quite difficult compared to be with teenagers or young guys. I don't know why I have to stay with the elderly although I had requested to the office to be placed with people younger than 40 years old. I pay the rental for every month, so technically they should also take note on my request. I'm not really particular with others' religious status. I can stay with non-Muslim and I'm familiar with them compared to fellow Muslims. As long as the person could masuk kepala with me, then I would have no problem at all with his religious practices or belief as long as he respect others. Maybe I should apply for the room inside the campus for the next semester. Might be at my previous hostel in Aman. It would be another fussy job to write letters here and there dealing with bureaucracy, dear Lord!

I went down to have some dinner at Jawi restaurant after Maghrib prayer at room. Typical Southern Thai restaurants that we always refer as kedai makan Siam. This kind of restaurant is at all the place now. Maybe a new kind of colonization or an effect of globalization of Thai food, LOL. Jawi is also a reference for us whom are the Malayan of Arab descents. Maybe it also makes me interested to always have my dinner there, haha. I never go to other restaurants although we have other restaurants at Ivory and University Place unless if I am with friends who wanted to have their meal at other restaurants.

After dinner, I went for Isyaa' prayer at Ivory musalla. Nobody there so I sadly prayed alone. It was already passing the congregational time because at the time I took my dinner, people already called for 'Isya' prayer. Feel quite guilty for not joining the congregation but I'm afraid that I will passed out because I had eat nothing for the whole day. 

 Random pic from flicker, this is not the tokong I went to.

After the prayer, I went down and walked passed the Persiaran Gambir street, further down and crossing the road to another side. I went to a small tokong (Chinese temple) under the hillside there, called 廣福宮 the Guangfu Gong. Urm, I know there are many temples with that name. But it is a given name for the temple by community around. Just feel bored and I have nobody to talk to so I just went to the temple to see what happened down there. They had a religious ceremony down there and as always a platform was set up for a singing show. I just watch people down there doing their religious ceremony beside listening to some songs in Hokkien, Mandarin, and Cantonese.  Frankly, I had been to the temple twice since the last Qingming.

The guy who sings the Mandarin song has a very good pronunciation. Quite impressive because I usually having a hard time to understand many people's Mandarin because we have also developed our own style of Chinese, hahaha. I read the flag there and it says that it's a ceremony for 老大帝 Laoda Di or 玄天帝 Xuantian Di. The name denotes that the god character is an emperor. I guess there is other sage name too, but I can't really see the flag and I don't want to show that I am not a local although they possibly could detect that, haha. I can only recognize 觀音菩薩 Guanyin Pusa because she is a famous goddess for Chinese Buddhists. Some Mahayana Buddhists call the equivalent god to Guanyin as Podhiseth Awalo (god Avalokiteswara). Just an additional info for those who are not familiar with Buddhism and performing da'awa. At least you have some idea about what are those things.

I saw two priests or bomoh doing some rituals. It seems like they were alternately possessed by 'something', perhaps 'gods' represented by the idols on altars there and they wrote some magic words on golden and silver papers and on the forehead or the body parts of people who ask for bad omen to be removed from them. They drank the water with a kind of leaf in it. I'm just lazy to ask people around but just observing through the haze of jossticks. 

A lady was also possessed there and she screamed. I don't know whether she really was possessed but she seems like in pain when the water with the leaves in the vessel sprinkled at her face. Perhaps the effects of heavy jossticks' smoke. The rituals done there looks more to folk beliefs. 

The only Buddhism influence that I could see is shown by the Bodhisatva Guanyin statue at the main altar there. Other seems more like Chinese folk belief or regional Daoism. I'm not really familiar with Daoism though, it's a Chinese traditional religion. They have dozens of beer and donated rambutans too. Those who talked with the possessed priests then gave RM10 in red packets to them.

I just hit the keyboard when I arrived at the room. Now I need to perform ghusl or ma'mad ritual to clean up myself and renewing my faith toward Allah after entering non-Muslim area and attending a non-Muslim ceremony. I smell like a burned lizard because of intense colok burning down there, ahahahahahahaa.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad, wa 'ala ahlihi wa sahbi-hi ajma'in. Dear Allah our Lord, please be in contact with the noble prophet Muhammad s.a.w and his family and his companions and everyone. Sealed with prayers for peace, mercy and love, amin!