Hope is Possible -

Assalamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

While worshiping the God the Highest, a human-being is constantly in the battle with his enemies mainly the cravings and evil whispers. Both of them are influencing human to leave behind the God the Highest in their life.

Some of us perhaps talking within ourselves, if human should worship the God the Highest, why our inner selves are not reminding us? The reason is that, these two spiritual enemies are working their way to influence both of our heart and mind bringing us into the path of destruction.

Says the God the Highest which means, "Indeed the Satan is your obvious enemy" (Surat al-Baqarah vs. 168). Further, the God the Highest also mentions as it means, "Indeed desire always urging man-kind to evil" (Surat Yusuf vs. 53).

Because of these two spiritual enemies that human's heart keep staying in negligence and rebellious toward the Creator. Say that if it is fated these two enemies are not in existence thus human perhaps would know his Creator and loving Him. Even sunken in devotion to Him since it is the nature of every soul framed by human body to know Him and recognizing Him as their direction of reverence, worship and magnification.

Besides studying and pondering everything with the pure heart and mind, we realize from the studies of history that human-being of any period of life or location in the earth could never escape from disasters or those things disliked by them. This is a part of the God's order and divine predestination.

Disaster, tests and tribulations befall on everyone regardless they are a good or evil person, a Muslim or a non-Muslim. They would hit on everyone regardless whether he is a pious or a treacherous person. For e.g a person who could escape from poverty, if he is not facing the lack of means, perhaps is poor at his soul. A person who is poor at his soul never feel enough with anything that he has. Because of the lack of faith that he always feel the lack of everything in his life. Even more severe a person who is poor at his possession but also poor at the soul. At certain times, I could not avoid from questioning my faith and feeling ashamed to Him when this thought emerged in my mind at the midst of my life stage now. Furthermore... I just repented to the path about 10 years ago and trying hard to cope again with the responsibility and environment around. I cried alone when nobody sees me and trying to be close to Him as I do not know where else to go :'(

If human-being could escape from poverty, can he escape from sickness? Even a doctor also subjected to diseases. Doctors are human-being too. This is the Justice of the God the Highest where everyone are subjected to diseases. Disease is a messenger from Him to remind human-being. Even if a human is not lack of material possessions and not sick, but can he avoid from being a victim of slanders and backbitten by others? Human-being could not avoid from troubles caused by other human-being, even many of them were killed and murdered.

Other than that, can a human avoid from being hit with natural disasters such as tsunami, hurricanes, thunder and etc? Or can we avoid from losing our family members such as parents, wife, husband or children? Nobody wants that but He still inflicts it upon them. No one could escape from the tests and tribulations in this life. Muslims, non-Muslims, all human-being alike. If disasters and craps are equal on everyone, thus it is better for us to believer who is tested rather than being a disbeliever. It is better to be a worshiping slave while being tested rather than being a rebellious person in that period of tribulations.

Never in the history of man-kind that those who are inflicted by tribulations and tests are just the righteous ones, those who worship the God in devotion while the disbelievers are not stricken with sickness, never experience poverty nor never troubled by others. Everyone experience it.

So, it is better for us to be inflicted with disasters while worshiping and obeying Him since a genuine believer when being inflicted with troubles could take it as the remission of sins. The God the Highest only inflict us to teach us lessons and to raise us up from the torments of the hereafter since the torments in the hereafter is unbearable. For believer who is sinless, and he is pleased with the tests the the tests will be a testimony for the ascension of his position in His view. As for the treacherous person and further that he becomes a disbeliever due to hardships he encounters, thus the tests will turn to him as a curse of the God the Highest whether in the earth or in the hereafter. There is a hell in the world for him, and he will be tormented in the hell in the hereafter.     

So, there is no reason for us to not to worship the God the Highest. If we say that if we worship Him and we will become poor, then it is also the same when we do not worship Him. If we checked daily news about suicide, those who are shot dead, or those involved in road accidents, then we know the fact that not only obedient person who are inflicted with tests and tribulations but also those who do not even know Him.

Since our mind and heart could not evaluate besides being tainted by evil whispers and craving desires that we have forgotten the God the Highest. Whereas if we could evaluate and ponder, we could see that disasters and the craps inflicted upon man-kind are equal though not the same in its situation nor period of time. Why are we afraid of troubles and poverty when we perform our devotional worship to Him??

This is what I am trying to tell people around me when my mouth is tightly glued. This is also what I experienced, touched, feels and see with my own eyes while before I was also ignorant and talking like other brothers and sisters when some people come to me and talking about leaving possessions behind because those who told me are not practicing what they preached. What I realize since being dipped in tortures now is that we should just ignore others but only strive hard with sincerity only for Him. Just leave people behind and let them with whatever they wanted to think or to say.... 

Sealed with prayer for mercy, peace and love, amin!          

Tests and Tribulations

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

I believe everybody reaches this stage where we are in the dilemma that we could not do anything nor moving to another stage of life. I am still stuck in this stage of life. I tried to purify myself and trying to forget everything around but Allah had also put tests on me. Sometimes it would also shaken our iman (faith) especially when we do not know to whom we should talk to. 

Well, of course Allah is the One for us to tell our problems but in other times we may also need someone like family member or friends to talk or share the problems but for me this is different. I can not share anything with anyone.  I am always a good listener to my sisters or my parents. When my dad faced problems with his boss during he worked somewhere in the federal government territory. He came to Penang and talked with me just before he resigned from his post after having a conflict with his superior which was a minister, it was around 2008. Even when he feel tensed after being a pensioner for long, he came to find me in Penang last year Ramadhan in 2010 and after he returned home. He was affected by stroke and admitted to hospital.  I was so worried but I can't return home. When my grandpa (mum's dad) passed away around early 2008, I was also occupied with exam at the next day. I can't return home and I regret that even until today, lamenting my self for being an ungrateful and evil grandson. Just after my grandpa passed away that my dad resigned from his post because of the pressure.  

I began to hate politicians because of my perception looking at my dad's situation and taking oath to follow sunnah strictly wherever I could detect the validity of the sunnah. Dad was actually a loyal worker although not a religious person and he would do anything for his superiors or friends but it actually harms him too. I thought that I may also inherit this side of his character too. So do to my friends, I always listen to them or at least I would approach them for services in comforting them and also praying for the best solutions for their problems during their upset circumstances. 

We must immediately recognize where the tests given is according to our own ability to face them. The God is the Most Wise amongst all and He certainly knows why we are in such situations. We do not know that since our mind is limited in comprehending the wisdom behind the tests and tribulations. We would only realize that after we passed the tests or our destiny ministering the paths of life.

Just browsing my job applications. I guess I have to renew my resume and add other things due to that the account was inactive for quite long. I still have another two semesters to go and I had took mixed mode courses so I have to attend classes. It would also stops me from finding proper jobs because I am not really good in the study. I may need to focus and be prepared for new lessons especially for complicated subject like the economy. 

Sometimes we may plan wrongly due to that human is not perfect. Especially I did not know where to consult and I didn't know my classmates yet in the beginning. I could not properly find job when taking this master but maybe try to earn money through part-time job. In the first year I had applied for cashier near my hostel but the boss said that I need to work until morning from the midnight everyday while I had classes from Monday to Tuesday.  I can't accept the job but turned it down.

I still hope that Dr. Noreha who taught us the political and decision making paper do not oblige me to attend her classes because I am just repeating. I promise to read her notes again and prepare better this semester but I need tools like money to survive. I hate to say but we need that for mobility, may He not count me a polytheist. I avoid taking any loan and also scholarships because I try to live on the dignity basis and limiting myself from receiving sympathy from others.

For me, I have these principles for life which are honesty, sincerity, integrity, dignity, loyalty and kind-loving to every fellow creatures. Even if I have to lost my life for that, I would not care. I had gained these standards of living from my experience as a confused boy, after I learned about our hadramis ancestry and realizing that we are the people without proper land since we are not accepted in our ancestral land and in fact only half related to locals through maternal lines. Though counted as bumiputeras (sons of the land) because of being here for centuries, we are the natives who know no boundaries. 

Many of our people are the traders and involved in business while in the same time preaching or teaching the faith to others and practising a form of sufi order which was inherited from fathers to the children. Previously, we do not call it as ahlul bayt sufism, but no name tariqah (path). Some people said that it was to avoid from being persecuted by the Abbasiah, but I guess that Islam is only one. Even if people ask me out of this virtual site, I would never admit that we are practicing certain tariqah due to unity of the nations that we always dream of. 

Later on, that our grandfathers being involved with business with royalties and nobility. My dad's father was a British officer in Kodiang, northern of Kedah Sultanate. They have no choice to have contact with local noblemen except through some of the local hadramis for their deals. My grandfather name is a bit Persian anyway and he has three wives.  My grandma is his second wife and the third wife has no child with him. The first wife I believe is from the same racial background.

Never get to see grandpa as he passed away because of lung cancer when my dad was 12 years old. My grandma passed away when my dad was 3 months due to jealousy of villager. At least, that is what I heard from elders. I hate magics and I would never tolerate that blasphemy!!! May Allah bless my grandparents both, I do not really know you people but I love you just like I love my holy prophet Muhammad (saw). May all of you rest in peace under His shade and in love.

Whoa, I can't believe that I could write longer when I talk about family. I'm trying to find few pics of elders like grandparents because I hope to contact few faithful relatives and acquaintance to establish faith connection amongst everyone and spreading the Mercy of the Lord to everyone. I beg the God to please put us on the right track again and do not leave us alone. 

I had also planned and told my sister who resides in Saudi to help me with visa in this near time to join her but we have so many plans in a time. We also need to highlight whatever is our priority right now. I don't really feel like continuing my studies since I was in the first semester of postgraduate but I had already been half of the way now. I had wasted my times, money and also borrowing my parents money although they never ask me to pay that back. I think that I must be responsible to pay it back just like I'm taking study loan because they also need the money as a guarantee for them. I feel guilty for taking their rights and in the same time I don't want any sympathy from government nor anyone. Let others who need that more get the sympathy and assistance. 

However, I personally think that the tests and tribulations given by the God also have their own grace. Where I could perform purification of heart, learning religious sciences and meditating while studying compared to if I am working. I had the experience working in the airport not long before I further my first degree and sometimes I had to skip prayer services and had to qadhaa' the salaat or paying the debt to the Lord in another prayer times. Sometimes I would sneak out from the office or crowds while dealing with job just to pray at the time in musalla because when we forget Him, He would also leave us. I am afraid of that!  

The tests and tribulations from the God is divided two, dear brothers, sisters and friends in faith. The first one is fitnah (the test) where it comes in the form where we would face difficulties in life. This happens due to that the God actually loves us. He wants us to be closer to Him and He would also untie the knots for us without we realize it. As for example brothers and sisters that I love the most, prophet Ayyub (Job) was tested by the God where he lost almost all of his children and his wife too left him because he was affected by strange dermatological disease. 

The second one is istidraaj. This is the test in the form of luxury and fake happiness in life but the test could also shake our iman just the same like fitnah but only in opposite form. We would forget the God when we are in easy time. When we are in difficulties only we would remember Him. That is not fair because His grace to His slaves is infinite. The example for this is the tribes of Tsamud and the 'Aad. The God had destroyed them after they refused to obey Him through His prophets whom are the holy prophets Saaleh (Selah) and Hud because they had lived in luxury and they felt that they have nothing to fear of.

May I remember this always and take heed of this. May it also benefits my brethren in faith due to that I love them and they are my soul. Allah please be in connection with prophet Muhammad (saw) and his family and his companions. Please also bless my brethren in faith and strengthen our iman (faith) to You. Do not leave us alone but be our Holy Company dear Lord.