What does it mean to be Muslim for a Family?

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

I manage to retrieve back some of these notes that I jot down from last month. I went to Sultan Mizan Zainal Abiddin mosque and listened to a lecture on a chapter from the book written by Fathi Yakan in the gap time before Isya' prayer. This book is quite famous in Malaysia with the title "Apa Ertinya Saya Menganuti Ajaran Islam?"

The ustad had mentioned where Fathi Yakan highlighted six matters. That day, they talked about the fifth matter and I was so unlucky as I had missed few matters earlier and also the last matter highlighted. They talked about being a Muslim from the aspect of family, creed, worship, and morality. Why do Mr. Yakan choose this topic for the discussion? Because we want a society that reflects Islamic characteristics which could be seen in the soul of everyone.

How could we call non-Muslim toward the God if we are showing bad examples to them? If we want to establish a sanctified nation, we should have a model to be seen by others. For example, before we begin our meals, we would recite supplications to the God or begin our meal with manners. Muslim family must be a model and guidance for others. If a house is in chaotic situation, what can we show to others? Thus, we must try to be Muslims in family angle and have to be caring to the community and taking the responsibility to be in service to others.

  

Says the messenger of the God may the God be in contact with him: "whomever ignores his brothers and sisters in faith, they are not apart of the Islamic nation." - narrated by Bukhari. 

As for example, how many persons before fallen into their sleep are thinking about the problem faced by the nation or how many of us had been thinking about our parents? How about people who are close to us? Remembering parents is a responsibility of every Muslim. Everyday, we must recite al-Fatihah for them no matter they are alive or had already returned to Him and protected under His mercy. Parents are the reason where we are here. Without them as the reason, we are nothing in the Universe. When our life growing better, we tend to forget our parents until we have no time to return home and see them whether they are in good condition or else?   

The responsibility of every Muslim is to prohibit vice and performing charity. Our responsibility had already been performed when we asked others to be together in charity and chastity even though those whom we are calling toward charity refused to follow. When we had already knocked the door and they refused to open it up, we are free from the sins and responsibility.  Our role is only to prohibit vice and promoting charity. Being in accordance with the glorious Quran and Sunnah. We perform our responsibility by telling others about what is Islam to the society and trying to establish it in our society or community.

Then Muslims are responsible to form a family with Islamic values. Establishing Islam in the house begins with the education where parents must teach their children to respect the teachings of the God which is Islam and the values in the teachings. The parents are responsible to bring everyone in the family to Him for example making the five obligatory salaat times as the time to remember Him without any interference. 

Muslim parents have the responsibility to ask the people in the family to protect their 'aurah (modesty) as what had been mentioned in surah an-Nur verse 53. An example in asking others to protect their 'aurah and in the same time teaching the family members about the way of life through presents according to sunnah such as veils or beautiful muslimah or muslim dress. A husband are obliged to ask his wife to change her skimpy clothes to better ones if she happens to wear it since she would be working 8 hours with male non-muhrim colleagues.   

Convey Islam to family members and to our selves as what had been mentioned by the God in His holy verses: "never call to the worship of other than the God for you will be dipped into the bitterness" (surah ash-Syuraa'). Teach our close family members and relatives about His Oneness, never proclaim that there are other power with the authority as possessed by Him. We must help and have the care in preserving the creed of our family member. When they are deviating, we would advice them to return to Him.

Check in surah at-Tahreem verse 6th where it mentions that hell fire would be ignited with stones and human, so we must be really careful with our daily conduct. We always think that it is easy when we perform salaat, the God would forgives us our sins just after we perform the salaat. But are we sure that our charity and salaat performed are accepted by the God? We should stop blaming our environment. We must first begin with our selves living our live as Muslims and playing our roles in our family. 

Everyone dreams of a good nation and receiving His forgiveness. This is a general matter, and family institution role is crucial in forming an Islamic family. A husband has a heavy responsibility. The sins committed by children will also be the share of the sins to the parents. The responsibility of promoting charity and prohibiting evil and vice is a very heavy responsibility. 

The glorious Quran shows the way to achieve the goal according to His teachings where it focuses on the family. When a couple get married, their marriage should not only about beauty or how handsome is the groom. The intention must be rightful because of the God and not because of the beauty of the girl or the guy that we want to get marry to. Nikah (marriage) is a reason and a sunnah for the establishment of a good and blessed family. 

When a couple entering the marriage contract, they must be readily to bear the trust from the God in the upbringing of the future generation and soul as what had been mentioned in surah az-Zumaar (I can't recall the verse, I am sorry). Everything that we do in our daily life is actually because of Him. After that, the couple would be stepping into the establishment of a society who understands the way of life according to His teachings. It is not merely a marriage contract where a man and a woman are willing to share their life but more than that where they are responsible in the establishment of a Muslim family. No need for an overly "bersanding" ceremony after the marriage contract and it would be best if the feast for marriage reception being done without waste. As to say, our acts must be viewed through religious rites perspective.

I'm going to print this version of notes typed in our national language and giving it to my newly-wed sister and her husband. I don't want them to just get away without revising their responsibility toward our Islamic society although they had already going to marriage courses before their marriage!!!! 

May Allah be in contact with prophet Muhammad s.a.w and his family and his companion. Allah please bless our society no matter whatever we are. Bless us with Your boundless mercy and forgiveness. Sealed with prayers for peace, mercy, and love for brothers and sisters in faith, amin.  

Tests and Tribulations

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

I believe everybody reaches this stage where we are in the dilemma that we could not do anything nor moving to another stage of life. I am still stuck in this stage of life. I tried to purify myself and trying to forget everything around but Allah had also put tests on me. Sometimes it would also shaken our iman (faith) especially when we do not know to whom we should talk to. 

Well, of course Allah is the One for us to tell our problems but in other times we may also need someone like family member or friends to talk or share the problems but for me this is different. I can not share anything with anyone.  I am always a good listener to my sisters or my parents. When my dad faced problems with his boss during he worked somewhere in the federal government territory. He came to Penang and talked with me just before he resigned from his post after having a conflict with his superior which was a minister, it was around 2008. Even when he feel tensed after being a pensioner for long, he came to find me in Penang last year Ramadhan in 2010 and after he returned home. He was affected by stroke and admitted to hospital.  I was so worried but I can't return home. When my grandpa (mum's dad) passed away around early 2008, I was also occupied with exam at the next day. I can't return home and I regret that even until today, lamenting my self for being an ungrateful and evil grandson. Just after my grandpa passed away that my dad resigned from his post because of the pressure.  

I began to hate politicians because of my perception looking at my dad's situation and taking oath to follow sunnah strictly wherever I could detect the validity of the sunnah. Dad was actually a loyal worker although not a religious person and he would do anything for his superiors or friends but it actually harms him too. I thought that I may also inherit this side of his character too. So do to my friends, I always listen to them or at least I would approach them for services in comforting them and also praying for the best solutions for their problems during their upset circumstances. 

We must immediately recognize where the tests given is according to our own ability to face them. The God is the Most Wise amongst all and He certainly knows why we are in such situations. We do not know that since our mind is limited in comprehending the wisdom behind the tests and tribulations. We would only realize that after we passed the tests or our destiny ministering the paths of life.

Just browsing my job applications. I guess I have to renew my resume and add other things due to that the account was inactive for quite long. I still have another two semesters to go and I had took mixed mode courses so I have to attend classes. It would also stops me from finding proper jobs because I am not really good in the study. I may need to focus and be prepared for new lessons especially for complicated subject like the economy. 

Sometimes we may plan wrongly due to that human is not perfect. Especially I did not know where to consult and I didn't know my classmates yet in the beginning. I could not properly find job when taking this master but maybe try to earn money through part-time job. In the first year I had applied for cashier near my hostel but the boss said that I need to work until morning from the midnight everyday while I had classes from Monday to Tuesday.  I can't accept the job but turned it down.

I still hope that Dr. Noreha who taught us the political and decision making paper do not oblige me to attend her classes because I am just repeating. I promise to read her notes again and prepare better this semester but I need tools like money to survive. I hate to say but we need that for mobility, may He not count me a polytheist. I avoid taking any loan and also scholarships because I try to live on the dignity basis and limiting myself from receiving sympathy from others.

For me, I have these principles for life which are honesty, sincerity, integrity, dignity, loyalty and kind-loving to every fellow creatures. Even if I have to lost my life for that, I would not care. I had gained these standards of living from my experience as a confused boy, after I learned about our hadramis ancestry and realizing that we are the people without proper land since we are not accepted in our ancestral land and in fact only half related to locals through maternal lines. Though counted as bumiputeras (sons of the land) because of being here for centuries, we are the natives who know no boundaries. 

Many of our people are the traders and involved in business while in the same time preaching or teaching the faith to others and practising a form of sufi order which was inherited from fathers to the children. Previously, we do not call it as ahlul bayt sufism, but no name tariqah (path). Some people said that it was to avoid from being persecuted by the Abbasiah, but I guess that Islam is only one. Even if people ask me out of this virtual site, I would never admit that we are practicing certain tariqah due to unity of the nations that we always dream of. 

Later on, that our grandfathers being involved with business with royalties and nobility. My dad's father was a British officer in Kodiang, northern of Kedah Sultanate. They have no choice to have contact with local noblemen except through some of the local hadramis for their deals. My grandfather name is a bit Persian anyway and he has three wives.  My grandma is his second wife and the third wife has no child with him. The first wife I believe is from the same racial background.

Never get to see grandpa as he passed away because of lung cancer when my dad was 12 years old. My grandma passed away when my dad was 3 months due to jealousy of villager. At least, that is what I heard from elders. I hate magics and I would never tolerate that blasphemy!!! May Allah bless my grandparents both, I do not really know you people but I love you just like I love my holy prophet Muhammad (saw). May all of you rest in peace under His shade and in love.

Whoa, I can't believe that I could write longer when I talk about family. I'm trying to find few pics of elders like grandparents because I hope to contact few faithful relatives and acquaintance to establish faith connection amongst everyone and spreading the Mercy of the Lord to everyone. I beg the God to please put us on the right track again and do not leave us alone. 

I had also planned and told my sister who resides in Saudi to help me with visa in this near time to join her but we have so many plans in a time. We also need to highlight whatever is our priority right now. I don't really feel like continuing my studies since I was in the first semester of postgraduate but I had already been half of the way now. I had wasted my times, money and also borrowing my parents money although they never ask me to pay that back. I think that I must be responsible to pay it back just like I'm taking study loan because they also need the money as a guarantee for them. I feel guilty for taking their rights and in the same time I don't want any sympathy from government nor anyone. Let others who need that more get the sympathy and assistance. 

However, I personally think that the tests and tribulations given by the God also have their own grace. Where I could perform purification of heart, learning religious sciences and meditating while studying compared to if I am working. I had the experience working in the airport not long before I further my first degree and sometimes I had to skip prayer services and had to qadhaa' the salaat or paying the debt to the Lord in another prayer times. Sometimes I would sneak out from the office or crowds while dealing with job just to pray at the time in musalla because when we forget Him, He would also leave us. I am afraid of that!  

The tests and tribulations from the God is divided two, dear brothers, sisters and friends in faith. The first one is fitnah (the test) where it comes in the form where we would face difficulties in life. This happens due to that the God actually loves us. He wants us to be closer to Him and He would also untie the knots for us without we realize it. As for example brothers and sisters that I love the most, prophet Ayyub (Job) was tested by the God where he lost almost all of his children and his wife too left him because he was affected by strange dermatological disease. 

The second one is istidraaj. This is the test in the form of luxury and fake happiness in life but the test could also shake our iman just the same like fitnah but only in opposite form. We would forget the God when we are in easy time. When we are in difficulties only we would remember Him. That is not fair because His grace to His slaves is infinite. The example for this is the tribes of Tsamud and the 'Aad. The God had destroyed them after they refused to obey Him through His prophets whom are the holy prophets Saaleh (Selah) and Hud because they had lived in luxury and they felt that they have nothing to fear of.

May I remember this always and take heed of this. May it also benefits my brethren in faith due to that I love them and they are my soul. Allah please be in connection with prophet Muhammad (saw) and his family and his companions. Please also bless my brethren in faith and strengthen our iman (faith) to You. Do not leave us alone but be our Holy Company dear Lord.