Importance of Da'awa : Part I

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

Diary and Da’awa

At last I finished everything and manage to dump some notes here so everyone could also get the benefit out of it. I wrote this diary last week around 14^th of July 2012 after I revised few materials. In this side, I basically don’t write for magazines for money or for any organization but writing and translating stuffs only for Him. 

Translating the tafseer and collecting notes in fact is not an easy job though I think everyone could do this but the way how writers write their articles or materials could be tough as well as the style of their language could not easily being conveyed in English as for example those which are shrouded with poems, getting the points from materials written in Classical Malay and with Malay pantuns segala mak nenek nya.

Translating and interpreting is a job of Faith. With Faith I am not sleeping at night and have to bear sufferings with sacred heart for these to reach audience from all over the globe because I am pretty sure this treasure is not reaching others as I had checked it all over the searching engines. Now everyone could enjoy these treasures from the East in English and they could translate this into Arabic, Persian, Russian, Hebrew, Spanish, German, French, Dutch, Japanese, Finnish whatever lingo it is that they use.

The tafsīr materials that I am using right now is from the tafseer written by an Indonesian national and a Sumateranese religious professor known as Dr. Abdul Malik Amrullah of Muhammadiyah movement and it is entirely in Malay language. He received the title of professorship ironically from the first established center of our ancestral tariqa which was from the al-Azhar University of Egypt. I am also upgrading my rudimentary Chinese for this and trying to polish up Arabic as my ancestral tongue. Wishing it inspires other Chinese speaking Muslims in our country and around to take opportunity from these treasures for their own benefit in the world and the hereafter. 

Mum went home to our village to call people for my third sister’s walimatul ‘urs or her wedding reception. So, basically I am the only one who finished my classes and stays home most of the time. I just helped dad with his diapers, showering him, helping him to perform salat, reciting prayers for him and giving him some milk and his medication since he cannot do anything on his own and it is my charge as a son. I cleaned the kitchen and cleaned the compound of the house too because these places seem quite out of the looking. Also did some hand-washing for clothes because I need them for prayer services and I can’t pour hot water into the washing machine. If I do not do these, nobody would do them for us. I do not care if people calling me things because I did all of these lame-slave things. I believe that Muslims must be clean in every place, clean in spiritual, mind, heart and physical. And I feel weird because why a man cannot do house chores apart of outdoor ones together with woman? Wasn’t our prophet Muhammad s.a.w also helped his wife with kitchens? Wasn’t he also mends his clothes by himself? So, he is not a man because of that?! Where is the notion about cleanliness and the obligation for us to be clean spiritually or physically? Where is gender equality as what I always heard here and there? 

My family actually is being tested by the Lord again and again. Since last two months, my dad had fallen down due to a severe stroke and it was classified at the hospital as the low risk fall. He had the symptoms since before my maternal grandpa passed away where his thinking becoming slower and slower and later he was attacked by few strokes and the recent one, he is paralyzed half part of his body. He could not speak any word and only using hand signals. I could say that my dad is quite a stubborn person. He seldom listens to this kid advising him, asking him to follow to fast and he’s not so religious because of his dad passed away early. Basically he was religiously illiterate. Part of it because he is a father and I understood that a father and a man have his ego too and I already tried to exercise my responsibility as an inferior son through politeness and discretion but guidance is His right. I faced this with my elder or younger sisters and also with my mother. Sometimes I would have to find a religious teachers and helping me in term of advising them but they only listen to these respected people for a moment. Later they’ll forget about it.

Besides of the pressures and depression that I had to face in the hostel, this news about my dad really affected me and it makes me even more “weird” in the eyes of people around me at that time. I lived there alone without any roommate or colleague so I can’t discuss anything. I only have Allah to talk with and I don’t know how pathetic I looked like in front of musalla’s congregation besides I cannot really hold my tears from flowing when praying because it feels like a mountain suppressing my head. I tried to meditate to substitute negativity around with positivity and practicing supplications that I learned from honorable teachers.

When I talked to my sisters especially one who always listens to religious lectures, she said that I should be patient and bear it. It is easy to say patience but to bear it is not as easy to say it out. I am sure this also happens to everyone. Especially, people begin to show the "true" traits of human-being. That is normal I guess. If normal human-being facing the problems here and there at a time, they maybe would die a tormenting death. My friend, Amir talked about tormenting death or mati beragan as we call it in Malay when we talked about this, haha. I am just kidding.

We have to be positive in all the time. I still have the Faith in Allah as my sole Savior and the only true Friend though many times I had this evil thought to commit suicide, just die and being something forgotten. Just like mother Maryam cried her self in the Surah Maryam 19:23. I seek forgiveness for my weaknesses dear Lord!

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace and love amin!

Science of the Quran : Introduction

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

Definition of the Quran

What is the Quran? Basically everyone know that it is our holy scripture. Now we introduce what is Quran according to our own standard. We don't need Oxford or Orientalism standard for this! You want to learn about Islam and Quran? Learn from the "practicing and faithful Muslims". Learn with the intention that you really want to know what is mentioned in the verses without any perception. Not from those from wherever it is claiming that they are ex-Muslim turning to Atheism or other faith because of this or because of that.  How can we get the benefit when our cup is fully filled with the tea? Try take a cup and fill it with the tea or water. See what happens when you pour the tea into the cup without stopping it. So, what is the use for you to get to know something if you already have the knowledge about it?  

Just cut those craps and stop bullshitting. That is my advice to those who commit this childish act. I learned Buddhism last time. I learned it from the "real acharyas" in temples, listening from Buddhist medias like Thai national radio making notes out of it, memorize the teachings, practicing them with myself and only speaking the truth. I never claim myself as an ex-Buddhist this or ex-Buddhist that to defame it or to make other Buddhists turning to my faith. That is the act of chickens who have no balls. It's not noble and you're lowering others' intelligence. 

Quran refers to the Word of the God. It is the miracle which was consecutively descended upon Muhammad s.a.w through the medium of archangel Gabriel a.s. It is now written in Arabic in copies being read by Muslims around the world as an act of worship and to seek divine inspiration from the God through His Word.

Definition of the Sciences of the Quran

It is the field of knowledge which argues the aspects related to the Quran. Among them are the beginning of how it has been revealed, the way it was revealed, the places where it was revealed, when it was revealed, the collection of the verses, its documentation and its stages, its miracles, nasakh and mansukh, muhkam and mutashabeeh, parables, arrangements of the divine letters, recitation branches of science such as tarannum or tajweed and etc.

Field of Quranic Science's Arguments

I found that it is very interesting dear beloved brothers and sisters. It covers questions such as follows:

1. Definition of Quranic science and its source.

2. Discussions on how it was revealed with its characteristics such as qaadim and azaliy.

3. Discussing the issues and causes which brings the revelation of the verses into its revelation.

4. Discussion about the Makki and Medini verses.

5. Arguments about the questions regarding mutashabeeh and muhkam verses.

6. Discussions about the mutashabeeh and muhkam verses.

7. Discussions about the earlier and ultimate verses which were revealed.

8. Arguments about the collection of Quranic verses and its history from the Muhammad s.a.w companions' era to the modern era.

9. Discussion about the questions regarding the exegesis of the verses, explanation of the verses and its translation. There are also principles in translating the verses of the Quran. 

10. Questions of revelation and the way it has been revealed from Allah to Muhammad s.a.w.

11. Discussing few objectives related to the revelation of Quran and its miracles. There are many more.

In the matter pertaining point no. 9... I also learned about Bible translation principles and Western ideas regarding translation when I was an undergraduate student yet I feel that my field of studies is useless since I could not use it as a tool to serve the nations and I wasted the time which I should have used it to memorize kitabs and sunans. Now I almost finished everything. I am sacrificing my limited time, my pride, my limited financial and energy wishing Allah to be my witness and helping me in the hereafter. I am also hoping that brothers and sisters could help me. Be mo'allims (teachers) for your people, teach them in your languages so they may understand everything well and practice them. Get the help of teachers in your areas and spread His light to everyone. Anything that you read here are just supplements not the real stuffs. Please get help from teachers and discuss them with other brothers and sisters. I really mean this.

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace and love, amin! 

This is just a test, patience... Ya Allah!

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

May peace and mercy descend upon brothers and sisters. I am so glad we are near Ramadan but in the same time I am also sad, I am stuck at my first chapter of thesis. I am not sad because of the thesis but the thesis becomes the asbab (reasons) for me to be far from the God :'( 

It makes me believe even more that this epoch is the evil epoch with evil people, evil works, evil thoughts, evil words, and everything evil in ones selves. May He strengthen our faith and helping us to gain our strength to perform obedience to Him, passing through this evil period.

I had just returned home from a mosque in our qaryah (parish). After Isya' I tried to avoid people as always because I don't like to be seen by anyone. So, I just quickly ran down to get my slippers, actually not my slippers because I borrowed it from my sister. I know that I am so dha'if, sengkek, and penniless. What else I can jot down here to describe the condition? Then suddenly dad shouted at me, actually he calls me to meet someone which is his acquaintance. I didn't really feel comfortable with that man, well he's quite "soft" and is a clerk in a hospital.  It's not a problem as long as he does not touch me, especially in holy boundary. I am not a person who is easily to be touched by anyone and quite sensitive with the manner in the masjid or places of worship. I don't care what people want to say or think about that.

I would not stay long at that place but will quickly leave if I feel uncomfortable with someone or anything being discussed by someone. Then, he asked me what am I doing. I would prefer to tell him that I am a jobless person. My dad and mum is feeding me because I am a useless handicapped guy in front of him. But it stuck in my throat. I just said the truth that I am pursuing master degree. Then he asked me whether I had experience working? I just answered him simple, no... I just wonder, why people love to ask whether we are working or not in their conversation as it is like a great achievement in our life???????????????!!!  Are they gonna give us job after they ask us those silly questions? No, for sure not all of the people would be so merciful to others since they are also desperate. 

I'm sorry for being quite a bad ass today and I hope that I hurt nobody. This is just what I personally feel and it is the reason why I hate to talk much in the public. Well, at least I don't have to see a councilor by jotting everything down because those fellows can't really solve anything but just making a life from that. Unless if the councilor is like the councilor who is already dead like Malcolm Crowe in the Sixth Sense.

When he heard that, he just said: "kalau macam tu susah lah. You dah ade master nanti, tapi takde pengalaman keje plak. Nanti orang tengok dorang lebih penting pengalaman keje." I actually am aware about that. I have an experience for about a year working in immigration department as a Chinese translator and interpreter although I never have any Chinese certificate. I understand two Chinese dialects but speak only one of it because I am not fluent in the other one and I write in Chinese for both dialects beside using Jawi Malay in most of my hand written document at least for now. 

I had anonymously helped hundreds of Muslim Chinese, Hui or Uyghur ethnic hajjs and hajjas who were trapped and stucked in the Kuala Lumpur International Airport in that short period time working experience. Even I also helped non-Muslim Chinese nationals in the airport according to my job responsibility and at the day I had got my salary where those salary goes to these people because I don't want them to waste their money buying expansive food stuffs or wasting their food supplies when they are in pilgrimage in airport. I just drink water because I am sacrificing myself for others to perform worship, may Allah never drag me to hell for jotting this down. I always went home late at night when I worked although I began my work at seven in the morning and goes to the airport at five before fajr prayer calling. Mum had also complained when I came back late and nobody would ever see my face at home while I work and now people are talking about this. Is it me who is an ingrate and do not appreciate what Allah 'Azza wa Jalla had given us? Other than that, I helped Indonesian, Indian, Vietnamese, Nepalese, Bangladeshi and other nationals who were abused like animals for their energy to be exploited in labor industry stucked in the freezing cold airport, calling here and there to their embassy while those officers in the office refused to be involved because they have many other important things to do. 

I don't think that I have to tell everything to people because the holy God is watching me down here and sometimes I can't even recall what I had done in the past unless if I sit down and think deeply on what happens in the past to get back my lost memory because I will try to erase all of the pain in the past. 

I feel quite sad and down when I encountered this kind of question. I realize that I am already 25 years old, but what is wrong with my age and working experience? I have other ex-colleague who were my classmates having no job until now. I understand how their feeling and I believe they might also feel insulted when people talk about that because they would feel down. 

One of my ex-classmate in the bachelor degree class, Mat Noq of Kulim was expelled from the study. I am so sad when I heard the news because we had tried to help him as a Muslim brother. Nobody really cares about him because he was pathetic, a fatso, no pleasant looking, dark, village folk, he eats rice with curry until it stains his manga comic and could be a servant to other hostel mates because he was traumatized with his school boy's life. I frankly hate to see this inequality! 

Another one of my ex-classmate is Syakeer of Kuala Berang. He was also expelled because he worked while studying and he failed almost all of the papers and have no choice but to be expelled by the dean and the university. He is currently working as a cleaner in Langkawi. I had Mat Med as my closest classmate and hostel mate. He has no job even until now. I also persuaded him to find a proper job for himself because I know how it feels when people talk like this to us, when parents begin to rant and naggin' to us. But in the same time I understand him for the failure to get immediate job. It is the mobility, and many other factors that stopped him from steppin' out of his boundary. I feel so sad for my friends. Not only when I listened people talking like they know more about us when they talk with us. 

Our bachelor certificate is a loose certificate. Everyone can be a translator or interpreter and we only have Malay and English as our major. Malaysians are good in English and we have no other skills like machinery, mechanical, engineering, medical, pharmaceutical or anything related to technical fields. We can take those courses again maybe through GiatMara and we would waste our time and money just for certification and to be recognized in working world. I myself have to upgrade my certificate to other field because the field of our bachelor degree is so loose and now I have to face all of this while my thesis is still in the mess. We could go to editorial, journalism, translation institute, teaching, and others and we would have to compete with people who are taking those fields in their certificate like mass-com, chemistry, physics, english, malay, and others. It's not like we are choosing the job too. I had once worked as a waiter, a multi-tasked waiter who also makes drink, washing dishes, cleaning the compounds of the restaurant, and making sandwiches at three in the morning for the restaurant owned by a Chinese Muslim. I had been a stringer not for so long in Berita Harian and helping literature desk and being condemned by novel readers through email because wrong information as I am not a novel fan but I have to write it because of the task and responsibility. When I talked to Mat Med in the messenger about why are we studying for our bachelor degree? We still can't get proper job like those who drives lorry in the highway. He also said, I don't know what to tell people when people ask him about our certificate. We are even worse than those who were looked down by people around during the look east policy and heavy industry policy was at their peak, the religious study students in madrasas.  

As what I had talked before, dear teachers in schools, please never lie to your pupils... Being in the university does not mean that we are achieving ultimate success. Success is not in the certificate. It is more than that, when we see Him in the hereafter. Why can't we feel others' pain and sensitive to others' feelings? This is among the things that creating the society in the condition today. A society in the "hell." I had always listened to people say this notion when I mingled with buddhists listening to religious lectures, "rau pein kon tee sang narok nai tua ieng." We are those who created hell in ourselves. It means everything in the society is related to each other. If one had created foul things, the other will receive the impact of the act of the other. The same thing happens in either place. This is the law of karmma in buddhist concept. I am talking about my past knowledge regarding how I view the society and environment :'(

We are just ordinary human-being. Why it is so hard for people around to understand each other while we are the same human? Is it because our thinking is different or our living experience is different? Some might face little hardships in life? Some with lots of hardship? Different level of hardships? Facing hardships in different conditions?

I can be anything He wants me to be. Why do I have to worry about future when it is pre-destined for everyone? Maybe next year I would be dead who knows if it is written in Luh Mahfuz? I have a very high dignity, it is not proud or pride. I would feel insulted when people talk something which I had already think of for thousands or trillions of times because I am aware about that. If it is about things related to Him I would never feel intimidated. And worldly matters or anything related to it in His House is so insulting! I would prefer to talk about those things outside of the holy boundary! 

I had just said my repentance before Him and there it comes, my patience being tested by these fellow humans, ya Allahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! At the same time ustad Wan which is my old friend who joined the same Arabic class in the other mosque approached me and dad. Dad again asked him, "can't you recommend him to be a muadzin in this mosque?" Haiyoooyooooo........ Muka perambo sudah tebal lahhhh nak simpan mano lagi weh!!!!! Since I finished my first degree I had faced this kind of situation. If not dad who asked about this to others, then mum would ask people who came by at our house to recommend me for a job like I am incapable of doing things on my own but in the same time they would condemn me for the incapability that they had created. That also makes me rushing to find job in a security company as a supervisor few months before I get the offer to further master in the same university. I was so angry but I do not blame dad for raising up the issue. I know that he is affected by stroke and that makes his thinking quite unclear. But I guess he had been like that since he was healthy. 

I still remember he became so sincere with his friends and told everything including the embarrassing ones to them. I don't know what parents think of their children even if they are proud of their children. Telling everything about their children to others is not a good thing. Children have soul. I wonder, what parents or those who are now parents thinking of their children? Even if their children are still toddlers in their cradle? Some kind of dolls? Children are pets? We can cuddle them when we need them, and when we don't need them we may do anything we like to them? These children have no feeling? They possess no dignity? They have nothing to be ashamed of because they are children????????????? 

And if children are the children, parents could physically, internally or mentally abuse or hurting their children because they are parents? Making the children feel embarrassed of themselves in front of other with words in front of unknown people is righteous according to Quran and Sunnah? Children have no place in parents consideration because the power of forgiveness is in parents hand if children did something that hurts parents feeling while actually environment around them including the environment created by parents is the reason for the attitude of children? Children have no feeling? Aren't children too faithful brethren of parents? 

This is what I always mentioned as my disappointment in our Muslim community. As a revert from old ideology when I was in confusion, I feel so upset. When I try to talk to others to be aware about environment around, people's around feeling and thinking, I was misunderstood as a rebel and an ingrate. I always try to talk with manner proposed by Quran and Sunnah to others and I still avoid from parents to be shameful although they are the ones who makes me feel embarrassed of my self. 

What is so wrongggggg with us peopleee????????????!!!!!!! Now when I am feeling insulted, am I the one who is sinful to dad? I don't blame him nor anyone. I always pray for him to be forgiven by the Lord, how could I be a cruel son? I understand him and his situation, but I just had a quarrel with mum regarding dad's situation that she have to force dad to go to mosques while he can follow me to Tablighi Sulau closer to our house and nobody there knows him or me. I talked to her about the example of the situation that always happen in our life, my life, every child's life and it affects everything around. Can anyone around takes me or others as a lowly brother for himself or herself? Physically, I am a child to her, but in the soul I am her brother in faith. This is also a reason I don't like to perform obedience in a group especially with family but I encourage everyone into obedience. Because we know what will happen. Just perform everything step by step and we don't have to reform in a blink of eyes. I prefer to perform obedience without being known or seen. Not all of the people understand us. It is so tormenting, ya Allllaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I'm feeling my heart is burning, pierced with swords, and tied with thorns. My face burns down and I can't look at people face anymore after this. Now I understand how prophet Isa a.s feels when he has to face "the believer" at his time who were divided to the Pharisee and Sadducee. After noble prophet Muhammad s.a.w returns to Him, I feel that it becomes more like Isa a.s era as what had been told in the writings of the apostles of prophet Isa a.s.  

Please forgive my sins ya Allah forgive sins of my parents, my grandparents, my ancestors, my brothers and sisters in faith. I know I am your filthy sinful creature, that's why I receive all of these. But be merciful to me, I am weak, incapable of anything because I am only a low creature :'(         

Allahumma salli 'alaa Muhammad, wa 'alaa aali Muhammad. Ka-maa sallaita 'alaa Ibraahim wa 'alaa aali Ibraahim. Allahumma baarik 'alaa Muhammad wa 'ala aali Muhammad, ka-maa baarak-ta 'alaa Ibrahim wa 'alaa aali Ibraahim. Fi-l 'aalameena inna-ka hameedum-majeed. 10000 x 

Dear Lord please be in contact with our prophet Muhammad s.a.w and his family. As you had been in contact with our father Abraham and his family. Our Lord, please bless our prophet Muhammad s.a.w and his family. As you had blessed our father Abraham and his family. In the universe, You are the only One who is worth the praises and glory. 10000 x