Friday, 11 July 2014

Memories of My Dad

Assalamu'alaykum wa rahmatullah!

I'm not sure for how long I had left this side, lol.... I was quite busy with life here. I have a paralyzed stroke father and I'm not going to work because I wanted my mother to have the chance to be happy with her activities which also includes her religious and spiritual needs. We would understand the significance of sacrifice if we look deep into the philosophy of the pilgrimage. 

On my experience... Let me tell everyone how embarrassed I am to tell the truth to people who ask me where am I working while I am still jobless. I resigned from a United Nations agency on the spot after my mother quarreled with my younger sister on the matter of looking after my father and everyone has to deal with their life i.e their job. It was 11 months ago. Technically, I have to forget my dream and my carrier planning just to let everyone in my household happy and I am a male, xoxo

Getting a job is not easy but losing one is as easy as a blink of eyes. Being silent sure does giving us the sense of serenity and peaceful (Ali r.a). I am not staying silent for nothing but my senses are working. I live with women my whole life but I am not easily influenced because I love to stay alone. I did not even mix with my schoolmates or classmates. They even called me names for being a weird silent guy but I speak only when I think that it is necessary. What makes me feel sad is that my sisters do not understand me more than I try hard to understand them. It is not easy to be the only son among sisters. You would have no friend to discuss your feeling but you will listen to their feelings whether negative or positive. In the end, it makes you a forever alone introvert. I do not make any friend with people anymore especially I cannot trust others unless if I had screened them for a very long period.

Well, that is not important at all. I found three boxes of my dad's writings including his written documents. He loves to write and expressing his thought through writing. I read all of his published books enthusiastically but I never tell anyone about that. I love to pray for everyone who helped me since I was a little child. It includes my parents who had raised me and I have a shelter because of their hard work. I am not sure on what should I do with them. Some of them are not published and there is also an unfinished book. It looks like a novel written in Malay. I had just made a new blog site for him. The previous one was made by my second sister but she had lost the password. I thought that I just wanted to dispose his stuffs while tidying up the backyard since I don't want to be a hoarder but I always have to stop when I look at his face... I would keep his poems or literature works in this site whenever I am free and recycle the paper.

By the way, the painting up there is my own stuff. I used "Paint" application to make that picture. I just try to use those application which I have yet trying to use. It is difficult but fun, haha...

Thank you for viewers support and prayers. Have a blessed Ramadan everyone, wishing it would help us to strengthen our inner self and enrich it with experience before seeing Him in the hereafter, insha-Allah.

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace and love, amin!

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