What Am I Doing in Gap Period???

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

My new hair I shaved it all on 29th of July 2012

I don't know actually what I wanted to write. I still have the balance of the thesis to be finished before December 2012. So, kinda stopping by and reading again what I wrote. Found them very weird maybe I wrote them in several moods, hehe. Ow yeah, just letting brothers and sisters who read this about the job interview on 15th of August 2012. I guess the job is not meant for me as they never call me even after the 'Eid holiday to inform me whether I am eligible or else. So, it is ok maybe Allah has other plan for me. I'm not so much hoping for the job and I sent other applications to other companies and organizations as well. 

Sometimes when we see around of course it would make us thinking that we have no life like other people as they are settled down, have money, possessions, married and could relax with friends during holiday doing activities like sport or vacation together with friends. It would be lying to say that if we looked and something and we would not be thinking because we have brain and soul. Lying is a portal to sins, hehe. Think it in other way around. Maybe it would also be stressful to work as not all people facing the same situation. I just think to pay my study loan which I think is not good thing to be postpones. I hate debts and I regret that I took it when doing undergraduate papers. After few years pondering and contemplating; I guess our education system nowadays, not only in our country but in whole world is to get human labors rather than for the development of civilization based on humanity values but we would ask what kind of labors that we need? 

There are many rough jobs in services like waiter, receptionist, call center customer service, supervisors, management trainee and others. There are also rough jobs like construction sectors and others. There would be questions asked by people who are already settled down, why university graduates (they who ask are also graduates) refuse to work in service fields and others and trying to grab their positions in government or private sectors? Let me answer, because people who ask the question also never do that kind of job. If they did the job, did they do it permanently? Certainly no because doing the job like that is tiresome, consists of shifts and they took away our resting time which could be used to develop spiritual knowledge like studying scriptures. So, we ask others, why not we think in the shoes of others? Just try to put our ruh (soul) inside the body of the person that we asked. I personally hate when people that I encountered asking me, what are you doing right now? Where are you working? It is a sensitive question to other people who are jobless, try to talk about other things for example like what food you love to eat? This is more polite for me. Other than that, why would we tell kids to study and get through the university if we can get labors without wasting government expenditure? It is just a waste time to study in the university while we could earn money and buy low-cost house if we just go right away to work after O-Level or even LCE. Basic school education is more than enough.        

Well, in this gap period which is the period where I am stuck before transferring to other phase of life I would read all sorts of thing especially things related to philosophies because those books are in my father's collection and I don't have to buy them. Many people who don't really engaged in philosophies might think that I have some short circuits in my head when I talk but I am actually talking philosophies and I am talking about daily human life. Sometimes I just use rough words used in daily life without using high academic words because most of all many people in the world talk more than observe or reading. Philosophies was banned during the period of struggle between imam al-Ghazali and the Shi'a Muslims or Mu'tazila groups related to the Creed about God. I also discussed with mom to dispose some books and just leaving behind religious studies books. I would try to memorize some important religious books for example prayers or hadiths that I could memorize and jot them down again beside practicing them before disposing those books too as to preserve the contents of the books. 

I walked at night around my family's house neighborhood. Maybe I would take some stroll at 12 a.m alone and reciting Quranic verses while walking for two or three hours greeting the unseen brothers and sisters around, hehe. I found that I don't have any surviving friends in my neighborhood anymore. Last time I was in lower six class, I had some friends but all of them had already furthering studies in various colleges and universities before we could even end our form six classes, hehe. Many had moved out from the area too and I don't make any new friend anymore here after we also moved out from old quarter. 

Yesterday's evening I just bought some exercise books to jot down Farsi lessons and starting some translation of kitabs into Chinese for future usage. It's just to increase my knowledge about Islam in Chinese language so next time when Chinese friends asking for information, I would easily convey the message in pure, plain and non-mixed Chinese. I found that Farsi is an interesting language and one of my acquaintance studying in Iran also learned the language and Islamic philosophies there. Rarely talk to him but sometimes I would chat with him and enjoy listening his experience and researches.

I also read some blogs written in Malay about random people life and their language style is quite nice, loll. Dah macam baca novel la pulak. I envy these people as they could write in proper Malay. I just know how to write in dialectical Malay which sometimes people don't understand and sometimes the grammar is upside down, hahaha.  

Sleepy, I need to rest my eyes...  Please help me praying for my father's health and may I finish my thesis before December, insha Allah.

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace and love, amin!