Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Finish Final Exam

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

I'm so glad that I had finished the paper all the praise only belongs to Allah. I almost forgotten this blog and I made some translation of Qad Kafaani in Chinese. Wish that it is accurate since I can't really polish again my rusty written and spoken Chinese due to that I was occupied with what not. I can't even write things properly in Chinese now since I just read things in the internet, hahaha. So sorry lar if some readers are actually following this site if I don't really notice people around, hehehehe. Penang really turning me to be a "Chinese" again though people here aren't as open as in Singapore or in Kuala Lumpur.

Just answer the paper briefly and it was about European Economic Integration. I didn't really read those notes because I was out of mood. Many things happened and I cried like hell in the musalla last month when brother Idris returned to China and the possibility to see him again is quite far since he is from western and rural region of China. Can not tahan lar. I already tried hard from sobbing in front of people. Already know he would be leaving and didn't want to see him but still accidentally seeing him. Just feeling sad because I felt that I didn't treat him well. He's actually a good and kind-hearted boy. I was bounded to some rules when I was in musalla and holy places that made me looking like a 'freak' who do not speak to people even looking at people's face. In the first semesters I was here too I faced many problems and I have some conflicts within myself regarding my decision to continue studies had jeopardized my da'awa mission to myself. I tried to be close again with him, but I think that it's already too late.    

I visited Mr. Shao Baohui yesterday in his room. One of my acquaintance and a Phd student. Just stumbled at him while taking some water at the machine. Just greeting him and telling him, I am going home this Wednesday. Then I quickly ask him for his contact. He would be here until next semester so I just get his university contact in Hebei province and his Malaysian number. Whatever it is I don't care. He is currently trying to do a Phd thesis about Malaysian Chinese which I find quite interesting. I offered him some help since I know few friends who work in Chinese publication in Kuala Lumpur. We talked about many things too especially related to Chinese community in Malaysia. But I learned my lesson from what I had experienced with brother Idris. Never speak in Chinese when you first meet a Chinese national or using their national language while making friend with them in the beginning. I just talked with him in English. Lest they will confuse about me especially if the guy never mingle with local Malaysian Muslims who speak in Chinese.

Then this morning I text him but it was in Mandarin Chinese saying goodbye, lollll... Maybe he would feel weird why I talk about Malaysian Chinese while my ethnicity is not clear as other ethnics like Malays, Indians or Chinese. I am just telling him what I am. Of course I would talk about something related to me and interested in it. If it is not related to me then why should I talk about it... hahaha. Tonight he texts me saying that he wanted to have a chat with me and trying to talk in Chinese with me but I refused to reply in Chinese, hahaha. He asked me why you are shy to speak in Chinese? I said it's not that I'm shy. I don't even care if people wanted to call me a Chinese person. But I don't like being called as a Chinese citizen since my ancestors had been here for long and we are of Arab descent. I am a Malaysian citizen. A citizen of a state in Malaysian Federation!!! We talked also about Hui ethnicity and he said these people are almost the same like Malays. They're not so open-minded. Well, I am aware about this fact. Even I am not so strict too and I still behave like a "normal" Chinese and visiting temples while in Penang leaving behind the rituals in temples. Just to capture some pictures for non-Chinese to see what happened inside and not only speculating outside or listening from this and from that.       

Mr. Shao came to my room and he seems quite excited since he could speak in his language now... hahahaha. But I still refuse to speak in Chinese. It reminds me to brother Idris though he is not a Han Chinese like Mr. Shao. Urm, maybe next time I should also not differentiate myself to non-Muslim Chinese people and not only classifying myself as a Chinese speaking person. Already tired lar when people ask us, and we have to explain things that they would not understand in a long-winding like novel way... In the end, before Mr. Shao went back to his room he gave me two Pan Chang tassels with eight rows and one with Jiengju mask like in the picture. Jiengju basically refers to Beijing Opera, hehe. The tassels symbolize good luck for friends and given when we're going to depart from each other : )

I don't like Facepuke but prefer to communicate my mind with blogging like this but I am using Facepuke now to get the news about those kids who used to be apart of our hostels congregation. Such a nice memory but it is also painful... I wish this is the last time I am stuck here in the university and enough pain that I had to bear in this level of life. Now we move to the next level perhaps??? Insha Allah...

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace and love, amin!!!   

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