Friday, 20 April 2012

Visions on Jobs

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

I am at home right now but I will have to return to USM tomorrow. I feel like am gonna get fever cause I can't even stand to stay there for the balance two months anymore nor going to classes. Urgh, Lord make me strong to face this tedious stuffs. I am almost certain that I would not be graduated in this September because of this thesis and snobbish overseas graduated lecturers. Local students are always victims to government policy and discrimination of institutions. Maybe I would be graduated in the next year.

So, I have decided that am not gonna join any graduation ceremony. It is enough when I was graduated in September 2009. It was also the year where those already third year undergrad kiddos and those who were graduated last year in my current hostel being registered as first year students, hehehe. The year where world was hit by global economic problem. Situation after the year 2012 perhaps would be better so we were actually unfortunate to be graduates in 2009. Right now European Union is also in the same situation where many people are jobless in Spain, Greece and Italy. I read it in Nanyang Siangpau (Chinese newspaper) while waiting for my sister's car to be repaired in Proton service center in Shah Alam.

I don't care what my mother would say about this. I am sick with the place and I hate my supervisor. She is so busy until she could not supervise me. I send her some messages just to get her feedback but she is not replying. Last week she just replied that she could not check a pile of complete thesis and I am asking her too much. She thinks that I was having fun there while having to work like a crazy for a silly mini-thesis? I have to pretend like normal though I guess people could notice that I wasn't. I didn't even live like a human though I tried to entertain my heart by sometimes traveling around beside facing the problem of self-confidence and low-self esteem. 

About Job When I was Seventeen

This one is my memory talking to a group of school-mates. While waiting for the time to go home and for the bus to come we just chatting among each other about our future. Actually I don't even know their names or even mingled with them before but just to show I know how to socialize with people. It's just the matter of time, situation and space that I sometimes have to be restricted. We talked about after our M'sian O-Level we perhaps would be factories workers. Maybe we would start slowly and later become supervisors. We would be very proud to serve our country and helping it to develop, hahahaha. It's actually representing our worry that we would not pass the certificate because we are among out-casts in the school who were lazy-asses and we never join any activities in school. After O-Level two of the students in our class were chosen to join the crappy program of National Service. One of them was me and another one was my classmate, I just remember that I used to call him as Joe. I was sent to Kuala Terengganu which was a bit hulu and later shifted to Dungun. That is another story. I mingled with all sorts of people from smart students to thugs or dark society kids.

About Job When I was Twenty

I talked about this again with Amir who was my undergrad colleague. We were thinking of becoming porn-stars or gigolo. Well, for me it's just a nonsense chat cause we always talk like that among each other. The dialogue which kids used must also came from movies' influence. Amir watched too much American movies, he also loves American Pies and I watched them too, hahaha.

When you mingled with these people you would also be involved but you have to be very strong in the heart to despise all of those things in order to protect others. Nobody would be helping Amir to come closer to "masjid" if people like us do not help to spread His Mercy and just keeping it among ourselves right?  Nobody in our hostel dare to come closer to him. He came to find me in the beginning and he found that I could mingle with him because I did not judge him and accepting him as he is. But deep inside I always pray for my colleague and friends. I pray for people around and I receive great psychological torments. It feels like our heart being burned, pierced, wounded and bleeding.  

Being an outcast, I had to act as an inter-mediator for these people with the "holy" congregation. I cried for them because they were rejected by "holy" people. Is da'awa only for people who already have faith? Only for those who already had been in the masjid? What is the purpose of sahabah and companions being sent to lands and heathen lands? Were those heathens people who already know the revelation and prophethood of Muhammad s.a.w? Those who are in sins should be avoided because we would be affected by them without being saved??? Just because we see people from outside or from their appearance so we judge them as this and that? I had posted about the History of Islam being Spread in Kedah Sultanate in Northern Malayan Peninsula and it shows that missionaries have to talk with people regardless of their status, whether poor or rich, clean or dirty. How our people reached the land and teaching the revelation to native and locals until it becomes a root for them. I could also post about how Islam reached every islands in Indonesian archipelago and other areas but I think many had done this whether in Malay or in English. It is mobile with the movement of people. If the Muslim missionaries from Arabia did not sail to eastern lands would people in South East Asia or Malay countries or Indonesian Islands know Islam or now chanting the testimony of faith in five obligatory daily salat services?

What I Found in Adverts in Masjids

I also didn't know before that we could also practicing again the profession of our people where our people used to be the servants for the Lord of the House. Our people used to serve the pilgrims with foods, drinks, hosting guests and helping them to perform hajj and 'umrah. Maybe it's not a glamorous job like corporate businessman, doctor, engineer, lawyers, and etc but we could receive His blessings and living simple life as travelers in the universe before reaching Him : ) I would like to try this job if I found no suitable job. It's also because I love Him. I wanted to serve Him and I could begin translating kitabs for Eastern Asian audiences as what I had already mentioned in promises to Him. Let people see me like a worm in the earth. I don't care anymore because my Lord is deciding where is my position with Him : )     

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace and love amin!

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