I just returned home and coming back to the institution. Now, I think that it is silly because I just went back to settle down my printer matter since my younger sister had offered me the printer she used. She had already finished with her classes so I can use the printer. I refused to take third sister car too because I am not comfortable using others' belongings. I know third sister would not mind but it is good for me to learn to live in difficulties. It teaches me humility and makes me understand or sensitive to people conditions, difficulties and pains experienced by others. Gautama Buddha left his luxurious palace life to understand what is the life and what is the samsar (torture). Prince Vardhaman also left his palace life and being a Jina.
To be frank, I don't know how to use technological stuffs and I hate technology, hahaha. I prefer to live like a primitive man. Maybe people could take a picture of a Taoist priest or a Yogi and try to decipher how I look like but I don't have keshav (matted hair) here. I just wear normal cloth like others and maybe I take cloth that people do not want anymore because I am not used to expensive clothes. I don't like to take my own photo too nor I like people to take my photos.
At least I could relax my mind at home. The musalla at our neighborhood is now functioning. As to say I am so happy because I don't have to walk to musalla in others' neighborhood. But I heard that the musalla was broken by thieves and few valuable things are missing from the musalla so they have to lock the door of the prayer hall. Few Tabligh Jamaat members sometimes spending their nights there and I think it is also good as they could also help the neighborhood to watch what happen during the night. If they need anything of course I would be glad to help them but I would never join them anymore. Just feeling that I am not suitable to be the member of the movement but I encourage those who are interested to join the movement : )
Still have another five days to send my supervisor the thesis. They said that the due date for the thesis is on the 23rd April 2012. I actually wanted to send it earlier because I am afraid that I might have to do some amendments but the first part of my thesis has to be repaired so I think it would be a start from the scratch.
These two weeks I would have to read journals provided by lecturer and thanks to the God, I have the printer with me so I could print them out without having to spend my time looking at the monitor. It is so torturing looking at the monitor. I also do not have to get down to print stuffs and saving time. I wish that the printer do not give me any problem until I finish this thesis and final exam.
Little sister is still in the process of getting some experience of getting a job. She went to interviews. I had also received a news from my friend, Azren that he's going to be at an interview for a post in a private college. Poor he is as his own brother does not encourage him but questioning why he does not using his master degree while applying instead using his bachelor degree. Again, this is about critical and 'non-critical' course in the university. We do not have any specification in job sphere like those who are secured in the job market. We are not protected by anyone except by the God and the knowledge or experience that we get in the master degree level is more than the money 'wasted'. Anyway, I wish him good luck and hope that he could get a fine job for himself soon. I also wish my little sister luck. My future is yet undetermined, and I better worry more about my thesis and the present.
List on What to Do?
Need to sleep around 23:00 and get up at the time around 3-4 in the morning. I recall what I did during the first year degree regarding to clean the soul from filth of the world in the list of what we need to do every morning according to rites and situation:
1. Raise up at 3:45 and recite the name of the God
2. Wash the mouth and clean the teeth
4. Recite His 99 Glorious Names
5. Recite Quran and pick a surah to memorize
6. Walk for mosque
7. Fajr prayer service
Most important thing, no wasting of time..... It is not good for health.
Current Issue about Suicide
I had heard the news about a student who commit suicide in UNISEL and I think students need to think on how to strengthen their faith to Him. Anyway the student is a Hindu and not a Muslim but still he is a human-being. What I feel as sad is that he might face depression because I understand how it feels when we are alone and we have no one to at least talking about the problem. I heard that he might have problem regarding love or something related to studies and he is only a 19 years old student. Just wishing his family a deep condolence. Satan will easily attack a person if a person is spiritually weak because the soul is the generator of the physical body.
As far as I know in Buddhism and Hinduism, a person who kill himself or herself will not be immediately incarnated in the hell or in the paradise. Their spirit will keep repeating the act of suicide until their supposed age being fulfilled. Later, they will be tortured in the hell as the consequence of the karmma (act). And then being incarnated again in the earthly realm. I guess this is how Malays in our country got their folklore about the place will be haunted because the spirit which is not incarnated will be roaming around the place where the person commit suicide. This is the belief of a Buddhist.
The death which is considered as suicide in Hindu-Buddhism are the death because of carelessness such as accident, maternity death, death because of abortion where the unborn baby will be tormented in the hell and being a ghost known as kumara thongkham (golden prince) or toyol but it is not golden instead looking like being burned and etc. In Malay based on Buddhist belief, this kind of death is called as mampui or taai hung in rough Thai. So, these kind of death made the spirit of the deceased roaming around and I can hear many Malay friends where 100% of Malays are Muslim talking about this without realizing that they are mentioning the belief of their ancestors, hehehe. But in Islam, the explanation is different.
Sealed with prayers for mercy, love, and peace, amin!