I am so thankful to Allah. My relationship with Pak Adam, the Tuk Siak of our mosque growing better although last time I had bitter experience with him, hehe. He had done nothing wrong to me but maybe kind of over-reacted last time. He had reprimanded me and had few times mistaken my deeds in the mosque as disrespecting some rituals like adzan (prayer calling).
He shouted at me at the time where I was holding my cellphone to off it down but he thought that I was messaging someone or playing with the snake in the phone, lol. I can't leave my phone because I wear no watch and I need to check the time at the phone. Time is gold for human who are framed in this creature of Allah : )
How it becomes good in my first impression today? He had reserved me some porridge although I never talked with him before. Maybe he had seen me many times before and trying to talk with me but I always avoiding anyone who sees me. He keep following me to talk but I just want to avoid crowds after reciting some holy verses because I need to return to my far away hostel on the hill crossing Bukit Gambir road to prepare some humble breaking fast meal before cleaning myself again for congregational 'Isya prayer service. I just don't feel comfortable for people to see me nor knowing me. Just want to be like a wind and I prefer to have no significance in anyone life. Last time it's quite boring but now I feel quite comfortable because I could feel Him close with me when I am alone : )
I always try not to take any food provided at the mosque although sometimes it can't be avoided, hopefully Allah forgives me. I actually had learned that we are prohibited from taking any donation because we have to avoid from violating other brothers and sisters right. So, I would try to avoid as possible as I can. I believe this is the reason why last time when I apply everything from our state government and federal government and our application got turned down without any answer.
Sometimes I would look from afar at the people eating around although I feel like I wanted to join everyone and just having some chat with them while enjoying the food. Not because I am hungry or I want those free food badly because last time I fast almost a full year after my repentance to punish myself before Allah punish me in the hereafter. When I read the story from the glorious Quran about our brethren, the children of Israel who have to kill themselves as they had strayed; I trembled to my knees and I thought that I must die too. But then I realized that Allah Mercy is also boundless so I choose to punish myself with fasts and also trying to obey Him with acts of penitence. Somehow, solitary is also the punishment I guess and I deserve that, haha.
This is some of the excerpt of a reverted guy who had became a follower of lord Buddha. I actually observed strict Buddhist law too when I became his follower. Because a Buddhist must submit himself or herself under the protection of the Three Gems which are the Teacher representing lord Buddha, the Dharmma representing the Teachings, responsibility by incarnation or birth and karma law, and the Sangkom which is represented by the Monastic Community.
I didn't want to talk or listen anything about God anymore but only about morality just like the Teacher had taught. It is not from blindly following others because I did my observation, listened and learned about Buddhists practices, Buddha's life, angelic beings like deities and concepts of the philosophy before making decision to properly observing practices. Not to forget lord Buddha's picture in my wallet to remind me of the noble paths and teachings. I still keep some pictures and Buddhism religious notes with me before the death of my grandpa. But after that, we had moved and most of the papers and stuffs are now lost.
The reason I became like that was actually I felt so disappointed with Muslims as a community and how people whom are Muslims themselves looked at us as a hapless group of students. Nobody care about Islamic teachings although they talk about this when certain issues such as riddah (apostacy) or church assistance to Muslims being notoriously notified in papers. Everything has to do with government policy and politics. As for me, I believe that I don't need worldly law. It is enough with His Law and His Supremacy that will eventually drives me to noble conducts.
There is no spiritual dimension in everyone, no morality, and people only care about themselves in contrary to brotherhood concept proposed in the scripture. I read about dark period called Kaliyug in Hindu-Buddhist sources and it fits this era too. Spiritual dimension in oneself being driven out by his lower self. Even until today I see this but I won't let myself being punished more because of these kind of people or behavior. Let Allah guides everyone with His Mercy and Guidance.
I heard that there is almost a similar case currently happened and quite a hot issue in Facebook though I do not join it because I think it is just a waste for me to debate or argue about anything while faith is in the first place the matter of our heart after what had been taught through scriptures. On the other hand, I hate Facebook and other social sites, haha. I wish that no one simply judges the boy or his family and ironically he was also a religious stream student. It would be best to slowly advice and educate him because he is still a young guy who will also going through maturity when the time comes. Personally, I think that the boy just wanted to get some attention from others, maybe needs some love and that's why he is advertising it to others in 'Facepuke,' hahaha.
Sometimes some 'Muslims' born in Muslim family background just don't understand how does it feel when these people face this kind of situation because they never put themselves in others' shoes. They don't understand how does it feels when being rejected by their own community or society. So, they could easily mock people around without examining or sitting alone and thinking about themselves. People experience is different, so we don't simply mock people because we don't know what they had gone through in their life.
Anyhow, after a long winding muqaddimah right from the bottom of my heart... We would learn basic things again. We would learn about angels of Allah. It is the second of the pillar of faith where we believe in angels of Allah. They have their functions and why Allah creates angels? Allah is the Most Almighty and He can execute His Will without anyone intervention.
Those angels are the prove of His Might, Wisdom and His Dominion. Angels have no power at all, because they are also Allah slaves and creatures just like us human being, earth, and others. Angels are created from the light and they are invincible before ordinary human physical eyes. Some of them are His noble celestial emissaries to His human messengers for His teachings. They execute whatever is ordered and decreed upon them.
His noble emissary to pour revelation to His prophets and messengers heart where these people are chosen human-being. Sometimes he is referred as the ruhul quddus (the holy spirit) or ruhul aamin (the trustworthy spirit).
Distributing sustenance according to His Will.
Blowing the trumpet with His order to denote the Resurrection Day.
Angel of the death.
Munkar and Nakir
These two will ask questions to the dead in his or her grave regarding deeds and faith.
Receiving the dwellers of paradise.
Receiving the dwellers of hell.
The angel who takes note on human good deeds.
The angel who takes note on human evil deeds.
These 10 angels we had learned during our evening religious class during our childhood. It is just a basic thing where every Muslim must at least recognize them. We believe in these angels according to their functions. Some of them such as Jibril (Gabriel) and Mikail (Michael) are mentioned in glorious Quran.
Other than that, there are angels whom collectively known as Zabaniyah. Zabaniyah are angels who torture criminals in the hell and I guess they are countless because according to some narrations there are 70,000. Number 7 in Arabic always denote that certain thing is countless. There are also angels at human body parts, those who protecting human, areas and others.
Besides there are also those four angels who bear the "Throne." Their number will multiply to eight during the Day of Resurrection. We do not know how they look like or speculating about them. Some of the description is prophesied through hadiths but we have no authority to describe them in picture.
Why people today behave so out of the code of the law of life while they claim themselves as people who believe in Allah and born in Muslim family? Perhaps they only claim themselves as professing the faith at their mouth while their heart never feel the existence of Allah and these invincible creatures of Allah.
The lack understanding of the pillars of faith and its relation to the pillars of the law of life would lead us to be disbelievers without we realize it though we claim ourselves as Muslim. It is just how we call ourselves but does not really describing our heart and our practices. It goes back to how we have faith in our heart toward what had been taught in the glorious Quran. Whether we really have faith that Allah is actually could see whatever we did or have in our heart and wherever we are. Either it is as clear as daylight or as dark as the night without moonlight. He sees everything while we can't see Him because our heart is closed. We are the one who choose to close it.
May Allah save us from hypocrisy and prevent us from being ingrates to Him without we realize it while we are just His lowly servants and creatures whom are dependent to Him. Our Lord, prevent us from being corrupted from our faith in You and in Your messenger s.a.w when we are nigh the death when the 'breath' is at the throat. May He makes our heart straight only for Him and pouring sincerity into it, His Will. Sealed with prayers for peace, love and mercy, for the faithfuls, aminn!