Argggh... Backpain!

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

I actually sat down on the chair thinking on how to repair my research proposal in written term since my lecturer had asked me to send it to her before September. Been like this since few days ago. Well sitting in front of computer more than one hour is actually a torture for our muscle and back. It hurts my back, I can't bent down and it also prevents me from joining Taraweekh congregational prayer service besides the cold and fever.

So, I had been reading about health more since health is also a grace from Allah. We should keep His trust in good condition as to make sure that we do not return this trust which is our mass without any attempt to keep it in good condition. I read articles about backpain and this is one of it. Now only, I realize that I had tormented my back. So, please dear brothers and sisters take a good care of your health and never under-estimate any pain or disease. When you have little sickness or feeling pain at any part, don't be like me feeling shy to burden people in the clinic or hospital. Right away consult your doctors! Always doing some stretching or exercise although only five minutes in a day. It would do, to prevent you from neurological diseases and other pain. It is very important.

Other than that, my roommate, Mr. Jamal has messaged me that he was coming last morning assuming that I might be keeping a scout person in the room. So, I immediately cleaned up my room and packed my hygienic stuffs for worship purpose to Azren's room inside the campus. I would like to thank Azren and expressing gratitude for sheltering me for a night, may Allah bless you with His bountiful sustenance for your kindness. You already helped me a lot. I don't know what will happen to me if you're not there. I had already spent my nights last semesters like at the mosque stairs, under trees (I did cried to Allah alone under trees and reciting stories about our patriarch Abraham and Maryam the mother of Jesus Christ sufferings around mosque's area), under huts without walls and musalla when I had problem with previous roommates in previous room. I also felt like jumping down from 10th floor when I felt like nobody was beside me but the God had prevented it with His Words (Quranic verses) that I recite everyday.     

When staying in Azren's room, I managed to stay away from computer so I have more time revising Quranic verses and reciting it alone because Azren is working. I could take a walk and having some deep breath of unadulterated morning air after Fajr prayer which reminds me of my first degree times. I listened to some excerpts of Fajr lecture after the prayer from outside of the mosque and having some deep thought in silence despite the sound wasn't so clear to my ears. I returned to Azren's room and reading copies of my research's early parts. Jotting my idea manually and watched some TV to relax my mind. It's good for our spine when we do all of these as services to the God, haha.

Then I went to the mosque again for Maghrib service from there since it is closer than when I am in my hostel far across the road outside of the campus. I thought that I would be breaking my fast alone, drinking some milk and having biscuits that I bought from Maju Jaya Sungai Dua store at a hut near the mosque. Suddenly, two servants of Allah whom are a Pakistani and an Arab brothers accompanied me with some roti and mutton gravy. They took care the Arab Bazaar just beside the hut and maybe I had disturbed their common breaking fast place. Thanks Allah that they did not chase me away, instead generously inviting me for their meal. I pray may Allah bless them and be Merciful to them for their kindness. I am a nobody and I always think that I do not deserve warm and friendly treatment. However, when brothers spontaneously showing 'mercy,' it is actually the 'grace' from Allah in their selves because 'it' is in their heart.

I am thankful to Allah, tonight I can pray together in congregational manner and not alone. Thank You dear Allah for being Merciful letting me having this opportunity. I had listened news about deaths from my mum and also from Mijie who was my previous third year degree roommate. Mijie is still there as he works as a research assistant for Geography department. Many people died at a very young age. We will also following the footstep but we do not know when as it is in His wisdom. We could only pray that He shall be Merciful to us and never leaving us alone. As for me, I am already a loner without any close friend, childhood friend, or whom ever friend it is. I only have Allah. If Allah too leaving me, then I would only taste a 'real' death :'(    

Sealed with prayers for peace, mercy, and love, amin! 

Recap: Return Home

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

continue...

On 27th I guess my pocket is going to be broke if I stay longer. I had activated the account but my account would be insufficient while I have no one in the city. So, I decided to withdraw some 3000 bhat (RM300) at Thai CIMB and decided to board a flight to return home as it is more fast. Since I didn't stay for another booked night at the room. The receptionist lady had returned me some 25% of my money. Good, I could try some food out there if I am fortunate to find some halal stalls.

First I walked along Silom road first and finding some breakfast. I could see two Muslim stalls in the morning. So, I approached them and bought a round bread with butter spread and sugar sprinkled in it baked on a charcoal stove for 10 bhat (RM 1). And then I get some cold coffee from a stall ran by two Muslim girls for 18 bhat (RM 1.80). 

I could see some Buddhist ladies offering necessities for the monks who stand along the road and ladies listening to prayers in Bali after made their offerings. I just put some donation at the beggars along the road and also buying a pack of rice from stalls to be given to the monks. I do not offer it as a believer anymore, but as a sign that Allah mercy is boundless. His mercy does not bound only to Muslim but to all of His creatures. His unworthy slaves and servants must also propagate mercy, peace and love amongst fellow slaves.

Chong Nonsi BTS Station in day light. 

Morning activity in Silom road.

Stalls along Silom road.

Near Chong Nonsi area.

To Airport Rail Link heading for airport, haha.

An Asura replica in Suvarnabhumi airport.

Vishnu Kurmavatara churning milk sea which is an incarnation of Vishnu in the 10 incarnations from Thai Brahmanical narration depicted just after the customs check.

Going to the departure to board the flight for Penang.

Gate where I board the flight.

I took BTS line at Chong Nonsi but before that I thought that I wanted to take the train from Rajathamri but I was lost after crossing Henry Dunant. So, I walked again some kilometers back to Chong Nonsi line and from there straight to Airport Rail Link to Suvarnabhumi airport. 

After arriving at Suvarnabhumi I bought a ticket at Thai Airasia counter after a short waiting and instantly paying around RM375. Just can't wait longer in the city or I have to beg beside the road to return. It would be different if I work or live there.

Then at 15:15, I board the flight and around an hour and 45 minutes arrived at Penang International Airport. Thank You Allah for this safe journey. I arrived at my hostel around 19:00 after an hour in the bus because there was so many cars on the road. Then I prayed at Sungai Dua USM mosque and thanking Allah again.

Thank You Allah through this short travel, I had learned a lot. Although I didn't get to cover many places, many mosques, or any interesting area but just wandering around Silom road but I had learned new things. I learned on how Thais feeling confident with themselves and they do not shy although they don't speak English. They keep talking in their national language and forcing foreigners to learn their isolated language. I was forced to speak in a language that I had left unspoken for about 10 years while in the city.

I saw many different cuisines although most of them are non-halal as the cooks are non-Muslims. I had tried public transportation in Thailand. Those rail lines are quite a headache for me even when I am in KL, but very interesting. I also get a new spirit after such a boring time at home and at hostel. At least I had done something meaningful for myself and I engrave this memory in this site to be revised again by myself if I have other opportunities to visit the city again, insya'Allah :)

Fin....

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa ahlihi wa sahbihi ajma'in. Our Lord please be in contact with prophet Muhammad s.a.w and his family and his companions and everyone. Sealed with prayers for peace, love, and mercy on everyone, amin!   

Just arrived in campus... What a tiring day!

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

Just arrived in the campus yesterday evening because I have to prepare my research's first chapter to be checked by the supervisor. Praise be to God, I managed to perform obligatory salaat for mid day and afternoon prayers although through jama' n qasar way. I hope God forgives me because I did not perform proper ma'amad with dirty clothes and vessel but instead just performing ablution as the time was almost out.

Then I still can pray evening prayer in congregation in musalla desa Tekun, thankful to God again You are indeed the Most Merciful. Actually today we are already in peaceful saturday as what we call it as two holy days. We suppose to fast yesterday which is on Thursday but I am in travel so I have to be a bit flexible.

The journey with Plusliner wasn't so pleasant and I have to sit beside a girl. That's still ok, but the seat in the bus is quite limited in space so I felt numb at my feet and other parts of body. The journey becoming rather tormenting when the driver has to drive slowly due to that there are speed traps in the high way.

Long time haven't doing exercise, hehe. It makes me feel like a sick old man when being contained by the bus. Poor grandpa I used to mock him when he said that he felt sick few months before he passed away. I realize how evil I was now, God please forgive my sins. Please let my grandpa resting in peace!!! 

For tomorrow's peaceful saturday I need to get some sugarless bread or dates and a little bit salt. I already have two packets of salt with me. Tomorrow I need to perform ma'amad before friday prayer and also before maghrib. A bottle of plain water. Prepare everything together with prayer books for blessings before sunset so after that I can perform maghrib prayer in peace without disturbing others if performing congregational prayer in masjid.

Now, I don't really know how to describe my feeling. When I arrived in the campus this evening, I have a weird feeling. I don't like this institution or maybe this place because I had lost my moments. Time is indeed playing it's role. Now I really have to make choice and taking the risk again and again in this uncertain period. Tomorrow, I've to get a letter at the center for graduate students to make sure that I can find the job. Then I would have to discuss this matter with my supervisor. I guess I would have to finish european language paper through external classes.

I hope our lecturer do not obligate us to attend her classes when we take the paper for politics and decision makin' again but just obligate us to answer the exam. I really need tools to perform this life. I hate to talk about money as it would be considered as thaghut (idolatries) if being needed excessively, and in the end our god would actually be the money and not Him. It is also mentioned in scriptures but what else can I do. That is the necessity now. I have no choice and I already feel ashamed to my parents for being a burden to them. I hope I am not being a polytheist again and may He forbids me from being a person attached to money nor materials.

Last few nights I already had quarrels with one of my sister concerning this matter. But as to say I never ask her to sponsor me anything. She just sponsors me when she wants me to company her for entertainment like watching her French movies where I don't really like those movies nor do I understand them.

I would not take anything from anyone if it concerns my dignity. Even when I did not have money for expenditure, I would rather fast so I may not be a burden to the world. Anyhow, I should be aware that He is testing me. I am not out of His holy view. May He forgives me, everyone around me and giving me patience to go through this tiring journey. May this nightmare never haunt me when I began to open up my eyes in the eternal world there.

When we are in difficulties we ought to remember that He is with us backing us up. The test is to make us closer to Him. When we are in easy time, we should also remember. He is also testing us whether we would be in the straight path or deviating because we tend to forget Him who sustains us. That is called as istidraaj. Already happened to humans before us like the Tsamud and the 'Aad tribes of the ancient Arab nation mentioned in the holy Quran. 

Anyhow, I would like to express my gratitude to You for a safe journey where You protect me. I realize that You are protecting me, dear Lord. Help me to perform this life. Please protect my faith and creed so I would be in the right track of Yours, o You who is the Most Beneficent. I had already facing tests and tribulations in this life since I was a toddler but only now I get to realize it. I believe all of us, Your servants would be tested because this earth is the field for those who are tested. Praises be only to You forever, aamin!!!