Thanking the Lord of universe for His amazing grace upon us. I just returned from the mosque up there and today is a great day in a weekend, Friday... Yeayy!! I am so happy for Friday because it is the day mentioned in the prophecy on eschatology that the universe will be destructed for the "Kingdom" to come. The first fruit of this is the death and decays that we could see around us.
I think I had enough trying with the hotel industry. Because they do not need an educated person and while I actually trying to apply for jobs. I do not intend to be there for eternity because I only need a tool to move within my personal mission and I cannot beg for fund because it is illegal, haram though I am doing it in the way of "Ibn Sabil". I do not care about worldly fame nor luxurious life. I do not want that because I know they are not eternal. The way to trample eternal death is through His merciful and compassionate Love and Pleasure. I think I am going to be honest to my mother. I am a da'ie and once I get to return to our ancestral lineage, I wanted their name to be cleaned and dedicating my life to be devoted and transferring meritorious deeds for them. I wanted those related to our "family" who were strayed from the "Path" to return and together receiving salvation. I realize that many face troubles like me but they cannot define or determine it as a call from Him because they are... alone.
By the way, regarding the job interview in Shangrila yesterday. I just received the same feedback like the first time I went in the Evelyn Hotel chain in our area. In the beginning I would just applying for operational jobs such as steward (dish-washer), laundry, bell-boy and stuffs. Why am I applying for that and not for executives position? Because I am a new person trying to explore the hotel industry and I understood that we cannot simply go to higher position without an entry level. Or else people would question us again with your rather limited experience and not related education how could you right away being an executive? I do not want to tell lies by giving a resume with my previous educational experience being erased because I know that people would ask me what are you doing in the time gap in which I went for further studies. That would be a long story so I just state everything in the resume and the form as honest as I can as the interviewer could check my background without being judgmental. People cannot dig everything about us only in one day.
The Human Resource lady was quite sexy, haha. I could see that she is a Sabahan based from her name and the crucifix at her neck. She wears skimpy dress and she looks more like a model rather than a Human Resource manager. Then I also encountered the same question being posed to me when I went for the interview in Evelyn Hotel around May 2013, "Are you nervous?" Of course I am nervous because that place is still new for me and I am in front of a sexy beautiful lady. I mean nothing wrong with that but I just feel uncomfortable with too many personal questions being asked and obviously you can see that I am nervous and why were you still asking that? I would rather being asked about my previous experience. Usually they would give us "problem solving" questions and we have to give a situation how we solve that while we were in our previous job. Basically I have no bad experience with my previous employers at all because I love the job. I just have the problem with people around because I am not a "show-off" person. I do not like to show-off nor flattering myself because that is not my "nature" but that lady told me that it seems like I am trying to impress her and showing-off my qualifications. I nearly go for "Buddhist" monk ordination as according to "Āraṇyaka" tradition when I followed Theravada school of Buddhism when I was a young man and tell us what kind of person is a Buddhist monk and what are their disciplines?? They are known as bhikkhus or ascetics who trained themselves for right concentration and liberating mind from psychological impacts of the illusion in the environment. Fortunately my mother took me home or else right now I am somewhere perhaps in the thick forest meditating alone with wild animals and "ghosts"! I do not simply get the knowledge about "Pallava" holy script and Sanskrit-Pali from no where. There was someone who taught me and later I began to search it after I get close to resources...
So, my answer to the lady. I am not trying to prove anything or impressing anyone. That is never my intention. I just need an immediate job because I am totally stuck right now. I only have RM80 in my CIMB account without any transportation like car or even motorcycle that would enable me to travel far to other region. I saved some RM500 in other account and that is only for emergency. My mother had deposited RM7000 something in my Tabung Haji but that is not for me! That is for pilgrimage because she wanted to repair her worship and she needs a maḥram with her. I applied for steward job and she offered me a receptionist. I do not even care about the position. I just need some earnings to move on to the next stage, that is all.
I tried to apply in the Isma'ili Shi'a Institute as the representative of Fatimid Empire after the al-Azhar University but that institute is too far. It is in the United Kingdom. I also tried for Umm al-Qura University and our government's training itself for Quranic memorization and training to be a proper ordained da'ie according to our law but my age is already above 25 years old. I studied secular studies not for "worldly" life but simply to be a tool for the "Path" and transmitting peace and mercy. I did all of these just after I had the instinct to return to "Islam" when I was 17 years old just few month before my mother brought me to Holy Mecca for pilgrimage during the high holidays.
Then, I was interviewed for the second time by a senior front office assistant and He suggested me to apply for KL Shangrila too if I am interested to join the hotel chain. I guess he is a Chinese national perhaps from HK autonomous territory or Macao and he asked me about my Chinese proficiency. Usually the simple question being asked by Chinese people all over the world, "ḥui jiang zhungwen ma?" Can you speak in Chinese (written and spoken)? Also about accented Chinese whether I can understand them? Then he talks about Penang and I believe he was from there too. I never saw any HK student nor those from Macao in the Universiti Sains Malaysia before because I only know some of those students from Northern and Western China such as from Hebei, Hunan, Gansu and Xinjiang (Eastern Turkestan) be they undergraduate students or post-graduate students.
I think that maybe he looks at my Chinese language proficiency too but I am not sure whether they are going to offer me the job or not. I do not think I will accept that job even if they offer me because of that lady who first interviewed me had spoiled my mood by saying that university graduates are arrogant and will jump of here and there. And I saw that there are "wine" bottles down there and I am in the vow of setting myself consecrated for Him which makes me feel uncomfortable in the surrounding related to those things that could lead to the "distortion of mind" although I am not directly involved with those things since I never leave behind our ancient sages' traditions (Torah; Bamidvar 6:8). I am already 27 years old which makes me mature enough to properly think like an adult. Post-graduate students usually would watch out whatever they are thinking before throwing them out as words because they have to argue with lecturers and panels to get through with their thesis... It was not an easy task and I have got no payment for that at all! I even paid for the lecturers to train me in our semester fees. My mother and father sponsored me different to when I was an undergraduate where I made a loan with the government. I am not an undergraduate student nor a high school graduate no more. I am not simply trying to get a job because I wanted to enjoy my life and for a living but I wanted it to be more than that. I wanted to bring the offerings to Him which is, a heart.
What else we could try to find other jobs. I am not giving up. I will never give up!!! In Him only we trust, He is the One who bestows us sustenance. I am still memorizing the Quran by our national standard and by using the standard proposed by the Dār al-Quran because I had analyzed that they have a good standard for the Quranic memorization and I will integrate their method and standard in my practices. We sacrifice our selves for Him and for other souls may everyone attain salvation in this very life and the hereafter, inshā-Allah.....
Indeed the God the Highest and angels recite the ṣalawat upon the noble prophet Muhammad s.a.w. O, ye faithful servants recite the ṣalawat upon the noble prophet Muhammad s.a.w and pray for his soul with good words.
Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace and love, amin!