How is everyone doing? It has been long that I haven't check this side. To tell the truth, I miss beloved brothers and sisters though I have never seen all of you. I consider that I am in a spiritual circle and communicating with brothers and sisters before the God. Thank you for patiently reading this site. I wish that I could offer sacrifices as offers for brothers and sisters may brothers and sisters enjoy the Love of the God and being protected in this very life and the hereafter.
Beginning this 1st of April 2013, I will officially becoming a staff with the airport services. Again, I am going to be a worker in the airport. I am not trying to be negative but I don't like that place. For this three months to come, I would be on training for the specific job and task in the ground handling division of the services. The salary offered for me is at the level of O-Level students which is about RM900 or equal to USD 290.93. Well, I consider it as fair for one who has no continuous working record. Just be patient maybe I could work over the time and gain more. I should only make the salary as the tool for me to liberate me from worldly concerns though money is also a worldly thing.
My father is now paralyzed in his other part of the body too. He could only move his head, his face and his left hand. Poor dad... Sometimes he would be stricken with high fever and shivering all over his body. I have to find the job and accept anything that come across because of financial problem. It is not wise to just collecting tin cans and selling thrashes. I am pretty sure the proper House of Sciences would never accept me since I am over the 25 years old requirement. I can't just be a muballigh but maybe have to opt for a mujtaheed who derives legal edicts through Quranic, Sunnah and the Wisdom of the Ahl Bayt sources. I would have to stress more on Arabic and Persian.
First thing that I need to put into my diary is the necessity to settle down the national loan that I had made in the university for my first degree and to set up a saving for my mother. It is for her safety because I am not sure whether I would be leaving her after two years to serve the Path. For the time-being maybe I need to observe on how I could maintain my lifestyle with regard the worship and sacrifices for Him while working. It is not as easy as studying because I had this experience of working just after my A-Level studies too.
I feel that I made a mistake too when accepting the undergraduate studies offer in the university. I should just repeat the paper for Islamic Legal studies and getting the Quranic memorization iqamat. The linguistic, translation and interpretation studies are just a little part in Islamic Path studies. It's ok, whatever happened has already happened. I need to check on what I could do now in order to fix my mistakes as a human-being who only realizes everything after encountering incidents in life.
I just photocopied some forms and the contract that I am signing before being passed down to the human resource department. It's not wise to xerox papers in the Tafaz Maju department store cause it is a waste. They charged the paper and the current for the machine while the shop assistant can only speak in Tamil. Maybe he just arrived.
It is very hard for me to apply for the zakat since our family lineage forbids us from applying it although it is to study the Islamic studies that I wanted to return to very badly because of the sinful feeling for breaking the spiritual chain and the prayers of our elders. Though I am a Hanbali by jurisprudence school in most of my worship acts but the Shafie orthodox jurisprudence based from the al-Umm by Imam Abu Idris al-Shafie is still deeply rooted in ourselves. We only could accept the khums or one fifth of the fund specifically dedicated to the Hashemite clan. This was introduced by Abu Taleb the father of our imam Ali r.a. I am not sure about the zakat system in our country right now whether I could apply it. I checked in every terms of national jurisprudence school but I can't find any mention about khums as stated in al-Umm. I never have any courage to apply it. I tried to tell my family members but they are not aware about this. Other people may not understand us because they are just aware about their selfish needs in this temporary world. I can do nothing because the Power controlling everything only belongs to Him. So, what I could do is just to keep my mouth shut and try to fix everything for myself with prayers to Him may He assist me on my course to return to Him and to repent.
Whatever it is, I must remember to hold with the wisdom within the right hand, the sunnah within the left hand and the Quran within the heart and soul. Al-Fatehah and salawat for the soul of noble prophet Muhammad s.a.w, the Ahl Bayt, the preceding noble prophets, the saints, the faithful servants, myself and for the soul of His creatures hidden and seen may His Mercy-Compassionate Love protecting everyone from the tests of the end of the time.
Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace and love, amin!