Thursday, 10 May 2012

Telling What I Feel to the Lord

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

Just suddenly feel like trying to perform 'uzlah for You dear Lord. Early this morning I just wanted to lament on myself. Lord I am filthy. I am dirty. I am poor. I have no possession. I have no car. I have no motorcycle. I have no transportation. I only have my feet for me to walk everywhere and they are all Your belongings not mine. All the praise only for You, Glorious be You dear Lord.

I was a strayed sheep. Nobody really brings me to Your path but You are the One who helped me to return to You because You understands my inner side and listening to cries in my heart. All the praise only for You, Glorious be You.

Lord, please keep me on the right track. Lord, please make the "world" stays away from my heart and my soul. Don't let my heart and soul being attached to the "world". The world is evil to me. It is not fair to me, dear Lord. Only You are fair and just to me. Please judge the "world" with reasonable redemption for making me feeling down with myself. 

Lord, if my mouth is shut for my benefit, I am pleased with it. Thank You dear Lord. Indeed You know what is the best for Your creatures and the universe. I am waiting for the Resurrection and Redemption, dear Lord. Please let me free from the evil whispers of Your creatures. Let me free from slavery of the "world". Make me only Your "slave". I don't need any other Master than You.    

Ya Allah help me to wake up. I don't have any human roommate here. I have only brothers of different creations which are Your angels and genies around me. I am aware about their presence around me. I have to be strong to wake up early this morning. Please help me Ya Allah please don't leave me alone grant me strength.

I don't care about people anymore. Say anything people wanted to say to me regarding whatever da'awah or anything. My Lord is watching me and I don't have to show off by joining any movement just to be seen like a non-strayed sheep who will never be snatched by jackals (satans). When I was alone, not even my relatives, cousins, and etc who are Muslims helping me and I became an infidel because you people made me one. If not because His Mercy perhaps I would also be an unfortunate person in the hereafter and those who claim themselves as "Muslims" would never have any responsibility to help me. Because you are selfish and have no balls but you people look like men yet talking about Yahoodi or Nasrani like you are holier than them in your creed and faith. You use the Quran and Hadith through the authority of Muhammad s.a.w but you never mirror yourself (muhasabah). Because you never ponder and analyzing on the messages but just reciting them like parrots even if you speak in Arabic. Don't you people feel ashamed to Allah??!

Stop talking about da'awa to me as if you people had done a lot for nations and for Him. If you did it only for worldly benefits with statements like Muslim dominion or etc then go away from me! I don't need to listen to you. Your Lord more over doesn't need you! The One who has full Dominion over the universe is Him not you not anybody. The period when the regent rules is just a temporary period and it is the initial to the end. The end is His Kingdom (Malakut)! You people never helping your brothers but leaving your brothers alone when your brothers need you. When you're surrounded by people you forget others. When you're alone or maybe you need help or support, you come closer to a poor brother in 'uzlah and seeking help or simply to feel that you are not alone. Your poor brother lowering his dignity and inviting you like an idiot. Don't you think your brother is also a human like you and also feels like you? May Allah bless you people! The situation which I encountered is just the same whether at home or outside. Just pray Allah forgives others may Allah also forgives my sins.

Recite salawat and respect for prophet Muhammad s.a.w, his family members, and his companions. Recite salawat for prophet Ibrahim a.s and his family. Salawat and respect for prophet's Ibrahim a.s sons, dear patriarch Isma'el a.s and patriarch Ishaq a.s. Salawat for prophet Musa a.s and prophet Isa a.s and for their family. May Allah grants peace to our patriarchs and our prophets, messengers of the God, sages and holy men.    

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace and love, amin! 

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