Lord, please help me to get these books in order to reach You... Please be my Friend, Lord. I feel You are leaving me, I am afraid!!! I know I am evil and deceived by the world but please help me, I try to be close to You but I had lost the guidelines. You are the only Guide that I have, please guide me, with Your Mercy :'''
Now, I must stop lamenting myself and stop feeling sorry. No one would be sorry to me if I am in the hell for letting this evil era deceiving me except with Lord's Mercy. Now come to guidelines where we checked our Yemeni counterpart curriculum. Take this out and check whether those books are in the box. If not, try to find them by asking related people.
Guidelines on Studies
1. Memorize each texts studied.
2. Learn meanings and explanations from a teacher, based from lessons on sharh or an interpretive book of the text. This means I need to consult people in Islamic Center and digging up my old notes regarding texts that I am going to learn since I have no chance to return to my old life.
3. Upon completing a text and answering exams, I would be advancing to the next text in the series. I must understand and memorize by heart all the texts learned before changing to other topic.
4. Period expected to complete everything is 4 years. Ya Allah, how many years I had wasted :'(
Texts Used in Darul Mustafa
Matan Abi Shuja'
'Umdat as-Salik (Reliance of the Traveler)
Minhaj at-Talibeen (Methods of Students)
al-'Aqidah by Imam al-Haddad
Mukhtar al-Hadith by Habeeb Umar bin Hafeez
Al-Arba'in an-Nawawiyyah by Imam an-Nawawi
Sciences of Heart
Risaalat al-Mu'awanah (Book of Assistance)
Check series of Imam al-Haddad
Bidayat al-Hidayah by Imam al-Ghazali
Ihya 'Ulumuddin by Imam al-Ghazali
Upon learning, try to find places and environment to perform everything being learned. Don't just learn and keep it inside the closet. Transmit the Mercy and Salvation to universe! In order to do this, I need to improve public speaking skills in Malay, English, Chinese, and Arabic. Try to go out to places around though alone, not anymore time to just meditate in this 'cave.' I will try to make the list of public places, churches, and temples for visits and monitor, inshaallah. Money constraint and mobility? Don't worry, Allah will help. Don't beg for them, it is haraam and a disgrace to ancestors! Try to survive... Regarding Qiyaamullail (Night Vigil), I need to sleep as early as 11 p.m. Sleep with belt, in case if I am lazy to wake up since there is no mum to help me. Try to get Hegira Calender to check prayers time. Lord of Strength please help me, be with me and bring me to straight path :'(
Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!!!