We may test a person whether he is a good friend not through these 10 lights of friendship. As human, we still need to be in contact with other fellow human-beings although Allah is the genuine trustworthy wali for us.
We must share at least few things with others, sadness or happiness, because if we keep all of them we might be drowned into insanity. When we wanted to tell all of these things, we must first making sure that the person we are telling these is trusrtworthy and we are confident with him. So, it must be someone that we know well or what we called as friend.
1. Basis of friendship is trustworthiness and honesty, this is a pure intention of friendship.
2. A good friend is a firm friend, he never pretends in front of you, bold, and not in agreement with us if we did something wrong. He would be against wrong things we had done, although it might be hurting for us.
3. A good friend will sacrifice for his friend wherever there is a necessity. He would never be the one who only accepts but also giving to his friend.
4. A good friend will always be patient with our different moods. He would never quickly feel angry when looking at our bad attitude but dealing with it in patience. When our mood is good, then only he would talk about our bad attitude to show what is wrong and what is right.
5. He would be bold to us, never lie although with lies we thought that we could be polite to friend (I guess I am not a good friend yet when it comes to boldness because I hate to see friends feel sad or ashamed of their selves).
6. A good friend is a friend who respects our marriages, he would respect us and also our wife.
7. His moral would be higher than us, open-minded, and noble intention in friendship. He would bring us above and never let us down. He would stand in equal stage with us.
8. If there is a necessity he would sacrifice his property and anything needed for us. I think that this is a very noble friendship and in coincidence with what had happened during Madinah period of Hijrah.
9. He always try to make his mind in concordance with our way of thinking.
10. He would keep our secret with himself and never tell others. He would never backbitting us. His inner and external would be the same when it comes to our matters.
A wiseman finding a friend just like he is finding money for himself. We believe that having a friend means that a door of holiness in our inner selves would also being opened. If we have two friends, then two doors of holiness in ourselves would be opened and so on. If there is no friend then our brain would function wrongly, and if we are not careful with it, we might lose our sanity because of what we keep in ourselves. It is true some great figure are able to only befriend with their own soul and heart.
Normal human-being like us need friends because we are still in society. We never realize that in our daily life, we are always with a friend rather than with a lover. If our lover betrayed us, who would we talk to concerning our sadness? Losing our stuffs? Death of family members? Difficulties in work? Difficulties in life? After we seek protection from God, we would find our friend to talk with them and consulting solutions or at least just telling them. As for my case, I believe I could just listen to others when they have problem but never tell anyone anything. I had this experience not only with friends but also with family members. Luckily I have this blog to at least talk with God and consider this blog as a friend of mine like what had happened to Anne Frank the holocaust victim.
Professor Hamka in his book, "Life Philosophy" had said that friendship and marriage is almost the same in its content. The difference is that marriage is a union between souls and bodies while friendship is a union between soul and mind.
May all of us getting benefits from this lesson. May we strengthen our congregations, our bonds of friendship no matter if we are Muslims or non-Muslims, I treat everyone just like my life. Make honesty as apart of our life and morality normative as a way of life even if we do not believe in God. I know some friends who are Atheist because my exchange student classmate from Spain for this two semester is also an Atheist.
May Allah bless everyone although some of us do not believe in God. May we cherish our life with everyone who loves us. May we be in peaceful and tranquility always. Special thanks to late professor Hamka (may Allah be pleased with him and blessings of God on his descendants in Indonesia). I love his books and these lessons are from his work. They are motivational and each time I read his books I will get new spirits despite of feeling down due to several reasons.