Many things had happened these weekends along. I have a very hectic 6 months and trying to get someone to talk with about my problems but I found that some secrets rather not good to be shared with others or will expose me to danger. I will assume that I am talking to God in this little space. I don't know how long this blog will end but I will write anything that I feel in here.
As to describe myself, I am not really a talkative person. Even I will have trouble in explaining directions to people when being asked since I don't really talk. I observe more than talking. When I meet people who talks a lot, I will try to keep my self in distance. Not because I am trying to play holy, but I just want to avoid sins as I am already a sinner.
This is among the reasons I don't really have close friends. I am a slave of God seeking for repentance and trying to perform penitence. I hope that God will be Merciful to me, to my parents, to my grandparents, and to my beloved friends by forgiving our sins through the blessings of Islam.
Now I am not really in the mood to revise books for exams. Sometimes we need motivations and I tried to find it myself. But I am still out of mood. I keep asking myself on this step that I had taken. Whether it is correct or not when I am pursuing studies in a totally different field that I had taken during my degree. I had rebelled God when I left religious studies. I want to return back but it seems that my path is now facing obstacles. These are all my faults due to my own ignorance.
God forgive me my sins. Grant me please with Your blessings and give me strength to go through this world. I feel myself as a worthless slave, I had brought my parents into diffilculties. Guide me dear God, be Merciful to me Your lowly servant!!!