Pillars of Faith: Angels of the God

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

I am so thankful to Allah. My relationship with Pak Adam, the Tuk Siak of our mosque growing better although last time I had bitter experience with him, hehe. He had done nothing wrong to me but maybe kind of over-reacted last time. He had reprimanded me and had few times mistaken my deeds in the mosque as disrespecting some rituals like adzan (prayer calling). 

He shouted at me at the time where I was holding my cellphone to off it down but he thought that I was messaging someone or playing with the snake in the phone, lol. I can't leave my phone because I wear no watch and I need to check the time at the phone. Time is gold for human who are framed in this creature of Allah : )

How it becomes good in my first impression today? He had reserved me some porridge although I never talked with him before. Maybe he had seen me many times before and trying to talk with me but I always avoiding anyone who sees me. He keep following me to talk but I just want to avoid crowds after reciting some holy verses because I need to return to my far away hostel on the hill crossing Bukit Gambir road to prepare some humble breaking fast meal before cleaning myself again for congregational 'Isya prayer service. I just don't feel comfortable for people to see me nor knowing me. Just want to be like a wind and I prefer to have no significance in anyone life. Last time it's quite boring but now I feel quite comfortable because I could feel Him close with me when I am alone : )

I always try not to take any food provided at the mosque although sometimes it can't be avoided, hopefully Allah forgives me. I actually had learned that we are prohibited from taking any donation because we have to avoid from violating other brothers and sisters right. So, I would try to avoid as possible as I can. I believe this is the reason why last time when I apply everything from our state government and federal government and our application got turned down without any answer.

Sometimes I would look from afar at the people eating around although I feel like I wanted to join everyone and just having some chat with them while enjoying the food. Not because I am hungry or I want those free food badly because last time I fast almost a full year after my repentance to punish myself before Allah punish me in the hereafter. When I read the story from the glorious Quran about our brethren, the children of Israel who have to kill themselves as they had strayed; I trembled to my knees and I thought that I must die too. But then I realized that Allah Mercy is also boundless so I choose to punish myself with fasts and also trying to obey Him with acts of penitence. Somehow, solitary is also the punishment I guess and I deserve that, haha. 

This is some of the excerpt of a reverted guy who had became a follower of lord Buddha. I actually observed strict Buddhist law too when I became his follower. Because a Buddhist must submit himself or herself under the protection of the Three Gems which are the Teacher representing lord Buddha, the Dharmma representing the Teachings, responsibility by incarnation or birth and karma law, and the Sangkom which is represented by the Monastic Community. 

I didn't want to talk or listen anything about God anymore but only about morality just like the Teacher had taught. It is not from blindly following others because I did my observation, listened and learned about Buddhists practices, Buddha's life, angelic beings like deities and concepts of the philosophy before making decision to properly observing practices. Not to forget lord Buddha's picture in my wallet to remind me of the noble paths and teachings. I still keep some pictures and Buddhism religious notes with me before the death of my grandpa. But after that, we had moved and most of the papers and stuffs are now lost. 

The reason I became like that was actually I felt so disappointed with Muslims as a community and how people whom are Muslims themselves looked at us as a hapless group of students. Nobody care about Islamic teachings although they talk about this when certain issues such as riddah (apostacy) or church assistance to Muslims being notoriously notified in papers. Everything has to do with government policy and politics.  As for me, I believe that I don't need worldly law. It is enough with His Law and His Supremacy that will eventually drives me to noble conducts.

There is no spiritual dimension in everyone, no morality, and people only care about themselves in contrary to brotherhood concept proposed in the scripture. I read about dark period called Kaliyug in Hindu-Buddhist sources and it fits this era too. Spiritual dimension in oneself being driven out by his lower self. Even until today I see this but I won't let myself being punished more because of these kind of people or behavior. Let Allah guides everyone with His Mercy and Guidance. 

I heard that there is almost a similar case currently happened and quite a hot issue in Facebook though I do not join it because I think it is just a waste for me to debate or argue about anything while faith is in the first place the matter of our heart after what had been taught through scriptures. On the other hand, I hate Facebook and other social sites, haha. I wish that no one simply judges the boy or his family and ironically he was also a religious stream student. It would be best to slowly advice and educate him because he is still a young guy who will also going through maturity when the time comes. Personally, I think that the boy just wanted to get some attention from others, maybe needs some love and that's why he is advertising it to others in 'Facepuke,' hahaha.

Sometimes some 'Muslims' born in Muslim family background just don't understand how does it feel when these people face this kind of situation because they never put themselves in others' shoes. They don't understand how does it feels when being rejected by their own community or society. So, they could easily mock people around without examining or sitting alone and thinking about themselves. People experience is different, so we don't simply mock people because we don't know what they had gone through in their life. 

Anyhow, after a long winding muqaddimah right from the bottom of my heart... We would learn basic things again. We would learn about angels of Allah. It is the second of the pillar of faith where we believe in angels of Allah. They have their functions and why Allah creates angels? Allah is the Most Almighty and He can execute His Will without anyone intervention. 

Those angels are the prove of His Might, Wisdom and His Dominion. Angels have no power at all, because they are also Allah slaves and creatures just like us human being, earth, and others. Angels are created from the light and they are invincible before ordinary human physical eyes. Some of them are His noble celestial emissaries to His human messengers for His teachings. They execute whatever is ordered and decreed upon them. 

Jibril 

His noble emissary to pour revelation to His prophets and messengers heart where these people are chosen human-being. Sometimes he is referred as the ruhul quddus (the holy spirit) or ruhul aamin (the trustworthy spirit).

Mikail

Distributing sustenance according to His Will. 

Israfil

Blowing the trumpet with His order to denote the Resurrection Day.

Izrael

Angel of the death.

Munkar and Nakir

These two will ask questions to the dead in his or her grave regarding deeds and faith.

Ridhwan

Receiving the dwellers of paradise.

Maalik

Receiving the dwellers of hell.

Raqib

The angel who takes note on human good deeds.

'Atid

The angel who takes note on human evil deeds.

These 10 angels we had learned during our evening religious class during our childhood. It is just a basic thing where every Muslim must at least recognize them. We believe in these angels according to their functions. Some of them such as Jibril (Gabriel) and Mikail (Michael) are mentioned in glorious Quran. 

Other than that, there are angels whom collectively known as Zabaniyah. Zabaniyah are angels who torture criminals in the hell and I guess they are countless because according to some narrations there are 70,000. Number 7 in Arabic always denote that certain thing is countless. There are also angels at human body parts, those who protecting human, areas and others.

Besides there are also those four angels who bear the "Throne." Their number will multiply to eight during the Day of Resurrection. We do not know how they look like or speculating about them. Some of the description is prophesied through hadiths but we have no authority to describe them in picture.

Why people today behave so out of the code of the law of life while they claim themselves as people who believe in Allah and born in Muslim family? Perhaps they only claim themselves as professing the faith at their mouth while their heart never feel the existence of Allah and these invincible creatures of Allah. 

The lack understanding of the pillars of faith and its relation to the pillars of the law of life would lead us to be disbelievers without we realize it though we claim ourselves as Muslim. It is just how we call ourselves but does not really describing our heart and our practices. It goes back to how we have faith in our heart toward what had been taught in the glorious Quran. Whether we really have faith that Allah is actually could see whatever we did or have in our heart and wherever we are. Either it is as clear as daylight or as dark as the night without moonlight. He sees everything while we can't see Him because our heart is closed. We are the one who choose to close it.

May Allah save us from hypocrisy and prevent us from being ingrates to Him without we realize it while we are just His lowly servants and creatures whom are dependent to Him. Our Lord, prevent us from being corrupted from our faith in You and in Your messenger s.a.w when we are nigh the death when the 'breath' is at the throat. May He makes our heart straight only for Him and pouring sincerity into it, His Will. Sealed with prayers for peace, love and mercy, for the faithfuls, aminn!  

Matan Arba'in Hadith: Second Hadith II

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

continue...

Thanks to You dear Allah, we had safely finished services at Your noble house of worship. Now we will continue with the explanation of the hadith, may He permits it.

The faith of faithful servants of Allah is through the faith toward Him, faith toward His angels, His revelations and scriptures, His messengers, the Resurrection and the evil and goodness that happens in this Universe is through His divine predestination. I have two comments which sparks in my mind. 

The first one regarding the conspiracies concerning certain groups of human-being. I don't believe these. But I believe that there are Haqq (Truth) and baathil (evil). He is the Truth and evil will be vanquished by Him who is the Holy Lord of the Universe! Evil is nothing but just the test for our faith as His slaves and servants. He had revealed to us what He wants us to know so we do not have to believe in man-made conspiracies and fully relying on theories. I learned about theories and epistemology but it is different from the learning of faith and the revelation.

I heard many conspiracy theories in few blogs written in Malay or those forwarded by an Arab speaker from Egypt. I know that book which talks about anti-Christ and others. I also heard few juniors talking about these. I don't take them seriously and it is just a waste of time. I am tired of those things. We have our own sources for that so we don't need any additions on the faith source from nonsense sources.

We faithful Muslims do not dominate the world because the world does not belong to us. He is the One who possess everything! He has revealed us with His scriptures to spread mercy and amity. What is His mercy? It is His teachings, His law, and it proves His love to us. Wars, greed, and evil happened in human history had tarnished our understanding around. 

The root for all of these is ignorance. Theories of dominion for certain race belongs to Europeans of colonial period with their Orientalism branch of study. Some of us think that it is not good for us to follow their footsteps, they are colonialists, they are evil plundering others, and whatsoever... But we without realizing ourselves had fallen into the same thinking as them when we accept those conspiracies. Our jihad is through His Wisdom, Mercy and Love. I don't hate Europeans, Americans nor any race or nation. I don't believe in race superiority. I only believe in His Dominion, Superiority and His Law.

Second thing that I wanted to comment regarding this explanation about pillar of faith in general is that... Through my understanding on what I had heard from different teachers in learning traditions in mosques, it is also from my experience, not many of us are aware of our own pillars of faith with this same question asked by the archangel Gabriel peace be upon him. I had asked many people including my family members, my dad and my sisters, some of my friends or people around who profess that they are Muslims. I am so sad, when they just keep their silence. However, when it comes to conspiracy theories, illuminati, and other nonsense theories which came out from the so-called American or Europeans' head, they are so keen about it and could further elaborate with racial superiority over the others. Even if what is theorized coincidentally comes true, I would never submit myself to that. I am only submitting myself to His divine predestination just like our noble brother and a good example, Hassan al-Banna may Allah bless his soul. Those theories are not from valid revelation in Quran. If the Resurrection will happen, then it will certainly happen. It is His will. We will die, and it is the haqiqat (fact, truth). This life is not true but just a dream. 

In this particular hadith, the God has classified Islam with three classifications which are the faith, the practices, and the sincerity. In the pillar of faith, regarding the divine predestination we have the sayings of ahlul haqq (the truth thinkers): "everything that exists in this Universe is organized by Him. He organizes the creations of the creatures according to their nature and environment that we can see today." 

The divine predestination is subbed to four branches:    

1. The predestination and the measurements of Allah. Says the prophet may Allah be in contact with him, which means, "nothing would be destructed but only being destructed according to their nature and environment which fit to them. Conspiracy theories are just a waste of time to ponder on. It just deflect us from the learning to know Him and to see His noble appearance in the hereafter. 

2. The predestination of everything is written in the Guarded Tablet. He is the One who possess the right to change everything written in the Tablet according to His will and pleasure. Nobody has the right to do that, even those conspirators have no rights and no reach to that! When we supplicate to Him, we are begging Him to change the predestination and He would change it through His Will and Mercy. He already knows that we are going to supplicate and pray to Him. It's not like when we think that we would be in the hell, then we do not have any effort to please Him. He is listening to His servants and slaves prayers. Everything is in His wisdom.    

3. The predestination in the womb of mothers as the discussion in the fourth hadith. 

4. The destiny takes place and time as in His wisdom without any speed or any delay. It takes place just in time and place according to the earthly concept. He is the One who decides on goodness or evil to take place. Says the God: "Say (dear Muhammad), I seek refuge in the Lord of the dawn, from the evil of what has been created." When He loves His servants and slaves, He will never let anything to harm His servants and slaves before the time to come. In a hadith reported, it says that those who did charity with sincerity and linking the connection of mercy to other creatures of the God, he will never face evil death but only facing happiness during his time of death. In another hadith, it says that bad omen and supplications are filling the heaven but the supplications of the servants and slaves of the God will overturn and defeating the bad omen before they descend.        

Say the ahlul qadariyyah (fatalism thinkers): "indeed nothing is destined by the God before its existence. The God knows not about the destiny of the creation before its existence but only after the creation. Say the neo-fatalism thinkers, "every goodness comes from the God but the evil comes from others." In a saying, it says that fatalism thinkers are the Zoroastrians in the era of Muhammad may Allah be in connection with him.

Say the ahlut thaniah (dualism thinkers): "goodness come from the act of the light, and evil is from the act of the darkness."

And then, asked the archangel Gabriel peace be upon him, "tell me about Ihsan..." It emphasizes the sincerity and the heart during the acts of worship. For example, when we perform salaat, what is the state of our heart? Whether we are concentrating in our prayers in the salaat? Whether we really worshiping Him with all of our heart and begging Him for forgiveness? 

And asked the archangel Gabriel peace be upon him, "tell me about the Time..." The prophet knows not about the Time but it is the truth and the fact that will happen. The specific Time is in His wisdom. Only He knows it better. Nobody even knows the exact age of the Universe and the earth. Even if the measurement is done according to mathematical and astronomical measures, it is not a must to be a faith for us. 

In Hindu-Buddhism tradition, those who do astronomy are called as Jotesh. Our cousins, the Chaldeans are also good with these kind of ilmu falaq nujum mak nenek nih. Most of them are Christians who may also speak Arabic or Greek and some are Muslims now. I have few notes regarding traditional astrological knowledge like Suryasiddhanta that I learned during the time of being a rebel and an ignorant child. But I don't read or calculate these things anymore for example, to predict the fortunate time to travel around according to suriya (sun) and chandra (moon) and auspicious time or hours to go out from the exam hall, as it is speculating. It is haram and I am not good in maths anyway. I had got my maths exercise books being thrown out by teachers from classes, well english too. I was not a well-known school student, hahaha. 

Now, I only believe in Allah 'Azza wa Jalla as my Protector with prayers and supplications. Calculating these things just making me more worried about the future that only He knows and creating hell for myself. I remember when I calculated every seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months to reach the time when I am going to be released from three months National Service. I was a 17 years old boy at that time, and that's silly because I feel like banging my head at the edge of the bed in the camp, hahahaa. I hate growing old, my sin is growing too.

About the signs of the Time that will come. I am not going to put it here. It is the fact for the believers where we are waiting for it no matter alive or passed away. No need to worry about the Time, but we need to worry on how could we benefit our limited time space for Him before the particular Time to come? From this hadith, important thing for us to take note is that, this is how we define our faith or deen (religion) and practices as faithful servants of Allah.

In a report for our musing in relation to iman and 'amal. One day comes a man to see our honorable Imam, Ahmad bin Hanbal. He asked him: "dear son of Hanbal, teach me a lesson for me to take heed on!" 

Says Imam Ahmad: "If you admit that there is the One who gives you sustenance, why do you have to be sad? If the hell exists, then why do you commit evil and vices? If there are questions of Munkar and Nakir, why human-being are created? If this world in fact will perish, then why are you here? If everyone will be investigated during the Resurrection, then why are we piling properties without being spent? If everything that happens is according to His law and predestined, why are you afraid?"

I apologize if there is any mistake. It is my weakness as I am just a poor meaningless servant. Only Allah is the Perfect and the Affluent one. Any correction, please forward it to me. I love those who help me and always praying for everyone who are merciful toward me and others. Thank you. This is just a humble service for society and sharing for beloved brothers and sisters. I have nothing to offer....
    
Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad, wa 'ala aali Muhammad. Ka-maa sallai-ta 'ala Ibraahim, wa 'ala aali Ibraahim. Allahumma baarik 'ala Muhammad wa 'alaa aali Muhammad. Ka-maa baarak-ta 'ala aali Ibraahim wa 'ala aali Ibraahim. Fil'aalameena inna-ka hameedum-majeed! 

Dear the God our Lord, please be in contact with our prophet Muhammad s.a.w. and his family and nations. As You had been in contact with our father Abraham, peace be upon him and his family. Deal God please bless our prophet Muhammad s.a.w and his family. As You had blessed our father Abraham, peace be upon him and his family. Indeed, You are the Holiest who deserves glory!!! Sealed with prayers for peace, mercy, and love for beloved brothers and sisters in faith, Allah bless, aamin! 

Revision: Five Pillars of Islam

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

Being a muslim for a life long, had we ever think of stating down again what are the proofs for us to be a muslim as a revision, dear brethren in faith? We are recognized as muslims with these five standards concluded in the pillars of Islam. It differentiate us from people of different faiths. These pillars of Islam is actually inter-connected with pillars of faith. When one is broken in the pillars of Islam, our faith in the pillars of faith for the day would also be incomplete so we really have to be careful, beloved brethren!

1. Proclamation of faith in the God and prophet Muhammad (saw) as His appointed messenger. The proclamation is done orally, verbally, and displayed through acts whether we are in public or alone. We testify that there is no gods but only the God, and we testify that Muhammad (saw) is His servant and His messenger! This is not only a testimony for a newly revert muslim but for everyone who calls themselves muslim. Why? We have the second pillar as well.

2. Five times daily salaat (prayer services). Salaat means that we are in contact with the Lord our Creator. He had prescribed for us the five times daily prayer services and it is obligatory to every muslim no matter male or female, and those who are able without any trouble must perform it. In salaat we have two tasyahuds (testimonial postures) where we recite the proclamation of faith. So, when we leave even one of obligatory salaat, our faith is not complete and we are not even counted as a faithful muslim. This is the barometer for our iman, brothers. Not at our ID card nor our muslim sounding name no not even genetically inherited from a father to his son. It is inherited through the teachings of Quran and upbringing according to Sunnah.

3. Fasting a full month in Ramadhan for every muslim who are able and without any illness. Ramadhan is a month prescribed by the God as a training for faithful servants of Him. He also opened up His grace and mercy to every creatures. It is a month full of opportunity for blessings and a faithful servant would take every opportunity in this holy month to please Him. When a muslim who are healthy and facing no trouble skip the fast in this month, he is not a faithful servant and only a muslim by name.

4. Zakaat, it means purification of property because some tiny portion in our property are not ours but belongs to others and we clean it in order to give justice to other brethren. There are eight asnaafs (rightful type of people) who could receive the zakaat. It is almost equivalent to tithe in Catholic church in europe and I don't know whether Catholic church still practice tithe since 17th C French Revolution due to that priests had misused their position to steal tithe from the public and many other misunderstandings happened where they had burdened paupers to pay tithe while tithe is meant for the paupers. We have many kinds of zakaat including the zakaat of saving account and zakaat fitrah that we pay during ramadhan for our household. Be careful brothers and sisters please check with zakaat centers at your neighborhood or offices. We still remember on a group of apostates who refuse to pay the zakaat during the era of our first caliph, Abu Bakr as-Siddiq.

5. Hajj to Mecca. Hajj is a pilgrimage to holy Mecca for every muslim who possess ability to access the city. It is only for once in a lifetime. It is not a mere travel but a travel to perform manasik (rituals) of our forefathers and services to the Lord. The calling of patriarch Abraham for the service is announced by the Lord in glorious Quran.

These are the barometer for our iman. We are not really faithful by just being a child in a muslim family. I had experienced that. I believe many others are the same. There are so many things that we didn't get to know when we do not even bother to access the Quran and Sunnah.  Always revise basic things so that we would get to step into another level.

Sealed with prayers for peace and love to every creature of the Lord, may the Lord strengthen my faith to Him and also the faith of my beloved brothers and sisters in faith, amin!

Iman in prophets and messengers of Allah

Assalaamu'alaikum wa Rahmatullah!

Iman or faith in the prophets and messengers of the God is among the conclusion in our pillars of faith. In arabic, prophet is called as nabi. While for the messenger of the Lord, we call it as rasul.

A prophet basically means someone who has the ability to see or perceive whatever behind the metaphysical boundary of other fellow human-being. He is a person who has the connection or contacts with other supernatural entity. In english, the translation for nabi is prophet.  

In Islam, prophet terminologically means a man who receives the revelation from the God but was ordered to practice what had been revealed among their family members, clan, and tribe. They were not ordered to spread the teaching to other nations or the whole world.

Some people might call these kind of people as sages or teachers. As for the hindus and the buddhist, they are calling these kind of people as the teachers or sages who talked or inspired by the devas (gods and angels). For example they have maharishi Vaalmiki who composed the Ramayanna Kawiyam. 

For Siddhartha Gautama who had challenged the authority of Brahmannau (Brahmins) who generally controlled the ritual life of the people around the Ariya Varttam and Indus civilization during his enlightment period. As in Buddhism, Buddha has another title which is khuru (guru) which means someone who tries to enlight others in the darkness after they received enlightment. The God is out of any mention by Buddhists but only on morality. Siddharth Gautama only reached buddhahood or enlightment after a long tapa (meditation) under a Bodhi tree.

There are many teachers, rishis (sages), saints in Hinduism. So does Buddhism where there are many gurus and buddhas but Buddhism is considered as anastika (agnostic) Hinduism. And Hinduism means anything that emerges from Indus civilization whether it is in the form of culture, customs, beliefs, philosophies and others. Before Buddhism, there was actually another teaching known as Jaina taught by a person whose name is Mahavira. Enough said about the comparison on what I understood from my experience as a confused young man.

In the meanwhile, rasul in Islam means a man who receives revelation from the God but was ordered to universally convey the teachings of the God to the whole nations and the world for a certain period or era so that everybody receives the message from Him. In Islam, there are men who are just a prophet but not a messenger of the God and there are also a man who holds these two titles like where they were a prophet and also a messenger of the God.

Sometimes brethren in humanity, we may hear that muslims including myself calling the holy prophet Muhammad (saw) as rasulullah. It means that he is the messenger of the God. He is the prophet and the messenger of the God for this period and era which is known as the period or era of near resurrection. The teachings transmitted through him will be valid from the time he received gradual revelations from the God period until the resurrection happens according to the prophecy in our scripture which is the noble Quran. That is also why he is called as the seal of the nubuwwah (prophethood). The period of near resurrection is actually marked just after the era of prophet Isa (as).

We do not only believe in the prophethood of Muhammad (saw). We believe in others' prophethood as well. Some of them are from the children of Israel while others are from the ancient Arab tribes and nations. As a Muslim, how many prophets and messengers of the God that I need to at least know and recognize? I need to at least know about 25 prophets and messengers. These 25 people are in the same time, a prophet and also a messenger of the God. These names of prophets and messengers of the God are also good names for a muslim's sons.

1. Adam 2. Idris (Enoch) 3. Nuh (Noah) 4. Hud 5. Saleh 6. Ibrahim (Abraham) 7. Lut (Lot) 8. Isma'il (Ishmael) 9. Ishaq (Isaac) 10. Ya'akob (Jacob) 11. Yusuf (Joseph) 12. Ayyub (Job) 13. Zulkifli 14. Syu'aib (Jethro) 15. Musa (Moses) 16. Harun (Aaron) 17. Dawud (David) 18. Sulayman (Solomon) 19. Ilyas (Elijah) 20. Ilyasa' (Elisha') 21. Yunus (Jonah) 22. Zakaria (Zechariah) 23. Yahya (John) 24. 'Isa (Jesus) 25. Muhammad (saw).  

These 25 prophets and messengers of the God are the ones that we have faith in according to our articles of faith in the pillars of faith. Others are only prophets of the God which their names are not mentioned in the Quran but they were also prophets of the God to their tribes and nation during their era and period of time.

One thing that I would like to mention here. Not all in the 25 prophets and messengers of the God in the list displayed here are from the children of Israel. From Adam (as) to Nuh (as), these prophets have no racial or tribal identification. Nuh was the father of the Semites. Hud and Saleh are both of ancient Arab tribes and classified under Semitic branch of people. They are not Israelites. Hud was a prophet and messenger of the God to the 'Ads whom are an Arabian tribes in southern Arabia. While Saleh was ordained by the God to the Tsamud in northern part of Arabian peninsula. Syu'aib was from ancient Arab nation called classified as the Levants. All of these prophets and messengers of the God are the Semites but I am not sure about Ayyub because some mufassirin (commentators) said that he is the father of the Romans.

Once upon a time during my childhood time, I love to read the translation of Qisasul Anbiyaa' (the stories of prophets) and I still remember some of the stories. Later when I was sent to Perlis and feeling angry with my family for sending me away that I began to approach jataka tales learning about the avataram (incarnations) of the Buddha before he ends his samsara cycle, lectures about the teachings from phra acharn (teachers), and phra phor (fathers) to forget my sadness because I was not so close to relatives there.  So, I tried to find other alternatives and those who could accept me without criticizing me for my pathetic self because folks in the village have this attitude where they could be destructive when they have evil intention to anyone, they would try to harm others even with their words and I was just a 13 years old lil' kid.

Then I also began to be exposed to Advaita teachings and philosophies when I was in upper six because I had contact with Indian students as the majority of my classmates were hindus but at that time I had already return to the religion and the faith of our fathers, Islam. I learned many things from the hajj rituals, praise be only to Allah, my dear Lord!!!!

May Allah forgives us our sin. May He place our souls among the souls of the faithful servants and fearful to Him. I am looking to see other servants of the God who sacrificed for His sake with love and peace. May He accept our humble du'as, aaamin!!