Hari Raya in Kampung 2012

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

Fajar time in Muzaffar Shah Masjid of Sungai Petani town, Kedah state

Every year we must be heading toward the north for the Hari Raya or 'Aidulfitri celebration. It is like some kind of a must or a tradition. Actually this northern heading trend had began since I was a little boy in the 90's. I was born in Sungai Petani in Central Kedah state of northern Malaysia. I don't really like returning there with family but I used to travel alone by myself without my family know where I went to in few stages of my life, haha. I just feel comfortable traveling alone and I love to walk and not traveling in a car. I don't have to burden others nor do I have to hear brawls along the journey. I can also observe people around me. My second elder sister who is a fan of Ustad Zahazan might judge me as a selfish person as I tend to be more individualistic. I don't know that being individualistic to avoid burdening or annoying others is considered as a selfish trait, hahaha. I am not a talkative person but sometimes if I have to voice up, I would do so.  

As far as I could remember, when our maternal grandparents were still around we would return to their house in Kampung Ulu Pauh in the nearby Perlis state. My grandma would wait for us at the door or maybe when they fell asleep late at night as the journey in 90's is far longer than nowadays, we would knock the door. But after they passed away, we just return to our stations in Penang island or in Sungai Petani which is our last fort in the state. My third elder sister who married in Thailand had also conducted a proper nikah again at our home after I threatened her and her husband! So she also took the opportunity to conduct her wedding reception at the hotel nearby our old house in Sungai Petani town. I don't normally like to meet people around but at that event I took the opportunity to know the old friends of my father and also to get closer with my paternal relatives. Many of my paternal relatives, I don't really know and I feel not close to them as compared to my maternal relatives. We always return to maternal grandparents house without fail when they're alive so those siblings of my mother or her cousins are also known to us though not so close. 

I get to know a paternal nephew more closely. His name is Amir just like my colleague and close friend's name during my undergraduate. He is the son of my cousin sister known as Zaynab and of the same age with my eldest sister. Zaynab's mother is the eldest sister of my father known as Hawa (Eva). She passed away due to stroke and hypertension. This auntie had once lives in Singapore with her husband and children (my cousins) but they went back to Kedah state after few problems there. Hawa's husband and the maternal grandpa of Amir known as Yusuf passed away because of stressful life in the village as he's not familiar with village style of life. Amir looks like a Northern Indian. I recall that I visited him before his father passed away because of drug addiction, he still has hair on his head and quite fair. But when I saw him few years back then after his father passed away, he is already bald, darker and converted into a member of Tabligh Jama'at. He ran a char koey tieow business in Alor Setar despite of his straight A's result in O-Level. I just took his contact number and invited him to be received as a guest and a brother in faith since now he's still checking the prospect of business after his business in the town is not so well-off. For the contact, first of all, he's my nephew. Secondly, he's also a poor guy just like me and thirdly we are single, hahaha. He also know my mother's Tabligh elder brother. Who does not know him. He's a chief there in Beseri and travels a lot with the banner of Tabligh Jama'at though he looks Chinese. Even those Tabligh karkuns in Tekun hostel of USM where I recently stayed there also know him though never personally meet him. What a surprise, lol.

Other than that, I also get to know brother Zabidi, Zahari and Zain who are the sons of my father step brother from the first wife, Hassan. They live in Sik which is a bit rural so I don't get the chance to closely know them nor being close to their children who are my nephews and nieces. The other whose name is Zakaria is quite well-known to me. He was a police man in Sungai Petani town with his late wife, Khadijah. I think I need to polish again the compilation of our lineage and family tree from my father's compilation. Just to make sure that we won't lost contact or losing our identity. Many youngsters had already forgotten who they are. We are dissolved into the majority realm day by day and elders passed away so they could not tell us anything no more. Other than that is the friends of my father like our old neighbor and family. This family is also a peranakan Arab family of the past but because we're poor we are not easily being distinguished with other locals. Before my father was experienced strokes, he had also proposed me to marry the daughter of this family but I refused as I am not stable, having no possession nor having enough knowledge to teach others as a protection for them. I don't want to end up burdening others just because I wanted to follow the "trend" or not being labeled as a "gay" or no personality strength to attract girls. I found that, it is so "gay" to follow the trend for the sake of not being labeled with this and that, hehehe. Other than that, I don't like match-making! I love everything to work according to spontaneous and natural way. Before I repented I had also once thought that I would seek refuge in monastic community (being a monk) as I had already memorized few section of Buddhism monastic codes and just need to underwent initiation in proper Buddhist temple and Allah does not permit me to do so, hahaha. It makes marriage as not a big concern for me. Ow yeah, in Chinese we call the act of being a monk as 出家 chujia which means cutting ties with anything that hold us from seeking liberation or simply get the hell out of the house, hehe.              

There is no normal kueh raya (cookies) tasting at others' house and of course no duet raya for me as I am already an old kid, hehe. We can't really visit others because my father is still bed-ridden. We bring him back to Kedah right away from KL 300+ km something in my elder sister mini-van with few folded purposes where his friends in Kedah could also have the opportunity to see him. We just stayed at our old house in Sungai Petani until yesterday and we return home today just after we finish tidying everything up after my sister's wedding reception. I managed to read few books related to tasawwuf, shi'ism and shariah. I also found an interesting book about Sayyid Muhammad Naquib al-Attas thought related to educational philosophy. All of these are from hundreds of my father's book collection. I didn't get to read all of the book when I was a school kid, but now I have the time to check them all. My father also didn't read all of religious-related books. He is interested in sentimental type of literature related to his surrounding life as he was not properly educated by religious teachers after his father passed away but he respects knowledge. As for me, I was exposed to non-Muslim philosophical thinking and I am sure Imam Bin Hanbal forbids people to be involved in these matters but I can't help it. I was involved in it since I was a young kid and some of them were molded by bitter experience. I'm going to read those piles of book that I bring back.

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace and love, amin!   

Aidulfitri 1432 H Pic: Mum's Cousins

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah!

Manage to get some pics from files sent by little sister. Thanks, little sis... This pics featuring pak su Omar which is our maternal uncle. Pak su Omar is mum's cousin brother. The title pak su means little uncle because he is the youngest of his siblings. Their mothers are siblings where our grandmother is the youngest of four siblings. All of them had passed away including our beloved grandmother. 

Differently to nowadays, their family bond is quite close though they're just cousins compared to younger generations. Mum told me that their mothers would travel far from north to south or either ways in order to stay up at cousins or relatives houses just to tie kinship among generations and helps everyone up before great religious celebration. When they passed away, mum tries to revive it but I don't feel comfortable with it. The same thing goes to my sisters. Now only I believe that it is important. But maybe I am not as friendly as older generation because my life had been different from them. The same thing goes to others. I prefer to be a loner. Oh yeah, mum actually is closer to her cousins compared to her own siblings. Weird isn't it, haha.  

Left: cousin brother Zulhairi, mum, dad, pak su 'Omar

Left: lil sis, second sis, younger sis, me, third sis

In Yahya Halal Restaurant, Samnak Khan, Dannok Town, Southern Thai region. Left: Niang Ta which is pak su Omar's wife (they're cousins too), cousin brother Zulhairi, pak su Omar, taking the order is the restaurant owner, dad, little sis, younger sis.

Mak teh nord's family in Batu Maung, Pulau Pinang. From left front is cousin brother Sobhi, his wife and his daughter, cousin brother Sobri's wife and their second child, cousin sister Wani, cousin brother Deen wife 'Ashiqeen and son, cousin brother Sabri. From left behind: Pak Teh Mun (mak teh Nord's husband), pak teh Mun's mother, mak teh Nord, cousin brother Muhammad Adi, cousin brother Deen and his daughter.

Pak su Omar is the younger brother of mak teh Nord. They have other three siblings. One of them, Niang Rogiah had passed away last two years and followed by her husband in the next two months, Yazid. May the God be merciful to their souls. Both of them are good, tolerant and peaceful people. I don't have any pics of their children but I hope to keep them in this site as for me to remember them in prayers and services also to keep me track to relatives. Rogiah, Khalid, Nord, Che Nah and Omar are maternal cousins of mum. Their mother, Hasnah is a sister of my beloved grandmother, Seehah. Grandmother has four siblings whom are Mahdzoum, Zakariyya, Hasnah, and Seehah which is her. Mahdzoum is dad's mother. That makes mum and dad both cousins of mother side.  All of these generations had passed away.

Pak su Omar and Niang Ta still has other two sons whom are Zulhilmi and Zulhaikal. Both of them live in Kuala Nerang because they do not want to move out back to Jitra. Perhaps they have many friends there and that is common. We can't easily say goodbye to friends :) I was quite close to Haikal (Zulhaikal). He was so little back then when I was nine years old living in Jitra. I feel quite embarrassed to Khairi (Zulhairi) which is their elder brother though he was the same age with me. He was an intelligent boy and quite popular among girls and boys (being his companies) when we were school pupils, hahaha. He was in different class anyway. I was not well known in schools, even my class teachers don't even recognize my face not even schoolmates, like wind.

Wish cousin brother Zulhairi, a happy marriage... selamat menempuhi kehidupan bertanggungjawab, may both of you build up a peaceful house and harmonious family, granted by the God with pious children and generations, His Will. I don't think I would be there at your marriage and I would like to apologize though you may not see it here, hahaha. Just want to avoid people asking me about marriage though I am happy to hear this good news. I think that I am still young though I do not style myself according to latest trend or fashion like other young men. It's closer to the end as what is prophesied in scriptures. I don't want my generations to suffer great destruction of yomul qiyamah. Let it end with me hopefully :)

اللهم صل على حبيبنا محمد صلى الله عليه و سلَّم وعلى أهله و صحبه اجمعين... Sealed with prayers for peace, mercy, and love, amin!

Aidulfitri Mubarak 1432 H

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah!

Aidulfitri Mubarak, congratulation for those who managed to control their desire in the school of Ramadan! Let us pray may our worship bein' accepted by the God and may our practices of charity and devotion to Him remain constant in the coming year, insyaallah...

Just coming home to the hostel from our beloved state, Kedah. Mum and dad could not stand celebrating raya in the city as all of the people return home to be with their family. Our grandparents had all passed away. I sometimes think that such a custom of balik raya or returning home to our hometown is not so important for me. However, it is important for mum and dad. This raya is a bit different. All of our family members return home, including sister who works in Saudi. Not just mum and dad.

I have to help third sister with her thesis proposal. She would be busy after returning to Saudi. So, she sent me earlier to my hostel as it is difficult to get internet connection while we are off towns. I can see many changes in our state after 2-3 years. New buildings, new roads, and others. Raya is a generic term for celebration in Malay. We just call any celebration as raya. It means great day. It is a custom for Malaysian to return home during Aidulfitri or Aiduladha spending their quality holiday time getting along with family.

1st of Syawwal

We prayed in Sultan Muzaffar Syah mosque in Sungai Petani. I managed to follow mum and dad to visit sister Faridah. She is one of dad's nieces from our first grandma. She had already moved from Malacca with her husband and children since few years ago to our elders' station in Pantai Johor. It's quite complicated since those elders practiced polygamy marriage and most of them married their maternal cousins for the sake of family bond and religious purpose. They only marry people of the same caste or race according to Shafi'ie madzhab of Yemen. But that was in the past. Now, that is not effective anymore since many had moved out of their elders' stations. 

We exchanged information about our family tree line with her and she speaks in the speed of a bullet. How funny she is, loll. I get to know her son and daughters but not all since some of them are away. I hope to get to know them all but that is just a dream. We live far away and we don't always get along out of the celebration. I wanted to know more about dad's family. Most of them aren't really religious since elders passed away earlier. So, they have no proper religious nor moral education. I believe they are nice people. All of the people around the world are nice. It's just environment and destiny that molded us to be what we are today. We went to grandma (dad's mum) grave at the nearby mosque and I saw the banner indicating they are going to enlarge the mosque and moving the graves there.

2nd Syawwal

We went to mum's cousin brother. His son who is about the same age with me is going to get married in November. I can't believe that he's going to get married while he has no proper job yet. Maybe that is his destiny and I pray that he could get suitable job soon. He's a nice guy, but I am not close to him too though when we were kids we used to play around together. He was also a schoolmate when I was in Soltan Ahmad Tajuddin Primary School spending about a year there as a primary school pupil in Jitra. We are adults now, of course things would be different and I don't really spend my time with our relatives. Most of us are nomads. We moved here and there for study purpose, making a living, and others.

We spend a night at their house before going to Thailand in the day after. Second sister never enter Thailand in her whole life so she insisted to go there and trying Thai authentic cuisines. I had already been there with third sister for her hidden marriage, hehehe. We have to pretend that we don't know about the place though we had already been there since her proper ceremony is not done yet. It's just a little cowboy town, called Baan Daannok Samnak Khan after the passport control with halal restaurants but the most popular halal restaurant there was closed since the lady owner went home until the end of the 6th Syawwal fasting. So we just randomly going to a Tabligh owner restaurant called Yahya. The most scary part for us is that we crossed the border without any passport or grant for the car. If anyone wanted to enter Thailand from Malaysia, make sure to bring the grant of the car. I would next time always bring my passport if I enter places near Thai border. Those in Thai border control of Kwan Mai Dam or Bukit Kayu Hitam are quite negotiable and polite compared to those counterparts at Singapore.

Then, they went to an alley buying cheap stuffs. We can easily get cheap stuffs which looks the same like original ones there. I didn't buy anything since I am a student. Spending must be discreetly controlled. We returned home to our side at night before 20:00 since the border will be closed at 24:00. Many cars at the border. People as far as Singapore went there to have fun. It includes fun in the 'other way.' 

3rd Syawwal

I just followed third sister to Sungai Petani to our old house there after we reached Jitra. Mum and dad still maintain that house for everyone who have the need to return north to be stationed there or loading stuffs. That's why they do not want to sell it. I stayed there a night with third sister and helping her with her thesis proposal. She only has two weeks to finish everything and her supervisor is so irresponsible. I didn't know that she was doing her thesis proposal, so I just treat her assignment as a mere report. I plan that I wanted to help her out today. She has to return to Kuala Lumpur getting her second supervisor opinion and she also has to prepare returning to Saudi. Her leave is almost done. Please help me, brethren passing by with your prayers may I finish helping out my sister with her thesis proposal and finishing my own thesis by time. Thank you.

I wish everyone well-being and spirit of devotion to Him. It does not matter what faith people are, I don't care. May we learn everything which could lead us to Him and may He helps us purifying our soul. I wish everyone especially my beloved compatriot سْلامَت مِثَمْبوت هارِي رايَ عيدُالفطرِي مَعَفْ ظاهِر باطِن!

Sealed with salawat an-nabi and prayers for peace, mercy, and love, amin!