If the Doors are Locked

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

Long time haven't check this site. I went for a training at the KL Airport Services Sdn. Bhd. for two weeks before resigning because I found that I have problem with the security pass. It is quite complicated because I worked in the airport in 2005 and I quit from the service with the department there without returning my security pass to the security department. I just sent everything including the security pass to my employer at the Malaysian Airport Berhad building.  They did not help me but maybe dumping everything because they do not like our colleagues. Let me explain clearly so everyone know what happened in 2005-2006 at some department in KLIA. Well, not only some but from every departments, haha...

I was a Mandarin Chinese translator and interpreter before being a student in the Universiti Sains Malaysia (USM) as respected brothers and sisters had seen in few posts earlier. Most of my colleagues which formed the group of translators there were of Chinese descent and they are non-Muslims. Only I am a Muslim and a "non-Chinese" ethnic in the group but because I did not mingle with those officers so they assumed that I am a Chinese and a non-Muslim.  Well, actually tried to talk with them but they seem like cocky so I just stay in the boundary that I had.

I always think it is weird for people to think that I look like a Chinese. I am more to a Central Asian in my appearance than to Oriental looking. I also speak in Northern Malay dialect fluently and Southern Thai language. Even I know how to curse people in both of the languages, hehe. That is the specialty of people who are born in the Northern Malayan states. 

When we finished our term, those silly workers in the department were so happy because they were afraid that we would be competing with them if we filled the SPA8 form to be permanent worker. For me, I have the STPM (A-Level) certificate which would elevate me to higher office if I apply for the permanent position. One of my colleague, Mr. Saw applied for the permanent position but at that time he was 24 years old and already with a Business Management degree from the Universiti Malaya. He was elevated to the M34 position in government service and sent to the federal territory office. Lucky him, haha... I did not know that I could still continue my study even when working as a government officer so I accepted the offer to further for a bachelor degree in humanity department at the school of translation and interpretation in the Universiti Sains Malaysia. Mr. Saw had tried to persuade me to be a co-partner with him but I was not smart enough at that time. I thought that education matters since I had seen those O-Level "officers" behave like immature little kids. Well, yeah they joined the department just after schooling times because their parents work there. Kabel banyak dema itu, so they could secure a job... Tanya sana itu saya punya bapa, tanya sini itu saya punya mak cik, hehe...

Back to the quitting job story, I was kicked to several places just because of the security pass issue. The old office that housed me as their employer said that the administration system there was changed few years ago and the old chief is now retired. I would have to go to the federal territory and asking for the letter of resignation because I left the department without any resignation letter. Well, I did not know about that. I was 19 years old at that time. Nobody gives me any training about the job and my rights as an employee. It is not easy to go though all the bureaucracy in the Ministry of Home Affairs so I just wrote the letter of resignation and apologized to the company for their willingness to hire me though for only two weeks and without any payment. Maybe I am not lucky, that's all. Just after I quit I was so depressed because I think that I can not move on with life like this. My father is still there, a paralyzed stroke person could be in that condition for several years to go. It is painful not only to him but also to those besides him, i.e me and my mother. I also have to sacrifice myself though I am a male who supposed to go to work and maintaining the family. 

Owh yeah, before I went to the job offer as the Customer Service Agent at the airport services office, I applied for steward job in a hotel and was called for interview but my elder sister said that it is too low for me. Washing the dishes is not suitable to an undergraduate. Then, what should I do? I actually did not care about that because I simply wanted to maintain a "healthy life". Being jobless actually is not healthy because we have no mobility and it is almost no different to those in the dark alley looking for some money to move on. When we do not go to work, many people say things to us because they do not analyze the factors that make an undergraduate have got no job. Sometimes, it depends on our luck too and nobody wants to know the reasons when we are interviewed because they just wanted to know whether we are useful for the company or not. They should not boast to people simply because they have secured a job and talking like there is no Supreme Lord or the God. 

One of my acquaintance had tried to help me in term of financial but I refused. I just told him to make some donation around or to anyone that he see supposed to be helped and just imagine that he is donating to me. Right now, I am jobless again and trying to study Usuluddin, Sharia, Arabic and Persian with materials that I already have. Besides I am also learning the tenets of Shi'a Muslim belief and practices but not because I am interested to be a Shi'a Muslim. I am a very loyal Sunnah Muslim and a proud Hashemite where I keep the dignity of our larger clan for prophet Muhammad s.a.w as our earthly leader.

It is simply as a sign of good will to them as a brother in Islam and humanity.  I do not like to entertain the blogs written with hatred posts to others because I believe that Allah the Highest is protecting His Divine Path. It is not the job of human-being to act like a false god. Writing or talking to approve or to disprove others are not the way to unite people. It is just a way to show off and getting attention so that we would be recognized as scholar though people would say, maa'shaAllah... subhanAllah... you're right brother... you're right sister.... This is what has been mentioned in the al-Ghazali's literature known by the title, Ihya' 'Ulumuddin as lying in the name of the God. It is also a breach of Covenant with the God where ones speaking the Name of the God in vanity.

At this time I suppose to walk to the mosque and bringing with me my Quran. I try to memorize the Quran again and afraid that some surats that I had memorized will be erased from my heart. If I can not be a practicing missionary, I could still be a qadhi or a decision-maker. Maybe there would be some silver lining for me in the future only the God knows.

It reminds me to this line of poem by an honorable Yemenite Jewish Rabbi, Maran Shalom Shabazi in Judeo-Babylon Aramaic and Yemenite Arabic though he is a non-Muslim which means: "If the doors of the fortunate is locked to you, but the doors of the Heaven is always open. The Creator reigns Supreme and is higher than the angels and all with His wind will rise"... It means if there is no mercy left in this world, but the Lord is still there observing us....

Maybe I should write again this poem for fun and thank you for viewing. I am sorry if I did not respond to some emails but I appreciate my brothers and sisters love here, hehe : )

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace and love, amin!