Mawlid al-Rasul Eve 2013

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

Diary

My paternal cousin sister, Zaynab came by since yesterday with her youngest son, Hafiz and her daughter, Zaitoon. They came from Alor Setar. My father had once lived with his eldest sister from the same mother, Hawa (Eva) and her husband, Yousuf (Joseph) in Singapore. Zaynab is one of their daughter. Uncle Yousuf is also a relative to both my father and my aunt from their paternal side. They returned to Kedah state just before the partition of Singapore from Malaysian federation states because the living cost there was rising. I never had the chance to meet uncle Yousuf because he passed away just after he returned to Kedah, but I had few times met aunt Hawa where she lived in Kodiang. She passed away in Alor Setar and was buried in Kodiang. Yesterday morning, Hafiz had an interview as a security police at the Post Training Center in Bangi. He just stayed in my room these two days, haha. His elder brother, Amir was the one who looks like a Hindustani guy. That was what my elder sister said because they are of the same age and now he is a common Tabligh member constantly with bald head. We're not so close as we live far from each other. My father and mother perhaps are familiar with these cousins.   

This evening, my sister suddenly knocked my room and asked me to accompany her to show Hafiz around as my mother brought sister Zaynab to our jami' mosque. I checked the time and it was 20:00. They would have to rush to the bus station at 22:00. However, my little sister still insist because she wanted to entertain the guest nephew and there is nothing to be cooked at home. That guy might feel hungry but perhaps shy. It was raining so heavily and I was lazy to drive. My driving skill is so bad. So, we didn't get to treat Hafiz anything. Poor guy, maybe he just eat the bread that his mother bought. It is their first time here in central area. When sister Zaynab called us, I just rushed my way to return home and sending Hafiz to the station. Then my sister said she is hungry so we went to Cyberjaya, hahahaha... I don't know what to eat there, so I had a bowl of Japanese noodle while my little sister tried a chicken curry rice as she is not a vegetarian at Tokio Cafe... Quite expensive but that would be only once for this year and perhaps other years that we would try the food there again....

Yesterday, my father was admitted to the Serdang Hospital emergency ward for observation. I don't know whether he has constipation problem or because of drug poisoning. He keeps vomiting and sleepless. He can't tell us what is happening to him as his nerves problem makes him mute. I am actually very sad but I can't express my emotion because so many sad things happen around me. It makes me almost emotionless. I waited in the observation ward from 11:00 to 16:45. The doctors there had injected his skin to take his blood and I felt like kicking their face because my father ate nothing. How could his body produce blood and hemoglobin???! 

Then I changed his diaper myself as we always do that at home. One of a kind nurse came and helped me when she saw me struggling to help my father while other nurses there are busy chatting with each other on how painful their life working in the "hospital". They had chosen to be nurses and expecting their life to be like in paradise? How could that possible??? This is what we call as selfish. We know that nurses are also human. But the nature of their job is the nature of the job in disaster. Why they chose to be nurses in the first place if they do not want to dip their selves into the mess? Easy money? Because it is safer to work with the government? Where is luminosity of mind among human-being? I learned about Bodhicittam (enlightened mind) or Pabhassaracittam (luminous mind) according to both traditions of Buddhism. But I don't understand why most "Muslims" who would definitely being entered into the paradise although committing sins do not have this thinking of "philosophical" infidels?

What happen say if these nurses see the Palestinian Arabs with blue eyes who were bombed by Israel in the hospital? Perhaps they would cry and lamenting on behalf of their beautiful poor brothers and sisters in Islam. But what about us in the hospital? The ordinary patients who have no significance? Those around us? Aren't we Muslims too? Why can't people regard everyone who are closer to them regardless background as their brothers and sisters in Islam? This is what disgusts me... Hypocrisy and double standard is all around...

Wishing those who celebrate the Mawlid al-Rasul a nice day. I guess my mother and second sister would join procession or activities at the mosque or musalla tomorrow but I am not joining them. I would bring the celebration to Friday and celebrating the noble prophet Muhammad s.a.w "alone" in the mosque before the Friday prayer service.

Allahumma salli 'alaa Muhammad wa 'ala aali Muhammad... 

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace and love, amin!