Since the past two days, I had been very busy writing and printing out my resume to find job. I went out and thinking so many times to do some migrant workers' job at the shopping complex where it also touches things like can I pray peacefully at the time I work like this or is it worth for me to do such jobs when I get only little payment for being humans' slave? Actually I was hit with the fear that I could not maintain my family house and I am the only son at home. I tried to practice meditation and all sort of things that I had learned from my previous experience but once I see my father face I began to feel so scared. I could say that my father had done everything he can to survive and maintaining his family. Though many people looked down upon him, I actually look at him with high esteem. He is way better than me because he could survive. I am also afraid and thinking about my mother. I wish that she would be happy and healthy.
I had browsed again the schools in Middle East such as in Yemen or Saudi Arabia which taught Quran and the Sharia but now I am already 26. In few weeks I would turn to be a 27 years old man. I am not a little kid anymore. And still I am penniless with no property of my own and with no career. I am only sustained with the mercy of my family members and of course with Allah's mercy. I think that maybe it would be too late for me. I made the decision to shut down my social network account because I don't think that I could get help from any of friends out there. It would be just enough for me to depend only on Allah. Maybe people might think that I am crazy but I have had enough with this world. I don't mind people wanted to say that I am more inclined to rahbaniyyat (monkhood) which is forbidden in our religion. I did not ask for this but it still happens as I cannot get any help from people around. They do not understand me nor do I understand them. Urm, trying to hold my dropping tears. Please be strong...!!!
Anyway, I don't think that I could return to proper Sharia studies and studying Quran in proper environment. Maybe I would continue studying it under the ground and praying for Allah to help me by guiding me with ruhul qudus (holy spirit) and shun away all the satans from me as to protect the Quran that I am bearing. I try to frame the methods that I had used when I memorized the 19th part of the Quran with some help from syllabus from the net. I had lost almost all the methods due to the struggle with worldly affairs. I could just remember the prayers for memorization, the litany that I learned from teachers and chanting its meaning by heart in several languages. Right now, I keep an exercise book with me to jot down any verses that come across my head whenever it is and checking it again with my mushaf. It is almost the same method that I found in a site where I copied these down for myself.
Memorizing Quran has a process which is broken into three categories which are:
1. New lesson
2. New memorization
3. Old memorization
It is very important to comprehend that memorizing Quran for the long term is a process and it takes close to a month. One we memorize the verse, it would not be solid until we repeat it a number of times until it enters the deeper part of our brain.
Beginning New Lesson
If we are serious about memorizing, try to follow these steps exactly:
1. Read the first verse 10 times while looking in from the top.
2. Now read the same verse 10 times without looking at it until we can recite it without any mistakes.
3. Begin connecting the verses. Recite the first and second verses together without looking in and without mistakes.
4. Keep connecting the verse on the page. Each time we connect the new verse, go back to the top of the page and read till the verse that we have memorized.
5. When we reach the last verse, we should recite the whole page from the top without looking and without any mistakes.
6. Recite the page from memory to someone. We should have no mistakes.
7. We should repeat the above steps as needed to have a perfect page memorized.
This the amount of the Quran which we have memorized in the last 30 days. This part is to be taken seriously as it will determine if the verse we memorized will be solid for our life or not. Retaining and reviewing the Quran is a 25 day process. After those 25 days, reviewing once a month will suffice. This will lead to the old memorization which will be discussed.
1. Whatever we review in this section, we must recite it to someone who has either memorized the verse or is well-versed in reading the Quran.
2. If we have memorized five pages in the last five days, we must recite them to ourselves until we do not make any error. Then find a teacher and recite it to him.
3. At this point on, whatever we memorize, it must be recited daily. It means reviewed to ourselves without mistakes and recited to someone else.
4. If for some reason we did not review our "new memorization" for the day, then do not memorize new verse. We are pouring water into a cup with a hole. Each day we do not review new memorization, we are making the hole in our cup bigger and bigger until we would not remember anything. If we do not review a page for seven days consecutively, go back to the new lesson and re-memorize the page.
5. It sounds redundant because there lies the importance on how much we need to review new memorization. It will make or break our memorization.6. If we memorize a page a day, we will finish a part in 20 days. After these 20 days, take extra five days to review whole part with someone proficient.
7. The part memorized will now be considered part of our "old memorization".
This is anything we have reviewed for at least 25 days consecutively. The amount we review depends on how much Quran we have memorized. Once we have memorized the Quran, new lessons and new memorizations will come to a halt. And we will be left with the old memorization. This will continue for the rest of our lives till death do us part.
A. Daily Review
1. Between 1-3rd part, we should review five pages daily.
2. Between 4-7 part, we should review 10 pages which equals half the part daily.
3. Between 7-15 part, we should review 20 pages which equals to a part daily.
4. Between 15-20 part, we should review 30 pages which equals 1.5 part daily.
5. Between 20-30 part, we should review 60 pages which equals two parts daily.
B. Read the part to ourselves then recite to a teacher or another memorizer.
This process will have to continue for the rest of our life.
C. In the "old memorization", we should not get more than four mistakes, or four stutters in a part.
A mistake classifies as reading something incorrectly and not being able to correct it. A stutter classifies reading something incorrectly, being sent back a few verses to correct it and finally reading it correctly. At the same time, we should be making more than one mistake or one stutter for every five pages we read.
When we found a verse to be hard, we would look into the mushaf and write it somewhere. At times we would also listen to recitations to ease the memorization. Sometimes looking in and repeating it would not make the verse stick, so do whatever it takes to memorize it.
If we falter somewhat in the old memorization, it is ok. Just do not miss two or three days at once. Reading Quran is a lifetime endeavor. Reviewing is more important than memorizing. Focus on perfecting our "new lesson" and "new memorization". If we feel some part is not strong, give preference to review that part rather than memorizing something new. Read something everyday. Not only should we do this as a student of memorization, but it should be our habit as Muslims. Take out some time to read and reflect on a few verses daily.
Wishing Allah helps me with this task and makes everything goes well. This life surely is not going on smoothly because nobody guides me or showing me what should I be. It was You who is the One that decides what am I going to be. I know I was not a good student nor excel well in any field that I studied. I keep hearing comments and critics from people around but nobody criticize their selves because they think that everything that they get is by their own effort without the intervention of the Divine Sustainer (luck). I pray that at least let the Quran being my company and my entertainer while waiting for the Resurrection the one which would be my savior in His promised Day if I have no possession in this world nor fame to show off like other people. That is all that I wanted for myself :')
Allahumma salli 'alaa Muhammad wa 'alaa aali Muhammad. Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace and love, amin!