Thankful to Allah, we could complete the service for Friday prayer this afternoon without problem. The sermon delivered by a lecturer of architecture department. I can't remember his name because lately my memory became quite tarnished do to anxiety syndrome. It is not really good for health. I talked with Amir, my ex-colleague about this too realizing how "suck" is our life that leads us to this kind of syndrome. He is with his problem anxious about his younger brother and sisters. While I am also anxious with thesis due date, the next semester classes, and family. I am worried about my dad's health. I love him though I never get enough attention when I was a little kid. I understood him, he needs to work hard and sacrificing for the family.
I try to perform meditation again and it will surely cut me off from other brothers in faith or anyone. It is not easy to maintain positive mind when we are in uncertain period and when we keep asking "what if" although we try not to think much about the future.
The preacher said that people today are too busy and too much influenced by material that makes them have no free time to greet neighbors even those beside their houses. It makes the relationship turns insipid. The failure to understand the concept of neighborhood makes people misunderstood each other, quarreling, fighting and to the serious one such as hurting and killing their own neighbors. It ruins the unity of society and raising up the enmity among society while Islam emphasizes the need to be good to the neighbors and respecting everyone. The prosperity of a country and nations depends on the relationship of every individual in the society.
The quality of a society is reflected through understanding and the closeness of each other. It encompasses the boundary of religions, races, ethnicity, color, and languages. Everyone is encouraged to be good to everyone regardless these aspects. Nations are urged to maintain good ties and relationship. Trying to be friendly as to form a peaceful and harmonious life. When facing problems, trying to solve them through good means.
Says the God through Quran: "Be good to your parents, your relatives, orphans, paupers, close and distanced neighbors, travelers in trouble and servants (if you have ones)." (Surah an-Nisaa verse 36)
Prophet Muhammad s.a.w says: "Archangel Gabriel a.s always reminds me about neighbors until I though that neighbors inherit each other (it means that living like a family)."
In the reality of life today, human could not run from living with each other and forming a society. Whether in the village or towns. Either they are interested or not interested to face their neighbors, or having different tastes and hobbies, or different characteristics. They are still in a society and forming neighborhood. Islamic manners of neighborhood prohibits a Muslim to reveal the humiliating secrets of a neighbor to others, intruding their residence, and taking their rightful rights (by all means either by law or by force).
Prophet Muhammad s.a.w says: "The most good among humans are those who bring benefits to others."
Ibnu Qayyim rahimahullah explained the hadith above through an explanation saying that: Those who did charities to others, the God will also be good to him. Those who display the merciful act to others, the God will also be Merciful to him. Those who brings benefits to others, the God will also pours benefit to him and those who protecting the secrets of others, the God will also protecting his secrets and never humiliating him. Those who prevents benefits to others (due to jealousy or enmity) or committing the acts other than prescribed, the God will also do the same to him in both this world and the hereafter.
Prophet Muhammad s.a.w also says: "The doomsday would never come unless there are much disgusting acts and words came out from human-being, severing the ties of mercy among each other and disrespecting neighbors." (narrated by Ahmad and Hakim)
Manners of Being a Neighbor
They are summarized as 30 altogether by Imam al-Ghazali rahimahullah:
1. Trying to create friendly condition through self-introducing and respecting each other. Greeting each other with peace prayers which is assalaamu'alaikum when meeting a fellow Muslim and respecting fellow non-Muslim with respectful greetings.
2. Trying to tolerate everyone in term of religious matters, cultural differences, lifestyle, and etc if there are differences.
3. Never physically or mentally hurt neighbors by all means which is through words, acts, or bad thoughts. An evil and immoral neighbor is depicted as a possessed by black ghost (Satan) until they could do evil things and brings fear to others.
Prophet Muhammad s.a.w says: "By the God, a person is not faithful..." The companions asked him: "Who is that dear prophet?" He says: "A person who makes his neighbor lives in fear because of his evilness." (narrated by Bukhari and Muslim)
In another hadith, prophet Muhammad s.a.w says: "A person never enter the paradise if his neighbor feels scared and not at peace due to his evil deeds." (narrated by Muslim)
3. Always talking in good speech and respecting neighbors as human.
4. Being humble, gentle and avoiding from bragging about ourselves.
5. Always trying to help neighbors in any form.
6. Loving neighbors like loving ourselves. Trying to be in accordance with neighbors as long as it is not against the religious rites and trying to avoid anything that is disliked by neighbors.
7. Taking care about neighbors and showing sympathy on the problem faced by them in the matter of religion, family, matrimonial, psychology, health, education, finance, food and drinks, and others. Displaying noble morality to respective neighbors.
8. Never insulting and looking down on neighbors regardless status. Always respecting neighbors and appreciate them. Being thankful to neighbors on their gifts, services, and assistance.
9. The ones in the top priority to be treated like a family are 40 houses around our houses. At the right, the left, the back and the front of our houses in the measurement of 40 houses are all our family and neighbors regardless if they are relatively connected to us or not.
10. Trying to create peaceful, tranquil, and nice environment at the neighborhood. This is a factor which is mentioned by prophet Muhammad s.a.w in the pillars of happiness, one of it is a good neighbor.
11. Always protecting oneself from offenses such as vandalism, polluting the dignity of one selves and neighbors and it includes the family of neighbors, their properties, their religions, and etc.
12. Avoid from being too nosy about others personal matters or about their family matters unless if they come to us and telling us to get assistance to solve problems.
13. Help those who are afflicted by calamity and disasters may they became peaceful and tranquil.
14. Put ourselves in neighbors' shoes. When they are facing the difficulties, try to imagine that we are also in difficulties like them and when they are in happiness we are also feeling happy for them. Congratulate them when they are getting new houses, new furniture, receiving new babies, marriages, and others. Sending them condolence when there are misfortunes like death and others.
15. Avoid from looking at stuffs brought by neighbors to their home. There is no necessity to be nosy about that.
16. Never be careless in calling them toward charity and chastity. Preventing evil and vices through wisdom.
17. If our neighbors are committing evil acts, be patient and always ready to forgive them their sins. Never strike back evil with evil but giving people only goodness.
18. Never listen to slanders and gossips of others about our neighbors and never be influenced by those evil matters.
19. Visit neighbors when they are sick and not well. Taking care about their health.
20. Help in managing their corpse when there is death in the neighborhood.
21. Never heralding neighbors errors, humiliating them or telling others about their errors.
22. Helping neighbors in term of finance such as loan or donation if they need it.
23. Merciful and gentle to neighbors' children.
24. Looking after the safety of neighbors' home and children while they are not at home.
25. Congratulate them when there are good events happening to neighbors especially when they receive goodness and blessed by the God with good things.
26. Sending condolence to neighbors when they are in disasters.
27. Never build any high building which could obstruct the flow of the wind to neighbors' houses unless if they permit it and happy with it. Never burden neighbors by placing something which could prevent them from entering their own houses just for our own satisfaction.
28. Never hurt neighbors with the smell of the cooking. If the cooking is nice then give some for them to taste and enjoy it.
29. Giving presents to neighbors some fruit that we bought for their health and clean them first before giving them to neighbors.
30. Always praying for safety and happiness of the neighbors.
Three Kinds of Neighbors with Their Rights
1. Muslim neighbors with relative ties are with three rights as neighbors. They possess the rights of a neighbor, a family, and a brethren in faith.
2. Muslim neighbors who have no relative ties possess two rights where they are to be treated as a neighbor and a respective brethren in faith.
3. Non-Muslim neighbors possess a right which is the right of a neighbor who is to be respected with 30 manners mentioned above.
Somehow this sermon is like hitting my nose too, lol. I have no strength to be friendly or talking to people anymore. If I have the choice, I would just run to the mountain, grassland or desert and live their until my end comes. I am afraid of negative thinking might influence my life but we have no choice as human is meant to live together as a society. If we keep our distance with people, people might also think that we are this and that. That is not good for them too because it cause them negative thinking.
Urmm, now I also feel like living in a cave while having to finish the thesis. This place is perfect for temptations by Satan and also meditation. I feel like wanted to jump down from the tenth floor here but each time I noticed that it is Satan who is tempting me to do this silly and sinful act. It happens few times when I am pressured and I have no one to talk about the problem. When producing or doing something heavy, we needs someone to at least listen or discuss about the topic but I could not find anyone since postgraduate is not like undergraduate. We are on our own.
Other than that, I am afraid that I might also burden others who are not related and I believe nobody would want to be associated to others problem. It is a common thing in which I understood. I still remember reading the Gospel of Matthew about Prophet Jesus a.s was also tempted by Satan after he was baptized (ghusl) where he was challenged by Satan to jump down from the tower of a temple. It shows that Satan indeed interfering when we are alone. Even the prophet of the God also experienced that. We are just ordinary people as compared to him. When some friends come to me or my siblings talk to me about their problem I would also try to listen because I understand the feeling. In case like my seniors, auntie Roslin who also telling me about her problems until 2 a.m in the morning on Wednesday. Because of that I had cancelled my weekly fasting for two days Monday and Thursday but never mind. At least she feels better. I feel sorry that I can't help her as I am also stuck here. If not perhaps I might offer myself to perform sacrifice. I don't mind helping brothers and sisters in faith without any payment but just help me with prayers.
This one is a reminder to myself if I engaged in the society and community. For brothers and sisters in Europe and Western countries, try to also respect your non-Muslim neighbors and friends if they do not hurt you. Also everywhere in the world, we are the people who follow the nature of the universe. So we try to live in accordance to the nature.
Allahumma salli 'alaa Muhammad wa 'alaa aali Muhammad. Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin!