Housing Unit, You are so Cruel :'(

Assalamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah!

I miss you dear Masjidilharam, everyday I am missing you. I don't know when I could have the chance to visit you again and performing services and commemorating the God in you dear holy mosque, holy city... :'(

First of all, I think housing unit in the USM is so cruel and more biased to people with disability just to show how concern and friendly they are to disables, elders, and foreigners. It is not like I am a heartless person who does not care about everyone around but I think this is too much. They had made normal people and local postgraduate students more contemptible than a bug. They are also indirectly insulting the ability of people whom they called as people of different ability but their 'treatment' and policy to these people is just the same traditional and typical way of old days. The housing unit asked me to provide letters from hospital or clinics showing any disability or health problem if I wanted to shift the hostel or stay in the same hostel while I am paying higher rates than bachelor students. I wanted to stay at the hostel near the mosque, I am always late to congregational prayers :'(  The condition of the hostel which is out of social contact or at least TV could also bring me into depression and psychological impact in which I would become more of anti-social since it blocks me from contact with people in the mosque including teachers and community through branches of reasons which is logical. I almost jumped down my room at my previous room because of boredom but faith prevented me from doing that. This is no joke. No sane normal human could bear this condition. I assure everyone!

I can listen the adzan very clear at my room though my room is very far and that makes me feeling guilty to the God if I do not attend the prayer service at the adzan voice being aired. I don't have any car nor motorbike and that makes me late although I sleep only two hours at night. It is mobility problem and I am not blessed like others with vehicles. Parents said that I should get a proper vehicle but I do not have proper job since I can't take any job-opportunities that had came because of this master application that I made that put me in the middle. So, I don't borrow any of my sisters' cars. I don't have money to refill the gas, anyway. All of the savings is directed for the study where this 'APEX' university had encouraged its students to pursue. Do I have to break my own legs or standing in front of the cars at Bukit Gambir to be hit and being another professor X to get the permission to shift hostel? We post-graduate students are paying higher fees compared to bachelor students. Many postgraduate students worked half-way and have to stop because of bureaucracy that you people created!

Why can't we go to any place of our preference if there is vacant room or place? We are not bachelor degree anymore. I do not apply any scholarship nor loan, I am trying to survive through borrowing my family members salt and I am shy for having to beg to people but yet I am still paying fees at the time! When the time for fee (money) comes, you people are very quick at sending the bills demanding payment and may even call us urging the payment if we are late. But when people asking your help, you are reluctant to help. It's not like everyday I am burdening you. I am trying to ease everybody pain and difficulties too, that is the custom in society we help each other. Housing and administration staffs, why you people are so cruel to your brethren???! Next time, never try to persuade people to continue studies in your organization if you do not want people to study. This university is not in my list to suggest for others and it only has science of hadith for religious studies under the department of humanities while the administrators are Muslims. People of Islamic Center could not reconcile with some people of administration too. Perhaps it has to do with their personal political ideologies and it affects others who have no political affiliations at all. I know all of these since I was in bachelor degree though I never mingle with people in the student committee at the hostel... My ex-roommate brother Zaidi was also apart of the bureau in Aman hostel until they decided to stay away because the person who is in charge for the hostel is not in favor to those who tends to be more to another political party. I am not supporting any political party as it is not my concern but when people who call themselves as Muslim began to act like those in Europe, I can't accept it. It is acceptable if they are non-Muslim, perhaps non-Muslim could not tolerate other religious group and people should respect them if they are the administrator of the country. It is so complicated here, I just don't understand anyone here. I just wish Allah forgives me my negative thoughts, it is hard to refrain from this negativity when we are in this kind of environment... It sometimes burning and torturing us and each time I have to ask forgiveness and patience from Allah 'Azza wa Jalla. 

For now, maybe I need to bring some hygienic stuffs for prayer services, some notebooks for research in the library, and getting ready in Thursday for early class as I can say nothing anymore when they talked about medical letter unless if 'evil' happens on normal students as they wish. I could stay anywhere under the trees or maybe in musallas of other hostels in the same time dealing with other things. Azren who were generous offering me shelter while I am in the campus too will be graduating tomorrow so I have no one to shelter me anymore after this. I don't think that I would be furthering studies in this 'academic' field. I am still here because I need to finish whatever is left. I just wanted to study His path and it's ok if it's not popular nor glamorous.

I don't want duniya, it's not suitable for me. I am not amazed with APEX status of this university at all. Nothing interesting in it! You people (office and administration and anyone) can take these duniya matters with you. I leave it to you people may you be happy in your office until the Day and the Fact comes though it is invincible since it is only a prophecy in the scripture (Quran). It might be happening or might not be happening but I have faith in His promise. For now, let me bear the thorns and bitterness of this duniya in turn for you people to stay in prosperity (in general to human-being). Thank you and praise be to the Lord of the Universe, amin! :'''''''''''

Sealed with salawat, prayers for peace, mercy, and love, amin!