Quranic Memorization : Surah al-Kahfi I

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah

Audio Part I

Diary

Just returned home. I can't really avoid musalla because my room is dusty to perform prayer. The floor is not smooth and I could not clean it like I was in my previous hostel during undergraduate time. I usually lie my face downward on the floor after I recite supplication and it already becomes a habit. I have to be careful when many people especially when I cry to Him I could not lift up my face but placing my forehead and nose down the floor.

I just wait until congregational prayer service being done for Dzuhr and 'Asr prayer just to avoid seeing people around. I prayed alone or maybe seeing if a person praying there I will make him my imam. Many people in musalla especially the senior undergraduates have giving me nice memories which will make me feel reluctant to leave them behind but I am always aware that the 'time' will never stay the same and they might not understood an 'old primitive guy' like me. 

If we still stay in the same place, but people and situation will always change. We can't get the time passing anymore. I am facing it now. Plus it sucks to be a master student. We can't go up nor going down the level. We wanted to befriend other postgraduate students but they are also occupied with their works and when we tried to befriend with undergraduate students, they might feel awkward speaking to me because I don't mingle with their friends. We are stuck in the middle. 

I actually went out to Queensbay Mall to calm down myself in this uncertain period. I just wander around alone and watching movie which is the Wrath of Titan. I found that it is not fun at all because I don't like Greek mythology. Since I was undergraduate student I always like this. I only go out with my course mate which was Amir if he does not go home. He never invite me to his house like other normal friends always do and I always understood the reasons behind. We go to class together and we joined the same classes as to make it easy to do assignments and homework. We never join other course mates and being out cast in the class because other course mates are afraid of Amir and it also affects me as his close friend. Sometimes we have dinner or lunch together and I will treat him as a respect because my roommate him self do not give me face to establish silaturrahim and being an observant servant for nations. Amir was not an observant Muslim can I say and I never force him to follow me to masjid or showing off to him that I am the most observant Muslim.

Da'awa Dimensions of a Plain Muslim : Spreading His Love and Mercy to Others

I didn't mingle with Tabligh kids and Islamic Center kids at that time because I don't want to scare away Amir or other naughty kids. The result is I have to face psychological torments and also laughed by people who do not understand what I am doing including my own family members. I am doing everything for da'awa just like what noble prophets had done and when we read what they had experienced. They do not live happy life too although they may choose to be like other happy human-being. I just pray for people who laughed, mocked and looking at me like a freak because they do not know what I am doing. My prophets were also facing these and they are now resting in peace waiting for Resurrection with other sages, teachers and my faithful brothers and sisters of the past. People would never look at me like something if they always recite and ponder on what Allah talks in glorious Quran. Quran is not for decoration, present to be displayed for marriage presents, or to show off that we are Muslim when we have it. It is to be kept in "heart" and to be recited. It is to be practiced. Maybe others are fortunate to have friends around to chat with them spending time together cherish their memories but I only have Allah words with me. His words are my friends and teachers. Allah is my True Friend and True Teacher. He taught Muhammad s.a.w with His word and His word also teaches me now. 

I taught Amir and others slowly in the manner that no one realize it with my attitude, prayers and behavior according to Quranic teachings and Sunnah but in a bit twisted way because we have to be creative. I found that he slowly begin to perform prayer services but I did not praise him nor offend him. I just leave it like that and never talking about what I saw. I just continue praying for him. Like always I have to mingle with this kind of people and in the beginning I tell brothers and sisters that I love the most, I was mentally and physically tortured and I have to put one of my foot into the hell-fire for other brothers who are not accepted by 'faithful' Muslims.

As an example during Ramadan 2007 when we break our fast, some of those "naughty" kids who mingled with me did not pay at the restaurants and just ran away. So the food that they took is non-halal because it is not legal to eat the food without permission. I also have to pretend to be like them because I can't tell them I can't do all of things or they may run away. If they could mingle with "orthodox" and Islam Syumul guys, they would long joined them but they can't as they think they are "filthy". When I returned to my room, I have to poke my throat until I vomit everything. It is very tormenting and I cried alone without anyone beside me not even my family members. And tomorrow I will find the manager of the restaurant and asking them forgiveness, later paying them the amount of the food that those "brothers" had not pay. I did not tell them nor claiming my money from them because I "love" them. They are my brothers and they are Muslims but just unfortunate. I talked with the manager next time do not say anything to them and please do not humiliate them. I will pay for them, they are my family and brothers. If they do not pay please just snatch me, I will bear the consequence for them.     

My tears dropping each time I remember this because I did all of these alone and I also entered temples alone to spread His mercy to nations. Last time I also listened to brother Firdaws telling me about his experience but I never in turn tell them what happened to me. If I tell people about myself, it means that I am saying goodbye to them and they will never see me anymore. I am also experiencing what Tabligh kids experienced but I have to face torture more. I have to be very discreet dipping myself into the shoes of those unfortunate people, crying and whipping myself with the buckle of belt at night for sins that I had to commit to help my "beloved" brothers to come out from unfortunate situation and I am doing everything alone and nobody understood it instead treating me like a freak. They never come to talk to me alone and discussing matters alone but only waiting for other people to be with them to dare talking to me. I am not a monster nor I attack people on what they believe. I wanted to share this with people as to tell them that there are people who could not be put into a group but sometimes needed some space given to them. When we perform da'awa sometimes we go in group and sometimes alone because the "audience" might be alone or lonely. Not all people will accept or understand this so brothers and sisters who know me, that is why you always see me alone here or any where :'( 

Tabligh and Islamic Center kids were looking at me strangely. They too did not accept me when I tried to join them after that because I mingled with 'filthy' people. Some of the people in the movement also emphasized that only their movement is the way for Salvation and I found that it is not likely because every Muslim is the same and why not we just move without being tagged like Tabligh? I also belong to a mission order but I never mention to people that my mission order is the only Jama'at to save everyone. When I come back here I think perhaps I should establish relationship with them but they assume me as an ignorant Muslim, do not assuming me as their brother but only a 'toy' to be played with, do not giving me face to be a good friend or brother or talking something which makes me sad. I face all of these from different groups of 'orthodox' Muslim kids but maybe they are kids and I should perhaps not mingle with kids because I am already old before my old age come? :'(  

Introduction

I thought of writing this one in Chinese first but never mind. I will keep this note and just translate it later when I am free. Internet could be accessed widely nowadays and those who are interested could get the notes printed out for others who are out of the reach or help me correct my wrong grammar or mistakes. I actually have this idea for long but I had forgotten. I only remember about this when I saw our people (Hui Muslims) here because I think there are now many of them in our university not like before and I have to be a hidden Chinese speaker Muslim. I consider Hui people of China as our people because their first paternal ancestors were also from Arabia and from Persia.

Maybe they would feel weird but we already know many things about them. Our people has connection among the tariqah (mission orders) who were also missionaries to regions. We are in between Arabia, India and China. I think instead of people in my hostel especially from Indonesia asking me this and that, why not google and get information from wikipedia the easiest source? Or if hardworking, go do some research in library and check at religious, history, social and politics sections on what they are curious about. Sometimes their simple questions actually makes me feel surprised on their general knowledge level because I was not a university students, instead I was not a good performer in schools. How do I know about everything around? That is because I care about the dynamics of society and the world. Sometimes it interrupts me when I am trying to get further and deeper information on Islamic mission in Eastern part of the region and I have to shut up my mouth because they are talking. That is why I always avoid people because I think it is useless if people are talking in the same time. Just come and find me alone if wanted to talk.      

Why am I trying to write in Chinese ya? Last time I watched news about Chinese muallaf or new Muslim couple from Pahang. Like always they are in the category of what Malays would derogatorily call as Cina Bukit or 中山 (Tongsan) or Cina Jinjang whatever it is which means their command in Malay is quite low since they were from Chinese lower education, living only in Chinese atmosphere which I also experienced this though I am not a 'Chinese' nor being educated in Chinese stream or perhaps they are poor uneducated Chinese. In the news that I can remember they said that they tried to have access with Malay community which are always the majority Muslim group in Malaysia but people keep themselves away from them. They do not know where to go and only have final choice to return to Chinese folk religion because they are also isolated by their community and relatives. I am sorry I have to talk about this but this the fact of this world, the reality we are facing today.

In Malaysia we do not have Islamic books in Chinese for Islamic branches of studies like Tajweed (Quranic recitation), Hadiths and Sunnah, Islamic Morality and Creed, Prayer and Supplications translations which talk in detail about all of these subject matters like in Malay or in Tamil. In Indian Muslim masjids, they have lectures for religious teachings in Tamil and they have private schools for Islamic studies teaching branches of the path in Tamil which is their mother tongue. And some of them who call themselves "Malays" but speaking at home in Tamil and eating Nasi Kandar with curry harshly offending people who are educated in Chinese. I have no choice but also to also be a "Chinese" because I need to reach other Chinese speaking Muslim compatriots. I thought that in China they also have all of these books but I don't think it is widespread. I have to begin the translation again if without help, I will do it alone to whatever that I am capable to do. I am not doing this for educated people but for people who are not educated in Malay and in Malaysia we have these kind of people. We cannot blame them. It is not the time to blame people anymore. It is the time to quickly exercise His mercy to others.  

Other reason is many madrasah students in Malaysia actually are non-Chinese educated people but they are only Arabic and Classical Malay educated people. Actually I try to explain this to some undergraduate foreign students from China on what I had already encountered as a Chinese culture influenced person but they are with people around and I am also thinking on a good way to explain to them why I always keep my silence when I was with Malay students or Indonesian students around them. I met another Muslim master student from China too in the bank but I didn't speak to him because people do not expect an Indian/Nepali face would speak in Chinese. He was asking a Malay (actually a mamak or Indian Muslim) about Chinese education in Malaysia and that 'Malay' guy's opinion is quite harsh on the attitude of our Chinese compatriots toward education. I myself feel that it is a curse to speak in Chinese and being a Chinese speaker in a racial based environment and when people talked about Malaysian Chinese I always feel down as I am also categorized as a Malaysian Chinese speaker. 

Last time when I mingled with Amir which was my course mate and also my hostel mate, he actually had ridiculed Chinese community and Chinese speakers as he watched too much American movies. So, I feel quite down but I don't feel angry too him because he is my friend. How could I be angry to my friend or my brother although they hurt me? Maybe I just feel aggrieved but I will keep it only to myself unless if the situation needs me to explain what I feel.   

About Surah al-Kahfi

This is one of my favorite surah in Quran. It is also used as a cure for diseases by our jurisprudence imam, Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal rahimahullahu 'anhu. I actually intend to memorize this surah after I finished surah Ta-Ha which I actually had done but my life here is not as stable as when I was in undergraduate time. So, I had ruined my memorization and have to begin from the beginning. Besides I always have to perform Salat Sunat at-Tawbah as I feel that I am growing filthy when I mingle with people though the people that I mingled with are observant Muslims. Actually people are not wrong but when we mingle we will have many kind of feelings, perceptions and thoughts. On the other hand, being a master student is not as fun as being an undergraduate student especially when all of our friends who had earlier doing master had graduated and I am the only one who is still stuck here. No support from friends no roommate to share or exchange thoughts or even asking anything when I am stuck and having problem with technology. I am also having lunch and dinner alone. I know people would never dare coming knocking my room asking me whether I am free or messaging me. I am the only one who message people if I found that it is not nice to knock people doors. Last time when brother Firdaws messaged me, I still entertain him. But in the beginning I would be quite slow because I am not in the same level with them. I am in the beginning was a loner. I don't make friend through friend. People wanted to be friend me, just come directly to me. Not by friend. It shows sincerity.       

Parts in This Surah

I am going to divide the message of this surah into five parts according to what Allah talks to us regarding our path. For the beginning I will only post about two parts of the surah. Actually I am memorizing Quran according to these parts of stories and when we recite in prayer services we may choose whether reciting it in the form of parts or in form of pages like maybe one page for a unit of prayer service. The most important thing for me is not how many pages that we recite in the unit of prayer but the message for ma'amums behind and also for the imam himself at the front. 

For non-Arabic speakers or those who are not fluent in Arabic, we need a translation of Quran in our own language and I always encourage brothers and sisters to spend free time with Quranic translation reading and parallel checking with original Arabic one. The most important thing dear brothers and sister, is how are we going to practice Quran in ourselves? For me I don't like to listen people praising this person that person such as when I was in Tabligh masjid. One person calling a Quran memorizer kid to be an imam and proudly saying: "this people are walking Quran!" People already know about this, no need to loudly talk about this. 

For me it is not so good first because it harms that kid characteristic and second the person should also try make the Quran circulate in him self if he care about the Path! A person whose Quran is circulating within himself will never talk like that, if he is amazed with a person he will just slowly come and talk with the person without being seen by others. When I talk like this, it does not mean I am a restrictive person. People can talk about any topics with me as long as I know I could also talk about the same topic, but we should know the boundary of speech when we come to the matters of the Path especially the moral which lies behind it. Last time a Wahhabi Arab congregation member in masjid also said to me : "Insha Allah after you join our discourse on kitab Muhammad bin Abdul Wahhab, you will also become and ustadz". After that I never join them anymore. I was a translation and interpretation student. I also interprete a lot and reads interpretation behind lines of the speeches. It is crazy but I guess it is just our nature.   

First Two Part We are Going to See?

1. Criticism on the Doctrine of "the Son of the God"

2. The Young Men in the Cave

First Part of the Message : Criticism on the Doctrine of "the Son of the God"

In the Name of Allah the Most Compassionate the Most Merciful

All praise to Allah who reveals down to His slave the book and never making it crooked inside 1 As a direction to remind people about bitter torments from Him and as a good news for people who have faith and those who perform the practices of charity that they are going to receive good retaliation 2 They will be eternal in it forever 3 And it is to remind those who say that: "the Lord takes a Son" 4 They have no knowledge about this (doctrine) and so do their ancestors. Very hideous the word that come out from their mouths. What they said (the doctrine) is nothing but a liar 5 So, will you (Muhammad and those who profess witness on your prophethood) commit suicide feeling so sad when they turn away from this discourse? 6 Indeed We bring whatever on the earth as decorations for her as a mean to test on those who are better in their charity 7 And indeed We also will in fact make whatever on her barren and flat 8 

Second Part of the Message : The Young Men in the Cave        

Don't you ever recount that indeed the dwellers of the cave and the raqim (a dog or perhaps an inscription) are from Our miraculous signs? 9 At the time where the youths walks to the cave and they said (pray) our Lord : "Grant to us from Your side the Mercy and complete for us Your Straight Guidance in our matters" 10 And We strike to close their ears in the cave for years 11 And We make their heart firm at the time when they raised up and the said : "Our Lord, the Lord of the heavens and earth; we will never call other than Him as our Lord. If we say others are our Lord then we are talking far from the Truth" 12 They who are our people, taking other than Him as their gods 13 Why they do not propose to us on what basis they are doing that? 14 Who are more cruel than those who make lies to Allah? 15 

And when you leave them and what they are worshiping other than Allah, thus search for a cave for a shade and your Lord will spill on you His Mercy and providing for you what is important for your matters 16 And when you see the sun when it rises on their cave at the right side and when you see it sunken moving far from them to the left and they are in a wide space in the cave. That is from the signs of Allah. And those who are guided will be guided. Those who are deviated will be deviated and no one could even guide them (it is the Will of Allah) 17 

And you may thought that they are awake while they are actually sleeping. And We flip them right and left. And their dog projected both of its front feet at the face of the cave. And those who see it will run away with the heart full of fear 18 And We wake them up  as for them to ask among themselves. Said one from them : "How long have you been here?" Others said : "Perhaps half a day?" Said others : "Your Lord knows more on how long you have been here". So wake up one of you and go to the town with these silver coins and see whatever is good and safe to be eaten and bring it back for you from the sustenance from Him and be gentle do not tell to others on your matters 19 Indeed they once knowing where is your hidden place will stone you or forcing you to convert to their way and if it happens so, you will be unfortunate forever 20   

And as such we show them to human-being so may they know that the promise of Allah is true and the "Time" which has no doubt on it will come as He commanded it. And say some among the human : "Build on it buildings. Your Lord knows more about them". Those with authority among them said : "We will build on it (the cave) a veneration place" 21

And then some people will say, they are three and fourth is their dog and some will say they are five and the sixth is their dog as the guess for the things which they can't witness with their own eyes. And others say, they are seven and the eight is their dog. Say! Your Lord knows more on how many of them. Nobody knows about it except a very minority of people. So (Muhammad and those who witness his prophethood), do not quarrel with them about their matters except in the internal quarrel and never ask about them about these young men to any one of them 22

And never say anything like : "I will do it tomorrow morning" 23 Except saying : "Insha Allah (whatever He Wills)". And remember Your Lord when you had forgotten and say : "May my Lord giving me His guidance and making me close to the truth than this" 24

And they stayed in the cave 300 years plus other nine years 25 Say (o Muhammad and people) : "Allah knows more on how many years they stayed there". For Him (the knowledge) whatever is hidden in heavens and earth. His view is extremely clear, His listening is extremely sharp and accurate. Nobody except Him as the Protector Guardian and He has no partners for His decisions 26

Closing

Wishing this is beneficial for myself and for others who stepped by. Allah please grant everyone Your mercy and love. Let everyone peacefully co-exist among each other and be nice to each other. Allah I beg You please forgive my countless sins. I repent to You and I testify You are my Lord and Muhammad s.a.w is my prophet and messenger sent to me and others and as a mercy for the universe. 

Sealed with prayers for mercy, peace, and love, amin ya Rabbal 'aalamiin!